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Studio: Cal Vista Classic » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 9/8/10

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

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Metro/Cal Vista

Genre: Parody

Directors: Erica McLean & Carlos Batts

Cast: Aiden Starr, Andy San Dimas, Sunny Lane, Otto Bauer, April Flores, CJ Wright, Mikey Butders (as Mike Pacino), Katie St. Ives, Seth Gamble, Evan Stone, Kimberly Kane
Non-sex roles by Nicki Hunter, James Bartholet, Juan Commie, Dirt & Bank, Young Cuz,

Length: 101:30 minutes

Andy San Dimas and Aiden Starr

Date of Production: 11/18/2009

Extras: The extras were largely confined to the second disc, my "screener copy" clearly marked even on each of the extras. The disc started with a music video by Dirt & Bank (nope, I haven't heard of them either) rapping a piece called "Yeah I" with some footage from the movie and performers added into the 4:01 minute long ditty. There was then a 20:32 minute long featurette photoshoot starring Sunny Lane with the mighty Evan Stone joining her for a short tryst as the pictures was shot. Then came a 12:29 minute long Behind the Scenes feature that focused mostly on makeup and clothing, the rap guys joining and some on the scene material tossed in as well. There was then a photogallery, some more spam, 16:49 minutes of trailers, and a clip promoting Go Flix. The slip cover protecting the case was appealing and included a fold out cover to show some explicit nudity as shot for the movie.

Condoms: None

Sunny Lane with Otto Bauer

-- sponsored by --

Audio/Video Quality: Alice was presented in an anamorphic widescreen color as shot by directors Erica McLean & Carlos Batts for Metro/Cal Vista to be released in this MPEG-2 encoded standard definition release. The video bitrate tended to be around the 4.9 Mbps mark when I spot checked it, the extensive use of video effects and camera tricks weakening many portions of the visual experience if you prefer well lit, straightforward looking porn. On the other hand, if you like something that looks like you are tripping on your substance of choice from time to time, you could do far worse than this one, the grain and video noise typically seen in particular scenes where it is understandable, if not welcome. The editing by Paige Blanc was choppy at best, appearing rushed, and the cinematography was all over the place, many aspects appearing to be driven by Batts' love of "alt-porn" standards that have all but been dismissed from mainstream porn for some time now. The aural experience was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 48 kHz sampling rate and 192 Kbps audio bitrate, a rap song by Dirt & Bank adding something different even if the vocals were not always well mixed and even. There did appear to be some limited separation between the two channels but the audio effects and background noise were not always balanced properly, some nods to an alt-porn aural experience a given considering who was in charge of the production.

April Flores with CJ Wright

Body of Review: Metro/Cal Vista was once one of the biggest names in feature porn, their dedication to combining strokable smut with story indicative of the golden age of porn so very long ago. In recent years, various developments took the company essentially off line and few thought they would ever be back other than to hawk back catalog titles, at least until directors Erica McLean & Carlos Batts were given the chance to re-envision the latest version of a classic tale with Alice. The mainstream version in the theaters earlier this year was definitely a head trip of sorts, harkening back to the wild ride of the original "Alice in Wonderland" story so many generations have appreciated despite the lack of understanding of the nuances so often overlooked. In this pornified version starring major hotty Sunny Lane, I suspect many will either love it or hate it with little middle ground, though as a stroke flick, I have to generally side with my old pal Roger (who confided on twitter that he wanted to toss it out the window). Seriously though, all the porn elements of the story from the questionable acting to the truncated sex scenes left me wondering about other associates that apparently loved it in its entirety, the mere fact that the directors took a great many chances with the material sufficing to appeal to their inner anarchist making the most sense to me. This is certainly not to suggest that the movie didn't have some appealing elements, chief of which was Sunny Lane looking as sweet and delicious as ever, the kingdom reduced to a night club a curious choice but not unforgivable. The mainstream coverage for the parody will certainly elevate awareness of the production to a whole new level of audience though, making it a fine selection for Cal Vista to restart the engines, even if a raincoater like me might find great faults with the show. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Sunny Lane with Mikey Butders

Scene One: Aiden Starr, an extreme queen known for her public and private friskiness in clubs, was up first in a lesbian romp with lovely Andy San Dimas. The two kissed and caressed in a vacant part of the club warehouse on a red chair, the glass dildo and cunnilingus probably much hotter than it was shown to be. The editing was so heavy handed and the camerawork so reliant on close-ups that the mechanical tryst between these two ladies did what I would have otherwise suggested was impossible; they were a snooze-fest (and I'd run away with Aiden if asked, tapping Andy in any way she'd let me if given the chance). There was eating by both, fingering, and some dildo play, Andy going so over the top as to defeat any credibility in terms of whether she really got off or not.

