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Beverly Hills Wives


Studio: Cal Vista Classic » Review by The Mooninite » Review Date: 9/29/09



XCritic's Advice: Rent It

The Movie:

Amber's a writer who grew up in Beverly Hills and, since moving away and realizing that it's a different place than anywhere else in the world, has returned to her old stomping grounds to write a story about the promiscuous wives who live in the area. This means that mostly she just drives around in a sports car and delivers stilted dialogue in this dated 1985 camcorder epic from director Jack Remy. Here's a look:

After we watch Amber Lynn drive around for a few minutes we cut to a bedroom where Honey Wilder is in the middle of giving Herschel Savage, who looks pretty rad with a big moustache, a blowjob. He gets her on all fours in front of him and holds up a mirror so he can get a better look at the action as he fucks her doggy style and then they flip over and go at it spooning for a few. He fucks her missionary style and we get a good look at her fishnets and then he pops on her.

Cut back to Amber who, still in her car, is talking to a garden hand, David Cannon, about his career. He hops into the car with her and drive away and then we cut to Nikki Charm and Steve Drake making out in a wood paneled basement while some heavy sax music plays in the background. He sucks on her tits and then licks away at her cooze for a few before she pulls off his hot pink slacks and gives him head. She rides him cowgirl style and then reverse before he pulls out and squirts on her mound to finish the scene.

We then catch up with Amber Lynn, now out of her car and hanging out in a bedroom with David Cannon who complains to her about his hard luck getting work in Hollywood. He tells her 'you're my kind of lady' and she responds by taking off her clothes and showing off her red lingerie. He plays with her tits and eats her pussy and then she gives him a very professional looking blowjob. Amber knew what she was doing and it shows. She hops on top, still wearing her heels, to ride him cowgirl style and then he fucks her missionary style for a few minutes before flipping her over and taking her from behind and then spooning her. She finishes him off by sucking his cock until he comes.

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Meanwhile, Herschel Savage is yapping to his wife, Bridgette Monet, about cooks and hot dogs and other mundane things. She bitches him out and he decides to take a shower while she scoots out to go shopping. Amber's back in her car again and she takes David over to Bridgette Monet's place. She leaves him there after thanking him for the interview. It turns out that when the cat's away the mouse will play and with Herschel off doing God only knows what, Bridgette is only too happy to get down and dirty with David. He plays with her tits and then does a great job eating her snatch. She gives him head and rides him reverse cowgirl style before he gets her ankles to her ears and piledrives her. He fucks her doggy style and then missionary style and soon after that pulls out and drops a load on her pelvis.

While wife Bridgette was getting some extramarital action, so too was hubbie Hershel, who found comfort in the arms and legs of one Nikki Charm - after Honey Wilder's done being interviewed by Amber, that is. The girls yap it up and then we cut to Herschel's den where Nikki is very obviously in the mood. They make out and she strips and he goes down on her for a few minutes. She responds in kind and sucks his cock and then rides him cowgirl style before slipping onto her side for some spoon fucking action. She rides him reverse cowgirl style and he pulls out and jizzes all over the place.

So yeah, Amber Lynn was interviewing Honey earlier, right? That's gotta lead somewhere and it does when Steve Drake finds himself in the middle of two horny women. Actually he walks in on them after some serious lesbian lovemaking. The girls kiss and fondle each other, all dolled up in the finest that Frederick's Of Hollywood has to offer. Honey eats Amber's box and then Amber follows suit. Steve shows up with a bottle of champagne and the girls take turns sucking his prick. He fucks Amber doggy style and then gets Honey on her back for some of the old in out. Amber grabs his cock and sucks and jerks it all over her new friend to finish the scene and the feature.

How much you get out of this one will depend entirely on your tolerance for eighties fashions and hair. The girls all look pretty decent but they're definitely in period dress, so to speak, so expect a lot of hot neon colors and big poofy hair. The sex is fairly spirited if of the vanilla variety and the plot is pretty nonsensical but there's the Amber Lynn factor that helps offset a fair bit of that, making this worth checking out for fans of eighties era shot on video smut.

The DVD

Video:

This fullframe transfer, which appears to present the film in its original aspect ratio, looks about as good as an interlaced transfer of a movie shot with a camcorder can look. The picture quality, for an older XXX film from 1985 looks alright. There's the expected amount of softness inherent in the image you'd expect to see so detail is a bit fuzzy and sometimes there's some mild color bleeding but hey, this was shot on VHS, so you can't fault for it looking like, well, a VHS tape. There is a 'Copyright 2009 VCX' bug that appears on the video at the beginning and end of the feature.

Sound:

The Dolby Digital Mono soundtrack is a little muffled and not of the best quality, but again, it's taken from an older source so the limitations of the era's technology are going to be there when that's the case. Dialogue is pretty easy to understand, however, and the background music comes through reasonably clear. There aren't a lot of sound effects used in the film, mostly just some random moaning and groaning during the action scenes and these are handled just fine, as are the talkier bits of the movie. Surprisingly enough, this DVD also features a Spanish language dub. The dubbing doesn't always match the lips of the actors but more often than not it comes close. While you probably won't want to watch it this way (unless you only speak Spanish), it's cool to see it included here.

Extras:

Aside from some tacky animated menus, VCX has included four bonus scenes, the first of which is from Vista Balley PTA where two students, Richard Pacheco and Dorothy Lemay, are fooling around in the car. He sucks her great tits and then he eats her pussy and then she gives him head until he blows his load in her mouth. Late for class, they decide to not bother going back. The next bonus scene is from Sweet Throat and it features a foxy dark haired hottie making time with a lucky phone repair man who has shown up at just the right time to get himself a blowjob. Bonus scene number three is from Tower Of Power and in it Herschel Savage goes down on Annette Haven for a bit. From there he slips it into her and fucks her missionary style before pulling out and plopping a load on her. Goddamn but Annette Haven was gorgeous. The fourth and final scene is from Two @ Once and it stars Brigitte Lahaie, the prettiest woman in all of France in her prime, showing off her tits to some lucky dude in a car. He has a smoke and then goes down on her and she gives him head until he finishes in her mouth. VCX needs to release more of Brigitte's films!

Rounding out the extras are trailers for Trinity Brown, Dear Fanny, The Second Coming Of Eva and Practice Makes Perfect and , the Legendary Tribute montage of vintage adult movie clips as well as some animated menus, scene selection and a web-link.

Final Thoughts:

A moderately amusing eighties porno with a plot, Beverly Hills Wives won't tickle your cerebellum but if you're into Amber Lynn it just might tighten your pants enough that you don't mind so much. The A/V quality is nothing to write home about - this looks just like the shot on video tape movie that it is - but VCX's DVD is probably about as good as it's going to get any time soon. This is far from a classic but it's recommended for Amber Lynn devotees and an okay rental for everyone else.



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