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Neu Wave Hookers

Studio: VCA » Review by Dr. Jay » Review Date: 8/8/11

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Genre: Feature
Director: Eon McKai
Cast: Dana DeArmond, Dirty Harry, Felix Vicious, James Deen, Joanna Angel. Justine Joli, Kurt Lockwood, Nyomi Zen, Riley Mason, Sierra Sinn, Tiger, Tommy Pistol .
Must-See Girls in Cast: Dana Dearmond.
Length: 02:24
Condoms: None.
Bonus: Two bonus stars: one for condom-free sex and the second for the cast, which includes Dr. Jay's Must-See Girl Dana Dearmond.


Neu Wave Hookers is not a remake of the classic New Wave Hookers (A copy of New Wave Hookers is, however, included for your viewing pleasure as part of this DVD's three-disc set.) Instead, its director, Eon McKai, pays, in a certain respect, homage to the original 1980's classic by bringing that movie into this movie's storyline. There's even a scene in which Dana DeArmond plays an underage Traci Lords, who actually appeared in the filming of the original New Wave Hookers. As you might imagine, Traci's original scene was deleted from New Wave Hookers back in the 1980's and isn't on the bonus DVD in this set either.

Neu Wave Hookers revolves around the life and times of five hookers (Felix Vicious, Joanna Angel, Justine Joli, Riley Mason, and Tiger) who share the same living quarters. When the movie begins, two of the hookers, Joanna Angel and Riley Mason, discover an old copy of New Wave Hookers on VHS at a garage sale. Intrigued, the girls buy the tape and share it with their roommates. The girls become so intrigued by the movie that they decide to break into the offices of VCA, the studio that produced the original New Wave Hookers, to find out more about the film. While digging through an old file cabinet, the girls happen upon documentation about how Gregory Dark (played by Tommy Pistol) "discovered" Traci Lords (played by Dana DeArmond) in a carwash. Of course, a flashback scene to the 1980's then shows us Traci's "audition," a blowjob she gives to Gregory Dark in the restroom of a carwash.

Neu Wave Hookers has two sub plots. First, while watching New Wave Hookers, the girls talk about some of their experiences while turning tricks. Sadly, it appears that three of the girls (Riley, Joanna, and Tiger) all had, at one time or another, the same repulsive "client" played by Dirty Harry. Harry so disgusts the girls that he can't even get to first base with them...he's so vile that he can't even pay for sex! However, Tiger does let him go a bit farther than the other girls before she makes her escape.

The girls also share some of their sexual escapades (and dreams) with each other. Joanna tells how she lusted for Kurt Lockwood after seeing him perform in a club. She, of course, gets her lust--and her pussy--satisfied by Kurt. Riley dreams about a sexual encounter with James Deen on a swing. And, Sierra Sinn confesses her deep-seated desire to be double-penetrated and then has her wish come true when she's double-plugged by James Deen and Tommy Pistol. As you might expect, the girls lust for each other, too. So, an incendiary five-way lesbian fuck fest concludes the movie.

Neu Wave Hookers has a funny plot, goofy dialog and "choreography" (there's dancing and synchronized movement throughout the movie), and tacky (and obviously fake) locations simulated on a sound stage. However, the goofiness sets the stage for loads of first-class sex! "I'm not a slut, I'm a neu wave hooker!"

Neu Wave Hookers is a fun and lighthearted feature that is very suitable for couples. The videography, audio, production values, and extras are top notch. But, some of the sex is a little mild for my taste and rates only an overall 4.0 rating on a five-point scale. Thus, even though the overall score of this movie is 5.00 (due to bonus points), I can only recommend this movie and not award it a higher honor.

Check out some photos of the girls in Neu Wave Hookers here. Enjoy!


In all, there are five solid sex scenes, three wanna-be's (Dirty Harry trying to get to first base with one of the girls), and a lackluster blowjob-only scene (I've read other reviewers call this Dana DeArmond and Tommy Pistol fellatio segment one of the best ever. I found it mediocre at best.). I'm only going to review the five "real" sex scenes and the blowjob.

