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Pornstars Like It Big Vol. 9

Studio: Brazzers » Review by Dr. Jay » Review Date: 10/26/10

XCritic's Advice: XCritic Pick

Genre: All sex.
Director: None acknowledged.
Cast: Kagney Linn Karter, Abbey Brooks, Keiran Lee, Courtney Cummz, Johnny Sins, Avy Scott, Jack Napier, Jayden Jaymes, Janine Lindemulder, Scott Nails.
Must-See Girls in Cast: Kagney Linn Karter and Jayden Jaymes.
Length: 03:01
Condoms: None.
Bonus: Two bonus points: one for condom-free sex and the second because Pornstars Like It Big 9 features two Dr. Jay's Must-See Girls: Kagney Linn Karter and Jayden Jaymes.


 Pornstars Like It Big 9 is a five-scene boy/girl all-sex movie that you simply must see. Each of the movie's five scenes plays out as a stand-alone 30-40 minute featurette that has a very creative opening scenario followed by volcanic foreplay and sex. Then, the scenario, which was begun at the beginning of the scene, comes to a conclusion. In one case, Scene Four, there are even opening and closing credits, which make the scene play like a full-length TV show sans commercials.

Pornstars Like It Big 9 has a dream cast. Just look at the names of the girls in the cast list above! Note that two girls are so fucking hot that they won Dr. Jay's Must-See Girls awards. In addition, the star of Scene Five is legendary Janine Lindemulder and also-legendary Nina Hartley makes a cameo appearance in Scene Four.

Pornstars Like It Big 9 is definitely the best Brazzers release I've ever had the pleasure to watch and review! With gratitude, I award it an XCritic Pick.

Check out some photos of the girls in Pornstars Like It Big 9 here. Pay particular attention to the photos of the incomparable Kagney Linn Karter, busty blond Abbey Brooks, and my hero Janine Lindemulder! Enjoy!


Note to readers: My reviews are provided in two parts. This web page provides you with an overview of the scene's setup and action as well as my ratings for sex, video, audio, and production values. A separate Word document checklist details the foreplay activities, positions, pops, and features of each scene...as well as the calculation of each scene's ratings. The checklist for Pornstars Like It Big 9 can be downloaded here. You'll need a password. It's drjay2010.

Scene 1

Scene Type: Boy/girl/girl threeway
Performers: Kagney Linn Karter, Abbey Brooks, Keiran Lee.

Scene Set-up/Plot/Scenario: In the not-too-distant future, all pornstars have lost the ability to get their pussies wet. And, all the lube has run out. The porn industry is in ruins and has left the world in the worst economic depression it has ever seen. But, there is hope. Legend speaks of one man whose dick is so big and so powerful that it can make pornstars' pussies wet again. Two women (Kagney Linn Karter and Abbey Brooks) set out to see if the legend is true. Following the yearning of their hearts and pussies, they cross a harsh, barren, and dry desert in search of their only hope. Nearing the end of physical endurance, and after exhausting their water supply, the girls spot a lonely and forsaken dwelling in the distance. Could it be the refuge of the savior? Mustering the last remnants of their strength, they enter the shack's yard and knock on the door with hope and yearning in their hearts. Finding one door locked, they try another and, miraculously, they are able to gain entrance to Keiran Lee's sanctuary. Dropping to their knees in supplication, the girls ask: "Are you the one the legends speak of? Please we must know!" "There's only one way to find out," replied Keiran. Encouraged, Kagney grabs the bulge in Keiran's jeans and is, to say the least, delighted: "Oh, my God! I've never felt a bulge that big!" Abbey grabs a handful and agrees: "Me either! Oh, my God. It's making my pussy so wet...finally!" Kagney, too, feels her girl juice start to flow and, beyond excited, the girls shove their hands into each other's pants to feel for themselves. Once they realize that a miracle has truly occurred in Keiran's presence, the girls start to make out with each other while enjoying ecstasy-inducing mutual masturbation. Keiran, quite satisfied with himself, stands regally, drops his pants, and lets the girls devour his larger-than-life cock individually and as a team. Whenever one girl is working solo on Keiran's rod, the other is busy kissing his mouth, feeding him her big and pretty tits, or letting him squeeze, caress, and spank her perfect flesh. And, the girls take time to masturbate, too. However, the best part of this segment, in my opinion, is when the girls surround Keiran's massive and fully-erect dick with all four of their voluptuous breasts and use them to titty fuck him. Believe me, Keiran is in heaven during foreplay! Meanwhile, he pulls on both girls' flowing blond hair and the girls erotically kiss each other. As foreplay unfolds, the trio shares cunnilingus: Kagney sits on a chair and spreads her legs wide so that Abbey, kneeling in doggie, and eat her voraciously. Meanwhile, Keiran slides under Abbey's cunt so that he can gobble her tasty twat and licks her asshole. This threeway cunnilingus is outstanding and results in such an intense orgasm for Kagney that her body shakes uncontrollably! While Kagney cums, Keiran shifts his cock into Abbey's pussy and fucks it powerfully in doggie while Abbey continues to eat Kagney's throbbing vagina. As the scene continues to unfold, the girls take turns fucking their savior's cock in several positions, including cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and spoon. Even better, the trio acts like a threesome and they all work together to constantly pleasure each other using love triangles, love trains, 69, face fucking, and other quite unique positions. Everybody is always giving and receiving pleasure...just like a threeway should be! The result is innumerable orgasms for the girls (Kagney screams, "Everybody deserves to cum like that!) and, at the end of the scene, a huge ejaculation for Keiran when he pumps his load into Abbey's wide-open mouth. The girls, so grateful for the savior's load, even cumswap to share his semen. This scene, which lasts more than 30 minutes but never becomes even remotely stale, is why I watch porn.

