OK, so, this movie does not tell you who is who. So I took my best guess and used the Internet to figure everybody out. I guess UK porn is different, because most US porn tells you who the girls are.
"Beauty and the Beast": Alexa
This scene is artistically shot, although it starts off a bit like a horror movie. Alexa, the ballerina, dances on a PVC barre with creepy piano music.
She then starts masturbating in artistic blue and white lighting while she's watching a dude watching her? Ahh, close ups on his face! Stop it! Apparently he's another ballet dancer.
The sound isn't good. They're trying to cover it up with the music, but the music is kind of bad. So he comes over and licks her, tonguing her ass for a while.
And suddenly, in color! She's kind of sucking his cock through his skintight unitard.
Because what's not sexy about a man in a unitard?
Interesting. Then his cock comes out and whoa! OK, that's a big cock.
She's actually OK at cocksucking. She keeps banging it against the inside of her cheek, though, which is a little weird.
And now we switch to this all pink scene while he licks her pussy and fingers her. She plays with her nipples while he tongues her ass some more.
And now we're back to black and white! And her shoes have suddenly changed to those kinda creepy heeled ballet torture shoes. Again, the sound is pretty bad. He does some anal fingering here too.
And now they're having sex in purple light! And more sex.
Weirdo lighting makes you .~*artistic*~.
And back to black and white sex. Sometimes they slow down the video and the sound doesn't match up at all. OK, now they're doing anal.
And then fade... and she's sucking him off to finish him. It's completely obvious that she didn't go ass to mouth, and the cumshot was pretty weak. Thumbs down for that part, but other than that, it was pretty good.
"Big Bottom Bitches": Elle Brook, Kerry Louise
OK, um, I don't really know what to say. Looking at the cover of this DVD would really not lead you to believe that this sort of content was on here. Actually, glancing at the back cover wouldn't give you much more insight either.
So there's these two dudes... strapped to chairs... wearing masks. One of the masks is one of those dog-head masks? And then these two chicks (redhead Elle Brook and brunette Kerry Louise) come in wearing... police hats? I mean, don't get me wrong, the chicks have nice tits and all, and are wearing these spiky collars and stuff and... now they are jacking off the guys and smacking their cocks around to rock-ish music. LITERALLY smacking their cocks.
I am like so confused right now
Seriously, I mean, this is another case of... this type of porn is perfectly fine and all, I just did not expect it on this DVD.
The girls seem perfectly able to suck cock so that's good. Some gagging and spitting from Kerry, which is nice.
Kerry is very good at what she does. I approve!
OK, then we switch to the guys being forced to eat the girls out (one of the guys is in a cage). They changed their masks as well.
OH boy. OK... so now Elle is tied to a giant wheel and is being spinned around. And we're spinning and spinning... and they don't even DO anything! There's no sex or oral or even groping. She just spins and spins and spins and spins...
-- sponsored by --
And cut! To Kerry being strung up by her feet who is now being forced to suck both guys' cocks. I mean, she's good at it and all, but wasn't she just playing domme? Logic fail!
Still, though, she's loud and enthusiastic.
And now we're to the girls pleasuring each other while Kerry continues to suck cock. They finally show Elle sucking, and she's doing OK too. Then Kerry gets fucked doggie style while she sucks on the other guy. One of the guys cums all over himself, which is a little weird. He's also a howler. And hairy! Stop that, guy! Stop that!
Random cut to the guys still being pleasured in various ways, including one of them fucking the hell out of Kerry after he's cum.
The second guy drops his cumshot all over Elle's ass, and we're done.
"Maid for Pleasure": Black Angelika, Donna Bell
Alice in Wonderland maids? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I don't think that's maid-like.
So Black Angelika (who is not, in fact, black as you might expect) walks into a room, and there's an open box with a steel dildo sitting out. Is it hers? Someone else's? How careless! Well obviously she should use it.
So she removes her lacy white panties to fuck herself with the tiny end. Well, that doesn't seem very sinful.
Donna comes in to watch. She's got lacy pink panties and starts pleasuring herself while watching.
Of course then Angelika cannot resist coming over to lick Donna. This is perfectly understandable, as they are both pretty smokin' hot.
OK, Donna has a HUUUUGE clit. It's like super long or something and it
totally sticks out while she's being sucked on (and later while she's being fucked, it does the same thing).
That's no moon, it's a space station!
And suddenly... there's a guy putting a tux on. And when we cut back, they've magically switched positions.
