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This Ain't Saved By The Bell

Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 10/26/09

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

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This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX

Hustler Video

Genre: Sitcum, Porn Parody

The Ladies

Director: Axel Braun

Writer: Roger Krypton

Cast: Nicole Ray, Ralph Long, Missy Stone, April O'Neal, Ally Ann, Mikey Butders, Eric John, Misty Stone, Ashlyn Rae, Scott Stone
Non-sex roles by: Saffron Falls, Ero Sennin, Gracie Glam, Kris Slater, Tony DeSergio

The Blooper Reel

Length: 113:39 minutes

Date of Production: 8/7/2009

Extras: The first listed extra was a 5:07 minute long Blooper Reel where the cast flubbed their lines. Then came some spam, a slide show, six Hustler trailers, and a 30:27 minute long Behind the Scenes where cast and crew seemed to be working long days to enhance the final product. Last came two unrelated bonus scenes from Your Ass Is Mine and Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay Lohan; the scenes described below in more detail.

Director Axel Braun

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX was presented in a colorful 1.78:1 ratio, anamorphic widescreen, offering as shot by director Axel Braun for Hustler Video using the 480p resolution and MPEG-2 codec typical of standard definition projects. The initial reaction I had was to appreciate how much more time Hustler spent on making this one look something like the original show, showing they are listening, their efforts getting better all the time. The pornified sets were better than average for this type of show, the lower budgets and time constrictions not as damaging to a sitcum styled parody. The editing wasn't as strong as the best genre efforts but Claudia Ross joined Axel to transform the raw footage nicely enough. The standard definition version of the flick had a few compression artifacts, only a bit of noise & edge enhancement, and proper lighting to assist in making the movie look more like the original, the show greatly benefitting from the participation of comedian Roger Krypton in a behind the scenes capacity as writer (of the script and presumably the opening song I enjoyed so much). In short, in terms of the visual esthetics, this title was another parody done reasonably right, providing various double entendres but not goofing on the show as I thought it would. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 192 Kbps audio bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate, the score close enough to provide an aural experience in line with the low budget original series. The vocals were clear and crisp here, showing an attempt to mimic the original show so many people enjoyed years ago, Drew Rose providing the original music.

The Credits

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: Hustler Video has been a major force in the sitcum market this year, not only distributing the best of them but making some that are increasingly entertaining on their own too. Part of the reason for this success is due to directors like Axel Braun, his lengthy career in directing all sorts of porn helping him step up to the plate time and again to provide modestly successful parodies, his latest making it my way being This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX. If you're familiar with the original show, it featured a know-it-all punk (who would undoubtedly grow up to become a porn reviewer) named Zack that was always getting into trouble in high school. As the NBC series continued, other characters would get more screen time to make it more of an ensemble effort but even the TV movies always seemed to focus on his antics as the catalyst of change while driving his friends and Principle Belding crazy. The movie was not as focused an effort as I've seen from the crew but the cast all seemed fitting in their roles, some of them coming across as very suitable in terms of looks and/or mannerisms compared to the originals in that pornified sense that Hustler always seems to shoot for. I won't spoil the comedy or plot of the show but suffice it to say, it was more than just a generic fuck flick and it paid a nice tribute to the original without mocking it. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Nicole Ray

Scene One: Nicole Ray, a sexy little gal that looked barely out of high school, was up first before the credits rolled, showering in an expansive school shower. There were suds and that hot glistening body look, the gal drying off to find moper Ralph Long standing at attention stalking her. She immediately went over and started slobbing his knob, the scene done in POV fashion to keep his identity secret. She did all the work here and he rewarded her with a small nut of genetic juice to her face, the gal applying some hand to gland combat on top of her oral efforts. It was short and sweet but had little chemistry to it, the delightful theme song and opening graphics following.

April O'Neal and Missy Stone

Scene Two: Missy Stone, the sexy hotty featured on the left side of the front cover, was up next in a lesbian tryst with geeky April O'Neal, the two making posters to "save the dolphins" in a modern classroom. As "Jessie" (the tall gal in the original series that wowed fans in her stripper movie), she was the dominant one with the ladies painting each other and providing oral comfort, their clothes revealing some sweet titties and asses to adore. Missy has been very well received in sitcums this year too, her sexual prowess barely tested this time as she ate out her new pal and used a single toy on her.