Foreplay: Stripping; kissing; mutual masturbation; tit sucking, squeezing, fucking (including four-tit titty-fucking); caressing/groping; hair pulling; handjob; fellatio; two-girls-on-one-dick fellatio; deep-throat; stringers; cunnilingus, clit jacking, face-fucking, rimming, spitting.
Vaginal Positions: Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, kneeling doggie, spoon, 69; double-vaginal with cock/fingers.
Anal Positions: None.
Girl cums: Repeatedly.
Pop: Open mouth; girls cum swap.

Sex rating: 5.00 (points actually total 5.40)
Video rating: 4.50
Audio rating: 4.00
Production values rating: 4.50

What I Liked Most:

  • There could hardly be a prettier or sexier pair of voluptuous and curvy blonds than Kagney Linn Karter and Abbey Brooks. And, they look so good together, too. Check out their tits and asses in these two-for-one shots! Their bodies are even heart-stopping when (mostly) dressed!
  • Kagney has pierced labia. I totally adore genital jewelry!
  • The scenario (see above) is really very cute and is well played out by Abbey and Kagney. They nearly give their all in their quest to find intense sexual fulfillment--and wet pussies! In addition, the scene set-up footage was very nicely filmed and uses effective time-lapse special effects.
  • Both girls devour Keiran's cock together. Is there anything finer than a two-mouths-on-one-dick blowjob? Seldom have two girls ever SO enjoyed the same cock!
  • There is excellent cunnilingus during foreplay, especially when Abbey goes down on Kagney and makes her cum with a body-shivering orgasm. I'd give most anything to be in Abbey's place when she greedily licks and suckles Kagney's pierced labia and sensitive clit.
  • Abbey's dangling tits, especially in doggie, are absolutely mesmerizing.
  • Kagney's fucking moves in cowgirl are outstanding. In addition, her moves in reverse defy description...what energy! What a GREAT fuck!
  • Abbey rims Kagney's asshole (Kagney returns the favor later on) and licks Keiran's pistoning dick while Kagney and Keiran fuck in cowgirl.
  • Kagney's pussy creams on Keiran's dick in cowgirl.
  • Kagney and Abbey take turns fucking Keiran round-robin style in cowgirl and in spoon.
  • Abbey cums like a volcano in cowgirl. And, her orgasm in spoon is incredible! Kagney, too, cums hard and often. I think Kagney says it best when she screams: "Everybody deserves to cum like that!" Indeed.
  • Abbey's jiggling ass cheeks look superb when she rides Keiran in cowgirl.
  • I fucking love Kagney's facial expressions and her intense moves in reverse. Few girls can match Kagney's enthusiasm. Even better, she sure knows how to share her enthusiasm with her partners and with us!
  • Kagney takes a double vag during reverse--Keiran's cock and two fingers.
  • Keiran and Abbey both eat Kagney's cunt at the same time while Keiran fucks Abbey in spoon.
  • Keiran worships Kagney's feet with his mouth while he fucks Abbey in spoon.
  • The trio uses unique three-way positions--triangles, girl/girl 69 during boy/girl spoon, and so forth.
  • The girl/girl action, throughout the scene, is top-notch.
  • The girls swap Keiran's semen at the end of the scene.

What Could Have Been Better:

  • The scene suffers from "porn-style videography." In particular, there is an excessive use of oblique camera angles that make it appear as if the performers are going slide off the screen. Second, the camera movements are often jerky rather than smooth, fluid, and professional.
  • I wish there had been more anal attention than just rimming. Yes, I do appreciate tongue-to-ass action. But, anal penetration is so much sweeter!

Scene 2

Scene Type: Boy/girl/minimal anal.
Performers: Courtney Cummz, Johnny Sins.

