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Uncle Jesse Is A Dirty Old Man

Studio: Amateur District » Review by Vincent Pierce » Review Date: 8/23/10

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Genre: Mature, Older Men, 18+ Teens

Director: David Slaughter

Cast: Britney Madison, Claire James, Devlyn Lace, Holly Day, Jewelz, Lexi Matthews, Missy Monroe, Misty Mendez, Morgan March, Tawny Bryant, Uncle Jesse

Date of Production: 5/4/2000 - 6/8/2010

Length: 1 hr. 58 mins.

Audio/Video: The Audio is ok, but you can hear Uncle Jesse better than you can some of the girls. The video quality varies in some scenes, but is ok for the most part. The scenes are displayed in a fullscreen ratio/format.

Overview: This is a tribute DVD all about Uncle Jesse, and the lovely ladies of porn he shares the screen with. The whole DVD is an older guy with younger ladies type of deal. The male role in each, and every scene is played by Uncle Jesse himself, and most of the girls seem to be amateurs to the adult scene.

Girl #1:

This scene is pretty straightforward. You have Uncle Jesse, who is pretty much naked from the start, and a young starlet with short, dark hair who is trying to get into the business of porn. She jokes around about this with Uncle Jesse as she's suking his rather large cock. The two talk back and forth as the BJ is taking place. If the girl didn't talk so softly this scene may have been better. I was also looking forward to seeing some sex in this scene, but the closest it got to it was some tit jobs. The scene was rather short in length, but the ending cumshot was pretty good, I just wish they would have stayed focused on the girl's face a bit longer. Uncle Jesse had given her a very thick cumshot all over her mouth area, and some even got on one of her eyelids. Overall it was a decent BJ scene.

Girl #2:

In this scene we find Uncle Jesse in the company of two lovely blonde haired girls, watching the television while he is butt naked. Soon after the scene begins the true subject of the video walks into the room, a rather thin black haired girl. The two girls who were already in the room joke around a bit, playing with Uncle Jesse's dong while the the main girl gets undressed. This scene is entirely shot in POV style (Point of View). This not only includes the awkward, and somewhat lengthy BJ part, but also the cowgirl, missionary, and doggystyle sex. There's two main issues I have with this scene. The fact that the camera quality is horrible, and the poor POV angles. I did however enjoy the ending cumshot. The girl got her mouth frosted with Uncle Jesse's cum, and then acted shy in front of the camera covering her eyes. She even giggled a bit with her mouth closed, so the cum wouldn't get in her mouth. It's an ok scene, but it would have been a lot better if the video quality was more clear.

Girl #3:

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This scene begins with Uncle Jesse being videotaped by the girl while he is stripping off his clothes. The girl this time is a beautiful girl with short blonde hair. For most of the scene she acts like she doesn't want anything to do Uncle Jesse. She must have been in it for the moolah? Anyways, the BJ is quite bland, and you can tell the girl is not into what she's doing. At one point she gets a little choked while sucking. The scene seemed to drag on forever. If the girl had of been more into the scene it would have made a great deal of difference, but unfortunately she wasn't. Another thing that made this scene a failure was the ending cumshot. Not only did the girl block the cumshot from her face, but someone videotaped a close-up of Uncle Jesse's dick while he was ejaculating. It was rather nasty, and quite disturbing to say the least. This was definitely not a good scene.

Girl #4:

This time around Uncle Jesse is paired with a girl that is taller than he is. She's a rather tall and trim blonde, and she doesn't seem to mind Uncle Jesse's company at all. The scene went rather smoothly, although it was just a BJ scene. The girl had some serious sucking skills, and even willingly let Uncle Jesse cum on her mouth at the end. I noticed something rather odd, if you watch the background closely you'll notice that it changes from an outdoor setup to an indoor one. It still has the same girl, but it appears the spliced the scene a bit? The only problem I can say I had with this scene was the fact that the video quality would change sometimes, from good to poorer. Still, It was a great scene, and it was bit odd about the splicing bit ...

Girl #5:

Girl number 5, is a rather lanky newcomer. She is blonde, and quite energetic. The scene seems to take place in what I presume is Uncle Jesse's place, as all of the other scenes seem to be shot at the same location with the same black leather sofas. This was another all blowjob scene with a titjob thrown in at the last minute. It seems that Uncle Jesse likes to finish the scenes that way. The girl was really into the BJ, but She wasn't really good at it. The scene seemed to be a tad bit slow. The girl did end up letting Uncle Jesse shoot his load onto her face, which seems to be his favorite thing to do. I'm going to have to say this seen was a bit awkward. For some reason the girl appeared a bit young to me, but I know the DVD companies keep the records and state that all performers in the video were of age. It creeps me out a bit though. I like for my porn stars to at least look a bit matured.

