Filled with American actors masquerading under French pseudonyms like Nicole Bardot, Valerie Blue and Jean Petit, and directed by one Francois Bedoin, an obviously phony name if ever there were one, French Schoolgirls is about as French as the bastard love child of Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin. Obviously made in an attempt to cash in on the popular European sex films that were drifting into theaters in Times Square from overseas, the film is obviously as American as mom and apple pie.
When the movie begins, two all American girls are in bed talking about what their sexual fantasies are. They go back and forth and won't admit to much until one girl says she craves a fourteen inch cock. Cue an insert, probably culled from an old, previously shot loop, of a scrawny looking brunette going down on the massive member of the late John Curtis Holmes. Bad instrumental music tries to mask the post dubbed moaning (which doesn't even come close to matching Holmes voice) and then she rides him cowgirl style. Note the classy nude pin up posters on the wall. Johnny boy flips her over and our humble narrator talks about how she wants a fourteen inch cock to get inside her, doggy style. John does just that as her New Yawk accent becomes more obvious. John bones her missionary style one last time and then blows his Johnny Wadd across her belly.
Cut back to the bed room where the other girl talks about how she's really into sailors. That's right, sailors. She digs sailors. Cue another insert, again likely from a loop, as we see a woman walk past a subway stop where a sailor has emerged just in time to help her with her dropped groceries. They head back to her place where this foxy blonde sucks him down to the short 'n' curlies and then rides him reverse cowgirl style for a few. Another sailor comes into the room, from where we don't really know, and she blows him while taking it doggy style from dude number one. After that she gets DP'd, a rarity for the time, and winds up with some jizz all over her ass. This segues inexplicably to another couple in bed. The girl blows the guy and they move into a sixty-nine. He mounts her and fucks her missionary style and blows his load across her hairy bush as the same guy who previously dubbed Holmes makes more unconvincing sound effects.
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The girls chat some more and we cut very awkwardly to a blonde and a brunette in bed together, au natural. They put baby powder over one another and then play the titty sucking game. Blondie goes down on Brunettie (Tina Russell) first, and then they move into a pretty convincing sixty-nine and eat one another like they mean it. They finish up with a bit of scissor fucking and then a guy with a moustache comes in and gets in on the action. The girls blow him and sit on his face and then take turns riding him.
Meanwhile, back in bed, our French schoolgirl narrators lead us into another scene where a skinny girl is in a bedroom by herself. She fingers herself a bit and then fucks the action end of a hairbrush for a bit. A guy in cow print pants walks in on her in mid fuck and decides to take over where she left off. They hit the sheets and he eats her treat and then she gobbles his meat, never missing a beat. She rides him, cowgirl and reverse, and he finishes. Cutback to the narrators, who are smoking in bed. That's dangerous and often times will start fires. This next fantasy isn't really all that kinky, unless you have a sideburn fetish (and if you don't, you should). A hairy guy hops on top of a cute blonde gal in a blue skirt and they fuck, missionary and then cowgirl. It's not that inventive but it is quite sweaty, you know, for all you sweat fiends out there. Hairy and sweaty, yep.
As the girls decide to go to sleep, they dream of an orgy in which Tina Russell sucks the dick of very young Harry Reems while two other guys fuck two other girls. Harry finishes in Tina's mouth, and you can't really blame him cause she was a stone cold fox, while the other two lob jizz wads at their respective partners.
This fullframe transfer, which appears to present the film in its original aspect ratio, looks a bit washed out but is otherwise not bad. The picture, like all of VCX's transfers, is interlaced but print damage, dirt and debris are never overly problematic despite some instances of heavy grain. This looks like it was shot on 16mm judging by the grain structure and integrity of the image and for a film made in 1973, this isn't a bad presentation at all. There are some really minor instances of macroblocking if you put this under a microscope and look for defects but if you're not watching for such digital anomalies, you probably won't even notice them.
The Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound soundtrack is a little muffled and not of the best quality, but again, it's taken from an older source so the limitations of the era's technology are going to be there when that's the case. Dialogue is pretty easy to understand, however, and the background music comes through reasonably clear. There aren't a lot of sound effects used in the film, mostly just some random moaning and groaning during the action scenes and these are handled just fine, as are the talkier bits of the movie. There's very little surround activity here, it's a front heavy mix that doesn't sound too far off from an old Mono track, but 5.1 is what it says on the packaging, on the receiver, and on PowerDVD so 5.1 it is.
Aside from some tacky animated menus, VCX has included four bonus scenes, the first of which is from Private Moments (6:10) and in it Peter North fucks a brunette in the bathroom of a fancy restaurant while all their friends wait outside. The second clip is from Beverly Hills Wives (13:51) that features Amber Lynn hanging out in a bedroom with David Cannon. He plays with her tits and eats her pussy and then she gives him a very professional looking blowjob. Amber knew what she was doing and it shows. She hops on top, still wearing her heels, to ride him cowgirl style and then he fucks her missionary style for a few minutes before flipping her over and taking her from behind and then spooning her. She finishes him off by sucking his cock until he comes. The third clips is from Take Me Down (7:11) and it stars the eternally gorgeous Brigitte Lahiae in a scene where she makes out with some curly haired guy, blows him, and then gets her box munched. They sixty-nine and he fucks her doggy style and then shoots his goop onto the small of her back. The last clip is from Tower Of Power (8:55) and it features Annette Haven and Herschel Savage. He sucks her tits and then goes down on her before fucking her missionary style on the couch.
Rounding out the extras are trailers for Shared With Strangers, Vista Valley PTA, Swedish Sorority Girls, and Visions Of Clair , and the Legendary Tribute montage of vintage adult movie clips as well as some animated menus.
French Schoolgirls is interesting in that it's got three of the decades finest in semi-prominent roles and because it appears to have been spliced together from previously existing loops in an attempt to pass the film off as something new. On top of that, the attempt to make it a 'French' feature, something which fails miserably, adds some unintentional comedic value to the presentation. Vintage smut buffs ought to enjoy this one. It's not exactly good on the same level that, say, some of Damiano's films were, but it's a fun time killer an interesting time capsule. Recommended for fans of the era.