-- sponsored by --

Scene Set-up/Plot/Scenario: Courtney Cummz, her (unnamed) fiance, and their friends head off to Vegas for a quickie wedding. Slightly tipsy, they find themselves in a campy wedding chapel and choose "Elvis" (Johnny Sins) to perform the ceremony...their other, less appealing, choices were Telly Savalas an Marilyn Monroe! While Courtney and her maid of honor wait for the ceremony to begin, they talk about a "small" problem--the size of her fiance's dick. Nonetheless, she eventually joins him under the chapel's wedding arch to exchange "I do's." Minister "Elvis" begins the ceremony, but can't help but notice Courtney's miniscule wedding gown, which doesn't leave much to the imagination. In fact, "Elvis" gets an eyeful of Courtney's round ass cheeks and buxom breasts. And, he even recognizes those pretty titties as those belonging to pornstar Courtney Cummz! Courtney admits her identity and then "Elvis" confesses that he's a big fan. "How big are you?" coos Courtney as she grabs a handful of his bulging pants. Of course, Courtney's fiance objects...and "Elvis" reluctantly continues the ceremony. But, he interjects comments about Courtney's movies during his remarks! In due course, it's time for the vows. Courtney pulls her personalized vows out of her top and starts to read: "I vow to not become a fuckin' stay-at-home wife, pushing out ten kids and cooking while you go out and party with your friends. I vow to always look good. I will fuck and suck until I can't any more. I will be sleeping with other men, but I vow to never come home and smell like cum and cock." As you can imagine, hubby-to-be doesn't like those vows...not in the least! He expected her to give up her porn career. Not! Then, to prove she's serious about her career, she tugs down her wedding dress and gives everybody in the chapel a first-hand look at her tits and ass. She even does a little striptease dance for "Elvis." Then, trying to get things back on track, "Elvis" asks if there's anybody in the room who opposes the marriage. Everybody--including Courtney--raises his or her hand. Poor fiance! Courtney even bluntly tells him why...she can't quit her job because it gives her something he can't...big cock. And, to add fuel to the fire, Courtney even eyes "Elvis'" bulge! With his back against the wall, Courtney's finance begs for a "cock off." "I'll make you a deal," he announces. "If this 'impersonator's' penis is bigger than mine, I'll walk away." Courtney takes the deal: "OK, boys! Show me what you've got!" The guys drop their trousers and, as you can imagine, Johnny Sins wins by several inches. Courtney chooses Johnny and then her "ex" and all the others leave the chapel so that Johnny and Courtney can be alone. Courtney immediately drops to her knees; begs, "I hope you're not planning on 'loving me tender;'" worships his cock with her eyes, inflammatory words, and hands (she often uses both her hands to stroke him); and then inhales his massive rod (she measures it to be "11 fingers" long) with her talented and oh-so-practiced mouth. She even sucks his lucky balls deep into her ravenous mouth. And, she chokes on his penis, too. After a while, Johnny helps Courtney to her feet, strips off her wedding dress (but leaves her miniscule panties in place), lifts her leg, and then fucks her pussy balls-deep while they stand face-to-face in standing cowgirl. As the scene continues to unfold, the couple takes a break for ravenous cunnilingus and naughty rimming so that Johnny can gorge himself on Courtney's pussy juice. He even kisses her to share the taste. Then they continue to fuck by enjoying standing doggie, standing reverse cowgirl, side-saddle cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, cowgirl, and missionary. No matter what position they use, Courtney's moves are always enthusiastic and very erotic and they are accompanied by torrents of naughty commentary. And, her pleasure, which is definitely real, results in a massive orgasm for her in reverse cowgirl. To finish the scene, Courtney drops to her knees, opens her mouth, and tilts her head back to receive Johnny's high-powered and generous load of semen. He pumps sperm into her mouth and splatters her face, cheeks, and eyes with it, too. Then, she greedily vacuums every remaining drop from his penis while massaging globs of semen into her tits and then licking her hands clean. As "Elvis" backs away from Courtney, he shows his gratitude: "Thank you. Thank you very much!" Nice scene!

Foreplay: Striptease, mutual stripping, pussy-on-leg humping, caressing/groping, handjob, double-fisted handjob, fellatio, deep-throat, stringers, balls-gobbling.
Vaginal Positions: Missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, side-saddle cowgirl, standing doggie, standing cowgirl, standing reverse cowgirl.
Anal Positions: Finger fucking; DP with cock (pussy) and finger (asshole)
Girl cums: Yes.
Pop: Open mouth.

Sex rating: 5.00 (points actually total 5.10)
Video rating: 3.50
Audio rating: 4.00
Production values rating: 4.30

What I Liked Most:

  • Courtney has a pierced clit hood. I totally adore genital jewelry!
  • The wedding gone awry scenario is fun and engaging. Courtney is fucking hot as she delivers her lines!
  • Courtney is aggressive in getting what she want--even sharp ass spanks--from Johnny.
  • Johnny Sins does a very nice job playing an over-the-top--and suitably campy--Elvis impersonator/minister.
  • Courtney provides extremely nasty--and oh-so-effective--commentary throughout the scene, but especially while she blow's Johnny's cock during foreplay.
  • Incendiary chemistry develops between Courtney and Johnny. Whew! It's obvious that the two had an excellent time together.
  • Courtney's fucking moves...in virtually every sexual position...are sexy and extremely erotic. Wait until you see her in cowgirl! Courtney is an amazingly enthusiastic--and quite nasty--fuck!
  • There's a very nice break for excellent cunnilingus and rimming after standing cowgirl.
  • Courtney and Johnny enjoy 69 between positions during sex. I fucking love 69 and wish pornstars would use it more often.
  • Courtney cums all over Johnny's "fucking dick" in reverse cowgirl. Damn! That must have felt good!
  • Johnny DPs Courtney's holes in cowgirl by shoving a finger up her asshole while plowing her pussy with his cock. Even better, Courtney two-finger-fucks her asshole during cowgirl.
  • There are some very effective shot-from-below and from our point-of-view (POV) camera angles.

