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Ghost Fuckers

Studio: Penthouse » Review by Crimson Clown » Review Date: 11/14/10

XCritic's Advice: XCritic Pick

"There's nothing holy about this fuck!"

They've been busted, hunted, and faced, it was only a matter of time until someone decided ghosts should be fucked. That's where Penthouse's "Ghost Fuckers" comes in to play, a ninety minute HD presentation of the best in ghost fucking with some of the hottest Penthouse playmates, and their beaus that just may get your ghost. That was a PJ Soles reference. Sadly after being out of commission for a little while I have absolutely no idea who any of these women are, but I'm willing to find out and face some gorgeous women hone in on ghost splooge. "Ghost Fuckers" brings a new definition to the Bill Murray Quote "He slimed me, man." Sadly there really isn't a lot they do with the premise and title. This could have been a full fledged "Ghost Hunters" spoof with hot women and ghosts with giant schlongs, instead of being a simple horror themed bone fest that it is.

Granted, I enjoy watching the fuck fest that occurs (with special appearances by Slick Rhodes and Kyle Stone!), but why promise one thing and give us something completely different? However it's not to say "Ghost Fuckers" doesn't have a plot. Randy Spears play a man who just bought a brand new house with his new wife, and is greeted with a creepy old man who warns him that the house as a habit of going through owners and will take its toll on them. The prologue to the barrage of drilling is quite funny as Spears is able to deliver his usual comic dialogue flawlessly while playing off of the old caretaker who interrupts every question with a continuation of his spooky yarn about the house.

And like every haunted house story we've heard since we were five, the husband with the long dong, and the wife with the curvaceous figure soon learns that their house is being haunted by nymphomaniac ghosts that soon begin to take toll on them and their sex drive soon enough after he finds old adult magazines presumably left behind from past owners. After a day of unpacking and ignoring the unusual noises in the house, the new owners of the house turn in and hubby Spears, horny from all the spooky tales, drifts off in to his new abode to awaken beside Madelyn Marie, aaah!

If only all hauntings were this pleasant, Amityville would be a busier tourist attraction. In either case, Spears adjusts to the replacement of his gorgeous sexy wife with this new gorgeous sexy specter who proclaims she's ready and rearing to pleasure him as much as possible. The hubby celebrates this new arrangement by eating out this glorious spook furiously, and hubby asks casper to suck his cock and she more than happily obliges gobbling his piece whole and hungrily. After a few minutes of polishing him off she rides him much to his pleasure, as he pounds her, bangs her from behind finishes off with reverse cowgirl. After pounding her from behind and widespread, he awakens next to his actual hot wife.

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Hubby is of course no longer desirous of his wife much to her confusion, and after a hilarious reaction to his admittance of what may have been a wet dream, he's greeted by the spooky Eric, a paranormal investigator intent on looking for ghost doo-er-dew, and through his camera is able to spot two appratitions in the form of a hot woman and a buff man boning one another on their love seat. Capri Evans (good god, what a gorgeous woman!) and Anthony Rosano are the ghosts of the moment as Evans begins sucking on Rosano's cock furiously (while Eric and Spears watch in awe), and her ghost hubby reciprocates by eating her pussy out and finging her wildly. Capri then mounts Rosano and rides his cock hard and long puffing her otherworldly ass in the air the entire time, and then reverse cowgirls him tapping her pussy as she pounds down on his balls. After eating out her paranormal poon and licking her hole, he rams her from behind pounding her rapidly and spanking her ass, and finishes off by spraying gelatinous ghost gel along her chest.

Apparently Eric declares both apparitions have moved on in to the afterlife due to their satisfaction from sexual pleasure. Of course if I were with Capri Evans, I'd gladly move on anywhere. After finishing them off, Eric and Spears move in to the kitchen where they spot another couple banging relentlessly on the counter, Chayse Evans and Johnny Castle. Castle eats out Evans, as she spreads wide for him moaning loudly, and she bends over to suck his cock spitting on the shaft and gobbling it as Eric and Spears watch in shock and awe. Castle mounts his ghost mate pounding her rapid fire, and then lowers her leg pounding her ass as she cries out biting her fingers. I wonder why ghosts have tattoos? After Castle spews ghost lava on her plump ass, the two move on in to the after life sending the two ghost hunters chasing the specters.

Eric convinces Spear to let him slepe over for the night to watch the ghosts while he sleeps with his wife horrified, and Eric catches two more lucsious dimensional lovers, this time the insanely gorgeous Cody Love and Roxanna. The two delicious ghost chicks steal the whole movie with their excellent girl on girl sequence engaging in some one on one time for Eric as he watches anxiously and unwilling to interrupt their session. The two make out furiously along the couch, and strip slowly, as Roxanna sucks on Cody Love's gorgeous breasts and she reciprocates. The two then move down to the floor where Cody Love admires and taps Roxanna's ass and hole rubbing her clit anxiously as she moans and bends over flexing her gorgeous bum.

Cody Love moves down as Roxanna hovers over her face getting chewed out by Lova who rubs her own clit gnawing on her pussy hungrily and fingering the gorgeous spook. Cody Love gets her turn in spreading for Roxanna who licks and chews on her pussy. The two move up making out, Cody Love kisses Roxxanna's foot and finishes her off making her cum. Eric of course tries to get in on the ghostly goodness, and is met with Spears who gazes in horror as Eric accidentally gets his ghost all over the couch in the heat of the girl on girl. After a funny confrontation between the two men, they both learn what is the course of the hauntings, and it is much more convoluted than the premise would indicate. I found it quite hilarious, honestly.

Of course we enter in to our final ghostly confrontation with the insanely beautiful India Summer who has sworn off her husband after his sexual encounter and is fingering herself and pleasuring herself with a vibrator and it's up to the ghostly representation of Steven St. Croix to set her straight and sexually satisfy her thus ending all of the hauntings. Still with me on this? The climax is of course everything that the movie builds up to as Summer gets her chance with St. Croix who entices Summer seeking revenge on her husband, and the two grab some spiritual enticement as she gobbles his cock without hesitation, and then plays dive bomber pounding his cock in to her mouth from above. After some final heavenly head, he penetrates her pounding her reverse cowgirl much to her arousal. She screams, cries, and shrieks (it's a horror movie after all!), she tops him off, and he pounds her from behind fucking her furiously along her bed. The passionate fucking of course ends all of the haunting as both husband and wife are sexually fulfilled and Spears signs off with this golden porn quote: "If you hope to ever achieve peace in a haunted house... fuck yourself a ghost. You'll be glad you did."

Presented with a 16:9 wide screen picture, the DVD has full on high definition thus the audio and visuals are sheer perfection. The colors are lush and bold, the picture is never too dark, and the film is very sharp and crisp, all the while the dialogue is perfectly audible and defined enabling you to hear much of the performers improv and one on one dialogue.

We're given a really wicked photo gallery with all of the best scenes, and we're given a bonus scene of Courtney Page and Rocco Reed in "Very Bad Wives" that will satisfy most of audience coming down off of "Ghost Fuckers."

After Thought:
Initially I expected a "Ghost Hunters" spoof, but what we get instead is pretty damn great as a porno with an actual narrative and some hilarious comedy that makes for an entertaining ninety minutes. The story makes sense, the plot devices are goofy, the women are absolutely gorgeous, the one girl on girl scene is very hot, and Randy Spears is hysterical as usual.

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