2008, 2:07 plus extras With: Chelsea Rae, Lexi Belle, Trina Michaels, Tatiana Kush, Emma Heart, Jackie Ashe, Chastity Lynn, Carmen McCarthy, Riley Evans, Jenna Haze; Tom Byron Director: Tom Byron
"Penis by Tom Byron" is one of the greatest end credits ever, mainly because it's so utterly minimalist -- exactly like this edition of the porn veteran's ongoing cocksucking series. Lord Byron is only seen from the thighs down throughout the production. The point of "point-of-view," of course, is that the camera be positioned near the head of the blow-jobee, thus giving the viewer the illusion that he is the one getting hummed, or more realistically, giving him an idea of what it would look like if the hottie on screen were really kneeling between his legs. Having a dick as sizable as Lord Byron's is, however, entirely the viewer's responsibility.
This installment features a large and varied lineup of ladies, listed above in order of appearance. Lord Byron wastes little time versifying or chatting other than asking, "So, do you like to suck cock?" and making guttural noises when the girls demonstrate their affirmative answer to that question. Each scene is shot either in Byron's den/office or in a bedroom. Most of the girls strip off seductively and spread their ass cheeks wide before getting to work. There is no fucking, and Byron never touches the girls, besides occasionally pushing down on their head. There is a general adherence to real-time shooting, but there are dissolves to the climactic moments, usually with LB jerking himself at the crucial moment and delivering a spraying facial.
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The girls are a nice mixture of familiar faces and lesser-known sluts. Chelsea Rae is a cute and natural blue-eyed brunette with small tits, a nice ass and a bubbly personality. The ever-adorable Lexi Belle gives Byron a nice standing hand job before blowing him. Hazel-eyed seductress Trina Michaels clearly enjoys having something in her mouth, but she never gets totally naked (though her magnificent tits do finally make an appearance).
Your Addison's faves here, however, are Jackie Ashe, a totally unadorned brunette with a thin, natural body who looks like an extra from "Taking Woodstock"; the oh very young Chastity Lynn, a straw-colored blonde with fair skin, a thin, little girl's body and a voracious mouth; and the more mature golden girl Riley Evans, who has a nice slow mouthing technique.
There's also the Anna Paquinesque Tatiana Kush; Emma Heart, a full-figured blonde with a 1950s-bombshell vibe; Carmen McCarthy, a light-eyed blonde with full, real boobs; and DVD cover girl Jenna Haze, who has that old-pro attitude -- and still possesses one of the most perfect little butts of all time.
This is a full-package DVD, highlighted by brief pre-sex interviews with five of the girls and eight action-packed Tom Byron trailers that total 24 minutes. The trailers, which are actually, collectively hotter than the main program are for: "Seasoned Players 5," "Seasoned Players 6" (Stephanie Swift is back!), "Lord of Asses 11," "POV Cocksuckers 7," "Ass Eaters Unanimous 15" (all girls), "Ass Eaters Unanimous 16" (a hot item with Byron getting his manhole lapped and tongue-fucked by a bevy of beauties), "POV Cocksuckers 6" and "House of Asses 9."
The main menu offers Play Movie, Scene Selection (which leads to two screens of full-action frames highlighting each girl), Extras (the above-mentioned interviews), Photo Gallery, Trailers and More Fun (a continuation of the phone sex and web site ads that appear when you first pop the disc in).
The feature -- not HD but looking fine nevertheless -- is presented in full frame (perhaps explainable by the 2008 copyright date).
THE LAST WORD
Fans of point-of-view blow job shows have a lot to gander at here. The wide-ranging ladies give it their all, though there's nothing particularly kinky going on, and there's a rather numbing sameness to every scene. The extras, especially the generous trailers, nearly out-hot the main program.