What Could Have Been Better:

  • The scene suffers from "porn-style videography." In particular, there is an excessive use of oblique camera angles that make it appear as if the performers are going slide off the screen. Second, the camera movements are often jerky rather than smooth, fluid, and professional.
  • Some of the lighting leaves a bit to be desired.
  • I wish there had been more anal attention than just rimming and finger-fucking. Yes, I do appreciate those anal treats. But, anal penetration is so much sweeter!

Scene 3

Scene Type: Boy/girl.
Performers: Avy Scott, Jack Napier

Scene Set-up/Plot/Scenario: Avy Scott plays a psychopathic telekinetic nymphomaniac who is confined to padded cell in a psychiatric asylum. She's such a danger to herself--and the hospital staff--that she's even kept restrained by a straight jacket. Even so, Dr. Jack Napier thinks that he can help her and, over the strenuous objections of Dr. Charles Dera (the asylum's chief-of-staff), demands access to Avy's cell. Dr. Dera even shows Dr. Napier some terrifying video of Avy huffing and puffing maniacally while demanding some "big fucking cock." Even so, Dr. Napier forces Dr. Dera to give him the key to Avy's cell. Of course, Dr. Dera insists that he will not be held responsible for anything that happens once the door is open. Nonetheless, Dr. Napier arrogantly unlocks the door, enters the cell, and proceeds to "examine" Avy by showing her suggestive phallic images that she drew herself. At first, Avy seems quiet and passive...yet spooky. Then, she demands: "Cock...let me see your fucking cock!" Dr. Napier tries to remain professional, to resist her ravings, and to ignore her inflammatory naughty words and suggestions. But, Avy becomes more agitated by the second and is soon using her telekinetic powers to wreak havoc with her cell's furnishings...even Dr. Napier's briefcase flies across the room! However, Dr. Napier is skeptical and insists that he's witnessing tricks, not "powers." But, he becomes a true believer when his pants open of their own accord and fall away and when she explodes from her straight jacket! Once Avy is free from bondage, she pounces on Jack, caresses his body, strokes his limp dick, and sucks him to full mast in no time. Once he's hard, she continues to give him a slobbery and very memorable combination hand/blowjob. Of course, Avy acts like a true sex-starved nymphomaniac who is totally and completely obsessed with dick. Dr. Napier begs Avy to stop. But, her telekinetic powers keep him immobile and unable to resist her frantic fellatio. She even fucks his rod with her pretty natural-looking tits! After several minutes of fanatical fellatio, Avy throws Jack onto the floor, rolls him onto his back, mounts him in cowgirl, and guides his dick into her insatiable cunt so she can ride him like a fucking lunatic. But, Avy is not satisfied doing all the fucking herself. So, she uses her telekinetic powers to make Dr. Napier fuck back--against his will (poor baby)! She even forces him to his feet and makes him stand and fuck her in missionary while she lays on a table. Of course, Avy's long-deprived body responds volcanically (she even sweats profusely and torrents of naughty words pour from her mouth) as she ramps up to a convulsive orgasm. After Avy cums, she stands and bends over the table so that Dr. Napier can fuck her pussy from behind in doggie (her bouncing tits look delicious!). To increase her pleasure, she forces Dr. Napier to sharply spank her fine ass cheeks with his hand. Then, after a bit of pussy-to-mouth that's accompanied by superb handjob action, Avy straddles Jack in reverse and does her best fucking of the scene as her pretty boobs dance delightfully in response to her high-energy thrusts and grinds. Meanwhile, under the influence of her powers, Dr. Napier pulls on Avy's long and flowing blond hair and squeezes her beautiful tits. As the scene continues to unfold, Avy allows Dr. Napier to take a short break--during which he greedily eats her pussy--and then he again slides his dick balls-deep into her vagina in missionary and bangs her hard and fast while she begs him to cum in her mouth so she can taste his semen. Dr. Napier does Avy's bidding and even rolls her over onto her side to increase his penetration as he thrusts in and out at redline speed. When Dr. Napier can no longer hold back, he pulls out and, after Avy drops to her knees, opens her mouth, and tilts her head back, he pumps his load into her mouth and onto her face. She sucks and milks him dry and swallows. Then, after Avy has finished with Dr. Napier, she subdues and kills him while Dr. Dera watches helplessly through a reinforced window in the door. Yikes!

