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Secretary's Day

Studio: Smash Pictures » Review by Dr. Jay » Review Date: 1/27/10

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Genre: Feature
Director: Zak Wylde
Cast: Alektra Blue, Erik Everhard, James Deen, Jordana James, Lindsey Meadows, Mark Wood, Mr. Pete, Pat Myne, Samantha Sin, Steve Holmes, Talon, Tory Lane.
Length: 02:08
Condoms: None.
Bonus: One bonus star for condom-free sex.


"Mr. Wylde" is a raging, arrogant, and quite incompetent boss who presides over an office full of insatiably horny women--including his daughter--who think nothing of fucking the delivery boys, new hires, potential employees, and any other dick that happens to walk through their doors. In fact, the company's "benefits package" even contains free fucks for the male employees!

The girls, initially dressed in conservative business attire and glasses, are really hot and sexy. I particularly enjoyed the performances by Tory Lane, one of my Must-See Girls of 2007 (Click here), and Lindsay Meadows (the cover girl). These two girls are not only dick-stiffeningly beautiful, but they're also absolutely superb sexual performers, too. So, even though this movie has a few technical problems (see the DVD Perspectives section below), Secretary's Day is definitely worth a look.

As you might expect from its name, Secretary's Day is set in an office and involves Mr. Wylde, the boss, as well as his employees, potential hires, and delivery boys. The boss is a truly incompetent fellow who is always running around the office yelling at people or taking perverse delight in making people wait to see him. Comically, we never see any part of the boss except the back of his head! Thankfully, we get to see much more of his employees!

Although the plot is kind of funny in a slapstick sort of way, most of the acting (especially by the boss) leaves a great deal to be desired. So, you might want to make use of Smash Pictures' unique (so far as I know) DVD feature that allows you to watch the movie with or without the storyline. Specifically, you can watch the entire movie as a "feature" or select to watch only the sex scenes...as if the movie were a wall-to-wall all-sex movie (there are 16 minutes of plot and one hour and 52 minutes of sex). That's a very useful feature! 

Check out some photos of the girls in Secretary's Day here. Pay particular attention to the photos of the incomparable Dr. Jay's Must-See Girls Alektra Blue and Tori Lane and sweet-looking--yet not so innocent--Lindsey Meandows! Enjoy!


