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Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay Lohan

Studio: Hustler Video » Review by The Mooninite » Review Date: 8/16/09

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

The Movie:

Hustler seems to be cashing in on the porno comedy craze that's popular right now, with their Not The... series of XXX spoofs and now the Untrue Hollywood Stories line that's kicking off with a parody of the tabloid style life of one Lindsay Lohan. Played by Scarlett Fay, who really does bare an uncanny resemblance to the woman, this disc is a good mix of hardcore sex and reasonably funny comedic bits.

Here's a look:

Scene One - Scarlett Fay: Dolled up in a bouffant blonde wig, Scarlett, as Lindsay, hams it up for the photographer taking her picture during a photo shoot. He gets horny and hops into bed with her and she takes his pants down and gives him a nice, slow blowjob. She lies on her back and he spoon fucks her and then she gets down on all fours so that he can fuck her doggy style. She gets on her knees in front of him and sucks him off again and then rides him reverse cowgirl style. She gets on the bed, on her back, with her mouth open and he strokes off until he comes into her mouth.

Scene Two - Nicole Ray: After an interview with Sam (Dylan Ryan), Lindsay's girlfriend, and a studio executive we cut to a poolside where Scarlett and Nicole Ray get into a catfight. The studio exec calms Nicole down by taking her inside and licking her pussy. She gets into it and returns the oral favor as he fingers her before flipping her over and spoon fucking her. She breaks periodically to suck his prick and then she rides him reverse cowgirl style and regular old cowgirl style. She sucks him and then gets on her knees in front of him so that he can come into her mouth.

Scene Three - Scarlet Ray: After Scarlet causes a scene by exposing her tits in public, she winds up in rehab. She sneaks some booze in, however, and after drinking it decides to finger herself by a fountain. It's a quick scene but it still count.

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Scene Four - Sadie Swede: After some more faux interviews, we cut to Sadie Swede getting her tits sucked. She gives her boy toy a blowjob, sucking him right down to the short and curlies and titty fucking him a bit for good measure. She gives him a rim job while he jerks off, and then bends over so that he can fuck her doggy style. She rides him reverse cowgirl style and then he spoon fucks her for a bit and then she gives him some more voracious head until he comes into her mouth.

Scene Five - Eden Adams: Eden, as Paris Hilton, gets into a heated argument with her man that results in him putting her over his knee and spanking her ass. They kiss for a bit and then she goes down on him. She sits on his face and rides his tongue as he eats her pussy and ass and then she rides him cowgirl style. She blows him again and then rides him reverse cowgirl while he slaps her tits. They spoon fuck on the couch and then she pulls off of him and jerks him to a finish onto his stomach.

Scene Six - Dylan Ray And Scarlett Fay: Now out of rehab, Lindsay wants some affection from Sam. They make out on the couch and Dylan licks Scarlett's pussy and gives it a good fingering, cramming two digits in there and giving Scarlett a taste now and then. She pulls out a dildo and fucks her cunt with it for a few minutes, tonguing her asshole while she slips it in and out of her. Scarlet goes down on Dylan after that, fingering her too, working three fingers into her pussy.

Hustler has done a pretty good job here of making the non-sex scenes feel like an actual tabloid style entertainment bit that you might see on television. This makes the bits where people aren't actually fucking fun to watch, and you won't find yourself fast-forwarding through them as is so often the case. The humor works well, the cast all performer admirably and the sex is steamy enough to work making this intentionally goofy feature worth checking out.

The Video:

The movie is presented in a nice 1.78.1 anamorphic widescreen transfer that boasts good, lifelike color reproduction and strong detail levels throughout. There are some minor mpeg compression artifacts evident in a few of the scenes but aside from that the disc is well authored, meaning that there are no problems with edge enhancement or aliasing. Sometimes the colors look to have been intentionally muted a little bit, to give the movie a sort of old sitcom look, but once you get used to it you won't likely notice it and generally the picture does look very good here.

The Audio:

Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories - Lindsay Lohan sounds good in its English language Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo mix. The score, dialogue and 'sounds of sex' all come through loud and clear with nice channel separation and some fun directional effects. Bass response is tight and bouncy and the score in particular sounds very good. Levels are properly balanced and there are no problems with hiss or distortion to complain about. Overall, things sound great.

The Extras:

The only substantial extra on this release is a Behind The Scenes (22:23) featurette that starts by interviewing Scarlett and Dylan as they goof off on set. We then see them working on their scene together before moving on and interviewing all of the other cast members. It's kind of amusing to see Nicole cleaning up a load off of her chest and to see Scarlet playing with herself on set while watching some of her co-stars go at it only to help Sadie clean up once the scene is overwith.

Rounding out the extras is a slideshow, trailers for a few other Hustler titles, web-links, and well as animated menus and chapter selection.


A funny, trashy, tabloid style XXX feature, Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories - Lindsay Lohan is pretty enjoyable. The sex is plentiful and well shot, the cast look great and work well together, and the film exploits a subject well deserving of a good, solid poke in the eye. Recommended.

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