Porn film director Laszlo H. is an ass man at heart and his latest venture, a five scene gonzo offering with lucky dog Mike Adriano playing woodsman in each scene, is proof positive of just that. There's no plot to speak of, nor any recurring themes outside of the ass worship that the title promises and that the feature delivers. The cinematography is fairly standard, the production values nothing to write home about, and the fetish it caters to an all too common one, but Church Of Bootyismwill make you want to kneel down and thank the good Lord above for the sheer sex appeal it offers up in gobs.
So without further ado or a need for further alliteration, let's get down and groove to the who fucks who play by play:
Scene One - Amy Brooke And Mike Adriano: The opening scene on the disc is a good one, starting the feature off with a great shot of Amy's backside shaking to and fro for the camera. From there she decides it's time to get wet and she hops into the pool and teases us with the water. She heads indoors where Mike dives into her backdoor and proves his analingus skills are top notch. Amy seems to dig it, her reactions seemingly quite sincere, and she responds in kind and gives him a seriously champion hummer. With the oral out of the way, Mike gets those cheeks open and plows her asshole right off the bat. She rides him cowgirl style and controls the rhythm at first before Mike takes over and hits it doggy style and missionary style before going at it cowgirl style one last time. He pulls out and blows his load across her shapely derriere to finish off a scorching opener.
Scene Two - Charley Chase And Mike Adriano: Charlie starts her scene off by proclaiming her joy that this scene will focus on her ass. She seems to be a fan of her booty, and you can't really blame her. If you've got it, flaunt it, and she's got it in spades which she shows us when she struts for the leering lens, which also justifiably focuses on her rock solid rack from time to time, proving you can have your cake and eat it too. Speaking of eating, that's what Mike does Charley's tease is done. He tongues her hoop for a few and once he's had his fill she gets hers as he crams his cock down her throat. Charley gets really into her oral delivery, slobbering all over his dong and getting it wet as wet can be before they hit it cowgirl and reverse. Mike grabs the camera for some POV shots and then they go at it doggy and missionary style before Mike closes the scene out by squirting onto her face and into her mouth. So far, porn fans, we're two for two, but lookie yonder, things are about to get even better....
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Scene Three - London Keyes And Mike Adriano: Possibly this reviewer's favorite of the current crop of XXX starlets to hit the scene in the last few years, London Keyes is a real doll. She's got a picture perfect body and the face to match and on top of that she somehow manages to hit that right mix of slutty and classy which, in my head at least, allows me to justify watching as much filthy smut as I do. But I digress. Let's get to the action, which starts off with a nice tease from our dark haired hottie before Mike once again starts the action proper with some seriously enthusiastic ass eating. London responds in kind and gives a really great blowjob but not before Mike dives into her tits for a minute or so (and rightly so). Once she's had his cock down her throat, they head indoors where she rides him cowgirl style and lets the camera frame her tits with a few shots that would make Russ Meyer rise from his grave and slap a hippy. They hit it doggy style and then go at it spoon style, which offers us a full view of all that London has to offer, before Mike blows his load across her reference quality ass cheeks. London, ever the professional, dips her fingers into his spent load and licks it off - a nice touch.
Scene Four - Jessica Lynne And Mike Adriano: Jessica starts her scene off with some water play, which seems to be a popular trend in this feature, before showing off her shapely backside and strutting a bit for the camera. Knowing she's got our full attention, she talks dirty to the camera before Mike heads in and likes her snatch and sucks on her big old titties for a few. From there, he goes cheek diving and eats her ass a bit and then she's got his wang down her throat as far as she can manage for some good, sloppy blowjob action. From there the two hit the usual positions - cowgirl and reverse, doggy style and missionary - with some high quality pussy plowing on display and some nice enthusiasm from both parties, and at one point a vibrator comes into the mix. Mike pulls out and shoots his goop onto her rump and the camera lingers as his man-chowder dribbles down her smacktastic cheeks.
Scene Five - Ashli Orion And Mike Adriano: Last but not least, curvy cutie Ashli shakes her money maker and shows off what she's got to work with - and it's substantial. After her pants tightening opening tease, she deftly works a butt plug up her ass and fucks herself for the camera. Mike enters the frame and she blows him, and he smacks her face with his prick to get her more into things. It works (porn can be educational) and once she's done sucking his cock, she climbs on top of him for some anal cowgirl action. She blows him again, using only her mouth, and then they spoon fuck and he hits her ass doggy style. Before the scene is over Mike fucks her pussy and her ass missionary style, and he pulls out to end both the scene and the feature by spunking onto her face.
Church Of Bootyism is a shot on digital video production which looks pretty clean presented here in a reasonably stable 1.78.1 anamorphic widescreen transfer. There is some mild edge enhancement in a couple of spots and a noticeable bit of mpeg compression evident throughout in the darker scenes. Skin tones look nice and natural, the compositions are dead on (though some of the camera work in a couple of spots is quite shaky), and aside from the fact that this digital video production looks like a digital video production and as such suffers from the minor defects usually associated with the format, everything looks as good as you'd realistically expect it to.
The Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround track is quite sufficient. The dialogue, of which there is generally only a little bit, comes through cleanly and clearly as do all of the moans and groans. There is no background music used anywhere during the feature aside from the opening credits and the levels do tend to fluctuate quite a bit from scene to shining scene but aside from that there isn't much to whine about here. The audio is fine.
The best of the extras on the disc is a bonus scene with Rachel Starr and, you guessed it, ass man extraordinaire Mike Adriano. This scene follows the same sort of formula as the rest, as Rachel begins with a nice tease which shows off her tits and ass before getting down to business. Mike eats her ass and pussy and she spends most of the scene riding him cowgirl style all oiled up and looking good. Mike wisely opts to blow his load on her asshole to end the scene.
Rounding out the extras is a still gallery, trailers for a few other DVD, some web links and phone sex ads, animated menus and scene selection.
Church Of Bootyism is enough to make any ass fan get a tingle in their dingle. There's enough focus on the backside of the female form to cater to the kinksters and fetishists, but there's enough variety outside of the feature's plethora of posteriors to attract anyone with an interest in hardcore sex. The DVD looks good and sounds good and while the extras won't wow you, at least the disc isn't bare bones. Worth it for the London Keyes scene alone, this one comes highly recommended.