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Pornstar Bootcamp

Studio: Zero Tolerance » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 8/24/10

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

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Pornstar Bootcamp

Zero Tolerance

Genre: Parody

Director: Mike Quasar

Cast: Ella Milano, Mark Wood, Andy San Dimas, Gracie Glam, Toni Ribas, Francesca Le, Tori Lux, Ashli Orion, Anthony Rosano, Amy Brooke, Marco Banderas, Mr. Pete, Dane Cross

Length: 131:26 minutes

Ella Milano with Mark Wood

Date of Production: 2010

Extras: The best extra was an exclusive blowjob scene between Katie St. Ives and Danny Mountain lasting a mere 4:48 minutes, Andy San Dimas coaxing Katie to really slob that knob with gusto before the facial she swallowed. As short as it was, at least it was exclusive to this DVD and brand new material, a far sight better than some lame old scene thrown on at the last minute. There was also a slip cover, a photogallery, a pop shot recap from the scenes, some trailers, and a Behind the Scenes feature lasting 18:46 minutes that again proved director Mike Quasar was the funniest person on the set.

Condoms: None

Andy San Dimas and Gracie Glam with Toni Ribas

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Audio/Video Quality: Pornstar Bootcamp was presented in a visually appealing anamorphic widescreen color using an aspect ratio of 1.78:1 as shot by director Mike Quasar for Zero Tolerance using the MPEG-2 codec employed by standard definition releases with a 480 resolution. The lighting was strong and even, making the production look better than most in the field are capable of offering, Mike being one of the best directors regarding technical matters you will find. The grain and video noise were negligible, Mike again providing some of the best looking smut around, there being no video noise or compression artifacts that I could see. The bitrate tended to hover around the 5.2 Mbps mark most of the time I paid any attention to it and it looked really crisp most of the time. The composition of the scenes enhanced the look of the ladies, each of them finding Mike's technical expertise matching the right look to make them look their best. The sole audio track was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English using the standard 192 Kbps rate using a 48 kHz sampling rate most titles are mastered with, the aural experience fairly limited due to the nature of the gonzo shoot. The dynamic range was as truncated as ever, the voices clearly heard and the music lightly balanced into the production with some care.

Francesca Le and Tori Lux

Body of Review: Mike Quasar has long been one of the funniest men directing porn, his works for Zero Tolerance always benefitting from his technical touches no matter what the genre. While Mike has long held that only the sex matters, he has shown a lot of skill in measuring up during the recent porn parody craze, his own works rarely as derivative as those making the biggest splashes but often more amusing for those of us that don't just skip what he calls "fast forward fodder" to see the parts we all prefer. His latest title making it to me is called Pornstar Bootcamp, a slight parody of those lame shows using military themes to push folks into doing stuff they can't seem to do on their own, aptly pornified here thanks to his witty script and a cast of lovely ladies. My first interest in this one came from a message Francesca Le sent when it was shot but seeing that Andy San Dimas was the spotlighted hotty, Gracie Glam was in a scene, and Ella Milano (a cute newcomer) was up at bat, I wanted to see if she was just blowing smoke up my ass or not. The back cover described the movie like this: "Did you ever wonder how amateurs train to become XXX goddess vixens? Get ready to find out with Pornstar Bootcamp! This twat-busting training intensive gives you full access to all the 'ins and outs' of our new recruits. These sluts are spread wide and willing to do anything to impress their "drill" sergeants who know just how to bend them over and give 'em twenty! Basic training includes cock swallowing, pussy pounding, ass-stuffing and a final round of ball juice to the tits and face!" Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Ashli Orion with Anthony Rosano

Scene One: Ella Milano, a cute newcomer that looks like she could be related to either Courtney Cummz or Delilah Strong, was up first as she was shoved over to Mark Wood by Andy for a first scene. They looked at each other outside as if they might have some fun, moving inside where she made some small talk to initiate his physical responses she so desired. This was all unnecessary of course because he was already hard when he saw her, the cute young lady stripping off her clothing as they made out on the couch, her hands roaming around his pants as he felt her tits. Her neon blue bikini undies did not last long either, her thong slightly separating her sweet ass cheeks as Mark admired her genetic makeup. While she was a bit tentative with the oral here, Ella rode him vaginally like she really wanted to get off, pumping herself on his rod as her juices freely flowed. She did a little taste testing too, ultimately earning the load of genetic juice launched to her face.

