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Captain Stabbin' 2

Studio: Reality Kings » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 8/11/09

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Captain Stabbin' 2

Reality Kings

Genre: Web-to-DVD, Gonzo

Director: Icey Mike

Cast: Vixen, Dave, Captain Stabbin, Raquel, Elle, Shauna, Melina, Josh, Cheyanne Sweet, Tiffany Summers, Tennessee, Jay

Length: 189:43 minutes


Date of Production: 2/17/2006, 8/23/2006, 7/19/2006, 4/17/2007, 4/10/2007, 3/19/2007

Extras: There were some trailers and a photogallery but that was all.

Condoms: Some

Raquel and Elle with the Captain

Audio/Video Quality: Captain Stabbin' 2 was presented in the common 1.33:1 ratio full frame offering by director Icey Mike for Reality Kings as released in the MPEG-2 codec of a standard definition release. The lighting was okay, the sets were basic, and the resulting visual aspects of the movie were generic but much better than what you'd find on most websites these days when surfing the internet. The composition of the shots was usually optimal to the ladies who were allowed ample opportunity to show off their impressively curved bodies, following a generic formula that had them hooking up with a guy and the Captain himself, and then screwing their brains out. The grain wasn't a huge factor, nor was the video noise though and the bitrate was typically in the mid 5.3 Mbps range and thankfully, I didn't see any compression artifacts. Cameramen Jim and Tony could have had steadier hands but the unpolished look seemed appropriate for the production. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English using the standard 192 Kbps bitrate and a 48 kHz sampling rate but there did not appear to be any separation between the channels. The music was not a factor once the credits finished up and the voices, while slightly on the low side and hollow, were not as bad as expected in most cases, some wind noise prevalent


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Body of Review: Icey Mike is one of the in-house directors at Reality Kings, rarely credited directly for his work but important in the grander scheme of things nonetheless. His latest title making it my way is Captain Stabbin' 2 a set of web-to-DVD scenes shot a few years back for release on this "all anal" set of six scenes. By now, most people have probably seen just about everything under the sun so I wondered what the hook was here. Essentially, the draw was the premise that a variety of young ladies would jump on a small boat with their newly met companions, most of them engaging in sex with a relatively average male but also the hairy, aging captain himself too. If that helps fuel the fires of viewers well past their prime, so be it, but I caution all of you to refrain from buying a boat as a means to land pussy given the many challenges of ownership. The back cover described the title like this: "Ahoy there, landlubbers! You're about to witness the adventures of the Captain and his crew on the high seas! We recruit some young sweet things and bring 'em aboard our vessel, but before you know it they've got sailor meat in all of their portholes and gagging on the cock of the cockswain! Once our sails are raised those tails get blazed! Prepare to see these ladies take it in their fore and rear hatches while me and the crew lower the boom on 'em. All hands on dick!" Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that some condoms were used for those still interested:


Scene One: Vixen, a pale redhead with a slightly fleshy body, was up first with Dave (or "Jay" depending on which introduction you believe) and Captain Stabbin, the Minneapolis Minnesota native being asked what time it was by the guys. She was sunning herself on the beach and they offered her a ride on the boat, the ride leading to a sexual one in no time once she boarded with them. The captain wasted no time in familiarizing himself with her wares too, landing the first facial of the day since she only blew him while Dave boned her mouth, pussy, and ass to completion. Dave's wad of genetic juice was milked fairly well by the actively riding gal, his condom protecting both of them along the way. The company website described the scene like this: "Nothing beats going to get something to eat, and in the process, you pick up a babe. I mean, I went to buy chicken wings and I got a chick instead. I saw Vixen eating and I wanted to eat her out. We took her to the boat on a rainy day, but that did not matter. She is a party girl in every sense of the work. After I was done with her, my first mate Josh took over and she was ready for it. In fact, she was ready for anything. And I mean ANYTHING."

Cheyanne Sweet

Scene Two: Raquel and Elle, a couple of bikini shopping strippers, were up next when the guys picked them up Jay and Captain Stabbin, finding the vacationing ladies to their liking. The "offer a ride on the boat" trick worked yet again, the ladies finishing off the hairy captain before getting serious with his younger peer. Once again, the gals took the modest facial, but it was when they were going at each other and Jay that they seemed to be more at home sexually. The sex included the usual oral, vaginal, and anal action, the ladies assisting each other during the scene to help push their limits. The guys were even nice enough to allow the ladies a swimming session with life preservers before taking off, leaving the stranded gals to swim for it without any clothing as a means of washing off the genetic juice from their faces. The company said it like this: "Raquel and Ali were shoping for new bathing suits when we met them. It did not take us long to convince them to come with us for a boat ride, even though they were skeptical at first they both agreed to cum with us. they did not waste any time go get naked and start the fun! U CANT MISS OUT ON THIS TRAILER!!!!"