Scene One

After nine minutes of introductory plot development, during which the girls buy the old New Wave Hookers tape and start to watch it, Riley Mason has to go on a "call" during which Dirty Harry tries to get her to fuck him--to no avail. Interestingly, Riley narrates tales of her real-life "escort" experiences in a voice-over as Dirty Harry does his best to grope and motivate her on the screen. Meanwhile, back at the hookers' house, Joanna, while watching the movie, daydreams about dancing at a club and shoving money into Kurt Lockwood's underwear. She even confesses that she'd "do anything" to be with him. Of course, she gets her wish in Scene One, a boy/girl/anal romp that rates 4.5 stars.

  • Foreplay 1: Kissing. Joanna and Kurt kiss passionately as they work together to strip off her clothes--right there on the dance floor. Once her tits are bare, he slaps them and greedily suckles her nipples. He also spanks her gorgeous butt with one hand while working the fingers of his other hand into her juicy pussy so he can finger-fuck it. Then, he gives her his fingers to suck clean.
  • Foreplay 2: Fellatio. Kurt gives "bad girl" Joanna several sharp spanks on the butt. Then, she sits in his lap and strokes his cock--still imprisoned in his underwear--while he reams her cunt with his fingers. Joanna loves it and groans passionately. Soon, she releases Kurt's huge cock from bondage and goes down on him, licking, sucking, swallowing, and stroking him greedily. She also gobbles his balls. And, she spits on his rod before taking it balls-deep down her capacious throat.
  • Foreplay 3: 69. Joanna and Kurt move into the 69 position so that Kurt can fuck her throat while using several of his fingers to please her pussy and anus (great close-ups). Of course, Kurt also uses his tongue to great advantage. Joanna loves the attention and responds by rimming and finger-fucking Kurt's asshole and by giving him a memorable combination hand/blowjob. Skillful Kurt soon has Joanna writhing through an orgasm.
  • Position 1: Reverse cowgirl. Joanna straddles Kurt so he can fuck her pretty bald pussy using the reverse cowgirl position. Joanna's puffy outer labia look fantastic as her pussy swallows Kurt's entire rod each time he pistons in and out. When Joanna's pleasure begins to build, she reaches down and strokes her pretty protruding clit. Then, she takes over the action and tosses her randy body up and down like a maniacal jumping jack.
  • Position 2: Doggie. Joanna kneels atop the dance floor so that Kurt can penetrate and fuck her pussy from behind. While he thrusts in and out, Kurt takes several opportunities to finger-fuck Joanna's asshole to prepare it for the reaming it will soon receive. And, to increase Joanna's pleasure, he sharply spanks her ass cheeks. Meanwhile, both Kurt and Joanna encourage each other with well-chosen naughty words and with groans of pleasure. Their words and actions pay big dividends when Joanna cums for the second time during the scene. During this segment, Joanna keeps Kurt's rod clean by sucking her juices off of his cock. He, in turn, keeps her asshole moist with his ravenous tongue.
  • Position 3: Anal spoon. Kurt lies behind Joanna and fucks her pussy for a short time before inching his rod up her tight asshole. Once her sphincter has relaxed enough for him to enter, he reams her with long and deep strokes. Meanwhile, her beautiful labia wink open and closed while she jacks her clit and finger-fucks her pussy. Joanna likes it so much that she cums yet again: "Yeah, I like that. I like the feel of that cock in my ass!" Afterward, she sucks his cock clean using nasty ass-to-mouth (ATM).
  • Position 4: Anal missionary. As Joanna lies on her back on the dance floor, Kurt uses his fingers to fuck both of her holes. Then, he rams his rod back up her ass and pounds her fast and deep. Meanwhile, she frantically uses her fingers to probe and fondle her juicy, pink, and very puffy pussy.
  • Popshot: Kurt stands and blasts his load into Joanna's smiling mouth and onto her face and chest. Then, she deep-throats him to suck him dry and, while laughing triumphantly, spits out his semen.