Ally Ann with Mikey Butders

Scene Three: Ally Ann, playing a slutty (and largely disposable) blond, was up next with muscular "Slater"(Mikey Butders), going down on him in the locker area after "Zack" dropped out from loyalty to Kelly. Ally was playful and orally attentive, Mikey thrusting into her throat to assist her efforts. The couple continued until she sat on his modest cock on the short set of stairs, actively bouncing while providing some porn moans. A few positions later, he rubbed out a wad of population pudding to her mouth but they were interrupted by the principle so it struck me as too quickly over.

Nicole Ray with Eric John

Scene Four: Nicole Ray, the cute blond from scene one, was up again as a cheerleader under the desk of Principle Belding (Eric John), his comments about her age used to satisfy the squeamish given the concept. The interruption showed Eric to be a bit wooden in his acting but in fairness, the original character was that way a lot in the series too. The guys leaving his office led to him going down on Nicole, her tasty young pussy looking really sweet, but this didn't last long since both of them wanted to vaginally bone. He did most of the work and she passively took it, adding in some over the top moans along the way. Thankfully, she did put some pep in her step before the scene ended, even milking his nut with her hand to give herself a facial.

Misty Stone with Ralph Long

Scene Five: Misty Stone, the hot black gal seen on the right side of the front cover, was up next as "Lisa" as she took care of "Screech" (Ralph Long) in bed. Misty has been gaining a much higher profile for her work in sitcums and other comedies of late, her character seemingly tossed in as an afterthought this time (for the most part), one of the issues with any ensemble cast member not featured. Her flimsy blue dress and purple underwear were not the most complimentary but the hotty looked good and Ralph was not entirely lame in his role here, the gal providing him with a short blowjob before the couple vaginally screwed. She was impressed with his size so she gave him a pass on his lack of football team credentials, the best position for her being the cowgirl where her perfect ass was highlighted so very well. She became an active rider and their sweat covered bodies looked good together, the gal taking the facial at the end with a smile.

Ashlyn Rae with Scott Stone

Scene Six: Ashlyn Rae, the hotty on the center of the front cover (playing "Kelly"), was up last as she got ready for the dance at the cafeteria table, the gal dropping to her knees to blow "Zack" (Scott Stone). She maintained eye contact and savored the experience, her lithe young body looking the part of her role. I would have enjoyed it more if he went down on her but she looked close enough to the original actress (Tiffani Thiessen) that I could overlook it, the gal actively riding once on top of his lap. Her shaved snatch didn't hurt the look either though his smallish load didn't seem quite right.

Bonus Scene: Your Ass Is Mine: Missy Stone, the sexy babe featured on the front cover, was up next on the white couch with Mick Blue, some of the questions asked of her appearing to make her feel uncomfortable. She was wearing the same plaid outfit as on the cover, Missy joking about age (and picking the perfect age as her limit by the way, just ask Anton) as Mick concentrated on removing her panties. He juiced her up with his hand and she seemed responsive to his attentive touch, her juices freely flowing as he continued and the two kissed some more. They appeared to have chemistry despite the age difference, and she gave him some eye contact while slobbing his knob, bouncing back & forth between the camera and Mick from what I could see. This led to her actively riding his pecker vaginally, the ensuing anal slowing her down substantially but not altogether in what amounted to the best scene of the entire movie. It wasn't great and she could have torn into the cock more passionately but Missy earned her spot on the front cover all the same.

Bonus Scene: Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay Lohan: After an interview with Sam (Dylan Ryan), Lindsay's girlfriend, and a studio executive we cut to a poolside where Scarlett and Nicole Ray get into a catfight. The studio exec (Chris Charming) calms Nicole down by taking her inside and licking her pussy. She gets into it and returns the oral favor as he fingers her before flipping her over and spoon fucking her. She breaks periodically to suck his prick and then she rides him reverse cowgirl style and regular old cowgirl style. She sucks him and then gets on her knees in front of him so that he can come into her mouth. (review by The Mooninite)

Summary: This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX by director Axel Braun for Hustler Video was not the most expansive sitcum to be released of late but the graphics, styles, and casting was not half bad, a few of the performers probably doing a better job should a sequel be merited so I rated it as Recommended. There was enough strokable fuck for the buck and replay value to reminisce about the slutty gals that populated the original series (look at the movies they made afterwards for examples) in this pornified version, the sitcum serving as a tribute to the original better than Hustler is known for. In short, This Ain't Saved By The Bell XXX was another step for the company to improve their efforts in the sitcum craze, not exactly a genius effort but certainly within the ballpark compared to other releases in the genre.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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