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Not Really...Dukes Of Hazzard
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Not Really The Dukes of Hazzard
Genre: Sitcum porn parody
Director: Anton Slayer
Cast: Alexis Texas, Anthony Rosano, Ryder Skye, Dane Cross, Monique Alexander, Mark Wood, Shawna Lenee, Bill Bailey, Jack Lawrence
Non-sex roles: Rayveness, Allen Moffat, James Bartholet, Carl Frederick Coughlan, Ray Marlay, Joe Bob, Rachael Nicole Waters, David Scott Pearl, Hugh B. Sherrod, Russell Broadway, JR Pool, Shaun Andrew Easter, Alan Charles Deane, Aaron Jason Presley, Rachel Anna Armani, Don Buckoff, Trent Pearson
Length: 132:56 minutes
Date of Production: 2009
Extras: Disc 1 was filled mostly with the movie itself, not containing anything like an audio commentary or anything else but it did have a de-pornified version of the movie, the sex excised out as though ready for release at a NOW meeting or something. Disc 2 was the location of the wealth of extras, starting off with four bonus scenes from previously released movies by the label, all of them fairly lengthy clocking in at around 24 to 34 minutes each, from Bombshell Bottoms #5, Superstacked All Stars, Souled Out, and Self Service). I prefer extras made for a particular movie so I enjoyed the lengthy, making of featurettes called Welcome To Hazzard County Y'all that lasted 49 minutes; beginning with Anton outlining the production and his credentials. Thankfully, the ladies and other cast members started getting some screen time soon enough, showing a day to day diary of the production so it was well worth checking out. After that came a series of dedicated interviews with the primary quartet of female cast members by Jade Marcela, this production high on fluff but providing some updates for those that care to spend 33:15 minutes checking it out (called, appropriately enough, Meet The Girls of Hazzard County). There was then a Blooper Reel lasting 6:27 minutes called Cooter's Gag Garage, a couple of photogalleries, some trailers, and web access.
Audio/Video Quality: Not Really The Dukes of Hazzard was presented in a colorful 1.78:1 ratio, anamorphic widescreen, offering as shot by director Anton Slayer for Vouyer Media using the 480p resolution and MPEG-2 codec typical of standard definition projects. The initial reaction I had was to appreciate how much more time Vouyer Media spent on making this one look at least something like the original show, showing they are listening, Anton's efforts getting better all the time. The pornified sets were better than average for this type of show, the lower budgets and time constrictions not as damaging to a sitcum styled parody. The editing wasn't as strong as the best genre efforts but Jonny Grownwood and Nate Liquer joined Anton to transform the raw footage into a decent effort. The standard definition version of the flick had a few compression artifacts, only a bit of noise & edge enhancement, and proper lighting to assist in making the movie look more like the original, the show greatly benefitting from the participation of Melissa Monet in a behind the scenes capacity as co-writer (of the script). In short, in terms of the visual esthetics, this title was another parody done reasonably right, providing various double entendres but not goofing on the show as I thought it would, the company watermark the biggest pain for me personally. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 256 Kbps audio bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate, the score close enough to provide an aural experience in line with the low budget original series. The vocals were clear and crisp here, showing an attempt to mimic the original show so many people enjoyed years ago, the opening theme song funny enough to get a nod (reminding me a lot of the various efforts by Roger Krypton at Hustler).