Scene Two

-- sponsored by --

Joanna then tells the girls about her unfortunate encounter with Dirty Harry. Like Riley, Joanna doesn't let Harry do much of anything--except fondle her--because he repulses her. On the other hand, Harry finds Joanna utterly irresistible (so do I!). After Joanna extricates herself from Dirty Harry's paws, she goes back to the girls' place and shares a girl-to-girl talk with Riley about Riley's infatuation with James Deen, a guy she's seen at a club. Talk turns to fantasizing as Riley imagines what it would be like to fuck James on a child's swing set. We, of course, get to see inside Riley's mind as her fantasy comes true in Scene Two. This highly inventive--and somewhat acrobatic--scene rates four stars. Unfortunately, I never saw sexy Riley cum during the scene.

  • Foreplay 1: Kissing and tit worship. James and Riley make out on and around the swing set. James slips Riley's boobs out of her top and madly suckles and squeezes them while reaching his hand into her hot red skin-tight pants to finger her immediately-wet pussy. Meanwhile, they share open-mouthed kisses.
  • Foreplay 2: Cunnilingus. Riley straddles one of the swings and supports herself by holding onto the chains. James squats before her and greedily licks, probes, and finger fucks her sweet bald-shaven pussy. Of course, Riley's body undulates with pleasure. As the scene continues, James licks his way around Riley's body and gives her perfect ass several sharp spanks.
  • Foreplay 3: Fellatio. Riley drops to her knees in front of James and eagerly kisses his cock through his pants. Once James' pants have been pulled out of the way, Riley goes down on him, sucking and stroking his cock madly as he shoves her head toward him to force his rod past her pierced tongue and deep down her throat. During this well photographed and highly effective blowjob, the camera pans across Riley's hot body and zooms in tight on her gorgeous all-natural tits.
  • Position 1: Doggie. Without bothering to remove his pants, James bends Riley over one of the swings, penetrates her from behind, and pounds her incessantly. He also chokes her throat and spanks her butt while she pants and groans ecstatically. As Riley's pleasure builds, she fucks him back, tossing her hot little body back and forth violently. Meanwhile, Riley inflames James' lust with well-chosen naughty words.
  • Position 2: Reverse cowgirl. Riley really shines in reverse cowgirl when she frantically fucks James' cock as he sits on one of the swings. While Riley pounds James, he sits back and enjoys the ride while pulling on Riley's hair. You and I get to enjoy superb close-ups of Riley's bald puffy pussy as it swallows James' king-sized cock balls-deep. Wow, Riley is one fantastic fuck!
  • Position 3: Missionary. Missionary is usually a somewhat ho-hum position...but not in this case! Riley lies on the seat of one of the swings so that James can fuck her--and spank her ass--while he stands in front of her (superb camera angels and close-ups). James rotates the swing around repeatedly so that he can alternatively fuck her inviting pussy and capacious throat. I strongly recommend you see this extremely inventive and highly effective segment for yourself.
  • Position 4: Standing. After taking a short break to suck her girl-juice off of James' rod and to gobble his lucky balls, Riley stands and leans against one of the supports of the swing set so James can fuck her dripping wet cunt while they stand face-to-face. During this segment, the explosive chemistry that develops between James and Riley is self-evident...they intuitively sense what the other wants and gives it. This is another highly inventive position that was expertly captured for our viewing pleasure.
  • Popshot: When James simply cannot hold back another second, Riley drops to her knees and sticks out her pierced tongue to catch James' load. He then showers Riley's tongue, face, and chest with a very generous amount of semen. While smiling broadly--and looking deeply into our eyes--Riley sucks James' rod dry and swallows.

Scene Three

Dirty Harry tries again...this time with sweet chocolate-brown Tiger. Although Tiger, like her hooker sisters, detests Harry, she lets him play with her sweaty tits, squeeze her pierced nipples, and stroke her bare pussy and naked thighs. Afterward, back at the hookers' house, the girls watch a DP scene on their TV. Joanna admits to her sisters that she's been DP'd. Sierra Sinn confesses, "I wanna try it." She gets her wish in Scene Three with James Deen and Tommy Pistol. Sierra's girlfriends get up from their couch and push the TV aside so that James and Tommy can join Sierra. Once her sisters are out of the way, the fireworks begin. This scene rates four stars. Even though this high-energy scene includes a DP sequence and two facial popshots, Sierra never gets a chance to cum herself.

