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Not Monday Night Football XXX


Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 10/25/09



XCritic's Advice: Recommended




Not Monday Night Football XXX

X-Play Media/Hustler Video

Genre: Sitcum, Porn Parody


Director: Will Ryder

Cast: Britney Stevens, Tatum Pierce, Ashlyn Rae, Cindy Jones, Kris Slater, Jaelyn Fox, Delia Darling, Amia Miley, Layla Rivera, Eric John, Sarah Vandella, Jessica Bangkok, Ally Ann, Topanga Foxx, Scotty Lyons, Lela Star, Alyssa Reece, Yurizan Beltran, Mai Ly, Angelina Armani, Evan Stone

Non-sex roles: Thomas Ward, Sophie Dee, Laci Laine, Rick Madrid, Billy Goodrich, Lee Bang, Miles Long, Jose Membreno, Gordon M.


Length: 131:44 minutes

Dates of Production: 7/21/2009, 7/22/2009

Extras: Unlike some of the more elaborate sitcums the team has provided the world, this one had fewer extras. The first extra was a 23:07 minute long Behind the Scenes feature, showing the cast and crew hard at work, even including some added sex footage. Along with the second part of the BTS that lasted 23:42 minutes, this two part set provided a more generalized look at the making of the show rather than the usual style where Will and Scott break down the production into its component parts. They were followed by the part 1 BTS from Not Married With Children XXX hit, though it struck me as a waste to include that instead of dedicated extras for this show given the way so much footage was jam packed onto the single disc release. There was then a photogallery, a clip replaying the DVD intro, and five trailers.


-- sponsored by --

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Not Monday Night Football XXX was presented in a crisp, anamorphic widescreen using a 1.78:1 ratio as shot by director Will Ryder for X-Play Media. The resolution was 480i on the SD version of the movie and the codec employed was the usual MPEG-2. The bitrate on the feature tended to hover around the 3.7 Mbps mark when I spot checked it, the "Kmart" lighting allowing for all the proper body equipment to be seen in motion easily but also mirror the look of the show itself. One of the things many directors have trouble with is properly lighting sitcums or features, especially when they are going to be compared to mainstream projects such as this one, but this was not an issue this time, Tim Studley's lighting making it easier to shoot the scenes. There were very few visual elements that were not very much in tune with making the movie look mainstream and the DVD appeared to handle them very well. Scott David as Art Director and Co-Producer again elevated the title substantially, providing the proper counterbalance to Ryder's dedicated visions of the shows. The editing by Mark "Nick" Dawop at Copper Digital (AKA: "the sixth floor guy" who also handled a variety of other technical aspects on the movie) was as solid as ever, the end result in a class by itself. The audio was presented in the usual 2.0 Dolby Digital English using a 192 Kbps audio bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate. The vocals were decently recorded with few moments sounding like they were dubbed or otherwise looped. The theme song invoked memories of the mainstream hit too though it was completely different, adding to the fun.

Britney Stevens, Tatum Pierce, Ashlyn Rae, Cindy Jones

Body of Review: Will Ryder & Scott David have been the inspiration for an entire wave of sitcum porn parodies with their work at X-Play Media, some critics suggesting that this might be the last big push for the industry before it collapses in on itself due to the pressures of piracy and the economy. The duo have certainly revitalized the industry by going back to the roots of porn and revisiting the parody market so firmly established decades ago in porn but their trademark ability to make dedicated titles that are actually funny on top of sexy are what really set them apart. Their latest outing was a much smaller venture than their recent hits, a title called Not Monday Night Football XXX. This time, the gurus of sitcums take on an American pastime, football, and pay homage to the long running series on the ABC network. Let me be up front to tell you that I have about as much knowledge of football as most people in porn are versed in macro economics but I anticipated the show to transcend the target and entertain, much like previous company efforts have done in the past. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

 Jaelyn Fox, Delia Darling, Amia Miley, Layla Rivera

Scene One: Britney Stevens, Tatum Pierce, Ashlyn Rae, Cindy Jones, and Kris Slater, were up first as the quintet had the kind of tailgating party that would appeal even to a non-football loving type of guy like myself. The lean and sexy babes were half dressed and all over him as they took turns slobbing his knob, pairing off to eat pussy and actively ride his pecker on the familiar lawn setting. There was a lot of fake porn moaning but the sum total of the bone-a-thon led to a believable wad of genetic juice launched their way as the ladies took what he offered to share together.

