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Hair Force One Vol. 5

Studio: Third Degree Films » Review by Addison DeLick » Review Date: 5/22/10

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

2009, 107 mins., plus extras
Director: Patrixxx
With: Allison, Amanda Vamp, Lexi Belle, Luscious Eden, Winnie; J.J., George Uhl, Martin Schneider, James Deen

As hairy-pussy features go, this one grows better as it goes along. Five very hot and sexy girls with varying levels of hirsuteness each has a scene of one-on-one action with a lucky guy. In straight-to-the-point fashion, there is no dialogue to speak of, just some half-hearted scene setups to lead right into the action. The few snatches of words that can be heard seem to be heavily accented in an Eastern European kind of way (except for the all-American Lexi Belle and James Deen). Every scene includes lots of cunnilingus, fellatio and humpty humpty, with four of the five guys piping their frosting onto the hairpie.

Scene 1. Slender blonde beauty Allison is happily posing for a photographer, and soon slips out of her pink see-through top and white jeans and is spreading wide for the lapping lensman. She has sparse, light-brown pubes, but her pussy is by any measure undeniably beautiful.

Scene 2. A doctor is in his office when a model-tall nurse enters, wearing pink vinyl top and bottom and matching heels. Standard medical office attire -- in Latvia, maybe. They kiss, they suck, they fuck. Amanda Vamp has a wet, sloppy down-there, and a nice messy collection of stray pubes on her inner thighs.

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Scene 3. Lovely Lexi Belle, sporting long blonde extensions, writhes around on a bed in her undies, smiling into the camera as she strips down and masturbates. Enter James Deen for some licks at the labia, a prelude to a generally hot fuck-and-suck session.
Scene 4. A muscled guy wearing a Santa cap is muttering his Christmas wish list. "And I vonna nice girl, big boobs and hairy pussy." Poof -- here she is, in the person of giggly, buxom beauty Luscious Eden, also sporting a Santa outfit, which, when unwrapped by Dork, reveals a nice spread of undergrowth. In addition to hot oral and vag action, Luscious also enjoys some extended anal.
Scene 5. Meet Winnie, a young Juliette Lewis type, wearing a pink see-through cami and pink see-through panties that cover her epic rug about as well as Car and Driver covers golf. She poses for us, pulling the panties high up into her camel toe. She sits and masturbates until some guy pops in, removes the threads and eats away. Dark, dense and thick is the bush that stirs men's souls, and fans of the pie will deem Winnie a winna.
                                                        THE DVD
Shot decently enough in standard video and presented in 16:9 widescreen, "Hair Force One Volume 5" is a decent treat for the eyes. The filmmakers know what twat watchers want and give it to them with lots of lingering gyno close-ups.
The disc is truly standard. The main menu offers a single hard-action screen, and offers Play Movie, Scene Selection and Bonus Features. Each scene frame is live action and identifies the girl involved.

You also get a photo gallery, cum shot loop and five 3rd Degree trailers that play automatically one after the other: "Cheaters: Caught or Not," "Cum to Momma 2," "Finger Licking Good 6," "Sweet Cream Pies 5" and "Tits Ahoy 8."
                                                THE LAST WORD

One girl here has the goods to truly qualify as a star in the hairy pussy universe, two others are moderately bushy, and two more don't really belong on this disc, unless you consider any pubic hair, no matter how sparse, to be eye-grabbing. Next to no effort has gone into writing and acting, but that probably won't matter to most fans who pick up this disc based on the title. Utterly generic, but that last girl, Winnie, is worth waiting for -- or fast-forwarding to.

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