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Diabolic Big Ass Amateurs

Studio: Diabolic » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 6/14/10

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Diabolic Big Ass Amateurs


Genre: Newcomers

Director: Sid Knox

Cast: Brandy, Levine, Chelsea Mourning, Sonny Hicks, Janie Lane, Andy, Lizz Tayler, Daniel Hunter, Natalie, Rollin J.

Length: 123:41 minutes


Date of Production: 2010

Extras: There was a slip cover, a photogallery, but no pop shot recap from the scenes as advertised.

Condoms: None

Chelsea Mourning

Audio/Video Quality: Diabolic Big Ass Amateurs was presented in a very appealing 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen color as shot by director Sid Knox for Diabolic using the MPEG-2 codec for the standard definition release (using a standard 480 resolution). The lighting was usually optimal and it generally limited the grain, video noise, and shadows other productions seem unable to get rid of far too often; the crotches again not as consistently well lit as they should have been. The composition of the shots weren't always completely flattering to the ladies but at least there was rarely any doubt about what was going on and where it was going; given the quality of the cast, this made it more enjoyable too. The fleshtones were generally accurate and the bitrate hovered in the low 3.1 Mbps area so it did not look great but aside from the light haze here, it was okay. There were no compression artifacts and the visuals were generally handled pretty well here. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English using the standard 192 Kbps bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate of most productions. The music was generic but the vocals; while plain as could be, could be heard in almost all cases; only slightly hollow at times when the ladies were making it clear their limits were being pushed.

Janie Lane

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Body of Review: Sid Knox is one of the directors finding a home at Diabolic, his best works showing that he is a capable guy behind the camera when the casting is just right. One of the genres of porn that I do not associate with the man is the newcomer variety, showcasing women lacking experience in hopes of finding the next big name. Sid's attempt in this realm is Diabolic Big Ass Amateurs, my expectation being that the ladies all have large, shapely asses to admire being central to my appreciation. To be frank about it though, newcomers are rarely good on camera, still learning what works and what doesn't from the people behind the scenes, most such series falling flat in my experience. The first impression I had this time was that the ladies might be coming from Europe and the guys working with them were boyfriends given how poorly they performed too but these were all domestic gals. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Lizz Tayler

Scene One: Brandy, a brunette with decent tits and appearing a lot like a generic stripper at a decent club, was up first with her boyfriend Levine (no, he is not "Howard Levine"). She wore a short black dress and matching thong, her purple bra barely holding in her implants as she began stripping. She appeared to enjoy the exposure and masturbated realistically, making time with Levine after getting all juiced up. To be fair, I'd have hit it on a slow night at a local bar but her performance was too dependent on the mope she was with, his small pecker hardly a challenge for her to suck, the vaginal penetration very passive in most positions when she wasn't on top. There was taste testing between positions and they seemed to care for one another but this was barely one step above the crappy looking amateur porn (as if shot by a moderately competent crew without preparation). It ended when he unloaded his wad of genetic juice into her mouth, the gal swallowing it as best I could tell.


Scene Two: Chelsea Mourning, a red head wearing a pink bikini outfit, was up next with no formal warning with a guy named Sonny Hicks. If the last gal showed some potential, this one had a harder edge to her, even the solo work not looking realistic at all. She was clean shaven and had all natural tits but Sonny treated her like she was seriously hot, a distinction I just did not agree with in the slightest. He ate her out and she reciprocated with the seasoned skills of a professional escort, at least her ass fulfilling the needed mass to qualify for the title. In the penetration, she appeared about as enthusiastic as if she were at the dentist too, the sweat covering her looking as if it came from worry rather than friction. Regardless, her mope tossed off a round of population pudding to her mouth to finish things up, her swallowing not hurting the quality of the scene but certainly not enough to compensate either.

Scene Three: Janie Lane, a plain chick with a big ass, was up next with balding mope Andy, the guy looking more like one of those guys you bump into coming out of low tier porn houses. While I can honestly say that she had no physical appeal to me facially, her ass was fleshy and she sported a big patch of pubic hair for the fetish crowd. She masturbated without any emotion whatsoever, her naked boyfriend soon blown to erection in a display of boredom, the guy charitably as small as I have seen in a very long time. She took awhile to excite him here, her hand covering him completely when she jerked him off. She did actively ride the cock vaginally but I doubt she felt much given his size, the camera catching her ass pumping on his lap and in other positions, the lack of heat weakening the action. It ended when he tossed off his sperm to her titty, the gal still acting like nothing happened.

Scene Four: Lizz Tayler, the cute gal on the front cover, was up next as her bikini top and cut apart jeans enhanced her figure on the couch with eight month boyfriend Daniel Hunter. There was an interview and they discussed her dancing, her ass on the small side but his oral on her about as straightforward as could be once she masturbated. She was easily the best looking gal of the bunch even if her ass was not exactly "big", the gal dispensing with the blowjob quickly to actively ride his cock fairly well. He smacked her ass to encourage her and she did okay, also showing untapped potential worth developing. The scene ended when he jerked off to her torso, some of the splooge landing on her face.

Scene Five: Natalie, a girl next door with a fair body and average face, was up last with her boy toy Rollin J., his propensity for toking almost a given. She had a fair ass but nowhere near a "Briana Love" ass as suggested by the cameraman. The striptease was mechanical and she followed the formula, masturbating until he went down on her. They then screwed vaginally and she was not typically an active rider, acting as though she were counting sheep or something while he banged away on her body. She got better with time but she almost appeared afraid to let loose, hampering her ability to appeal to me. The pop shot went to her back, oozing down her ass when they were finished.

Summary: Diabolic Big Ass Amateurs by director Sid Knox for Diabolic was not his best work, the performances as unbelievably weak as I feared going into the show so I rated it as a Skip It. It looked like there might be an attempt to imitate certain aspects of popular newcomer series but that idea slipped away when it was obviously such a generic showing. In short, Diabolic Big Ass Amateurs was barely one step apart from shows of this nature shot by other amateurs, the ladies all looking at least a little worn except maybe Lizz Tayler (the cutie on the front cover), and the missing extra advertised on the back cover sticking out like a sore thumb. Maybe if each scene had someone capable of working their partner to the fullest it might have worked better but I still have my doubts.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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