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Official Survivor Parody

Studio: Third Degree Films » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/1/10

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

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Official Survivor Parody

Third Degree

Genre: Parody

Director: Nate Liquor

Cast: Jackie Daniels, Dane Cross, Krissy Lynn, Mick Blue, London Keyes, Tommy Pistol, Tori Lux, Kristina Rose, Anthony Rosano, Sarah Vandella/Sara Sloane, Mr. Pete

Length: 117:55 minutes

Jackie Daniels with Dane Cross

Date of Production: 2010

Extras: There was a slip cover, a photogallery, some trailers, a pop shot recap from the scenes, and a short Behind the Scenes feature lasting 20:41 minutes that showed a few of the cast getting ready for the fun of the day.

Condoms: None

Krissy Lynn with Mick Blue

Audio/Video Quality: Official Survivor Parody was presented in a visually appealing anamorphic widescreen color using an aspect ratio of 1.78:1 as shot by director Nate Liquor for Third Degree using the MPEG-2 codec employed by standard definition releases with a 480 resolution. The lighting was strong, eliminating the shadows and grain I dislike so much, the overall look of the show pretty good for a guy best known as a production assistant. The bitrate tended to hover around the mid 5.7 Mbps area most of the time I paid any attention to it, the composition of the camera angles typically optimal for the ladies. The composition of the scenes enhanced the look of the ladies, each of them used to softer lighting in recent scenes, this particular cast able to handle the added lighting quite well. The sole audio track was presented in 1.0 Dolby Digital English using the standard 192 Kbps rate using a 48 kHz sampling rate most titles are mastered with, the aural experience fairly limited but much like the gonzo titles he likes to shoot. There was also no separation between the channels and the dynamic range was as truncated as ever, standard gonzo audio being okay for most consumers. The voices could be clearly heard though, the balancing between those and the music capably handled.

-- sponsored by --

London Keyes with Tommy Pistol

Body of Review: Nate Liquor has long been one of the reasons to appreciate companies related to Third Degree, his technical prowess on various projects often helping make them better. Due to the recent porn parody craze, he has been working on various projects, the latest coming my way being the Official Survivor Parody. The show itself helped jumpstart the reality television craze on network TV, gathering up a group of weirdoes, placing them on an island, and running them ragged with tests to eventually reward the last person with a big check. While I always thought the show sucked donkey balls, it is a better choice to pornify in a parody than many others on the market so I gave it a look based as much on the cast including hot babes like Kristina Rose, London Keyes, and Sarah Vandella as anything else. The back cover described the movie like this: “The XXX tribe has spoken! Watch your favorite 3rd Degree porn stars learn to live together on a deserted island with nothing but their wits and asses! They'll be hunting for pussy and gathering balls and cock, forming alliances of every kind in this steamy tropical paradise. Forced to get down and dirty in every position, each player's physical battles will decide their fate. Our courageous contestants might be left high and dry, but the action is all wet and wild! The only question is - Who will be the last one standing?” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Tori Lux with Mick Blue

Scene One: Jackie Daniels, a lean brunette working out with a device that reminds many of a guy jerking off, was up first as she bit the bitter pill of working with moper Dane Cross when no one better was around. He was beating off watching her and she became horny, dropping to her knees to slob his knob in the shade of some pine trees. This led to a relatively passive series of vaginal penetration positions, the wind noise bugging me more than her repetitive vocals. She did some taste testing and rode better when she was on top, the lack of chemistry between them hampering the replay value significantly. The banging led to Dane withdrawing from her snatch to jerk off on her face, his modest wad of genetic juice flying uncontrollably around her head.

Kristina Rose with Anthony Rosano

Scene Two: Krissy Lynn, a busty blond cheater, was up next in the woods when she was caught by studly Mick Blue. Not wanting to incur bad luck, he went with her offer of sex as the fleshy babe knelt before him and slobbed his knob, her hunger for a snack seemingly carried forth to his rod. He sucked her tits too and gave a truncated lick, the active vaginal pounding showcasing her curves really well as he drilled her in several standing positions. She was even better in the cowgirl positions, Mick unleashing his nut of population pudding to her chest.

Sarah Vandella/Sara Sloane with Mr. Pete

Scene Three: London Keyes, the sexy brunette wearing a blue bikini as on the front cover (kneeling under Mick and Anthony), was up next with heavily tattooed Tommy Pistol (the guy standing on the far right side of the cover). London demanded he stick his tongue in her asshole, his initial protestations falling on deaf ears though he relished her taste once he began doing it. London moaned in pleasure in an over the top manner, pushing her hips back to meet his oral thrusts until it was time to aggressively suck him off. He reciprocated and while her hummer seemed truncated, he was plowing her pussy soon after that, his semi-flaccid pecker pounding her as best he could with some intermittent oral by the guy. It ended when he beat off a round of spunk to her mouth, London looking up at him with newfound respect.

Scene Four: Tori Lux, the cute brunette sitting on the front cover, was up next in a short blowjob only scene with Mick Blue. He was her hot protein dinner and she applied some enthusiasm to the task, the gal maintaining eye contact to speed things up for a facial.

Scene Five: Kristina Rose, the bootilicious brunette seen in black booty shorts and a striped top, was up next as she complained about the retraction of a challenge she would have been good at. To help her out, Anthony Rosano came up with an even better way for the sweet little gal to stay in the show, her top flying off to reveal her itty bitty titties and her shorts coming off to showcase the best ass in the entire show. He ate her ass and fingered her, Kristina kneeling down to aggressively inhale his meat pipe. She throated him and licked his balls, some standing vaginal fucking resulting in even more active cowgirl action. Her ass cheeks looked fine pounding to meet his thrusts, eventually draining him of semen as he rubbed it out to her awaiting face. Kristina won extra points for enthusiasm, her facial the reward for a job well done.

Scene Six: Sarah Vandella/Sara Sloane, the now former contract gal seen standing in the center of the cast photo on the cover, was up last with botanical genius Mr. Pete in an open clearing as she sat on his lap and spread her cheeks so he could compete with the flies for some of her juices (no kidding, there were flies hovering around her snatch). His oral was matched or surpassed by her own on his cock, his fingering exciting her enough to provide a solid little series of vaginal penetration positions. Sarah was an active rider and came across as having some chemistry with Pete, her bouncing on his rod allowing her ass cheeks to ripple delightfully well. The ending load of sperm came when he jerked off to her face, the sun setting which caused extra grain.

Summary: Official Survivor Parody by director Nate Liquor for Third Degree tried something offbeat by being a reunion show of sorts, not trying to eliminate an entire season worth of competitors in the limited time available for a parody needing most of the running time for the obligatory sexual trysts. In that sense, it provided a good amount of sex with some amusing acting by Anthony Rosano as the lead but it fell short in the chemistry department as the production appeared somewhat rushed in ways. Still, it was worth a rating of at least a Rent It or better for those into the spoof type of parody, a few of the scenes standing out as better than the rest by far. In short, the Official Survivor Parody was a basic fuck flick with some trimming added on for good measure, the gonzo styled sex often tacked on to the limited story but well worth a load of genetic juice or two if you like the cast as much as I did so give it a run and see for yourself whether it might be suitable for your stroking pleasure.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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