  • Foreplay 1: Serenade. The trio heads out to a club where James and Tommy, believe it or not, serenade Sierra: "I see a piece of ass chillin' at the club and it walks right by me, giving me a rub!" Meanwhile, Sierra, seated in the background, starts to drip while listening to her guys sing to hear. She even boldly walks up to them and gropes their bodies as they sing! And, during an instrumental part of the guys' song, she readily submits when they tear open her pants and fondle her oversexed body. I've never seen anything quite like this in an adult movie. It's hot stuff!
  • Foreplay 2: Kissing and titty worship. After the guys finish their song, they escort Sierra to a private booth in a far corner of the club. They kiss her passionately and pull aside her top so they can suckle and grope her tits. Little-by-little, the guys literally rip Sierra's clothes off of her body until she's naked except for her yellow-and-black striped stockings.
  • Foreplay 3: Cunnilingus/fellatio. Sierra bends down on the plush booth couch and groans with pleasure as James rims her asshole. He also spanks, strokes, and multiple-finger-fucks her slippery pussy (she sucks his fingers clean). Meanwhile, Sierra pulls Tommy's cock out of his pants so she can have something big and hard to suck.
  • Position 1: Doggie. James' lust quickly builds so that he is no longer satisfied by touching and licking Sierra's cunt. So, he pulls down his pants and begins to pound her spit-soaked pussy from behind while Sierra, in turn, continues to blow--and choke on--Tommy's rod and talks nasty. While reaming Sierra's pussy, James takes several opportunities to spank and squeeze her pretty ass cheeks.
  • Position 2: Missionary. Sierra sucks James' cock clean and then lies on her back so that Tommy can fuck her pussy missionary style. Sierra keeps her mouth occupied by ravenously sucking James' rod while Tommy fucks her (great camera angles and use of the widescreen video).
  • Position 3: Reverse cowgirl. After one of the very few abrupt edits in Neu Wave Hookers, an edit that doesn't include transitioning footage, Sierra eagerly pounds James' cock by tossing her muscular body up and down as her labia swallow every inch (great video). Tommy's cock keeps Sierra's mouth full.
  • Position 4: Cowgirl DP. Sierra lies atop James so he can fuck her pussy cowgirl style. Then, Tommy inches his rod into her tight asshole so the guys can double-plug her holes (nice close-ups). Sierra loves it and shouts out, "Fuck my asshole. That feels so fucking good! I love it when my holes are filled! Yeah, fill me up!"
  • Popshots: Both guys plaster Sierra's face and fill her mouth with their hot semen. James' pop is truly impressive...its high-velocity stream overshoots Sierra's face! After the guys' spasms recede, Sierra uses her fingers to wipe their cum into her mouth so she can swallow it.

Scene Four

The sisterhood of hookers finishes watching New Wave Hookers and then the girls decide they simply must know more about the history and making of the movie. They break into VCA's headquarters and find evidence of under-aged Traci Lord's "audition" with Gregory Dark. Dana DeArmond and Tommy Pistol then re-enact that quickie blowjob in Scene Four. I'm generally not a fan of fellatio-only scenes and this one is no exception. There's nothing particularly noteworthy about it, I'm afraid. It's just a blowjob, Tommy's cock is not all that impressive (my dick gets much harder and more erect!), the popshot is nearly non-existent, and Dana never gets naked. On the other hand, the music-video-style break-in perpetrated by the girls before the blowjob is extremely entertaining and loads of fun to watch. Two and one-half stars.

Scene Five

Later, the girls continue to obsess about Kurt Lockwood. One of them surmises that Kurt likes Asian girls. So, we get to see Kurt enjoy a hot b/g/g threeway in Scene Five when he gets his way with both Nyomi Zen and hot-as-can-be Riley Mason. Even though the sex is hot and intense--and the foreplay positions absolutely outstanding--neither girl gets to cum. Bottom line, this b/g/g all-vag scene rates four stars.