This is a very unusual sex scene and deserves kudos for its originality and for its excellent execution.

Foreplay: Stripping, mutual stripping, body licking, titty fucking, caressing/groping, handjob, double-fisted handjob, fellatio, deep-throat, stringers, balls gobbling.
Vaginal Positions: Missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, standing doggie, on-her-side.
Anal Positions: None.
Girl cums: Yes.
Pop: Open mouth; she swallows.

Sex rating: 4.70
Video rating: 4.00
Audio rating: 4.00
Production values rating: 4.40

What I Liked Most:

  • The acting, by Charles Dera and Jack Napier during the scene set-up, is quite believable. The set-up plays much like a professional daytime "soap opera."
  • Even on a porn budget, the director was able to make the set look like a padded cell with minimal utilitarian furnishings.
  • Avy has a very pretty face and heart-stopping--and quite natural-looking--breasts. Her ass is a sight for sore eyes, too.
  • I like Avy's nicely-manicured bush. In this age of bald pussies, a little well-groomed pubic hair is a treat.
  • Avy's portrayal of a psychopathic telekinetic nymphomaniac is excellent.
  • The special "telekinetic" effects are a bit campy but are cute.
  • Jack's response to Avy's telekinetic powers is excellent...as if he believes the spooky stuff that is going on around him.
  • Avy does a superb job blowing and double-fisting Jack's cock during foreplay. Deep-throat, gagging, slobber, titty fucking, and an intense obsession with cock...what could be better?
  • Avy's bouncing tits look great in cowgirl and reverse cowgirl. They also look stupendous wrapped around Jack's huge cock during titty-fucking.
  • Avy has a very intense orgasm in mish.
  • Avy swallows Jack's load at the end of the scene.

What Could Have Been Better:

  • The scene suffers from "porn-style videography." In particular, there is an excessive use of oblique camera angles that make it appear as if the performers are going slide off the screen. Second, the camera movements are often jerky rather than smooth, fluid, and professional.
  • Some of the lighting leaves a bit to be desired.
  • I wish there had been some attention paid to Avy's asshole. There's not even any rimming or finger-fucking. Pity.

Scene 4

Scene Type: Boy/girl/minimal anal.
Performers: Jayden Jaymes, Johnny Sins.

Scene Set-up/Plot/Scenario: Scene Four plays out as a spoof of a 1970's-era TV show called "That 70's Porn." It even has opening and closing credits and is extremely well crafted. I have seldom seen a more complete vignette scene! After the opening credits, Jayden Jaymes, playing a modern-day porn star, kneels on her knees for a money shot. After an unseen guy splatters her gorgeous face with semen, the director calls "cut." Then, Jayden asks a production assistant for a towel and, once she receives it, starts to clean up. Meanwhile, she chats with her director and randomly observes: "If this were the 70's, I think I'd be a lawyer and not a porn star." "Why do you say that?" "Besides Ron Jeremy or John Holmes," she replies, "where else could you find a big cock to suck and fuck? Back then, they were like wiggly worms...or like mushrooms with long stems...And, what was up with the women not shaving their bush? I'm sorry, but if I'm shooting porn, I don't want my pussy to look like the top of a treasure trove. Oh, gross!" At this point, porn legend Nina Hartley walks on the set and tries to set Jayden straight: "I wouldn't be so quick to bash the good old days. It paved the way for the porn you see now. Yeah, there may be some perks nowadays. But, back in the 70's, the sex was great and the cocks were huge!...One day, you're gonna learn the hard way: respect the architects." Jayden agrees that she respects Nina and her generation. But, she decides to "agree to disagree" with Nina. Jayden heads for the dressing room and arrogantly bosses everybody around...as if she's the Queen of Sheba. Soon, however, Jayden discovers just how ordinary she is when a massive earthquake strikes. Jayden is knocked unconscious and, in her delirium, is transported back to the 1970's. In Jayden's dream, she awakens ion a 1970's porn set. She hears some disco rhythms and walks out onto the set to see a complete crew....1970's style! Of course, all the crew members are dressed in the terrible clothes we wore in those days, have long or "big" hair, and are dressed in "rad" clothes. Jayden is offered lines of coke, observes cast and crew hanging out and goofing around, learns that it's 1975, and discovers that 70's porn studs had big cocks! The director sends Jayden into makeup and she soon emerges as a "fine mama" dressed as a "foxy lady". There's only one problem...she has a full bush! "Oh! Hell, no!" she exclaims as she grabs a pair of scissors and orders the stylist to "Cut this fucking pubic hair, bitch, or I'm walking!" Jayden gets her way and soon finds herself on a campy set. "A star is born!" observes the director. Indeed!

