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Crack Pack, The

Studio: Adam & Eve » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/10/09

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

The Crack Pack

Adam & Eve

Genre: Feature

Director: Joe Gallant

Cast: Bree Olson, Alexis Texas, Jack Vegas, Andi Anderson, Sara Stone, Dino Bravo, Kirra Lynne, Tyler Knight
Non-sex role: Ron Jeremy, Louisa Lanewood, Debi Diamond

Length: 166:52 minutes

Bree Olson and Alexis Texas

Date of Production: 2009

Extras: All of the extras were located on the second disc, the first containing a longer than usual flick by the company. In order, there was a bonus reel of Bree Olson footage lasting 8:45 minutes, additional material from the editing room with a bit of commentary from the gal as the director slyly goofed on her. Then came a 23:06 minute long reel of strip club performances that had been edited for the feature, this time losing the special effects that so weakened their inclusion in the movie itself (basically, making better use of Bree and others as the orchestra played behind them). That was followed by a 5:23 minute "Rat Pack" routine starring Tyler Knight, Dino Bravo, and Jack Vegas imitating the Las Vegas legends fairly well for a rough attempt. The 15:28 minute long Behind the Scenes feature was actually pretty good too, explaining some of the more obscure aspects of what the director was going for and the cast showing their youth at the same time. Then came the longer version of Ron Jeremy going down on Andi Anderson on the stage (from scene #2 below) and giving her some cock vaginally, her blowjob showing off her talents. There was a photogallery and then a bonus scene lasting 8:30 minutes from "Young Hollywood" as described below, a slipcase rounding it all out to cover the DVD case.

Condoms: None

Andi Anderson

-- sponsored by --

Audio/Video Quality: The Crack Pack was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen color as shot by director Joe Gallant for Adam & Eve to be released in this MPEG-2, 480 resolution offering. In keeping with Joe's limited and older body of work that I'm familiar with, the visuals showed how the man is still obsessed with a grainy and raw texture to his works, the plotted points particularly rough looking. There was also minor mosquito noise, the lighting used to invoke a mood more than look like a standard porno; the skin tones too saturated to look their best. The soft focus did not bother me too much even if the video bitrate hovering around 5.6 Mbps and could have been higher (thankfully, the extensive extras were pushed onto a second disc). The skin tones were slightly off in that respect but the action clear to see, making it a better looking show than some of the past efforts by the company though certainly not their best in recent years. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English stereo, the 192 Kbps audio bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate generic as could be. The moody background music in some portions of the movie was well done though the vocals seemed cookie cutter basic with no separation (the dynamic range minimal).

Sara Stone

Body of Review: Joe Gallant was once sold to me as a potentially great "alt-porn" director by a friend, my eyes rolling back as if to communicate my time weary message that the only thing truly "alt" about most such efforts was how alternately lame the excuses were when it came time to explain to the masses for the emperor wore no clothes. Seriously though, whatever vision most such folks tried to pass off as artistic was merely obscure and cliquish to the point where it was eventually claimed to be made for folks that don't jerk off to porn. So in terms of the porn people couldn't stroke off too, Joe actually fell short because some of his work was actually pretty solid, my hopes that his latest release by Adam & Eve also falls into that category. The name of the fuck flick is The Crack Pack, a feature starring lovely Bree Olson looking spectacular on the front cover. There were five scenes altogether, two featuring Bree, and I won't bore you with the details because that might ruin the fun for those wanting to see the actual plotted points presented here instead of the sex alone. For those two that want such detailed information, by all means seek it out elsewhere from one of the fanboys but don't blame me if you are left hanging by their reviews too. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Kirra Lynne

Scene One: Bree Olson, looking especially sexy in a maid outfit, was up first as she peeped on curvy Alexis Texas while the gal from my home state sucked off moper Jack Vegas. As Bree rubbed one out, he tied up Alexis and invited Bree to join him, stripping as the guy jerked himself off. The tease was not captured very well but Bree's personality shone through and it wasn't long before the ladies were doing each other as well as sharing his cock orally. I liked Alexis' ass cheeks rippling so nicely as Bree fingered her and Bree was an active vaginal rider as she ate her friend's pussy, Bree eventually doing some taste testing and receiving his wad of genetic juice orally for sharing with Alexis. The chemistry was best between the ladies and the use of such a fourth tier male weakened the scene but it was worth watching all the same.

