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Brittney Jones Confidential

Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 1/19/11

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Brittney Jones Confidential


Genre: Celebrity

Director: Uncredited

Cast: Brittney Jones, uncredited male

Length: 86:23 minutes

Date of Production: 9/2/2009 (box cover); 2010 (the credits)

Brittney Jones

Extras: The first disc had some spam and a 32:24 minute sampler from the Vivid-Celebrity line. Then came a second disc of extras called the "Vivid 25th Anniversary DVD". This disc had 211:06 minutes of edited scenes from the Vivid vaults, a great many of them very appealing as a sampler even if I would have greatly preferred to see them in their original form. Starting off with Ginger Lynn & Tom Byron from 1984 and working all the way to Nikki Jayne (with Mick Blue and Ben English) in 2008, it was an interesting way to see how scenes changed over the years, many scenes using condoms or edited so heavily that the true extent of industry changes couldn't be felt so much but well worth looking at a time or two. This disc also had some trailers and spam for those that care, the compression rate on the weak side for those that care.

Condoms: None

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Brittney Jones

Audio/Video Quality: Brittney Jones Confidential was presented in 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen as distributed by Vivid in the MPEG-2 codec, the camera relatively stable for such a “celebrity” video in most cases. The lighting was amateurish and there was a significant amount of close up work, a few of the POV trysts with the uncredited male appearing particularly grainy and slightly out of focus. There was a lot of tease footage where nothing Brittney Jones said was heard over the replacement music score, the difference between this flick and most others in the genre being that this one was clearly staged rather than a true collection of footage shot by some unsuspecting couple. In all, it looked okay for the most part, better than home movies yet a far cry from professional porn shot under optimal conditions, the video bitrate hovering around the 7.2 Mbps mark when spot checked., the ever present company watermark displayed in the lower right hand corner of the screen. The audio was offered up in a 2.0 Dolby Digital enhanced English using a 48 kHz sampling rate and 256 Kbps bitrate, much of the initial footage using a dubbed score rather than the vocals of Brittney speaking (until the 13 minute mark). Once the vocals kicked in, they were on the plain side but given the confined area of the shoot, fair enough to hear what was being said.

Brittney Jones

Body of Review: Vivid has long been one of the few companies that truly embraced the idea of selling celebrity sex tapes, anteing up gobs of money to a variety of dubious sources in order to gain access to a whole array of public profile folks in various states of undress and coitus. Generally speaking, few of the “celebrities” have been top names, at least not in the prime of their careers, and most of them seem to start off denying the tapes exist, then publicly suing to regain such tapes, and then appear to work out a deal to promote such works to extend their 15 minutes of fame or jumpstart a stalled career. The latest such title is called Brittney Jones Confidential, making one wonder what kind of celebrity the lady might be. To get to the point, she is notorious due to her allegation of sleeping with a married man in Hollywood, the guy being actor Ashton Kutcher. Whether she was just a hooker, as many claim, or a star chaser, as others suggest, she has appeared in the tabloid press a number of times to allege that she had all kinds of sexual encounters with Kutcher. How that translates into her being a true celebrity, well, these days the public has a voracious appetite for scandal involving actual celebrities, the gal supposedly cashing in on selling one of the guy’s semen stained sweaters on Ebay to prop up her claim.

Brittney Jones

The company website said this of the celebrity sex tape: “Could she have made a superstar stray? The answer's in the tape. Brittney Jones Confidential...the secret is out! Vivid Entertainment has announced that it has acquired a sex tape starring 21-year-old brunette beauty Brittney Jones, famous for her alleged brief but passionate liaison with Hollywood actor Ashton Kutcher. It's been widely reported that the two engaged in sex on a living room sofa in Kutcher's Beverly Hills home after he met Brittney at a Hollywood's Lucky Strike bowling alley. Kutcher and his wife Demi Moore are among the highest profile married couples in Hollywood. Vivid has obtained never-before-released footage that shows Brittney engaged in very explicit, uninhibited sex with a former boyfriend...and it's very clear how this hot, young hardbody could seduce just about anybody...even in bowling shoes. Ashton's fans will undoubtedly enjoy seeing what the star himself may have experienced, in this exclusive video. "We've acquired the tape and confirmed its authenticity. Brittney is obviously a beautiful young girl who could clearly seduce any man," said Steven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of the world's leading adult film company. "We've consulted with our attorneys and feel comfortable that we will be able to distribute the tape."

Okay, for those that care, nowhere on the release is Ashton Kutcher or anyone who looks like him. Had that been the basis for the sex tape, it would surely garner more interest given his body of admittedly lightweight work in movies and television, of far more interest would be the guy banging his babe wife, Demi Moore. Needless to say, Nothing like that has surfaced as of yet, but you can imagine the fanfare if it did. Until that time though, the public will have to settle, and it is a major case of settle at that, to watch a twenty something brunette with average looks masturbating, walking around what appears to be a hotel suite, and getting some limited amounts of modest sized pecker and genetic juice in point of view fashion. Given most of the celebrity sex tapes to come out since the infamous Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee volumes years ago, Brittney sexually acquits herself fairly well though the illusion is often ruined by her perchance for always wearing makeup, her perfectly shaven pubes, and posing for the camera too readily (as if this were a video version of The Erotic Review and she was auditioning for clients). Here’s a brief look at the action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Rather than breakdown each sex act and what took place exactly as others will surely do in no time, suffice it to say that Brittney Jones was the sole focus of the 86-odd minute movie. A lot of the footage was her walking around dressed, dressing, or removing her attire, though the showering footage was cute too. She teased the camera wearing black booty shorts and masturbated a few times too, the handful of encounters with her uncredited male partner, we’ll just call him “Mr. Mediocrity”, shooting the bulk of material. They had vaginal sex and she overdid the vocals, his ability to maintain an erection noted from time to time. Brittney was not “an ugly looking skank” as suggested in the press but she would not be out of place among the scores of women entering porn to enhance their stripper or escorting careers, only to fade back into obscurity in under a year as thousands have before. In terms of her worth as a “celebrity”, your mileage is going to be mighty light since even the strongest connection to her and the limelight is as a footnote to someone else (and then, primarily on tabloid television shows like TMZ or the kind of newspapers that advertise women recently pregnant by Elvis Presley) but the double disc set also includes around four hours of additional material from the Vivid vaults, some of it as an advertisement for their celebrity sex line and the rest a time capsule of scenes since the founding of the company.

Summary: Brittney Jones Confidential by Vivid was worth a look to see what the buzz was about, the lead sexual performer easy enough on the eyes to provide a couple of stroke sessions. The choppy editing, likely to keep the male partner anonymous, was distracting and only her active riding skills saved it for me but stepping back for a moment; one should also consider that these kind of projects do bring a lot of interest into the industry (increasing sales) or Vivid owner Steve Hirsch wouldn’t be paying out so much and jumping in front of the cameras so often so I gave it a generous rating of Rent It. In short, Brittney Jones Confidential might just be a placeholder in the genre until a real celebrity comes along but it was better shot, better lit, and provided a better set of sexual trysts despite the many limitations of the male involved so give it a look and see for yourselves if it is worth another look.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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