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Hustler's Pumped Up
images courtesy of Hustler
Hustler had been a trendsetter in adult entertainment for longer than most women in porn have been alive, the longevity of the company due in part to the way it evolves over time. There is a large market for dirty smut of all sorts so it came as no shocker that the company would commission a line of sex toys branded with their name, my belief that future toys improve over time with consumer input such as what you will find in reviews like this one. My latest reviews of the Rebel Rocket, Bang Bang Bullet, Naughty Pom Pom, and the 7" Rocker Vibe all had one thing in common; they were designed to sexually stimulate a woman rather than a man, my latest acquisition of the Pumped Up, something new.
While the name invokes ideas of working out or nutritional supplements, the Pumped Up is anything but that, the toy being the latest version of penis pump on the market. Depending on whom you talk to, these devices can add length & girth to your penis or simply tear the fleshy material contained inside your penis, few credible medical tests performed on them in the USA. Like anything else, there is a market for the possibility of getting a bigger erection no matter what hokey science is used, my own answer to that concept being looking for smaller pussies so my modest member looks bigger and the sex feels better. Given that this is not always an option for some of you, I tried to evaluate the toy simply as a sexual novelty, noting that the buyer should beware of any device they wrap around their pecker be it for pleasure or to expand their horizons (so to speak).
The tube is about 8" long and 2.5" in diameter, a tube with a suction bulb attached to it easily placed at the end so that air can be sucked out of the tube while your penis is in it, the resulting suction reminding me of a good blowjob in some ways. For those of you on the small side, there is also a soft, "skin safe" plastic insert so that a better seal will assist in your endeavors. As with the far more expensive versions by other companies, there is also a safety release valve by the squeeze bulb, my number one concern being that a good seal can result in physical harm if you take things too far. Otherwise, the components are advertised as phthalate free, able to burn off 125 calories an hour, and waterproof, with no batteries needed. It comes in a cylindrical plastic container that is essentially disposable and will likely remain in a landfill for thousands of years, made in China but assembled in the USA if that helps you any.
An intermediate device out of Hustler's three tier system, care should be taken, the instruction manual suggesting you seek a doctor's permission before using the pump, I just can't imagine someone doing so in real life out of the dread you will be committed. Nadine wasn't as much help this time, the device specifically engineered for a penis and the gal thankfully lacking one. She did point out it could be used on a clitoris, tits, and even an asshole if someone were to angle it properly, happily assisting me with it even before she tossed aside the optional insert (and I quote: "Baby, there is no way that is gonna fit on your cock..."). A bit overly anxious, she of course went too far with it initially and after I winced at how the combination of pleasure and pain leaned heavily toward the latter, I had to admit that my dick did look bigger than usual. The effect was not long lasting and the pain went away after a time, but it terms of sexual gratification, I got more out of her hand lubed up to get me off than the pump itself.
My general belief on penis pumps is that they are potentially dangerous and unless you are experienced with them, any pleasure is relatively fleeting, so I gave this otherwise decent low cost version of one a rating of either Skip It for the general population or perhaps a qualified Recommended if you know your limits and act accordingly. It was fun using on Nadine though so as a gender neutral toy, it had additional merits outside of most penetrative devices, my beliefs that the down sides outweigh the up sides of such toys, my initial rating reflecting that. Lastly, the Pumped Up had a solid level of suction stronger than my expectations so even a seasoned professional like myself could end up causing permanent damage with it under the right circumstances, buyer beware of your own libido.
For other great choices in porn, check out: Top 10 Adult DVDs of 2011, Best Porn Parodies of 2011 and Top 10 Adult DVDs of 2010, Top 10 Porn Parodies of 2010.
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