Bree Olson

Scene Two: Andi Anderson, a curvy blond with big lips, was up next in the back room where Ron Jeremy gave her a few licks by the stripper pole before Jack Vegas took over. Once again, the weakness of the male watered down the heat of the scene but she proved to be a decent stripper during the tease and an active cock sucker afterwards. His pecker was small enough for her to handle with ease and she was far more orally inclined than he was, the vaginal pounding taking place as she provided a stream of dirty talk and taste testing before the anal action began. Andi slowed down during this portion of the scene but it was all she needed to milk his balls dry of the few drops of population pudding that came out, the facial ending things for the moment.

Scene Three: Sara Stone, a thick gal with large breasts, was up next as the protégé of Dino Bravo, the guy putting on his best sitcum moves in a short montage where they got to know each other out of the bedroom. The exercise allowed him to see her "rack like an elk in heat" bouncing around, the couple next showing how cock friendly her tits were as she used them to give him a titty fuck. As fluffy as her tits were, they were no match for her mouth and pussy, the gal actively impaling herself on his rod as he groped her on the couch. Her thick ass looked good in motion too but this was another relatively tame bout of vaginal boning, the oral intermittent before she enjoyed his facial.

Scene Four: Kirra Lynne, a bleach blond with a gap-tooth smile, was up next as she auditioned for an opportunity of the lifetime, wearing black lingerie as she enticed Tyler Knight on a red couch. The lighting was poor here, even worse than the rest of the sex scenes of the movie, but she wasn't that lame performance-wise with the oral and vaginal encounter. The lap dance led to both giving each other head and an active vaginal ride, the anal that followed not as appealing. It did look better by the time the music stopped and they were on the bed though so that helped keep it from sinking the project altogether, her round rump worth a look if nothing else. The scene ended when he rubbed out a wad of spew to her ass cheeks and she shook them all about.

Scene Five: Bree Olson, looking sexy out by the pool skinny dipping, was up next as she went inside with Dino Bravo for him to massage her all over. He used his hands and mouth before they went down on each other in turns. This was followed by an active vaginal ride by Bree as his pecker pounded her pussy and her finger went into her ass, a few more vaginal positions leading to Bree showing a need for seed and sucking him dry.

Bonus Scene: Young Hollywood: Mandy Morbid and Lystra Meadows, two lovely lesbians prance around outside sporting some sexy lingerie before they start playing with one another's breasts. They kiss and then start to go down on each other and then head inside for more of the same. They use a dildo and then one of those weird vibrating egg things you see in porn a lot but rarely seem to encounter in real life. The gals bust out the strap on and give that a try and end this particularly fun and pants tightening scene with some lovely girl-girl deep kissing. Yummy! (review by The Mooninite)

Summary: The Crack Pack by director Joe Gallant for Adam & Eve looked like it was an attempt to capture a parody type of approach on a dime sized budget, the concept taken from the "Rat Pack" of long ago updated for a modern sensibility. It really did not work all that well for me though and the sexual performances seemed quite uneven, the lack of personal chemistry the most difficult thing missing this time so I rated it as a Rent It. In short, The Crack Pack showed glimmers of ability and entertainment at times but not as consistently as would be needed to make this the type of show I would suggest picking up sight unseen so give it a look first and consider it as enhanced by the second disc of extras, Joe showing he might still be able to entertain the masses if given a bigger budget and more time to polish the rough edges.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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