The cast walks through the scene set-up dialog. Johnny Sins, dressed in a long-haired wig, delivers lamps to Jayden's crib and sets them up for her. "I'm done moving your furniture...groovy stuff," Johnny observes. "Thanks Johnny," Jayden replies, "You've got big muscles!" They pour through several more trite lines and then Jayden whispers, "Johnny...take me!" They begin kissing passionately as Johnny runs his lucky hands over Jayden's fine body (for some reason, he seems to like her tits and ass!) while she, in turn, squeezes and licks the bulge in his pants while inflaming him with naughty vocabulary. Finding Johnny's pants to be a hindrance, Jayden opens them and is soon worshipping his "big fucking dick" with her insatiable mouth and talented hands. Jayden gives Johnny a "groovy" blowjob that includes lots of slobber, deep-throat thrusts, double-fisted handjob action, and torrents of delightfully explicit language. Meanwhile, Johnny squeezes handfuls of Jayden's flesh, spanks her ass cheeks, and multiple-finger-fucks her pussy. After a while, Johnny asks Jayden to dance for him and, while she's gyrating her incredible body, he strips off her panties and notices she has no pubic hair. Terrified, he asks the director if he checked Jayden's ID. Once satisfied that she's "of age," Johnny sits back on the couch and enjoys the ride as Jayden straddles and fucks the shit out of him in reverse as she dances powerfully on his dick until she makes herself cum. Then, Johnny keeps her pleasure flowing by stroking her clit while he takes over the in-and-out action. Jayden and Johnny continue to fuck oh-so-passionately in reverse for a few more minutes and then she climbs off him and lays on the couch so that she can enjoy his incredible cunnilingus and rimming techniques (her bejeweled pussy looks outstanding with Johnny's tongue between her labia). Johnny even makes her cum with his tongue! After this delightful pussy eating, Johnny penetrates Jayden again and pounds her fast and furious in mish while she, in turn, strokes her sensitive clit and screams ecstatically. Later, after a break for ravenous pussy-to-mouth, open-mouthed kissing, and sexy titty-fucking, they resume vaginal sex and enjoy fucking in cowgirl, while she lies on-her-belly (it's a real treat to watch Jayden's stupendous body as she gets her pussy pounded and asshole finger-fucked in this position), while she lies on her side (Jayden cums again!), in kneeling doggie, and in oh-so-sexy piledriver. To finish up, they return to missionary so Johnny can pound her relentlessly until he starts to explode. As he ejaculates spasm after spasm, he pulls out and splatters Jayden's gorgeous belly, her awesome tits, and her open mouth with his seed. She sucks and milks him dry and then wakes up to find herself back in the good-old twenty-first century...with a 1970's bush. To conclude the scene, a full range of ending credits roll.

Seldom have I so enjoyed a sex scene. What fun!

Foreplay: Erotic dancing, mutual stripping, kissing, body licking, spanking, tit squeezing, hair pulling, caressing/groping, double-fisted handjob, fellatio, jaw breakers, stringers, finger-fucking, two-finger-fucking.
Vaginal Positions: Missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, kneeling doggie, on-her-side, on-her-belly, piledriver.
Anal Positions: Finger fucking (only); DP with cock (pussy) and finger (asshole).
Girl cums: Repeatedly.
Pop: Open mouth, belly, and tits.

Sex rating: 5.00
Video rating: 4.50
Audio rating: 4.00
Production values rating: 4.70

What I Liked Most:

  • Jayden is one of the prettiest--and sexiest--girls in porn. There's a reason she won a 2010 Dr. Jay's Must-See Girls award! Look at her dazzling face, curvy-yet-firm body, never-ending legs, perfect ass, and inviting pussy. And, her beautiful and colorful tattoo and pierced clit hood add to her overall attractiveness.
  • The scenario--including guest-star Nina Hartley's appearance--is very appealing. particularly the cute behind-the-camera shenanigans by 70's porn crew. It's FUNNY!
  • The 1960's wardrobe and hairstyles are spot on.
  • Jayden does an excellent job of acting during the "porn scene within a porn scene" scenario.
  • Johnny has so much fun with Jayden that he even "manhandles" her by lifting and tossing her into the next position.
  • There's some very tasty cunnilingus and rimming/finger-fucking between reverse and mish (Johnny even makes her cum). And, there's more pussy-eating between cowgirl and on-her-belly sex.
  • Jayden's bouncing tits look absolutely beautiful during every position, but especially while they fuck in mish.
  • Jayden is a very demonstrative fuck...unfocused eyes, ecstatic facial expressions, enthusiastic groans/squeals, and nasty commentary.
  • Johnny mildly chokes Jayden's throat during mish and kneeling doggie, he sharply spanks her ass during cowgirl, he fucks and spanks Jayden's "big fucking tits" between positions, he finger-fucks her asshole while plowing her cunt while she lies on-her-belly, and he often kisses her open mouth. He nurses on her abundant breasts, too.
  • Jayden's fucking moves are especially heart-stopping in cowgirl and reverse cowgirl.
  • Jayden inflames Johnny's lust by erotically shaking her ass cheeks for him between cowgirl and on-her belly.
  • Jayden cums hard and often!
  • Jayden and Johnny use lots of extremely-effective positions, including piledriver. It's so fucking hot!