Sarah Vandella, Jessica Bangkok, Ally Ann, Topanga Foxx

Scene Two: Jaelyn Fox, Delia Darling, Amia Miley, Layla Rivera, and Eric John, were up next in a cheerleader scene reminiscent of the kind of playful antics found in a great many Jim Holliday fuck flicks. I had hoped sexy Sarah Vandella would have joined in with them since she was one of the highlights of the show but I patiently waited for the next scene to see her in action, the locker room tryst including a lot of lesbian antics even if there wasn't enough cock to go around. Cheerleader outfits on young, nubile bodies always work for me and while the inexperienced gals posed a lot too much and looked at the camera, they did work his dick very well orally and the vaginal sex while keeping their smiling faces engaged in pussy when not inhaling his meat pipe. There was some toy use this time too, the ending facial not shared as effectively.

 Lela Star, Alyssa Reece, Yurizan Beltran, and Mai Ly

Scene Three: Sarah Vandella, Jessica Bangkok, Ally Ann, Topanga Foxx, and moper Scotty Lyons, were up next in an impromptu game room tryst where the referees were going crazy sharing the sideline reporter. Sarah initially took care of his bone as her own but ended up sharing it with her friends, the ladies well versed in going down on each other as well. The majority of the scene included oral sex as the dominant act though, the vaginal bout of boning shown as somewhat passive in most positions. With the gals all adding in a wealth of dirty talk, the scene eventually ended with a load of population pudding going to their faces as they knelt before him, a minimal nut milked out mostly by lovely Sarah even as the others assisted her.

Angelina Armani

Scene Four: Lela Star, Alyssa Reece, Yurizan Beltran, and Mai Ly, were then up in a lesbian lick-fest where the ladies portrayed typical gals that did not understand why their husbands and boyfriends were so into football. Unlike the previous scenes though, this one had no male presence so it was limited to licking and caressing, the gals pairing off and using toys on each other as a result. The generic couch setting lacked inspiration but each of them was young and cute, Lela taking charge of them from the looks of things. I like lesbian pairings but this one was not the best I've seen in a sitcum, the energy, enthusiasm, and chemistry a bit on the light side.

Media accolades for AVN, Tony Batman, and others with influence

Scene Five: Angelina Armani, the cutie featured on the lower right hand corner of the front cover, was up last with the Mighty Evan Stone, the guy playing Joe Namath and Angelina his flavor of the month gal pal. The unlikely ending score mentioned aside, they cut to the chase quickly, the lean gal pulling out his large dick to start blowing it. Her oral skills appeared to be as solid as ever, the gal sitting on his face as he reciprocated. They then screwed vaginally in several positions, the booth a bit crowded for as active a ride as this one. Angelina did some taste testing and this was probably her best scene to date for me, the precious hotty finally coming into her own even before he launched his load upon her face and she provided some post coital head.

Summary: Not Monday Night Football XXX by director Will Ryder for X-Play was not in the mega-hit class of their last several works but it had enough of the same fun factor, heated sexual misconduct, and superb casting to merit a rating of Recommended. There was never any doubt in my mind that the director had a soft spot for the popular football show and took full advantage of it with the limited time he had to work with, the emphasis on group sex making Angelina Armani's scene with the Mighty Evan Stone stand out all the more as a result. In short, Not Monday Night Football XXX might play even better for those of you that also like the sport or want to see comedic nods to Howard Cosell, John Madden, and Bill Cosby but even as a regular stroke flick, it was a cut above average for me. For the record, Thomas Ward, Billy Goodrich, and Rick Madrid had some of the best non-sex roles I've seen in a sitcum to date, each nailing their respective character closely enough that even I recognized them.


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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon



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