Bluuuuue fiiiiilteeeer... here we are in Los Angeles, with a vanishing car.
Nothing says porn like blue filters and vanishing cars.
Out of work L.A. actor dude enters a warehouse, where a bound blond awaits.
Apparently they borrowed the cameras from a soap opera, because everything's in flattering soft focus.
So she writhes around on the table trying to avoid his touches, but then she sucks on his finger. Those are mixed messages! Eh, women, am I right?
More finger sucking, and then he doesn't know how to have sex. I kid. Kagney has some serious stubble and some seriously dark roots. Time to visit the salon, hon.
Out of work L.A. actor does weird dancing pussy lips maneuver.
Insert your own calliope music here. Hilarity ensues!
Kagney starts sucking on his cock, but it's really hard to tell if she's any good. The angle is horrible - nobody can suck cock at that angle. He keeps sticking his fingers in her mouth too, so I think he has some kind of fixation.
Then he unties her arms and loosely wraps the ropes around his cock. Oooookay...
She keeps sucking as well as she can, which isn't that well. It's not her fault! I know how hard that is to do! They then switch positions somewhat, but she still can't really get it in her mouth at that angle either.
The poor dear keeps acting like she's having the time of her life. Too bad I know better.
Finally he starts to tease her pussy with his cock. Honestly I'm starting to wonder if he wants to have sex with her. Then he actually does start to fuck her, but the angle is still not that great and it's pretty dark.
Eventually it gets brighter and he starts fucking her harder. Her glowy boobs are a little distracting, but I'll let it slide.
On the sixth day, the Lord sayeth Kagney shall hath some glo-boobs.
She finally gets into a better cock sucking position and she does pretty well. I'd give her a B. The bra comes off and her tits are ginormous! I approve, and I hope she mailed her surgeon an appropriate thank-you card.
And on the seventh day the Lord doth sayeth, Kagney shall hath amazing implants, and yea, she shall set them free. And they were
Some slightly strange doggie style positions follow, and some titty fucking. She drools on her own boobs and then he cums in her mouth. It's nice and thick... and she spits it out. I mean all of it, too. She doesn't swallow a drop. Points lost!
Next up, the unfortunately named Mandy Dee. No, seriously. Say it. See what I mean? What was she going for with this name, exactly? Man DD? Like, a man with huge tits? I don't get it.
Anyway, we start off in a hotel room where she's all dressed up with heels and sparkly jewelry and she's being rebuffed by the sleeping man next to her, who is clearly gay or he'd be fucking her.
The closer the camera gets, the more he keeps poorly pretending to sleep.
So she's bored and starts pleasuring herself, as slutty girls are wont to do when trapped in hotel rooms with gay men.
She magically procures a vibrator that matches her outfit exactly and starts fucking herself with it. The music is apparently from Metroid. Space pirates are coming, sexy girl, watch out!
And I'm bored.
-- sponsored by --
Next she pulls a business card out from a drawer and makes a call on her iPhone. Can this scene get any better??
A creepy, ostensibly straight man shows up, and she pays him with gay European dollars. The straight man seems disturbed by the gay man in bed. She shoves the gay man out and he starts watching the straight people while they get busy.
She starts sucking his cock, although it's one of those horrible hand/blowjobs. The gay man is clearly checking out the straight man's bottom. LOL.
We see where you're looking, friend.
She finally takes her hand off the cock, and the music stopped, so we know the Metroid's been defeated.
Mandy has pretty nice tits, and then the straight guy starts banging her in the ass. Well, the gay guy coulda probably handled that but... well, whatever. She's also not that well shaved. Huh. He really does bang her ass good though, so points for that. Interestingly, they're going back and forth between ass and pussy. You don't see that too often.
And he cums all over her pussy... and then keeps fucking her ass! Boy, I guess 400 euros gets you a lot of action.
She does go ass to mouth, but the camera angles are horrible. It's not all that clear that's what she was doing.
Now she calls over the gay man, and he starts doing her... in the ass! Haaaa. And she keeps sucking on the other guy and he remains Viagra-hard even though he already came. Impressive.
She continues to be quite awful at oral, which is a shame. And now I'm getting bored, because this scene is really long. Still, the sex is pretty good.