Scene One

Scene One
is a conventional boy/girl scene featuring Jordana James and Erik Everhard. It rates four stars on my boy/girl scale.
  • Scene Setup: Jordana is the personnel manager at the office and is assigned by the boss to go over the company's benefits with Erik, a new hire, in a nicely-appointed conference room. Jordana really likes Erik and happily informs him that sex with the secretaries is one of the best perks in the firm's "extra" benefits package (the dialog was poorly recorded and is difficult to hear).
  • Foreplay 1: Tit worship/kissing/stripping. Jordana opens the top button of her blouse and literally forces Erik's face between her ripe young tits. Erik kisses her cleavage and then opens her blouse and tugs aside her bra so that he can suckle her perky nipples. While Erik orally worships Jordana's boobs, they take a break to share a scrumptious open-mouthed kiss.
  • Foreplay 2: Finger-fucking/rimming. Jordana bends over the conference table doggie style so that Erik's hands can have easy access to her pussy and clit. Erik jacks her clit frantically, probes her cunt with his spit-soaked fingers, and sharply spanks and suckles her gorgeous ass cheeks. He also uses his tongue to rim her pretty asshole.
  • Foreplay 3: Fellatio. Erik unzips his trousers, pulls out his semi-hard cock, and sits back on the conference room table. Jordana quickly kneels before him and the takes his rod into her wanton mouth. She also uses her hands to great advantage as she sucks and licks his lucky rod. And, she uses her mesmerizing eyes to gaze into Erik's eyes...eliciting a predictable "rise" from him. Soon, Jordana has Erik's cock hard and at full mast. Then, Erik pulls Jordana's hair while using his hugely erect rod to fuck her throat balls deep. Of course, Jordana squeals with delight! As the blowjob continues, Jordana spits on Erik's rod and then uses it to slap her perky boobs.
  • Position 1: Doggie. Jordana again bends over the conference table. Then, Erik uses his hands to spread her ass cheeks wide open so her pussy is easily accessible to his lucky cock. After he inches up her juicy pink hole, he pounds her hard and deep so that both he and Jordana shout and groan ecstatically (too bad the camera angles don't show the in-and-out action very well). Meanwhile, Erik pulls Jordana's hair and slaps her gorgeous butt cheeks until they glow bright red.
  • Position 2: Cowgirl. After Erik again sits back on a chair, Jordana mounts him cowgirl style. Then, Erik aligns his cock with her hole so she can inch him back into her tight twat. Then, while Erik reaches around to spank and squeeze her meaty ass cheeks, Jordana shows off her truly passionate nature as she powerfully and gleefully bounces up and down on his cock. Jordana's energy is boundless as she fucks herself and Erik to heaven (nice camera angles of the in-and-out action). "I like it," she screams!
  • Position 3: Missionary. While keeping his cock deeply implanted in Jordana's vagina, Erik stands and then sets her on top of the conference table. Without missing nary a stroke, Erik continues to fuck Jordana fast and deep. Jordana loves it and increases her own pleasure by jacking her clit while Erik reams her cunt and squeezes her boobs. During this segment, Erik takes a time out to go down on Jordana's tasty twat and eat it ravenously. He also lets Jordana taste herself by giving her his pussy-juice-soaked rod to suck.
  • Position 4: Modified doggie. Jordana again stands on the floor and bends over the conference table. Then, Erik lifts her right leg up on top of the table so that her body is at a right angle to the tabletop. Then, he fucks her dripping-wet bald pussy with increasing intensity as he stands behind her (nice camera work). Meanwhile, Jordana turns her lust-filled eyes toward Erik's and shouts passionately. Erik really wants Jordana to cum. So, he pulls out of her pussy and forcefully strokes her sensitive clit until she squeals and trembles with genuine delight. Then, he shoves his dick back inside her and pounds her through wave after wave of orgasmic bliss. Afterward, he lets her suck her cum off his rod.
  • Position 5: Reverse cowgirl. Erik lies face up on top of the table and positions Jordana above him so that she can lean back on his chest while he fucks her. Erik's redline-speed thrusts cause Jordana to shout for joy as her cute all-natural boobs bounce delightfully and her nipples swell to huge proportions (the camera angles here are superb...but the image is way too light [overexposed]). In due course, Jordana lifts herself off of Erik's chest and vertically straddles him so the she can do the fucking. This is what I've been awaiting! Jordana's lusty moves are superb as she tosses her hard body up and down with abandon. Even better, her long brunette hair and cute tits bounce delightfully in sync with each of her powerful thrusts. During this hot segment, the camera captures the action from in front of Jordana and from Erik's POV.
  • Position 6: Doggie part three. Jordana, her body glowing red with lust, kneels on one of the conference room chairs and presents her swollen, pink, juicy, and oh-so-desirable pussy to Erik. Of course, Erik immediately plugs her hole and pounds it powerfully. During this segment, the fucking is punctuated with bouts of pussy-to-mouth action. And, even better, Jordana has a volcanic orgasm as her vagina clamps down on Erik's rod.
  • Popshot: Jordana begs, "You gonna give it to me?" Erik responds to the lady's heartfelt request by continuing to pound her pussy doggie style until he reaches the point of no return. Then, he simply slides out and shoots spasm after spasm of semen into her ass cleavage and onto her asshole. Then, the camera zooms in to focus on Jordana's pretty cum-covered butt as she demurs, "Welcome to the company." Indeed.

