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Phil Varone's Secret Sex Stash

Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 8/3/11

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

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Phil Varone’s Secret Sex Stash


Genre: Celebrity Sex, POV

Sheena and Madisyn

Director: Phil Varone

Cast: Sheena Ryder, Madisyn, Phil Varone, Austin Lee, Layla Lovelace, Heather, Shay Morgan

Length: 235:11 minutes

Groupie ass from scene 1

Date of Production: 12/21/2010

Extras: There was spam, a secret bonus for those with smart phones, and a 34 minute long celebrity sex sampler from similar titles in the series.

Condoms: Yes

Austin and Phil

Audio/Video Quality: Phil Varone’s Secret Sex Stash: Rather than regale you with technical terms and all sorts of jargon you might not know, suffice it to say that the look of most scenes was strictly home movie quality, a few scenes showing better lighting or microphone placement to allow for the audience to better hear the vocals. There was no effort to include any of Phil’s music from Skid Row or Saigon Kick but fans can simply play tunes from those bands if they are interested in sealing the deal completely. There was a company watermark for those that care though, perhaps the only thing out of place as far as I was concerned.

-- sponsored by --

Layla and Phil

Body of Review: Vivid is the American porn production company known more for their celebrity sex efforts of late than anything else, their latest release by musician Phil Varone. For the majority of people out there that have never heard of the guy, he was a drummer for Skid Row and Saigon Kick, currently engaged in smaller projects that even fewer people have probably heard. Still, in terms of living the rock and roll fantasy, it is tough to argue that the man has not had his share of groupies over the years, the advertised nature of the unknown performers on the unrelated scenes allegedly all unscripted trysts of varying quality. The name of the production is Phil Varone’s Secret Sex Stash and while the first thought coming to mind is that Tommy Lee has nothing to worry about from Phil in terms of competition (musically or sexually), the sex was not half bad (especially the frequent bouts of oral given him) even if the technical values were far from professional. The back cover described the movie like this: “In between drumming for Saigon Kick, Skid Row and Prunella Scales, Phil Varone had a hobby. He collected groupies... and put it all on film. Here are his personal sex tapes... and it truly is groupies gone wild! See Phil lay a double-facial on an 18-year old hottie and her girlfriend. See the nasty milf fulfill her fantasy of fucking a rock star. See the redhead with no gag reflex. And Shay... who's husband watched on Skype! Into sex, drums and rock and roll? Get your fill... with Phil. Only from Vivid.” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that condoms were used for those still interested:

Heather and Phil

Scene One: Sheena Ryder and Madisyn were up first, jerking Phil Varone off and blowing him, their need for rock star seed undeniable. While not the most polished performances, the ladies did much on each other a little and allowed him access to their pussies as long as he wore a rubber. There were lots of little breaks between the otherwise continuous action here too, the ladies putting their heads together for him to rub out a wad of genetic juice on their faces.

Shay and Phil

Scene Two: Austin Lee, a brunette sporting a goth look, was up next as she slobbed the knob of Phil Varone in a dark room, some hand to gland assistance increasing the friction before some condom clad vaginal penetration. She seemed more consistently active during her riding portions of the scene, going balls deep on his modest member and doing some taste testing along the way to milking his nut of population pudding for him (though he took over at the last minute to toss off on her face).

Scene Three: Layla Lovelace, an older chick with ample breasts if lacking in serious skill with a meat pipe, handled Phil Varone next. They were in a small room and she only blew him, focusing the majority of her efforts on the head of his penis as her hand worked the shaft. She looked at the camera too much and he assisted in beating off to her face, the limited amount of spunk causing her to laugh.

Scene Four: Heather, a cute redhead/strawberry blond with an average body, was up next in bed with Phil Varone. She wore a black dress and pink panties, teasing him a bit until she inhaled his pecker, going deeper than the old broad and masturbating to add something to the scene. He chowed on her and she sat on his cock, the vaginal tryst showing her appreciation for his rod (and displaying her Disneyland tattoo on her lower back). He wore a condom and she was an active rider, the natural enjoyment more interesting to me than the typical porn tryst (and showing more chemistry this time, at least in her attitude). He jerked off to her face at the end, his splooge again limited in quantity but the gal happy enough to laugh about it.

Scene Five: Shay Morgan, a stripper-next-door type, was up last as she claimed that her husband was watching her while she boned Phil Varone, her oral efforts showing she had seen plenty of cock in her time from the looks of it. She concentrated on his head and quickly tossed aside her panties to provide greater access, the titty fuck looking like a lot of fun and both of them going down on each other before the short duration of vaginal screwing. He fingered her asshole and there was some protected anal sex, the gal squinting when he rubbed out a nut of semen on her face.

Summary: Phil Varone’s Secret Sex Stash by director Phil Varone for distribution by Vivid might not be the ideal celebrity sex footage given his marginal fame or the limits of what his groupies did (not to mention their looks; I thought groupies were supposed to be “hot”) but it struck me as worth a look or three based on the relatively natural manner of sex the participants enjoyed, copying the tenants of porn but not providing the often strict pacing of the professional material I am more used to reviewing. For all the technical and thematic limitations though, this was a Rent It or better for me, Phil Varone’s Secret Sex Stash coming across as scripted at times but never as boring as the majority of celebrity releases seem to be of late so give it a look.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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