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Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Angelina Vs Jennifer

Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/28/09

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Angelina Vs Jennifer

Hustler Video

Genre: Parody

Director: Stuart Canterbury

Cast: Sadie West, Dick Chibbles, Riley Evans, Eric John, Ally Ann, Chris Johnson, Rachel Roxxx, Rocco Reed
Non-sex roles: Lynne Cone, Angelita Purrvertina, Greek, Jeff Winters, Girl 1

Length: 105:09 minutes

Date of Production: 2009

Extras: There was a 9:44 minute long Behind the Scenes feature introducing the characters, some trailers, some spam that can be skipped, and a photogallery. This was Rachel's first speaking role according to her and it showed but it also showed some potential on her part for doing better with a bit more experience.

Sadie West with Dick Chibbles

-- sponsored by --

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Angelina Vs Jennifer was presented in a fetching 1.78:1 widescreen color by director Stuart Canterbury for Hustler Video using the AVC codec; a standard on Blu-Ray discs; the standard definition version in MPEG-2 with the usual 480p resolution compared to the 1080i resolution of the high definition version, partially made up for by the SD's anamorphic nature). My knowledge of the SD version of the title allows me to compare the two; it lacked the better resolution and purity of fleshtones this version had, the bitrate often hovering around 20.1 Mbps area compared to less than a fourth of that in the SD version which seemed to hover around the 4.9 Mbps mark. The use of video bothers some folks but it suited the nature of the show far more than film would have and the contrasts were all enhanced by the high definition approach. There were no obvious compression artifacts, no grain to speak of, and I saw no macro-blocking or other issues that pop up; thanks in no small part to the proper lighting applied here in most cases. The summation of the visuals is that they made the show look better than ever, my sole complaint being that the composition of the camera angles and editing, while respectable, did not seem to be the best way to enhance the looks of some of the ladies and/or make them look more like the roles they were playing. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital stereo English using a 224 Kbps bitrate at 48 kHz in both versions. The vocals on the scenes were flat and even in most cases, the voice-overs sounding somewhat warmer in tone and always easier to hear, and the minimal music seemed to come from the stock library used for years by the series. In terms of upgrades then, the visuals got the largest boost by a wide margin with the aural capabilities once again cleaned up but only slightly.

Riley Evans

Body of Review: Stuart Canterbury has directed porn features for years to varying degrees of success, his latest work for Hustler Video in their parodies blitz showing more than a little glimmer of hope that he will be one of the last men standing in the field. The title is Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Angelina Vs Jennifer, the company posting all sorts of disclaimers that the material is all fictional and the usual "stay out of court" crap. This is the fourth in the line of Hollywood rumor/gossip titles focusing on unsubstantiated (or completely made up) claims about starlets, in this case not settling for one gal but two in the form of Sadie West as Angelina Jolie and Rachel Roxxx as Jennifer Aniston, neither truly filling the role enough to win added points from this reviewer. For the record, Brad Pitt broke up with long time girlfriend Jennifer to marry Angelina, fueling a wide variety of yellow journalism tabloid stories, this version of events just making the most of whatever matchbook a few lines were scribbled on before the shoot took place. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Ally Ann with Chris Johnson

Scene One: Angelina's Past: Sadie West, the sexy brunette babe featured on the right side of the front cover, was up first with Dick "Billy Bob Thornton" Chibbles, who dressed as a very "bad Santa" in need of punishment. She was dressed up in black dominatrix attire and brandishing a whip against him, her fantasy making use of the character Billy played in a funny movie. She flogged him and he ate her out, Dick doing a modest job considering how many scenes he has claimed to be in (an absurd amount according to his bragging in the BTS, the reality far smaller according to sources like the IMDB), fingering the over the top performer as he made fun of her. While neither of them looked or acted like their mainstream counterpart, it was a cute scenario all the same, the staircase tryst allowing her to aggressively slob his knob without any chemistry getting in the way. The vaginal pounding taking place after that was on the passive side for her, the ending milking of his genetic juice for the facial much more interesting.

Sadie West and Rachel Roxxx

Scene Two: Angelina's Family: Riley Evans, a curvy blond in camouflage clothing, then assisted Eric "Jon Voight" John as he got into character in a sunny field, the two making out and kissing before she dropped to her knees to blow him. Unlike the previous scene, Riley appeared to enjoy jumping on his bone orally, savoring the pecker as she applied some hand to gland action to the act. The decent hummer then led to a titty fuck and Eric eating her pussy out, the couple bumping uglies in several vaginal positions during her active riding style. The camerawork sucked as if a newcomer manned it most of the time (the editor forced to leave the footage intact given the lack of angles), but the lighting was pretty solid most of the time and that helped make it better. Riley willingly took the ending facial just fine too, spitting his population pudding on her breasts to close it out.

Rachel Roxxx with Rocco Reed

Scene Three: Brad's Secrets: Ally "Groupie" Ann, a skinny blond with a short skirt and major attitude, was up next out by the secluded pool as she bared it all to work with Chris "Brad Pitt" Johnson. There was no introduction here, merely a quick edit to her sucking him off after jumping the fence, but she portrayed the groupie role well enough given the manner in which she inhaled his cock orally. There were streamers and she kept looking at the camera, the gal probably looking more like her specific character than any of the others. The hummer led to him going down on her with the same "amateur" camerawork provided elsewhere in the show, the two trying several vaginal positions before he unleashed his seed onto her face. The chemistry was modest at best but the heat generated wasn't too bad considering, the gal led away in handcuffs since he really was "the pitts".

Scene Four: Hate Turns To Fucking: Rachel "Jennifer Aniston" Roxxx, the cute gal featured on the left hand side of the front cover, was up next in a lesbian scene with Sadie "Angelina" West, the pair on the red carpet as they ate each other's carpets. The catfight aspect was minimal and mostly a heated verbal exchange, their cover dresses not offering a lot of resistance to the poking and prodding that ensued. It ended in a mutual masturbation sequence, the onlookers never interfering as they would in real life. It had little chemistry but the performances were among the best of the movie, especially in blu-ray.

Scene Five: The End of the Story: Rachel Roxxx, being interviewed on the bed about the previous incident, was wearing sexy lingerie (pink and black) as Rocco "Vince Vaughn" Reed, walked in to interrupt. One thing led to another and she decided it was important to prove how happy she was with the outcome of her dispute, sucking him off before he reciprocated gingerly. That didn't last long so they vaginally screwed, her most active position being the cowgirl variations (even if I enjoyed the doggy a bit more visually). The ending wad of spew was jerked off to her tits, some post coital sucking ending it all with a decent note.

Summary: Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Angelina Vs Jennifer by director Stuart Canterbury for Hustler Video was nothing exceptionally out of the ordinary, the storyline a fictional account of the social lives of various Hollywood types done by those so unlike them in any way. The sex itself was often warm enough to rub one out but lacked the replay value, even the high definition Blu-ray version providing a better look but no upgrade in the action or extras so I rated it as a Rent It. In short, if you are a fan of the previous volumes of the series or have become a slavering fanboy of the lead performers here, Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Angelina Vs Jennifer might well be worth picking up a copy of but as far as this reviewer is concerned, it just didn't make the cut as a parody.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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