Porn Reviews » Adult DVD Reviews »
This 1978 Metro production, written and directed by Jon Cutaia is a XXX take on Heaven Can Wait. Starring P.J. Whigham as Saint Peter, Morning Star as Angel Face, Lottie Daah and Madeline Mutzah as the Angelettes, alongside more recognizable names such as John Leslie, Turk Lyons, Moira Benson and Mimi Morgan the film follows a couple named Will (John Leslie) and Mona (Moira Benson). When we first meet them Will gives his girl a flower and she gives him some action. They hit the bed and make out and he fucks her missionary style. She rides him cowgirl style and then he fucks her doggy style. He fucks her missionary style one last time then pulls out and shoots across her cleavage. The finish up, have a smoke and talk about their relationship and then they take the phone off the hook, turn the gas all the way up on the stove with the oven door wide open, and lie in bed together to shuffle off this mortal coil as they make out one last time. He fucks her missionary style and as they flop around on the bed and the instrumental score grows louder and louder, they die.
Will and Mona must not have been Catholic, however, as we soon see them walking up a hill with a bunch of other people where they meet an angel (Morning Star if the credits are to be believed) who tells them they're going to be judged. St Peter passes down judgment on each one of them through a series of flashbacks we learn what these people did back on earth that was recorded in St. Peter's book.
We cut to earth where we see Turk Lyon exercising. His new maid, Ms. Prude (Josephine Farmer) helps him out and he sneaks a peek up her skirt. He hangs upside down and lifts up her skirt and eats her out while she pulls his pants up and sucks him off. She stops and runs away and he chases her around the pool while some banjo music plays. He fucks her from behind over the diving board and then gets her missionary style on the patio bricks until he finishes up. He tells her she needs a bath and tosses her into the pool. He goes back to hanging upside down and she sucks him off some more and he blows a load into her mouth. St. Peter banishes him to hell for this.
From there, Jonathon Younger (a black dude with massive sideburns), an auto club employee, is called to the stand. St. Peter calls him a stupid twit and tells him that he's dead. He accuses him of getting smothered to death by shoving his head into the crotch of Mrs. James Gilmore. We flashback and see Mimi Morgan in need of some help with her car. Younger shows up and while he slides under the car to work on it she gives him head. She rides him reverse cowgirl style and then he slides out from underneath the car to fuck her missionary style. She flips over and he eats her out and then fucks her doggy style and spoon style before coming onto her pelvis. He passes out and she sits on his face and he gets smothered to death by her wiggling. One he's head, she sits in the back seat of her car and finger fucks herself. St. Peter sends this poor guy to hell as well.
Wanting to expedite things so that he can get lunch, Donald (John Seeman) is called forward and accused of falling to his death while demonstrating a vacuum cleaner to a man's wife played by Melba Bruce. We see him arrive at her apartment and try to sell her the machine and one thing leads to another and before you know it, he's sticking his dick in the vacuum cleaner to show off its suction power. She gives him head and then he fucks her missionary style on the couch. She rides him reverse cowgirl style and then he fucks her missionary style again before plopping a wad onto her chest. Her husband does indeed come home and find them together, at which point he pulls out a gun. Donald walks backwards and accidently falls off the balcony killing himself. As luck would have it, the gun was a lighter and the husband was hoping to get a threesome going. St. Peter banishes him to hell as well.
In the second to last sequence, the angle calls Mr. Elgin Tweety (Tyler Reynolds) who died of a heart attack. He's called to the stand and St. Peter tells him that he's truly not guilty. The flashback shows us how he was sitting at home and reading when two girls: Clair James and Val Anderson - claiming to be college students knock on the door and claim to need his help. Turns out these girls are robbers. They strip him and rape him at gun point. Clair sits on his face while Val gives him head and then Val rides him cowgirl style. She rides him and then jerks him to a finish and he blows his load all over his chest. The girls start to make out and then they switch spots so that Clair can ride him. She does just that while she munches on Val's pussy and then he eats Val out while he plows Clair missionary style. As he climaxes he has a heart attack and St. Peter lets him into heaven.
Just as he's about to get his lunch, St. Peter sees John Leslie and Moira Benson standing on the hill. He calls them to the stand and accuses them of double suicide. He asks them why they did it and they tell him they loved each other so much they couldn't bare to be apart. St. Peter also calls Leslie's character out on the fact that he was married, which he admits to. St. Peter tells them their case requires special circumstances and we flash back to Earth where Will and Mona are in bed together, still alive. A newspaper headline alerts them to the death of Will's estranged wife meaning they're free to live with one another and do whatever they want. They celebrate by giving one another oral sex and fucking missionary style.
A genuinely funny porno comedy, Judgment Day plays really well even a good thirty years since it was made. The plot isn't too heavy but the laughs come frequently enough and the interesting cast give the picture some flair. The sex scenes are reasonably steamy and hot enough to hold your interest without ever overstaying their welcome. All in all, it's a nice mix of sweaty, hairy seventies sex and good natured comedy.The DVD
This fullframe transfer, which appears to present the film in its original aspect ratio, looks surprisingly sharp and colorful and the picture quality, for an old XXX film from 1978, looks okay even if the colors are a bit wacky in a few spots. There are some specks here and there as well as a moderate amount of grain but this looks to be a film sourced transfer and not a VHS or tape source. The black levels stay strong, the skin tones look natural aside from a few instances that have an orange tint to them, and while there are a few scenes that look a bit on the soft side, overall this is a nice picture, even if the transfer is interlaced.Sound:
The Dolby Digital Mono soundtrack is a little muffled and not of the best quality, but again, it's taken from an older source so the limitations of the era's technology are going to be there when that's the case. Dialogue is pretty easy to understand, however, and the background music comes through reasonably clear. There aren't a lot of sound effects used in the film, mostly just some random moaning and groaning during the action scenes and these are handled just fine, as are the talkier bits of the movie.Extras:
Aside from some tacky animated menus, VCX has included three bonus scenes, the first of which is from The Girls Of Treasure Island and features Stephanie Rage giving head on a beach before riding her man cowgirl style and taking a big facial at the end. The second scene is from Here Comes The Bride with Samantha Fox. Ms Fox takes on a pair of hair dudes in the kitchen. She sucks some cock and gets eaten out and fucked from behind before they blow loads on her face. Scene number three is from Rock Hard and after an awesome intro where Nina Hartley Patti Cakes and Taija Rae lip synch, we see a girl called herself UltraVox (Taija Rae) making out with a record exec type. He eats her pussy and ass and she blows him before getting fucked missionary style and doggy style. The last scene is from Personal Services it features John Holmes getting head in a bar from a cute dark haired cocktail waitress.
Rounding out the extras are a still gallery of home video art (always welcome), trailers for Dear Fanny, Peek Freak, Trinity Brown and Too Hot To Touch as well as some animated menus, scene selection and a web-link. The VCX Legendary Tribute compilation reel that's appeared on a lot of recent Cal Vista Classics discs over the last few months pops up here as well (it's a five minute compilation of clips from various films that have been released in the line).Final Thoughts:
Judgment Day is a well made sex comedy with a good script and a strong cast. VCX's transfer is okay, watchable enough if not amazing, and the disc comes recommended.