Girl #6:

The 6th girl is one of the most attractive on the DVD. She has her dark hair put up in pigtails which makes her even more sexy. The scene takes place poolside. For the first half of the scene the girl is giving a POV (Point of View) blowjob to Uncle Jesse while he's reclining in a lounge chair by the pool. The blowjob is not that impressive, there's no deepthroating. It's just mainly a handjob assisted blowjob. The second half seems to get a bit better when Uncle Jesse stands up for the remainder of the blowjob. The end cumshot was pretty much a waste. Uncle Jesse ended up shooting his wad onto the girl's neck. For some reason the girls don't seem to want his cum on their faces??? It was an ok scene, but nothing extra special.

Girl #7:

It's a red haired girl this time around. The setting is inside what appears to be the girl's home? This scene is literally like a 'home' video. Like all of the previous scenes, this is a POV (Point of View) scene. There is no sex other than the very lengthy blowjob that this scene is all about. It was actually quite enjoyable to watch. The girl kept on getting her hair in her mouth while giving the BJ, and the two joked about it a bit. I did like the ending. This time the girl got a mouthfull of spunk from Uncle Jesse. From her expression she didn't like the taste too much, and wanted the scene to end. In a kinky sort of way that made the scene more enjoyable. I've got to say I liked this scene, it's definitely one of the better ones on this DVD.

Girl #8:

This is a steamy outdoor jaccuzi scene. The girl involved is a quite attractive blonde haired girl. The POV blowjob actually takes place in the jacuzzi! Both Uncle Jesse, and the girl get in the water for this one. There's actually a lot of joking and kidding around in this one. For that reason it takes away from the blowjob. There is one point towards the end of the scene when the girl finally gets serious thta makes the scene pretty hot. The ending cumshot was another dissappointment. Uncle Jesse shoots his load onto the girl's chest, and she washes it off in the water!! I can't figure it out, but for some reason most of the girls don't even want Uncle Jesse's cum on their face? What's up with that!? It takes the fun out of the scene. I was an interesting scene, but the ending cumshot ruined it for me.

Girl #9:

This scene takes place in the same house/bedroom that the red haired girl was in. This time it's an Asian girl giving the POV blowjob to Uncle Jesse. I have to be honest, she is the most unattractive out of all of the girls, and she even keeps her clothes on! It was kind of awkward to watch, and wasn't really impressive. The girl often talked to Uncle Jesse's penis during the blowjob which was kind of weird. This was most definitely a scene this DVD could have done without.

Girl #10:

The final scene takes place in the same house, but with a more attractive Asian girl.  while the girl is giving the blowjob, Uncle Jesse keeps getting interrupted with a phone call. I thought this was pretty funny, but the scene kept it's serious tone throughout. It wasn't a bad scene, but overall it wasn't that impressive either. It did have a small variation to it, though. At one point Uncle Jesse was doing '69' with the girl. In the end Uncle Jesse got what he was longing for. A girl who would take his load in the mouth, and swallow it. With a final look into the camera, and a rather goofy grin Uncle Jesse finally looks satisfied as the scene fades out. It took ten scenes to get a worthy cumshot ending!! what a disappointment ...

Extras: The extras include 'Trailers', which are five video trailers to different available DVDs ... and 'Web Access' Which gives a website link related to this DVD.

Final Thoughts: What an utter catastrophe!! This DVD had potential written all over it (not literally), but failed miserably! What you have here is an Uncle Jesse compilation with only a handfull of worthwhile scenes. It is definitely lacking in the ending cumshot area, and the older man with a younger girl theme isn't even pleasant. For some reason nearly all of the girls didn't even want Uncle Jesse's cum near their face, and one girl even looked miserable doing the scene! The quality of some of the scenes were even on the poor side. At best, this DVD is only worth renting. what a disappointment!!!

Final Rating: Rent It

"I'm the man who coined the phrase "Same Sex Different Dame". If you're gonna produce porn PLEASE go all out, and don't fall victim to retro ruination. Innovation is king!"

- Vincent Pierce 2014 A.D.

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