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Mindy McCready Baseball Mistress

Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 5/10/10

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

click for trailer

Mindy McCready: Baseball Mistress

Vivid Entertainment

Mindy McCready

Genre: Celebrity

Director: None

Cast: Mindy McCready, Peter

Mindy McCready with "Peter"

Length: 53:28 minutes

Date of Production: 1/13/2009

Extras: Curiously, the main extra was the entire Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal lasting 61:12 minutes (as shot in full frame around five years ago). There was also ten trailers in the Vivid Celebrity line and the usual spam. Then came a second disc of extras called the "Vivid 25th Anniversary DVD".This disc had 211:06 minutes of edited scenes from the Vivid vaults, a great many of them very appealing as a sampler even if I would have greatly preferred to see them in their original form.

Mindy McCready handling his goods

-- sponsored by --

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Mindy McCready: Baseball Mistress was presented in 1.33:1 ratio full frame by Vivid Entertainment in what appeared to be two segments; an interview portion in a loud bar or restaurant and one in bed. Both were grainy, lacking in lighting, and looked like the video gain was cranked up to make certain portions more visible, the footage of the interview looking amateurish but substantially better than the bedroom tryst. The fleshtones were decent only in the bathroom preparation portion where Mindy applied her makeup though the cameras moved a whole lot at that time too, even on the couch of the motel room. It was presented in MPEG-2 with a video bitrate of about 6.3 Mbps, the couple unimpressive visually, a company watermark seen on the left side of the screen. The audio was presented in Dolby Digital English 2.0 with a 48 kHz sampling rate and a 256 Kbps bitrate, the aural qualities as good as could be expected coming from the built in microphone of a handheld camera. During the bar interview, the background noise was unbearably lame but there were no musical interludes added in during the sexual portions so fans of such shows will be happy it did not appear heavily adulterated, most of the sex shot from a static camera placed on the dresser or something similar.

Doggy Style

Body of Review: Vivid is a high end porn production company best known for making the contract performer or "contract girl" system popular in porn during its lengthy history. Over time, they became best known for their features, garnering many awards and accolades for couples friendly smut, branching into alternative porn and educational titles (thanks to Eon McKai and Tristan Taormino respectively) as fulfilling market niches few others cared to venture into. Another niche they have offered up was the celebrity porn angle featuring a selection of third and fourth rate celebrities that either had home movies stolen or used them to revive failed careers, generally generating some buzz otherwise missing as the rest of the world moved away from them onto others. The latest such release is called Mindy McCready: Baseball Mistress, the titular gal known for a few country western songs, a role on reality television series "Celebrity Rehab", a wide variety of brushes with the law, and that she had a long term relationship with baseball legend Roger Clemens.

Eating at the Y

Vivid described the movie like this: "She shocked the world by revealing her affair with a Cy Young pitching ace! She startled Congress by testifying to the affair in the steroid trial that practically torpedoed the sport! Then she blew the lid off the dusty, rusty country music world with her gold album and bad behavior! And now, the Bad Girl of Baseball shows what it takes to make a superstar stray, in this completely explicit, hardcore, XXX DVD! And this time she really knocks the cover off the ball...if you know what we mean. Meet Mindy McCready, Baseball Mistress!" Here's a brief look at the action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

The best shot of Mindy McCready's ass I could find on the flick

Okay, the opening footage shows Mindy McCready being interviewed (poorly) in a public setting, a bar or restaurant with all the attendant noise that involves. She discusses her long term affair with Roger Clemens, compares his prowess in bed to actor Dean Cain, and repeatedly discourages the belief that she had sex with Roger when she was 15 years old. The interview lacked depth and specifics but given that this was her latest entry into the darker side of the media spotlight, which is understandable. The show picks up in a shitty little motel room where she applies some makeup and continues the interview on a couch, soon joined by her partner of the time, Peter, to engage in a handful of sex acts. This was oral and vaginal only, the focus not working all that well due to the low lighting and the resulting grain looking pretty bad. Most of it was initially shot from a static camera placed on something to offer up a medium shot of the couple, her passive performance as fake as anything I've seen in porn by some of the more notorious clock watchers that have come and gone over the years.

Mindy McCready with Peter

She did blow his extremely modest pecker and took a break from the action (either edited to drag out the sexual portions or resulting from actual breaks where she would badmouth others too). When she had no makeup on or during the final interview (where she drank water thankfully, given her reaction to alcohol as reported in the press), Mindy looked haggard but she is not the youthful character Clemens met any longer, the gal even dumb enough to throw Oprah Winfrey under the bus regarding a racist comment. In all though, this was an incomplete look at a wannabe celebrity trying desperately to cling to her past successes, the lack of a pop shot showing genetic juice of population pudding gracing her mug probably weakening it for most folks. Having watched it a few times for this review, I can also say that it looked calculated for release so her cries of theft (Mindy has publicly complained the tape was stolen 3 years ago) and her lawyer's comments about Vivid's owner appear false. If you like gals that are marginally appealing on a physical level, Mindy is almost up to the grade of a recovering alcoholic soccer mom in her late thirties but only on a bet or if you're desperate.

Summary: Mindy McCready: Baseball Mistress by Vivid will no doubt appeal to fans of the celebrity porn market scrapping the bottom of the barrel for the latest fourth tier singer/reality television monkey performer willing to do anything to grasp at the straws of infamy but as a porno, I rated it as a Skip It. So, if you're into the genre like a slavering fanboy it will be a "must have" but the technical limitations and weakness of the staged interview were such that you won't be missing much otherwise. In short, give Mindy McCready: Baseball Mistress a look if this kind of thing works for you just don't expect any sexual satisfaction if you watch it, the reports from TMZ and Spike TV about the matter more interesting (and strokable) from my perspective.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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