Gay man finally comes in her ass. Well, kind of. She's got a little gape going on so it kind of drips in there. It's kinda cool, although it's a bit watery as far as cumshots go.
Watery, but I'll take it.
Then ostensibly straight man cums again too, all over her ass. Dayum. OK, I gotta be impressed with that.
Again the guys try to get their cocks into her mouth in impossible ways. Finally they figure it out, but by this time the scene's over. Whew.
Slow mo shots of Stracy. Snoooore... and suddenly there's two men in tuxedos.
None of this strikes me as particularly evil, but what do I know?
Stracy starts off with a classic hand/blowjob. Oh dear oh dear. She then starts licking their cocks at the same time, which is boring. She starts to do a little better when she starts servicing them one on one. She's quite pretty, and when she starts getting fucked, she does much better with the sucking briefly. I like her boobs too.
Points to Stracy for being the hottest of the hotties in this movie. Mmm.
Then she goes back to bad blowjobs. I sense she just doesn't want to apply herself. However, she does seem to have done a better job in the personal hygiene category - I didn't notice any razor burn or bumps.
Tattoo guy cums all over her boobs and we're only 20 minutes in. It's pretty watery though. She then fucks the other guy for a while since tattoo guy has left the room, probably to go ask Mandy how she beat Metroid.
Then the other guy cums all over her pussy too while yelling, "Yes yes yes!" in hilarious fashion. Seriously. I LOL'd.
But then he goes back in! Interesting. This is apparently a feature of this particular porn. Then Stracy pulls some cum up from her pussy to eat it. Bonus points! And the scene is over.
What's with all the watery spooge, fellas?
Paulina is doing a photo shoot and gets turned on simply by touching her own gorgeous body. She does a little striptease type action and then starts sucking off the photographer. She is the best cocksucker yet. Winner!
Unfortunately she spends far too little time sucking. They're already to the fucking part. I don't really get how this dude can be under lights in a SWEATER while having sex and still be able to maintain an erection. What is this I don't even...
Oh, we do find out that the only thing between her and him was a thin layer of gabardine... I guess if you go without undies, you are automatically much cooler? Who knew?
She's actually a little slip of a thing so while he's fucking her I wonder how much of his giant cock she can actually take.
Tiny little pixies need cock too.
He cums on her face, and she's spitting it all out too. Booooo...
Another photo shoot! Maya starts out much the same way as the last girl - stripping, playing with herself, and... um, there's a dude in the background. Is he supposed to be there? OK, he comes up behind her and starts playing with her, but for a minute there I was like, "Who the fuck is that creeper?"
Creeping creeper is creepy.
So lube and a glass dildo appear out of nowhere and the dildo goes in her ass. And then she sucks on it. Well I never. Oh wait, yes I have.
Then she starts fucking herself in the ass with the dildo and creeper has a pretty well shaved dick. Maya does pretty well with the cocksucking. She's also very expressive. I really like her facial expressions. She looks like she's having fun, which is so, so rare. But she does make some weird noises, and her laughing is kind of annoying.
Maya actually smiles a lot and has a good time and has a lot of great facial expressions. But this was not one of them.
The dude fucks her in the pussy and then we move on to ass fucking. There was a little bit of cum in her ass, and then there was a cut up to her face and he cums a little bit there.
I don't get these chicks. They go ass to mouth, but they don't swallow. Stop that!! And back off from the major close up! Jeebus.
Cumshot recap, photo gallery, trailers
All pretty standard, really.
The hits: Girls are hot and fairly talented, lots of ass to mouth. Extra points to Stracy for being extra hot and being the only one to swallow cum (and she had to scoop it off her abdomen to get it).
The misses: A little too much of the hand/blowjobs, and waaaay too much unswallowed cum. The soap opera fuzzy focus crap ruined Kagney's scene... at times between that and the overexposed contrast you couldn't even see what was going on or appreciate her hotness. Minus points to Stracy for bringing down her hotness and the best scene in the movie by not being able to give great head. Get some lessons, girl!
Final grade: C+
I'm not sure what makes any of this "evil", especially as the cover touts how it's the girls filthiest and raunchiest fantasies. If that's true, these are likely all uptight prudish church girls. The scenes were mostly all right, but they weren't what I'd call "filthy" or "raunchy" or, um... "evil".
It's not the best porn I've seen, but you could certainly do a lot worse.