Body of Review: Anton Slayer is currently one of the "guns for hire" directors in porn, trying to sell his sitcum parodies wherever will fund his projects. In what was a surprise move, gonzo outlet Vouyer Media picked him up for a project as white bread as could be with Not Really The Dukes of Hazzard. To refresh your memories, the original show was based on a movie called "Moonrunners" and starred a family of moonshiners always getting in trouble with the corrupt local authorities. The characters were, of course, watered down and designed to appeal to the masses, various contract disputes wreaking havoc with the series as time went on. Personally, I watched the show to check out Barbara Bach (whose character name "Daisy Duke" became synonymous with short cut blue jeans where the ass cheek spilled out) but I'm told the show was almost religiously watched by people south of the Mason-Dixon line, the 1969 Dodge Charger "The General Lee", often considered the best actor of the show. Well, in the current mass market for sitcum porn parodies, it was only a matter of time before this show was pornified like so many others, the genre effort a first for company Vouyer Media. While director Anton Slayer is no stranger to sitcums, his name is certainly not commonly held in high regard thanks to his often mediocre attempts, but the cast was full of pretty ladies and appeared to have a budget larger than Hustler provides, giving Slayer what some might call "his shot" to do it right. In large part, it wasn't bad at all with enough humor, touches from the original, and okay sex to make this a modest hit. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:
Scene One: Alexis Texas, the bountiful blond bombshell so many fans adore, was up first as the love interest of Anthony "Luke" Rosano, his brother fielding interference to get her daddy away from the hot piece of ass. She was wearing blue jean shorts and a plaid top, the twang in her voice a bit more Texan than Georgian. He scooped her up and started kissing her, working her titties and licking her precious pucker before she turned around to slob his knob. The oral by both of them was fairly solid though lacking in chemistry such as she has with better sexual performers, his ridiculous wig distracting a bit more than the intermittent watermark appearing randomly on the lower right hand corner. They screwed in several vaginal positions with equal vigor, Alexis an active rider and cock sucker who drained his balls dry of genetic juice with a wad to her lovely butt.
Scene Two: Ryder "Daisy" Skye, was one of the weaker cast members (seen on the front cover) of the parody, not just for looks but acting ability as well, and up next with Dane "Enos" Cross, the mope about as bad a choice as she was for their respective roles. Still, implants and other characteristics aside, she was a good piece of ass, getting eaten on the hood of the car before she reciprocated with a hardy hummer, showing a lot of strength in her oral skills this time. Both of them appeared to be satisfied with each other, looking into each other's eyes (despite a stupid fly caught in several seconds of footage) as they did the deed, the vaginal sex modestly active when she was on top of him, the girl jerking him off to elicit his population pudding into her mouth.
Rosco and Boss Hogg
Scene Three: Monique Alexander, the former contract starlet at another company, was up next already getting nailed by Mark "Kooter" Wood, the mechanic plowing her as if the first half of the scene was MIA. She actively rode his pecker and provided ample taste testing, slobbing her own juices from his dick, until he felt obligated to do the same for her (though not as well). He provided full service in the oral, even eating her asshole, going back to boning her before jerking off a small wad of semen to her face. The lack of chemistry weakened the action here but she did look good all the same.
Scene Four: Shawna "Nancy Lu" Lenee, the blond hotty in town for the wet t-shirt contest, was up next on a large white couch with Bill "Bo" Bailey, the frisky wearing a purple plaid shirt and obligatory blue jean shorts as she tore off his cloths. While he put up a token fight of resistance, she wanted his cock in her mouth so she took what she wanted with a dedicated blowjob. The knob slobbing was aggressive and passionate, Bill going down on her until she was ready to fuck like a bunny in a few positions. Shawna did some taste testing and showed off her implants well enough, the lighting too low to fully appreciate her curvy figure, but her need for seed ending up with a blast to her chest from his dick.
Scene Five: Ryder "Daisy" Skye, up last at night outside on a windy night, paired off with Jack Lawrence, the man playing a mean sheriff outside of the bar where the contest was to be held. Ryder stripped for him and spread her legs seductively, Jack going to town eating her out before the usual screwing once she finished blowing him. While not as active a rider as she was earlier, it was not a bad scene to end off with, the contest providing some extra titty action and Ryder getting him to launch his nut on her chest.
Summary: Not Really The Dukes of Hazzard by director Anton Slayer for Vouyer Media was far better than his previous efforts with the Gilligan's Island or Munsters parodies thanks to a solid cast yet the thematic elements revolving around the original show were not handled as well as they should have been, the many minor touches a couple of top dogs in the sitcum field almost always include a lot of yet it still merited a rating of Recommended based on the sex alone, if not the parody portions of the show so give it a look to see what I mean. In short, Not Really The Dukes of Hazzard served well enough as a pornified version of the show, perhaps best looked at as equal to the episodes in the fifth season when Wopat and Schneider left in a contract dispute (the Coy and Vance episodes) with some decent sex added in for good measure.
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