Scene Two

In Scene Two, Pat Myne gets an opportunity to fuck raven-haired beauty Alektra Blue, who plays one of Mr. Wylde's secretaries. Pat is extremely fortunate because he gets to plug Alektra's pussy and her asshole. This multi-orgasmic anal-intensive scene earns five stars.

-- sponsored by --

  • Scene Setup: Alektra Blue is sitting at her desk groaning pleasurably as the camera zooms in on her rapturous face. At first, it appears that she's masturbating...because there's no sign of a partner. However, after Mr. Wylde storms into her office ranting about numbers and cookies and then stomps away furiously, Pat Myne emerges from under Alektra's desk and chases her around her office until she comes to rest atop her desk. As Alektra sits back and spreads her legs wide, Pat takes full advantage of her panty-less pussy. Wouldn't you?
  • Foreplay 1: Finger-fucking. Alektra sits on her desk with her legs spread so that Pat can use his spit-soaked fingers to spank and probe her pussy. He also greedily kisses her mouth while he impatiently rips off her blouse and bright pink bra to reveal a very nice set of tits and an attractive pierced navel.
  • Foreplay 2: Cunnilingus. Pat kneels between Alektra's legs and literally attacks her pussy with his voracious tongue while her bejeweled clit and chevron-shaped pubic hair supervise the action. God, Pat must loves Alektra's pussy as much as I do because his licking, sucking, and probing actions are really eager (Alektra's pussy is fucking gorgeous!)! Later, Alektra repays Pat by masturbating for him...she bangs herself with multiple spit-soaked fingers while staring intently into Pat's eyes. Fuck, I would have cum by now!
  • Foreplay 3: Fellatio. Alektra helps Pat out of his clothes and then strokes his king-sized already-stiff cock with her spit-lubricated hand. Meanwhile, she plays with her own pussy. In due course, Alektra drops to her knees and begins to gobble Pat's cock. Alektra gives Pat a first-class--and very noisy--blowjob using her hands, mouth, and lots of spit. She even swallows it balls-deep (she chokes on it) and spanks it! And, she licks and suckles his balls, too! Nice job, Alektra! Believe me, if you have a cock, you'll enjoy this blowjob!
  • Position 1: Doggie. Alektra bends over her desk and slobbers spit all over her cunt to make it nice and juicy for Pat's penis. But, before Pat gets to ream her, she pounds herself with up to three fingers at a time! Then, after both Pat and Alektra take an opportunity to spank her ass until it glows red, Pat slips his cock into her welcoming pussy and reams it lustily (great camera angles and tight close-ups highlight Alektra's juicy cunt). Meanwhile, Alektra encourages Pat with lots of nasty talk: "Fuck me harder!...My pussy's so fuckin' sensitive!...Don't you fuckin' stop!" And, she increases her pleasure by fingering her clit and by taking breaks for some tasty pussy-to-mouth action that includes deep-throating and jaw-breakers. Throughout this segment, Alektra's shapely ass cheeks often become the center of attention when either she or Pat spank them sharply.
  • Position 2: Missionary. Alektra lies her shapely and hard body on top of her desk and spreads her legs wide open. Then, after spitting on Alektra's cunt, Pat slips his cock back inside and reams her with increasing fervor while she slaps her clit, rocks her hips in sync with his thrusts, groans ecstatically, and talks naughtily. And, Pat responds to Alektra's words by talking nasty, too! Throughout this segment, the camera focuses in on Alektra's sumptuous and oh-so-gorgeous pussy as it ravenously swallows Pat's lucky cock.
  • Position 3: Missionary anal. While looking directly into Pat's eyes, Alektra demands, "Put it in my fucking ass!" Who'd deny the lady's request? Certainly not Pat...because he immediately pulls out of her cunt and inches his rod past her sphincter and into her tight ass (superb video of the insertion!). Pat gradually increases his depth of penetration as he thrusts in-and-out. Meanwhile, Alektra shows her appreciation by murmuring, "Yes, yes, yes...Oh my God it feels so fucking good!...Fuck me like the fucking whore that I am!...Don't you stop fucking!" And, she increases her own pleasure by four-finger-fucking her stunningly beautiful pink cunt and by forcefully jacking her clit. Alektra's subsequent back-arching ass-gasm is volcanic!
  • Position 4: Reverse cowgirl anal. Without letting his cock slip out of Alektra's asshole, Pat carries her into the reverse cowgirl position as he lies down on the floor of her office. Alektra leans back on Pat's chest as he reams her ever deeper until his cock is completely swallowed--balls-deep--by her asshole. Alektra squeals with delight, talks nasty, and multiple-finger-fucks her pussy as waves of pleasure flow through her body. In due course, Alektra becomes so enflamed that she starts to fuck him by tossing her asshole up and down on Pat's rigid rod. And, she uses some of the hottest-ever grinding moves, too! Damn, she's one horny bitch! And, her moves are incendiary! Later, Pat decides to show Alektra who is boss. So, he begins to piston in-and-out of her ass so fast that his dick blurs on the screen! Alektra, however, doesn't want Pat's head to swell...so, she taunts, "Is that all you've got!" Of course, Pat responds by fucking her even harder!
  • Popshot: When Pat roars, "Get on your fuckin' knees," Alektra immediately complies. Then, as she holds her mouth wide open, Pat shoves his shaft in her mouth and demands, "You do it...you suck it. SUCK IT!" She does as Pat requests and strokes and sucks him until he explodes inside her insatiable mouth. She shows Pat (and us) her sperm-filled mouth and then swallows every drop! Good girl, Alektra!