  • Foreplay 1: Groping and two-on-one fellatio. Nyomi Zen and Riley escort Kurt into a junk room full of old computers--and a chaise lounge for sex--where they proceed to undress each other (Kurt literally rips Nyomi's pantyhose off her body!). Soon, all six hands are fondling hard and shapely flesh as the performers begin to stoke their pleasure engines. As soon as Kurt's raging hard-on has been released from his pants, the girls drop to their knees to worship his rod and balls with their mouths and hands. Is there anything better than two mouths on one cock? I sure as hell wish I was in Kurt's position right now! The action gets even better when Nyomi rims Kurt's lucky asshole.
  • Foreplay 2: 69. Riley straddles Kurt in the 69 position so that he can feast on her sweet cunt while she and Nyomi continue to gobble his cock and rim (and even tongue-fuck) his asshole. Great camera angles and close-ups show us everything we want to see during this segment.
  • Foreplay 3: Standing 69. Before moving on to sex, the girls again spend a few minutes double-teaming Kurt's cock. Then, Kurt carries Riley aloft, upside down, so that she and Kurt can eat each other in the standing 69 position. Damn, this is fantastic to watch! Meanwhile, Nyomi sits on the floor beneath Kurt so she can suck and stroke his rod and gobble his balls. Wow! I'd give almost anything to be Kurt at this moment!
  • Foreplay 4: Fellatio/cunnilingus chain. Nyomi sits on the couch so that Riley can lick and probe her sweet pussy. While she tongue-fucks Nyomi, Riley pleases herself by masturbating. Meanwhile, Kurt stands on the couch on top of Nyomi so that he can fuck her throat from above.
  • Position 1: Reverse cowgirl/cunnilingus. After the trio shares a delightful threeway kiss, Kurt lies back on the chaise lounge and both girls straddle him: Riley and Kurt pound each other in the reverse cowgirl position (great close-ups) while Nyomi grinds her cunt against his face. Riley's enthusiasm is contagious and her pleasure apparent, especially when Nyomi reaches around from behind to squeeze her nipples.
  • Position 2: Missionary/cunnilingus. It soon becomes apparent that Nyomi wants much more than to fuck Kurt's face. So, she lies down on the chaise lounge so that Kurt can fuck her missionary style with fast and frenzied strokes. Meanwhile, Riley straddles Nyomi's face so that Nyomi can feast on her dripping pussy. While Kurt fucks Nyomi, he reaches over and kisses Riley's open mouth. And, he chokes her throat and slaps her tits, too. During this segment, Riley repays Kurt's actions by sucking Nyomi's girl-juice off of his cock. To increase their lust, Riley, Nyomi, and Kurt taunt each other with lots of provocative naughty talk. This results in even more frenzied sweat-inducing fucking.
  • Position 3: Cowgirl. Riley gets another chance to get her pussy stuffed when she mounts and rides Kurt cowgirl style (great shots of Kurt's girl-juice-soaked cock sliding in-and-out of Riley's vagina). As Riley fucks and grinds Kurt's cock, Nyomi ravenously suckles Riley's inviting and perky nipples. And, she takes an opportunity to fuck Kurt's face, too.
  • Position 4: Missionary. Greedy Riley gets to experience yet another position when Kurt pounds her from above, missionary style. Meanwhile, nasty Nyomi finger-fucks Kurt's asshole and sharply spanks his butt.
  • Popshot: Both girls kneel before Kurt as he jacks his voluminous load all over their pretty faces. The girls lick each others' cum-splattered faces clean and then kiss to cum swap.

Scene Six

Scene Six is an awesome and extra-long five-girl orgy featuring all of the Neu Wave Hookers. This scene unfolds like a music video set to a song called "orgasmatron." I fucking loved it. The female cast of this scene is absolutely superb. I really enjoyed the juxtaposition of different-looking girls--blonds, redheads, brunettes, Caucasians, African-Americans, tattoos, no tattoos, piercings, no piercings, and so forth--as well as the girls' varying outfits and hairstyle. I particularly enjoyed seeing gorgeous redhead Justine Joli in action. I met her on a shoot one time but seldom get to see her perform because she only does girls and I don't get to review many all-girl movies.