What Could Have Been Better:

  • The scene suffers from "porn-style videography." In particular, there is an excessive use of oblique camera angles that make it appear as if the performers are going slide off the screen. Second, the camera movements are often jerky rather than smooth, fluid, and professional.
  • I wish there had been more anal attention than just rimming and finger-fucking. Yes, I do appreciate those anal treats. But, anal penetration is so much sweeter!

Scene 5

Scene Type: Boy/girl/minimal anal
Performers: Janine Lindemulder, Scott Nails

Scene Set-up/Plot/Scenario: While cleaning out a closet--and playing with a mammoth dildo she uncovered--Janine chats to a friend about the state of her sex life: "I cannot tell you the last time I had a huge cock inside me. I can't remember! It has to be years." "How big do you want it?" asks her friend. "I want it this big!" exclaims Janine as she lovingly strokes the huge toy. "Maybe nobody in this world is big enough to satisfy my gaping gash! I'm just gonna have to suffer." Frustrated, Janine continues to dig through her accumulated possessions and finds a Ouija board game. The girls decide to give the board a whirl and set it up so they can use it to summon up an "otherworldly" man to give Janine the "deep dicking" she deserves. As they move the pointer across the board, the game begins to spell out words as Janine begs for a big, thick, throbbing cock: "Janine...take off your top." Janine's friend gets freaked out by the Ouija board's omniscience and leaves abruptly. But, Janine gladly follows the Ouija board's directions and bares her traffic-stopping breasts as thunder fills the air. Then, she erotically kneads her boobs while arching her back and groaning with delight. Returning to the board, Janine chants: "O dark and powerful Ouija board. I long for someone to fulfill my deep and dark desires." The Ouija board responds: "Close your eyes." Janine does as told and caresses herself for a few moments until she senses a presence. Opening her eyes, Janine comes face-to-face with Scott's mammoth dick! As you might expect, Janine immediately attacks Scott's penis with her deprived and insatiable mouth and gives him a breathtaking blowjob replete with jaw breakers, stringers, and balls-gobbling. As Janine worships Scott's penis, she prays a prayer of thanks to the Ouija gods: "Oh, my God, it worked! This is exactly what I longed for!" Speaking from Scott's perspective--and mine--it's exactly what we want, too! Scott shows his deep-felt appreciation for Janine's actions by groaning contentedly and by pulling on her long blond hair. Eventually, Scott turns his attention to Janine's body: he helps her strip off her clothes and greedily suckles her nipples while squeezing her fine-looking breasts. Then, he buries his tongue between her legs so that he can rim her asshole and lick and finger-fuck her bejeweled pussy while she screams with delight. Lucky Scott even gets to gorge himself on Janine's pussy and asshole in both doggie and missionary as she lies atop her living room couch. During this world-class cunnilingus, both Janine and Scott use their fingers to ream Janine's asshole. And, they DP her holes when he thumb-fucks her asshole while she two-finger-fucks her pussy. Excellent! Janine cums and then Scott slides his cock into her pussy so he can pound it balls-deep in mish. After a short while, Janine demands: "Bend me over." Scott eagerly complies, helps her into kneeling doggie atop the couch, spits on and jacks her pussy, and then pounds her fast and deep while we get to enjoy not only her passion ("Harder, motherfucker," she screams) but her extensively-inked body, too. As the scene continues to unfold, Scott and Janine enjoy in-and-out action in standing doggie (Janine takes a DP: she finger-fucks her asshole while Scott pounds her cunt; she cums all over his cock!), on-her side (what a great position to savor her fine body), and reverse cowgirl. And, between positions, they take time outs for ravenous pussy-to-mouth, voracious cunnilingus, vaginal and anal masturbation, and squirt-inducing finger fucking! After Janine has cum repeatedly--and squirted, too--she tells Scott, "I wanna see you cum! I want you to cum on my face! I'm dying for your cum! I wanna taste your cum...all over my face...all over my tongue! I need that fuckin' load." Who'd say no? Obviously not Scott who soon showers Janine's face, mouth, and boobs with his semen. She sucks and milks him dry and then he disappears as this "out of this world" scene cums to an end.

Foreplay: Stripping, mutual stripping, masturbation, tit sucking and squeezing, hair pulling, caressing/groping, handjob, double-fisted handjob, fellatio, jaw breakers, stringers, balls gobbling, cunnilingus, finger-fucking, clit-jacking, he fucks her throat with his fingers, rimming.
Vaginal Positions: Missionary, reverse cowgirl, kneeling doggie, standing doggie, on-her-side.
Anal Positions: Finger-fucking; DP with cock/fingers and two sets of fingers.
Girl cums: Repeatedly.
Pop: Open mouth.