Tennessee and Tiffany Summers

Scene Three: Shauna, a very cute blond reminding me of Casey Parker when she entered the business, was up next as Jay and Captain Stabbin, approached her while she sunbathed on the beach. Her colorful bikini and quick smile made all of them happy, the boat showing the coastline in the background as the relatively generic sex took place. The captain fingered her while she inhaled his cock, the man launching his load onto her face when all was said and done. Jay took the honors of working her over in detail though, her ass zits kind of weakening the effect for me more than a little bit. After the three hole spree he penetrated her on, his wad of spew landed on her chest before she was summarily kicked off the boat. The company described it like this: "this girl was so sexy i couldn't even help myself. i found her working in a lingerie ship and got her to go on the yacht. she changed right in front of me and i knew it was over! What an amazing Rack, and body for that part! She is quite possibly the hottest shipmate weve had on this boat! Shes the top dog in my book!"

Scene Four: Melina, a brunette "blocker" (a gal that looks best a block away), was up next with Josh and Captain Stabbin, cameraman Tony T. assisting with the humor as they approached her sitting at an outdoor café. Her rack looked good but her face was not the best, her red outfit covering a skimpy blue bikini. The men applied the mack lines to the Philadelphia native and she fell for it, soon walking the plank to board the boat. Her chest looked less impressive uncovered though the oiled up look did not hurt their appeal. She moved into the cabin to blow the captain while Josh drilled her pussy and ass, the fingering of her asshole helping to stretch her for the back door action. She had a fleshy ass that appealed too, the captain losing the load on her chest while she continued to work with Josh until the ending chest pop of population pudding that led to her naked swim/abandonment. The company described it like this: "We met melina outside our favorite surf shop. The cap was looking for a new surf board but he found someting way better! Melina. This little cutie was a little hesitant about coming out with us on the boat but after talking for a bit we convinced her to cum with us. We took her back to the boat rocked her all day!"

Scene Five: Cheyanne Sweet, a lean stripper with a decent face, was the first to break the mold by only doing Josh, leaving the captain hanging. Josh brought her to the boat and oiled her up, soon getting blown and fucking her on the deck. The vaginal action showed her to be quite an active rider but the anal slowed her down considerably, the penetrative action the dominant part of the scene. They ended up finishing in the cabin and she took the facial, this being the rare gal that wasn't sent packing at the end. The company described it like this: "Cheyanne is the hottest chick we have ever had on the S.S. Stabbin. She has beautiful blue eyes, and an ass that dont quit. Of course, once I asked her to come on the boat, she jumped to the idea, literally. We were relaxing on the deck and the baby oil showed up, and thats when shit started to get freaky, and naughty, and let me tell you, this chick wanted more, and more."

Scene Six: Tiffany Summers and Tennessee, were up last with Jay and Captain Stabbin, the quartet hooking up in Ft Lauderdale for a boat ride. The guys picked them up along the beach and once they were on the boat, the ladies got frisky when oiled up. They blew the captain and went to work wholesale on Jay, the oral given by him as well as received before the anal penetration began. It was actually a fun scene and the cameraman seemed to really blab a lot here, the swimming gals left to fend for themselves after sharing the facial. The company described it like this: "Tiff is probably the hottest chick I have ever had in the SS Stabbin. And her friend too. Tiff had the best skin tone and perfect eyes, not to mention her ass, and pussy. This chick was so cute and hot at the same time, I almost feel bad for busting my nut right on her face. Yeah, almost. My first mate Josh brought out the baby oil, and then things really got naughty. Josh wanted to stick his dick in every hole, and he did."

Summary: Captain Stabbin' 2 by director Icey Mike for Reality Kings wasn't my favorite series from the company for a few reasons, including the way the ladies were ditched and the whole idea of the aging geezer captain getting in on the sex, but it was still worthy of a rating of Recommended thanks to the amount of strokability and replay value. Perhaps when I'm really old I'll appreciate the whole "old guy getting some" routine better but it wasn't a bad show either way. In short, Captain Stabbin' 2 displayed the misadventures of a small crew of guys using a boat to nail broads, every scene including anal for those that care.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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