Tux man comes in for some instant action. No, seriously, he sees them both and he motions them over. Angelika is very good at sucking cock, and when Donna gets in there, she does just as well. Actually, so far most of the girls have been fairly talented and also hot. Points for that!
I'm also a fan of the lack of talking. The piano music, again, is a little odd.
Cut to... the girls going into a room where there's another guy waiting. The guy they were sucking on follows them, and whispers something to the waiting guy.
He orders the girls over, and starts spanking Angelika. Then the first guy starts spanking Donna but he's really fingering her more than spanking her. Then he's just eating her out.
Angelika starts sucking cock again, and I do not mind at all. Oh no I don't.
Then Donna does some nice deepthroating and drooling. I approve!
And now there is naked fucking. Angelika is pretty damn hot without the dress. One of the guys has some really strange tats.
Like I said, pretty damn hot.
And then Donna is naked and she is also all right.
Then both girls get some anal, and it's all good.
Cum shot all over the ass, and it's not too bad. Cut to cum on Donna's face, and she sucks it off, so I also consider that a faked ass to mouth.
"Crack Addictz" (with a Z? Oh yes.): Alexandra Cat, Jasmine Webb
Again with the S&M! Two guys wearing goggles... are ratcheting up a bound blonde (Alexandra Cat) with pigtails. They then add a spreader bar and force a glass dildo into her pussy. OK, I can get behind this, even if the chick is on the hairy side.
So these guys (one of them is wearing a rubber... dress?) keep playing with her, and then... cut.
Jasmine Webb (who actually IS black), wearing red heeled ballet torture shoes and pink plastic... everything, And goggles. While getting pleasured by two guys in gas masks. Seriously?
Yes, seriously. At least she's really cute.But WTF goggles?
There's some anal fingering, and then there's a weird buttplug with a skull on it, that looks like it will get sucked entirely into her ass at any minute. I was honestly a bit worried about that.
We're watching her get fucked with a steel dildo... and then there's a cut to her sucking cock through a hole in their... dresses. Lawd, I don't want to think about how sweaty theose cocks would be. And she's not sucking cock well at all. OK, she can go down further, but she seems to be choosing not to.
Alexandra is now upside down sucking both cocks. Guess they like that, since this is the second time they're doing it. She's doin' fine.
He feels pretty, oh so pretty...
And now we're back to Jasmine, holding onto a bar above her head while fucking one of the guys, who is now naked. She's also goggle-less, and I approve of that. Then she gets fucked in the ass, although it's pretty dark and hard to tell at first.
Cut to her sucking and fucking both guys. Now Alexandra is getting fucked but it's hard to tell where she is. The angle is odd and I think she's still hanging... oh, there we go. She's in a leather swing thing. She gets her ass fucked while she sucks the other guy.
Random cut to cumshot on Alexandra's face. Looks pretty good. Then cut to the guy cumming on Jasmine, and it's super watery and sprays all the way up to her face. Cray-zay.
Behind the scenes -
Sixteen minutes of not that great. Cumshot recap - You can play all the cum shots or choose whichever ones
you want Photo gallery - Apparently many of these photos were not taken during the actual scenes and seem more arty/Playboy style Trailers
The cover says the runtime is 3 hours and 24 minutes. The movie itself was only 2:50, and the behind the scenes was 16 minutes.
Math is hard!
The hits: There isn't an ugly girl anywhere in the entire movie. They are all varying levels of smokin' hot. There also aren't any bad scenes and none of the girls are bad at what they do! There's also no lame "acting" and for the most part there are great angles of great sex.
The misses: The music is rather lame, and seems to be trying to cover up a lot of echo on the sound. But this movie tries waaaay too hard to be "artistic" at times and that just comes off as lame. This is mostly noticeable in the first scene, with all the weirdo lighting and switches to black and white and back and forth and back again. Also, WTF goggles? Also also, WTF rubber dresses with cock holes in them?
It's so weird that the ballerina is on the cover, and makes up the entire menu. It's the first scene, and it's really the tamest (and lamest) one. Why they didn't put S&M stuff on the cover (since that is clearly more of the tone of the disk) is beyond me. There's really no sense to be made of that.
FINAL GRADE: B+
This is actually a good movie, but I feel like there was false advertising, both in terms of the runtime and due to the crappy ballerina cover, which really leads you to believe this is a different kind of porn than it is.
I didn't ding it too much, though, because they did a good job shooting it, and although the sound was bad, they made up for it by keeping the talking to a minimum.
If you like BDSM-type porn, you'll probably like this, so don't be fooled by the cover.