Scene Three

In Scene Three, Tory Lane plays the boss' bored and spoiled daughter. When two delivery boys show up to drop off some packages, Tory taunts the poor guys and makes them move the packages here and there to fulfill her ever-changing whims. Then, she fucks the shit out of them! There are only three things you need to know about this scene. First, it features the incredible Tory Lane, one of my 2007 Must See Girls (Click here). So, I advise you to see any and all of Tory's scenes because she's both gorgeous and an incredible fuck. Second, this is an amazing boy/boy/girl threesome during which Tory gets double penetrated by the huge cocks belonging to Steve Holmes and Talon. Third, no matter HOW hard the guys pound Tory, she always demands more, More, MORE! Five fucking stars! Amazing. Watch it!

Scene Four

I must admit that I am really impressed by Lindsey Meadows, who appears in Scene Four. This is my first look at this scrumptious brunette and I must say, I like what I see. Not only is her body superb (her abs are to die for), but her sexual performance is volcanic, too. Frankly, I've already put her on my watch list as a potential 2008 winner of the Dr. Jay's Must See Girls award. This scene, in which Lindsey is paired with Mark Wood, earns a solid four and one-half stars.

  • Scene Setup: Lindsey plays the firm's receptionist and is forced by the boss, Mr. Wylde, to keep Mark, a hapless job applicant, waiting for interminable hours in the lobby while Wylde laughs and enjoys his "power." What an asshole that boss is! Eventually, Lindsey takes pity on increasingly impatient Mark, gives him some refreshment, and confesses to him just how much of a jerk her boss really is. Mark then shows mercy on poor Lindsey by giving her a back rub. And, since this is porn, the back rub leads to wild sex!
  • Foreplay 1: Stripping and fondling. As Mark rubs Lindsey's back, she strokes her own flesh and begins to strip off her clothes. While Lindsey disrobes very slowly and provocatively, Mark strokes her sensitive flesh, squeezes her nipples, squeezes and kisses her ass flesh, and rubs her clit. Lindsey reacts by groaning ecstatically, by smiling, and by undulating her body erotically. At long last, Lindsey is completely naked. I think you'll agree that her body is fucking awesome...from her perky all-natural boobs, to her shapely heart-shaped ass, to her hard and muscular abs, to her flowing brunette hair, to her cleanly-shaven pussy. Yum!
  • Foreplay 2: Fellatio. While Mark stands before her, stark-naked Lindsey sits on the waiting room couch, unzips his pants, and takes his mammothly-erect cock into her capable hands and mouth. Lindsey's actions and moans prove that she absolutely adores Mark's king-sized rod. Mark, too, adores her technique and groans approvingly as his cock grows ever longer. While Lindsey gleefully gobbles and strokes Mark's spit-lubricated penis, she keeps her soaking-wet pussy happy by slapping, stroking, and probing it with her fingers.