Katie St. Ives with Seth Gamble

Scene Two: Sunny Lane, the gorgeous and fleshy blond featured on the left side of the front cover, was up next in a black dress, a confusing bit of hookah talk by Otto Bauer leading to her bending over to suck his rod. Her clothing started to disappear at that point, her thong spreading her sweet ass as he played with her. The hummer was far from her most aggressive but she rode his pecker in a moderately active manner, the red chair serving as a platform from which she sat on his dick in his lap as she moaned pleasantries. There was some additional oral and taste testing before the inevitable mouth pop of genetic juice, the load never swallowed as she licked him clean.

Sunny Lane with the mighty Evan Stone

Scene Three: April Flores, one of the chunkiest chicks in all of porn these days, was up next as the queen having an interracial engagement with CJ Wright in the quiet brick walled room. This was one of the worst scenes in terms of the style getting in the way of the heat, the rapid editing and repeated transitions to B&W not helping as they interfered with the flow of the pairing too much. There was some oral and he vaginally banged her, the tryst captured so poorly that no chemistry was detected.

Kimberly Kane

Scene Four: Sunny Lane, back in her cover attire, was outside of the location in daylight with Mikey Butders (as Mike Pacino), the gal stroking her pussy as he slowly undid her top to see some tit. Sunny played it coy as she had throughout the flick, savoring the taste of his modest pecker during her seductive knob slobbing. They kissed and her ass teased the camera, her white pantyhose tightening up her frame until he ripped them to bend her over for some vaginal thrusts. This was a largely passive vaginal ride for Sunny, standing sex always tougher for a gal to look involved without coming across as faking it. She did better when they moved back to his seated position where she bounced on him far more sexily, her aural talents enhancing the action enough to make it worth seeing at least twice. The vaginal and oral continued a time or two, Sunny eventually jerking him off to her face where she smiled at the amount of spunk his balls provided.

Scene Five: Katie St. Ives, an up and comer of a hotty, was up next with Seth Gamble, Katie wrapping her lips around his thin dick to blow him as aggressively as she could. Katie applied ample hand to gland action here too, looking up at him in the B&W scene as she worked him over as if trying for an early withdrawal of semen. This meant there was scant chemistry to work with the mechanical enthusiasm, Seth licking her a few times before the vaginal pounding on the table led to him rubbing out a nut of semen to her face.

Scene Six: Sunny Lane, again looking great despite the otherworldly look of the location, was up next with the mighty Evan Stone, the man tearing off her clothing as he embraced her tits and kissed her, bending her over a dead tree to vaginally fuck as she pushed back to meet his thrusts. The camera work and editing again limited the replay value of the scene, Sunny coming across as too repetitive vocally but open to his small wad of splooge to her mouth that he delivered by hand to her.

Scene Seven: Kimberly Kane, sorting black hair and sitting on a bench with her picture book in her lap, was up last as she masturbated out of her sexy outfit. Most of the color was removed from the visuals and the starkness didn't help the eroticism for me, her white granny panties pushed aside so her roast beef labia could be rubbed in plain view. There was fingering and a generic vibrator deployed on her crotch, some taste testing done to it after insertion. The vaginal penetration gave way to anal and while this was far from the best solo masturbation scene I've watched in the past month, at least it added variety to a movie lacking much heat.

Summary: Alice by directors Erica McLean & Carlos Batts for Metro/Cal Vista was one weird and wild trip, owing much more to the previous works of Carlos than Erica from what I've seen of their respective movies. As such, some of you might well find it just what you are looking for while the majority will probably agree with Roger and I that it lacked in so very many ways that even a rating of Rent It may seem overly generous. The extras were a solid package altogether and the second disc approach helped maintain acceptable compression rates for the feature itself, the technical matters appearing to be chiefly in the hands of Carlos (his comic book nods again shown more than once). In short, whatever your stance on the new mainstream version of the classic tale, this pornified tale called Alice was weird enough to suggest a wider audience check it out as a rental than many other pornos that have come across my radar screen in recent years, the net effect of the clumsily handled sex scenes and editing of story material doing no one any favors. Still, give this one a look for Sunny Lane if nothing else, the young lady again proving herself to be a few notches above the material she was forced to work with.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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