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Merry Fucking XXXMas


Studio: White Ghetto Films » Review by Crimson Clown » Review Date: 2/16/11



XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

"Merry Fucking XXXMas" is an odd porno, and that's not particularly a bad thing. After suffering through "The Nutcracker porn" I saw through "Merry Fucking XXXmas" convinced I would see more of the same garbage. But in actuality I saw something so much more interesting. This really can't be classified as mature porn, but it sure does have a little bit of everything for everyone. Sometimes older women get fucked by young men, sometimes older men fuck younger women, and sometimes it's just straight up gorgeous women fucking or gettin fucked by men their own age. The first segment took me by surprise as Izida is an older woman cleaning up a living room as three muscular African American gentlemen donning Santa hats (so I guess this counts as a christmas porno then? Very lazy) are trying to figure out what to do and look over at Izida.

You'll never guess how this turns out.
You'll never guess where this is going.

I sat thinking "No... they're not going to fuck her." And yes. They fucked her. Triple threat on this older admittedly attractive woman is on the menu for segment one. After trying to figure out what to fuck, they naturally turn to the maid who they grab and yank in to their orgy. Before she can bat them off, she eventually submits and begins stroking off one of the gents as the other two rub their dicks along her ass. They then begin to face fuck her one by one as they strip all of her maid clothes off, and double team her getting sucked as the head gent fucks her from behind roughly. They then spread her wide fucking her long and hard as she giggles oblivious to their word (obviously she can't speak English), and she proceeds to ride them cowgirl as she leans over sucking the other. THey then double team her again spreading her wide as she's fucked up her pussy from behind and sucks on the other groaning and grunting with every pump. They eventually spread her wide again pounding her one by one as she cries out and they inject their cum in to her ho ho hole one after the other until the cleaning lady is left crouched down with cum dripping from her pussy.

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Does anyone in this movie speak any English? That's what I kept wondering after the introduction for this segment in which a gorgeous young girl asks Santa for a dirt old man in Russian. And he pops up. That's the set up! Do they just go in to immigration and ask people if they want to star in a sexy movie? What, too offensive a comment for you on a porn site? Well, in either case, she gets her wish and the actress gets to go home telling her family that she had an old man pop one off on her tits. I'm a assuming the people at White Ghetto Films just assume if you add a little knack to a movie it makes it a holiday theme. Put old sperm stained Santa hats on the performers and you'll get us a Christmas porno, put paper hearts in the background and it's a Valentine porno.

This third segment involving another Russian nymph likely didn't even bother to take her jewelry off when she came off the bus and looks about as ill-prepared as George W. Bush during a speech. But ever the vehement porn performer (snicker), she begins feeling herself up for the camera and sucking on her fingers like they're barbecue ribs, disgusting sucking sound and all. In what is obviously the last santa suit re-washed, an older man appears to eat her pussy ouf for some reason, and she bends over to suck his cock. After some more cock play, she rides him reverse cow girl as he groans about to have a double coronary. He then bends her over fucking her from behind barely fitting in her hole as she mimes moans and orgasm faces.

After doing her from behind and getting blown by her some more, he spreads her wide and fucks her anxiously as she groans barely delivering enough of a motion to signal she's enjoying this. After a little more fucking in front, she bends down and he pops one off on her chest revealing the little snow flakes around her tits. I can't believe they get older than the last man, but they proved me wrong.

Dwarf SEX! Yes, you read it right. This time we meet a dwarf sleeping who is molested and getting sucked on while pretending to sleep, and stuffs his mate engaging in a confusing and awkward segment. Truth be told I couldn't tell if both performers were dwarves or only one of them were, but lo and behold, they showed me that even Dwarves can stuff the pretty women, another one of whom just doesn't speak any English, and makes a point of not doing so.

Dwarf Sex! The Second Cumming! This time around, young gorgeous... Ivanka... is sleeping along a couch in her high heels, and short shorts donning a Santa Hat, and in comes Santa's Little Helper eating her pussy out as she welcomes him with open legs. She then bends over and proceeds to suck his cock as he pushes her head down anxiously, and then bends her over along the couch pounding her slowly while she groans and forces hersself on to him without crushing him. After sucking him off a little while, she rides him reverse cow girl, and then is spread wide as he fucks her long and hard finally popping off on her pussy.

Hot damn, what an odd show that was.


Audio/Visuals:
The audio is horrible, and I think this is made intentional since about 99 percent of the porn performers here are either Jamaican or Russian. And I'm not even joking. When they do manage to talk their accents are so thick they're barely coherent. The only real dialogue we get is in the first segment and the three African American performers have thick accents that make it impossible to understand what they're saying. Beyond that the visuals are apt for what the motif is. White, Red and... some more red. It's a Christmas porno White Ghetto Films style, so there's nothing really amazing to behold. It's watchable.

Goodies:
There is only a pop shot gallery for all of the segments and that's about that. There's your usual promotional gallery for the websites.

After Thought:
Watching "Merry Fucking XXXmas" is like watching an episode of Ripley's. What can happen always does, and what you think will never happen, often will. While you're disgusted in some respect, you still want to see what progresses, and you're still not able to believe your eyes. Granted, the women are gorgeous to some degree. Even the fifty something cleaning lady, but man... if you're in the mood for some odd porno entertainment, grab some beers and pop this one in. It's a definite Rent It.


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