  • Position 1: Reverse cowgirl. Mark lies back on the waiting room couch and guides his rod into Lindsey's dripping-wet pussy as she straddles him and lowers her body down. Once he's inside, Lindsey fucks and grinds him using some of the most erotic-looking moves I've seen in a long time. As she frantically fucks him balls-deep, Lindsey groans excitedly as her oh-so-happy twat literally soaks Mark's cock with juice. In fact, her body immediately begins to ramp up to an orgasm. Mark helps her make it to climax by reaching around to jack her clit as she hurls her body up and down on his cock at redline speed. During this hot segment, I think you'll agree with my assessment that Lindsey's belly is one of the finest and hardest abdomens around. I fuckin' love her body!
  • Position 2: Cowgirl. Lindsey sucks her cum off of Mark's dick, mounts him cowgirl style, guides his cock into her insatiable and flowing twat, and then resumes pounding him with unbridled energy. Fuck, her moves are hot! Instead of letting Lindsey do all the work, Mark helps out by spanking and squeezing handfuls of Lindsey's abundant butt flesh. Believe me, Lindsey is an incredible fuck and, in Mark's words, "goes crazy" as she fucks him powerfully.
  • Position 3: Doggie. Lindsey again sucks her abundant nectar off of Mark's rod and then kneels on the couch doggie style so that Mark can ream her from behind. After allowing Lindsey to do most of the fucking in cowgirl and reverse, Mark really enjoys thrusting his rod in and out of her pussy while she screams, giggles with delight, and encourages him with naughty vocabulary: "Shit, that's some good fuckin' dick!" Even though Mark does and excellent job reaming her cunt, Lindsey emphatically needs more pleasure. So, while Mark continues to thrust in-and-out, she undulates her gorgeous body in an orbital fashion. Damn, this is hot-looking sex! Mark agrees and exclaims, "That's incredible."
  • Position 4: Missionary. Lindsey spits on Mark's cock and then laps it--and her copious girl-juice--up. She also strokes and deep-throats his penis. Then, she lies back on the couch and holds her legs behind her head to prepare for some missionary sex. But, before Mark reinserts his cock into her insatiable pussy, he bends down and licks up as much of her bountiful juice as possible as she holds her labia wide open for him. Mark also rims her tight asshole. When Mark eventually slides his cock back into Lindsey's pussy, she giggles with delight and exclaims: "Oooh, YEAH! I like it!" Those with a foot fetish will appreciate how Mark suckles Lindsey's toes while he fucks her fast and deep. Pussy lovers, like me, will enjoy Lindsey's inner labia as they wink open and closed as Mark thrusts in and out of her cunt. And, those who like "women who fuck" as opposed to "women who get fucked" will appreciate Lindsey's scorching-hot moves as she fucks Mark back stroke for stroke. Finally, if you like girls who talk naughty, you'll love Lindsey's commentary as her pleasure builds toward another climax.
  • Popshot: "I want you to fucking cum. I wanna taste you in my mouth!" Mark complies with her invitation by pounding her twat even harder as wave after wave of pleasure course through Lindsey's oversexed body. Eventually, he reaches the point of no return, pulls out, and showers her face and mouth with his semen. She lets his cum ooze out of her mouth and then sucks his rod dry (the only thing that disappointed me about this scene was Lindsey's failure to swallow!).

