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Breakfast Club, The: XXX


Studio: New Sensations » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 7/21/10



XCritic's Advice: Recommended


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The Breakfast Club XXX: A XXX Parody

New Sensations

Genre: Porn Parody


Director: Lee Roy Myers

Cast: Syren Sexton, Sonny Hicks, Samantha Ryan, Chad Alva, Tessa Taylor, Breanne Benson, Brooke Van Buuren, Levi Cash, Andy San Dimas, Faye Reagan

Length: 136:41 minutes

cute quote

Date of Production: 3/28/2010 to 3/31/2010

Extras: This was one of the big titles of the year for the company so it got the double disc treatment, starting off the second disc with a 88:47 minute long "party version" of the movie. This was kind of cool, though an explanation as to the difference between the regular version would have been nice. That was followed by 41:22 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Ralph Long that included some comments by the cast telling of their roles was well handled. There was an unrelated bonus scene between Andy San Dimas and Tommy Gunn in a POV scene from "Schoolgirl POV #7" as well, lasting 23:47 minutes. Then came a pop shot recap, 4:38 minutes of outtakes, a bunch of sitcum trailers, spam, and an iPod compatible version of the movie on DVD Rom. In all, it was a great selection of extras, most of them related too.

Condoms: None

Syren Sexton

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Audio/Video Quality: The Breakfast Club XXX: A XXX Parody was presented in a sharp looking 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen picture as shot by director Lee Roy Myers for New Sensations using the MPEG-2 codec with 480 resolution. The movie took many liberties in this pornified version, the net result being better than expected of this adult parody of the John Hughes classic 80's flick. There were few compression artifacts and the video bitrate seemed to hover around the 4.3 Mbps, the fluid camerawork not even close to the technical attributes of the original but still a step up from many of the sitcum parodies on the market at this writing. The editing by Gabrielle Anex enhanced the final product and while it hardly compared to some of Myers most recent efforts, fans of the genre should be pleased. The company logo was always present in the lower right hand corner with a light watermark but it wasn't obtrusive except in a few of the sex scenes. The SD audio was presented in a standard 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 192 Kbps bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate, no separation between the channels, a limited dynamic range, and sound-alike music to fit the bill of the original. In all then, the show was a cute send up to a popular movie, the technical aspects capably handled and up to Myers' usual standards in most ways, the material thankfully not a mimic of the original flick too closely (moving to a college, for example).

Samantha Ryan with Chad Alva

Body of Review: Lee Roy Myers is one of the most renowned directors of the recent porn parody craze, his works at New Sensations helping to collectively jumpstart an industry that was quickly becoming the victim of its own success. His latest movie coming my way for review is The Breakfast Club XXX: A XXX Parody, borrowing heavily from elements of the 1980's John Hughes classic teen angst flick but making all the needed adjustments to pornify the subject matter of five stereotypical teens (the Brain, the Jock, the Criminal, the Princess, and the Weirdo) who are forced to confront their inner demons one Saturday while being punished for a host of offenses at their local college. I'm not going to detail the attempts at witty dialogue for you, though some of it was quite good, nor am I going to be one of the assholes that tells you far too much about the story and sex, preferring to provide an overview to help people make their own minds up instead. This pointed out; the acting was a few notches above your usual sitcum, the nods to sexuality interlaced with the kind of exchanges Hughes probably never dreamed of back in the day. Contrary to what you may have heard, none of the cast stood head & shoulders above the rest either, the ensemble effort allowing each to shine on their own merits in a fairly consistent manner for a change.

Tessa Taylor, Breanne Benson, and Brooke Van Buuren

The back box cover described the movie like this: "From New Sensations, the studio that brought you the hit parodies The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody & The Office: A XXX Parody, comes a Sexy Spoof of one of the most Awesome movies of all time in The Breakfast Club: A XXX Parody When five College students are forced to spend their Saturday in detention, they think that it is going to be, like, a total bummer. But instead it turns out to be a total Fuckfest! Watch the school's star athlete putting the winning moves on the Sexy & quirky Loner; then check out the Renegade getting Pretty deep in Pink when he finally hooks up with the Popular Girl; and witness the class Geek popping cherries in his "totally-not-fake" memory of Niagara Falls! Throw in some perky cheerleader group sex with a beautiful Dean that has an insatiable craving for cock, and you've got the sexiest day ever spent in a library since... ever! Teen angst has never been so funny & steamy as it is in The Breakfast Club: A XXX Parody!" Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Andy San Dimas with Levi Cash