As always, it's extremely difficult to write about an orgy because too much sex is going on at the same time. Suffice it to say that this five-star Sapphic fuck fest contains everything I look for in a girl/girl scene: 1) lots of pussies, clits, and tits; 2): oodles of cunnilingus, clit-jacking, titty-fucking, and multiple-finger pussy pounding; 3) spitting and spit-swapping; 4) nipple sucking; 5) open-mouthed kissing and tongue dueling; 6) hair pulling; 7) nasty talk; 8) ecstatic screams; 9) spankings; 10) foot and shoe worship; 11) strap-on cocks and other untold-pleasure-inducing toys, including two-toys-on-one-clit action; 12) pussy-juice eating; 13) ass fucking with a butt plug; 14) face fucking; 15) double-penetration with toys; 16) love chains; and, most importantly, 17) innumerable orgasms! In particular, Riley Mason's and Felix Vicious' body-quaking orgasms are the stuff of my dreams! I'll dream about Joanna Angel's numerous orgasms and her strap-on/butt plug DP, too!

DVD Perspectives

Video (technical): The 16:9 widescreen video is extremely good. I like the MTV-style editing that keeps things interesting without losing continuity; the use of interesting special effects, both analog (on-set smoke) and digital; and the intriguing lighting. There is no hint of digital compression artifacts and the image is clear and bright--even enlarged to fill my computer's screen. Five stars.

Audio (technical): The audio, like the video, is top-notch. Although there's an integral soundtrack supporting the action, the sweet sounds of sex are never obfuscated. In addition to the main audio track, there's a second track that features running commentary by performers and crew. Five stars.

Extras: The Extras included with Neu Wave Hookers are so numerous that a total of three DVDs are included in the package. Disc One contains Neu Wave Hookers, a full-motion chapter selector, audio commentary, an a fetish selector by girl (choose Joanna Angel and then select BJ, reverse cowgirl, doggie, anal, pop, and so on). On Disc Two, you'll find self running slide shows for each girl; a hardcore sex slide show; trailers for other movies directed by Eon McKai; a website ad; a short outtake reel; a 26-minute behind-the-scenes feature; and a "Making of New Wave Hookers" feature. Disc Three contains the Dark Brothers classic 1980's version of New Wave Hookers starring the incomparable Ginger Lynn. Five stars.

Aesthetics: Although I assume that it was part of the plan, I find the sets to appear extremely tacky. It's obvious that the background consists of painted scenery instead of the real thing. In other words, the scenes were all shot on a sound stage instead of in real locations. Again, I assume that's supposed to be part of the goofy theme of the movie. However, I found it a bit distracting. On the other hand, I found the wardrobe and make-up (especially the 1980's blowjob scene) to be extremely well done and in keeping with the movie's plot and each scene's theme. Even better, the music is outstanding. Much of the movie feels like a music video and the music--provided by Gold Chains & Sue Cie, The Ponys, Bedroom Walls, Electrocute, Gravy Train!!!, Dirty Sanchez, Avenue D, and Nonplus--is absolutely superb. In addition, the non-musical soundtrack (sometimes spooky) perfectly supports the plot development or sex. Although I seldom do this, I simply must mention the packaging. Not only is the three-disc caddy among the best designed from a mechanical perspective, it also has some of the most intriguing and pleasing graphics I've seen on an adult movie package. Four and one-half stars!

Final Thoughts

Average sex rating: 4.00
Average video rating: 5.00
Average audio rating: 5.00
Average production values rating: 4.50
Extras rating: 5.00
Bonus point(s): 2.00
Overall rating: 5.00

X Critic Pick (4.5+ sex; 4.0+ production values; 4.5+ overall)
Highly Recommended (4.5+ sex; 4.0+ overall)
Recommended (4.0+ sex; 4.0+ overall)
Rent It (<4.00 sex; <4.00 overall)
Skip It (<3.50 sex; <4.00 overall)

Dr. Jay

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