Scene Five

The last secretary to have her dreams fulfilled in Secretary's Day is Samantha Sin. This threeway features James Deen and Mr. Pete and it features lots of anal and double-penetration action. Even though Samantha takes it up the ass and gets double-penetrated, no real passion develops between her and the guys. Sadly, she never cums during the scene. Three and one-half stars.
  • Scene Setup: The setup for Scene Five is, I think, the best in the entire movie (too bad the audio wasn't recorded very well). Even if you choose to watch the movie without the plot, be sure to watch Samantha as she lures James and Pete into her trap. Both guys are obviously taken with Samantha's looks and demeanor. And, both guys make their moves on her--each to be rebuffed. However, Samantha doesn't want each guy...she wants both of them! So, panty-less, she sits on a copy machine, scans her pussy and asshole, and then sends each guy a print. When the guys check their in-boxes, they find her "message" and head straight to the conference room for some wild threeway action.
  • Foreplay 1: Stripping and masturbation. When the guys barge into the conference room, they find Samantha giggling and masturbating as she sits atop the table. She taunts them, saying: "Would you guys settle for a fuck?" Hell, yes! So, Mr. Pete starts to undress her (she has nice all-natural boobs) while James goes straight for her pussy and strokes it with his fortunate fingers. Samantha repays the guys by shoving her index finger all the way into her juicy pussy so she can fuck herself and rub her G-spot.
  • Foreplay 2: Fellatio Soon, Pete takes over the finger-fucking action while James pulls his erect cock out of his pants. Samantha immediately begins to stroke James' rod while Pete releases his dick from captivity. Then, Samantha, overjoyed, drops to her knees between the guys and services both of their rods with her skillful hands and greedy mouth. Samantha acts like a little girl in a candy store as she voraciously gobbles and swallows (sometimes balls-deep) both guys' lollypops. The guys help out by fucking her throat.
  • Position 1: Doggie. Pete bends Samantha over the conference table, tugs down her thong panties, spanks and squeezes her ass, and then fucks her pussy from behind. While he thrusts in-and-out of Samantha, Pete takes numerous opportunities to slap her shapely ass cheeks. Meanwhile, Samantha keeps her mouth and hands occupied by pleasing James' penis. She also uses a free hand to spread her ass cheeks wide for Pete.
  • Position 2: Missionary. Samantha lies on her side atop the table so that James can get a chance to fuck her pussy missionary style. Meanwhile, she eagerly accepts Pete's rod into her insatiable mouth. She also uses her spit-lubricated hands to stroke Pete's tingling rod. While the guys fuck her mouth and cunt, they both take several opportunities to spank her thighs and pretty tits: "I like when you slap my tits!"
  • Position 3: Doggie. Lindsey gracefully rolls over into the doggie position and presents her pussy and asshole to Pete who lubricates both of her holes with his saliva. Then, as Pete again fucks her pussy and spanks her bright-red ass, Samantha turns her mouth's attention to James' dick.
  • Position 4: Spoon anal. "Fuck my ass!" demands Samantha. So, after they lie on their sides on the floor, Pete inches his rod past her sphincter and fucks her balls deep while she, in turn, blows James' cock. Samantha loves having her ass fucked... her nipples swell and her flesh breaks out with goose bumps to prove it! Eventually, James, too, gets to ream Samantha's asshole spoon style as she continues to lie on her side (nice close-ups) and exclaims, "I love getting fucked in the ass! It's SO tight!" Feeling neglected, Pete soon shoves his cock into Samantha's willing mouth and fucks her throat.
  • Position 5: Reverse cowgirl anal. James rolls over onto his back and carries Samantha with him. Then, as he continues to pound her asshole with his cock, he reaches down and uses both of his hands to stroke and probe Samantha's pussy. Samantha keeps herself occupied by gobbling Pete's cock and balls.
  • Position 6: Reverse cowgirl double-penetration. Pete removes his cock from Samantha's mouth and stands between her legs so that he can fuck her pussy while James continues to ream her asshole. Samantha's face beams with delight as the pleasure from having both of her holes reamed at the same time courses through her body. Even so, Samantha wants more pleasure. So, she slaps her clit as the guys fuck her.
  • Position 7: Doggie anal. Samantha kneels on one of the conference room chairs so that Pete can fuck her asshole from behind. Meanwhile, James fucks her willing mouth.
  • Position 8: Cowgirl double-penetration. Samantha mounts James, who's sitting on a chair, cowgirl style and then he guides his rod into her twat and fucks her for a short while. Then Pete, from behind, slips his cock into her ass so that, again, both of her holes can be plowed at the same time. Meanwhile, Samantha giggles and pants with pleasure. The guys' lust escalates dramatically as they pound her faster and faster, especially when Samantha tells them, "You're gonna make me cum!" Sadly, however, there's no evidence of her climax shown in the movie.
  • Popshots: Samantha kneels between the two guys as they stand on both sides of her. Then, using just her hand, she jacks Pete's dick until he explodes all over her smiling and beaming face. Don't you love it when the girl makes the guy cum? As soon as Pete's spasms recede, Samantha turns her attention to James who is madly stroking his rod. Soon, James shoots a noteworthy amount of semen all over Samantha's blissful face. Then, while giggling like a schoolgirl, she sucks his rod dry.