Scene One: Syren Sexton, a sexy blond Brit with pretty eyes, was up first as the fantasy girl of Sonny "The Brain" Hicks, her lips wrapping around his pecker as she looked up at him in admiration. His cock might have been on the small side but she made ample use of it, inhaling the little guy and using some hand to gland action while kneeling down before him in the generic motel room at "Niagara Falls". Her skirt and top were soon on the floor as she jumped into bed for him to orally service too, leading to some moderately active vaginal positions. The downside of the situation was that he was barely erect and it weakened the scene, the lack of personal chemistry between the pair slightly compensated for by how hot she looked and sounded (I'm a fan of accents like hers, go figure). It ended when he rubbed out a wad of genetic juice to her chest, the lovely lady providing some post coital head.

Faye Reagan

Scene Two: Samantha "The Dean" Ryan, playing the rigid disciplinarian in charge of the detention, was up next as she took Chad "The Criminal" Alva into her office. He had flouted her authority one too many times, her desire to teach the bad boy a lesson resulting in her business suit ending up on the floor as she stripped and they kissed. His role was probably the easiest of the entire movie, the man making his move sexually by pawing her pantied pussy and going down on her. She reciprocated by slobbing his knob aggressively, her pent up hostility unleashed as she throated his rod while looking up at him. There was a degree of chemistry here missing from the first scene that I appreciated, the messy blowjob leading to a series of fairly active vaginal penetrations before he jerked off to her face. I think it would have worked better to have him pounding deep inside of her ass but Samantha's all natural body still looks good after all these years in the business.

Scene Three: Tessa Taylor, Breanne Benson, and Brooke Van Buuren, were up next as a trio of cheerleaders in search of locker-room cock from Levi "The Jock" Cash. The ladies were equally adept at blowing him as they were with eating pussy, the gals sharing everything that came their way orally as well as vaginally. The fun factor was very high here but the camera was too heavily geared towards close up shots, reducing the benefit of the collateral action too much for me to leave it be. On a positive note, the gals seemed pretty happy with getting their share of pussy and cock, enthusiastically riding his dick and munching on rug with equal vigor, none of them standing out from the proceeding but none coming across as out of place either. The straightforward tryst included a lot of taste testing and ended when they knelt in front of him to receive his modest nut of splooge to cumswap and share.

Scene Four: Andy San Dimas, playing the "weirdo" very closely to Alley Sheedy's original, was up next in the library with jock Levi Cash, the two kissing before he felt her up. That led to him going down on her and groping her chest, her lips soon wrapped around his boner for an active blowjob. While certainly not on par with some of her recent gonzo work, she was sexually passionate here, showing a modicum of chemistry for the guy even before the messy hummer evolved into an active set of vaginal rides. Her dirty talk was pretty sweet and he came all over her ass when he was finished drilling her as hard as he could.

Scene Five: Faye "The Princess" Reagan, was up last as she let herself move past her inhibitions to spread her legs for bad boy Chad Alva, the moper taking advantage of the moment to go down on her at length. In keeping with the modified nature of the parody, her character was not nearly as uptight as Molly Ringwald's original, the gal even tasting her own juices off his fingers before chowing down on his cock with a short but sweet blowjob. He then kissed her fleshy ass and tits which led to a limited amount of vaginal plowing, Faye as active as each position allowed but not at her very best. Chad soon jerked off to her upper torso, Faye tasting the remains oozing down her body.

Summary: The Breakfast Club XXX: A XXX Parody by director Lee Roy Myers for New Sensations was one of the more charming parodies of a classic movie that I've seen, lacking a bit in terms of the sexual elements but certainly making up for it in the homage to the original situations and dialogue. The extras package was decent and the technical matters handled very competently by all involved, the casting sealing the deal to make this worthy of being Recommended or better depending on your own degree of appreciation for the porn parody genre. In short, The Breakfast Club XXX: A XXX Parody might not be as good as The Big Lebowski XXX was but it was entertaining beyond the mere sexual portions of the flick with the liberties taken showing a lot of creativity on the part of the production team so check it out.


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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon



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