Sex rating: 5.00 (points actually total 5.15)
Video rating: 4.50
Audio rating: 4.00
Production values rating: 4.70

What I Liked Most:

  • Janine is one of my heroes. Really! She--along with her former partner Julia Ann and a busty Italian named Celeste--is the reason I love porn. Believe it or not, I started watching her scenes in 1992! I love her extensive tattoos (I even interviewed her and wrote an article about her tattoos several years ago.) I love her always-attractive breasts (which goes to prove that implants in the 1990's were superior to current ones) and her bejeweled pussy. I love the fact that she's in her 40's and has such a hot body! I love how she worships cock, and how she evolved from being a veggie-only performer during the first several years of her career to a omnivore today. And, I love the fact that, nearly 20 years after she gave me unlimited bliss, that she can give me a hard-on in seconds. Love ya', Janine!
  • The scenario is creative and well-crafted by both the cast and crew.
  • There's an excellent "spooky" soundtrack during the Ouija board segment in the scene set-up.
  • Scott uses multiple fingers to fuck Janine's throat--and make her gag--during a break in fellatio.
  • Janine and Scott finger-fuck Janine's asshole during foreplay..and, they DP her with two sets of fingers
  • Janine gives amazing head to Scott.
  • The orgasm-inducing cunnilingus during foreplay is outstanding.
  • Janine chokes herself during mish.
  • Janine is a very demonstrative fuck and encourages Scott with torrents of incendiary words--including explicit instructions about what she wants him to do--and a never-ending flow of ecstatic screams.
  • Scott sharply spanks Janine's ass cheeks in doggie.
  • Scott frantically finger-fucks Janine's cunt between positions. He even makes her squirt! And, nasty Janine even licks her own ejaculate off of Scott's fingers!
  • Janine takes a cock (pussy)/finger (asshole) DP in kneeling doggie.
  • Janine finger-fucks her own asshole and masturbates while performing pussy-to-mouth on Scott.
  • Janine's beautiful bouncing boobs look extra-fine when she and Scott fuck while she lies on-her-side and in reverse.

What Could Have Been Better:

  • Scott should have fucked Janine's tits. I'd do anything for an opportunity to slide my rod between those boobs...boobs that have been part of my dreams for nearly 20 years!
  • There are some jerky camera movements.
  • Shadows of the crew and equipment fall across the performers' bodies.


This DVD-9 Disc contains a full-motion chapter selector that identifies the girl or girls in each scene by name; multiple chapters per sex scene; a six-minute self-running slide show that's accompanied by music; a nearly ten-minute cumshot compilation; extra-long trailers for six Brazzers releases; and website access information. More importantly, however, is a 35-minute bonus scene featuring Rachel Starr and Johnny Sins. This excellent scene is definitely a very welcome bonus and is, in my opinion, more valuable than behind-the-scenes features that often accompany contemporary adult DVDs. For this reason, I'm rating this selection of extras slightly above average...3.5 stars. 

Final Thoughts

The best things about Pornstars Like It Big 9 include:

  • the outstanding cast. Not only does it contain one of my heroes, Janine Lindemulder, but also two of my Dr. Jay's Must-See Girls: Kagney Linn Karter and Jayden Jaymes.
  • the scenarios. Each scene plays out as a complete "feature" with a thorough opening scenario that's followed by sex and then a conclusion. In particular, Scenes One (Abbey, Kagney, and Keiran) and Four (Jayden and Johnny) are two of the most complete and well-crafted "all sex" scenes I've seen in 2010.
  • the sex. Few movies have as consistently hot sex from scene to scene. Only one scene scores less than a perfect 5.0! Even more amazing, three of the scenes amass points that exceed 5.0!
  • the production values. Appropriate locations, sets, props, wardrobe, makeup, and hairstyling were used throughout the movie. The director even went to far as to create a "padded cell" for Avy Scott in Scene Four.
  • the music. Seldom does an "all sex" movie have as appropriate a musical/sound-effects soundtrack as Pornstars Like It Big 9.
  • Janine's squirting orgasm.

Pornstars Like It Big 9 could have been better if:

  • the videography had resisted the urge to shoot using "porn-style camera work." In particular, there is an excessive use of oblique camera angles that make it appear as if the performers are going slide off the screen. In other words, the cameraman does not respect the horizontal and/or vertical axes. Second, the camera movements are often jerky rather than smooth, fluid, and professional.
  • I wish there had been more anal sex. There's some rimming and finger fucking. For that, I'm grateful. But, past-the-sphincter action would have been greatly appreciated.

Things I didn't like about Pornstars Like It Big 9 include:

  • not a thing. Seldom do I review a movie that doesn't contain at least something I don't like. Kudos to Brazzers for giving me what I like!

Average sex rating: 4.94
Average video rating: 4.20
Average audio rating: 4.00
Average production values rating: 4.52
Extras rating: 3.50
Bonus point(s): 2.00
Overall rating: 4.63

X Critic Pick (4.5+ sex; 4.0+ production values; 4.5+ overall)


Dr. Jay

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