DVD Perspectives

Video (technical): Most of the conventional 4:3 video is average...but some of it is quite mediocre. I occasionally thought that the camera zeroed in on one thing while something much more interesting was going on elsewhere. For example, in one case, the camera was focused on Jordana's face while Erik was inching his cock up her pussy. Although Jordana's face truly is cute and delightful to savor, I'd rather have seen the insertion. However, most of the camera angles and close-ups are effective--the cameraman shows us that we want to see! The lighting occasionally leaves a great deal to be desired. In particular, many of the segments are vastly overexposed so that the performers' skin looks bright white instead of a healthy tan color. In addition, the color balance is off so that Alektra Blue's skin appears yellow (jaundice!). I also noticed some jerky movements as the cameraman moved from one position to another. Most of the editing is OK, if not noteworthy. However, there are several occasions when important footage...such as the transitions from one position to another...are not shown. And, Lindsey Meadows isn't wearing glasses before one edit...and sports them after the edit! Unusually, I noticed several occurrences of pixelization...large squares of color that appear across the screen without reason. Three stars.

Audio (technical): I have a problem with the audio! If you watch the "feature" version of Secretary's Day, you'll want to hear the dialog. Unless you really crank up your volume control, that's just not possible. Unfortunately, all the audio appears to have been recorded using a camera-mounted microphone. Thus, whenever the camera is close to the action (for example, when it captured the sexual activities) the volume level is perfect. However, when the dialog was captured from across the room, the camera-mounted microphone didn't pick up the performers' voices very well. That's why boom microphones were invented! I also have to report that there is quite a bit of ambient background noise during the sex scenes. There are also instances in which the audio drops out entirely (especially in Scene Four). Two stars.

Extras: The DVD-9 disc comes with full motion chapter selection that's organized by girl; a positions menu that allows you to watch blowjobs, missionary, doggie, cowgirl, anal, DPs or cum shots; 11 minutes of behind the scenes footage (I found it pretty boring); a self-running slide show that plays for about a minute and a half; a link to watch other Smash releases on line (you have to pay); trailers for three other Smash movies; and website information. In addition, there's a minute or so of bloopers that play during the credits at the end of the movie. This is an average set of Extras worth three stars.

Aesthetics: Secretary's Day was shot in an ordinary-looking office building in ordinary offices atop and around ordinary office furniture and equipment. Therefore, the surroundings and props are appropriate to the theme of the movie even if they are not particularly noteworthy. I like the girls' attire...conservative yet slutty-looking business suits that quickly drop away to reveal hard and alluring bodies. I also think that the girls' make-up is appropriate for the business office setting. There's no musical soundtrack to support the on-screen sex. Three and one-half stars.

Dr. Jay

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