Amy Brooke with Marco Banderas

Scene Two: Andy San Dimas, the strict looking brunette drill instructor featured on the right side of the front cover, was up next with very cute babe Gracie Glam, the two joined by Toni Ribas to show how important a threesome could be. Gracie was adorned in neon pink bikini undies and Andy wore her cheap camouflage stripper outfit, Gracie stripping before blowing Toni while Andy ate her ass. Gracie's ass looked as fleshy perfect as ever, Andy's attentive tongue not causing her to lose her rhythm as she inhaled Toni's pecker. The ladies then took turns licking him before actively riding his penis, each gal showing a lot of skill as they played with his cock as much as each other. There was some taste testing and face sitting too, Andy cranking her act up a notch to show Gracie just how to succeed at milking seed. With a nod to foot fetish material and more oral, Toni finished off by rubbing out a wad of population pudding for the ladies to share, the ladies beaming at their efforts being so successful.

Scene Three: Francesca Le, a powerful sexual force regardless of gender, showed cute brunette Tori Lux that her skills with a woman are just as solid as with a man in the next scene. They were outside in a shady area, Francesca using her tongue to warm up Tori as their clothing slowly came off. Tori had more ink than I care for but the driving force of the scene was clearly Francesca, the lady going wild over the taste of pussy and ass. Tori wasn't half bad either but between the two of them, it was readily apparent who was the driving force the most. They used no toys but it fell a bit short for me since there was no conclusive ending, a common dilemma in lesbian porn.

Scene Four: Ashli Orion, another sexy young brunette with a superior ass, was up next with moper Anthony Rosano, the guy playing his role straight this time rather than interject humor of his own. His best work tends to be in non-sex roles these days, his acting ability just enough to stand out from the crowded field. While his sexual prowess was limited, he savored her ass and pussy as much as any fan would, devoting his attention to her orally as she shook her ass by the bed. They moved into a 69 position which then led to her giving him a sloppy hummer, the vaginal riding positions fairly active even if modest chemistry between them was present. She seemed to appreciate his cock regardless of its size too, clearly refraining from acting like a size queen just because he wasn't as gifted as so many of his peers. She pushed back to meet his thrusts in doggy and actually became a more consistent ride during the anal, stretching her ass cheeks apart as he pounded her backside to the best of his ability. They moved back into vaginal work before he bust a nut of splooge into her mouth, Ashli eating his semen as though it tasted fine.

Scene Five: Amy Brooke, the lean young blond featured on the lower left portion of the front cover, was up last as she decided to show Andy how much she took the lessons to heart by doing Marco Banderas, Mr. Pete, and Dane Cross all at once. They pawed her all over her body and were soon receiving her oral advances very nicely, the men surrounding her for hummers before they took turns fucking her pussy and ass. Amy continued to throat them as able too, the gal moving from a DP to becoming airtight (a penis in her mouth, pussy, and ass at the same time) as she hung on for dear life. She might not have displayed any chemistry with her partners but she was an enthusiastic spitfire all the same, cleaning them off and receiving their semen orally at the end with a load to her crotch and two to her face.

Summary: Pornstar Bootcamp by director Mike Quasar for Zero Tolerance was more of a loosely knit set of five scenes than a true parody in the sense that the industry has become accustomed to but it was still rife with laughs and heated sex, the replay value and strokable content earning a healthy rating of Recommended or better, depending on how much you enjoy the ladies of the cast. The addition of a short bonus blowjob scene shot just for this release did not hurt the extras rating in the slightest and Mike's grasp of the technical matters again helped make it stand out in some ways. In short, Pornstar Bootcamp was one of the better attempts at a creative compromise between the plethora of parodies copying television shows and the outright free form features a few companies still provide, the director joined by a fine cast to make it well worth checking into for your personal entertainment purposes.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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