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Not Bionic Woman and The Six Million Dollar Man XXX


Studio: Digital Sin » Review by The Mooninite » Review Date: 4/24/11


XCritic's Advice: Recommended

The Movie:

Will Ryder, one of the modern masters of the XXX porn parody, combines two seventies action classic series’ into one surprisingly hot adults only variation with X-Play’s Not Bionic Woman & The Six Million Dollar Man XXX. Here Bree Olson stars as Janie Summers, the Bionic Woman, Dale DaBone playing the Bionic Man. The story involves Bree’s efforts to unroot a spy working within the organization and going into a whole lot more detail than that would be spoiling some of the surprises that the movie has in store for us.

Here’s a look at who fucks who and how they do it:

Scene One – Bree Olson And Rocco Reed: When this scene opens up, so does Bree as we see her mounting Rocco’s prick while talking on the phone. It seems her help is needed so she needs to make this quick. She fucks Rocco’s cock hard and fast and then gets bent over in front of him and politely asks Rocco to fuck her from behind. He obliges, naturally, and that’s more or less it. The opening scene is a quick one and there’s no cum shot, but Bree is always a fox and looks like a blast in the sack, this scene is no exception.

Scene Two - Bree Olson And Dale DaBone: With Bree’s vacation now officially over and her mission underway, she’s not in the best of moods and with ex-boyfriend Dale hanging around, it’s just making things worse. He’s a smooth talker and she’s a nice girl, however, so before you know it she’s making up for lost time by sucking his cock until he blows a bionic load which she dutifully takes from him before pulling back and masturbating – a girl’s got to get herself off too, after all and it’s always a pleasure to watch Bree do her thing, solo or with a friend.

Scene Three – Aubrey Adams And Chad Diamond: Dale’s been asked to charm the pants off of a lady to plug her for information but since he just blew his bionic load with Bree, that’s not going to happen so he gets Chad to pitch hit for him by hypnotizing Aubrey and coaxing her into blowing Dr. Chad. He’s down with this and he responds in kind, spreading her legs and chowing down on her box, before laying her back on the table and slipping it in. She rolls over with her ass up in the air and he fucks her from behind and then she rides him reverse cowgirl, a position she seems to prefer if her enthusiasm is anything to go by. She pulls off of Chad and drops to her knees where he places a pretty hefty load across her face and ends the first true full on sex scene of the feature with style.

Scene Four – Danica Dillon And Eric Swiss: Even the background characters need a break now and then, so Danica and Eric decide to leave the bionic activities alone for a while and fuck. She gets on her knees and tugs his prick out of his pants to give him a nice, slow, deep blowjob – but then, without wanting to spoil a good gag in the film, they get interrupted and don’t finish.

Scene Five – Kim Kennedy And Eric Swiss: Eric, still horny, wants to make sure Kim has learned the oral skills necessary to excel in her position and so he puts his meat in her mouth and lets her go down. She’s game and takes him down her throat, and she very enthusiastically sucks his cock until he blows his load deep down her throat, which she takes like a rock star.

Scene Six – Kim Kennedy And And Eric Swiss: With the rest of their team distracted, Kim and Eric decide to go for round two, right in Bree’s living room! He spreads her legs and laps away at her pussy and then sticks his prick up in her as she coerces him and coaxes him on with some nice dirty talk. She rides him right there on the couch, cowgirl style, then pulls off of him for some pussy to mouth action and gives him some more top quality head before getting on all fours for some doggy style deep dick action. They finish up reverse cowgirl and she pulls off of him so he can stroke off onto her pussy and finish up a very hot scene.

Scene Seven – Victoria White And Dale DaBone: With Dale seemingly bound and determined to fuck each and every one of the ladies he works with, he winds up between Victoria’s legs, which isn’t a bad place to be at all. She takes his cock in her mouth and sucks him all the way down her throat showing some admirable sword swallowing skills and a penchant for working the camera with her eyes, always a turn on. After she’s blown him, she climbs up on top and rides him reverse cowgirl style and rides him until he’s ready to blow, at which point she pulls off of him and helps him to blow his load across her face, mouth and cleavage.

Scene Eight - Danica Dillon And Jack Lawrence: With Jack, a cop on the take, wanting what he thinks is his he winds up getting a crack at Danica’s snatch as a partial bribe. He spreads her legs on the hood of his car and eats her pussy like a man possessed, something she doesn’t seem to mind at all. He works his cock into her from a few different angles, and she makes the most of it, cramming him in there cowgirl and reverse and a few interesting variations on both. She bends over the hood and he taps her pussy from behind before turning her around and sticking his cock into her mouth and filling it with cum.

Scene Nine - Bree Olson And Rocco Reed: With Bree having narrowed down the candidates as to who the spy could be in the organization, she’s got to check Rocco’s cock out herself to make sure he’s on the up and up – and with Bree playing around down there, you know he’s going to have no problem with the ‘up’ aspect of that equation. She sucks his cock and basically fucks us all with her sexy eyes, talking dirty to him about what she’s doing to him while slobbering all over herself and really getting into her work without any fear of making a mess. She bends over in front of him and encourages him to fuck her hard from behind, and being the wise man that he is, he wastes no time obliging her. She sucks his cock again and then rides him reverse cowgirl and then finishes off the scene and the movie by sucking his cock one last time until he squirts into her mouth.

As entertaining as it is arousing, Ryder has done a pretty good job here and Olson is good enough as Jamie Summers that there’s no reason that they can’t bring her back for a sequel if they can get her out of Charlie Sheen’s place long enough to get her in front of the cameras. She’s got a nice screen presence and we all know the camera loves her, but she also does well with the more comedic aspects of the picture. The rest of the cast are strong as well, with Danica Dillon and Victoria White both impression. A nice blend of action, comedy and hot sex, Not Bionic Woman & The Six Million Dollar Man XXX took this reviewer by surprise and turned out to be a whole lot more enjoyable than most of us probably expected it to be.

The Video:

The movie is presented in a nice 1.78.1 anamorphic widescreen transfer that boasts good, lifelike color reproduction and strong detail levels throughout. There are some minor mpeg compression artifacts evident in a few of the scenes but aside from that the disc is well authored, meaning that there are no problems with edge enhancement or aliasing. Sometimes the colors look to have been intentionally muted a little bit, to give the movie a sort of old sitcom look, but once you get used to it you won’t likely notice it and generally the picture does look very good here.

The Audio:

Not Bionic Woman & The Six Million Dollar Man XXX sounds good in its English language Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo mix. The score, dialogue and ‘sounds of sex’ all come through loud and clear with nice channel separation and some fun directional effects. Bass response is tight and bouncy and the score in particular sounds very good. Levels are properly balanced and there are no problems with hiss or distortion to complain about. Overall, things sound great.

The Extras:

LFP/Play X have supplied seventy one minute Behind The Scenes featurette that’s got loads of interviews with the cast and crew of the picture and a lot of back stage footage of the cast members all doing their thing. Bree gets more attention than the rest of the cast, not surprisingly, but that’s not a bad thing and she doesn’t seem to mind the cameras being around her even one bit. Rounding out the extras are trailers for a few other XXX parody titles as well as animated menus and chapter selection.

Overall:

Not Bionic Woman & The Six Million Dollar Man XXX is a whole lot of hot, sexy fun with some great work from Olson and DaBone and solid efforts from the supporting cast as well. The DVD looks and sounds quite good and the hour plus bonus featurette adds some additional value to what is already a solid package. Those who don’t enjoy XXX parodies won’t find this the title that wins them over but it’s a solid entry in the ever expanding catalogue for those who do and they can consider this one recommended.



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