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Elastic Assholes 9

Studio: Jules Jordan Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 8/18/11

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

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Mike John’s Elastic Assholes 9

Jules Jordan Video/Mike John Productions

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Mike John

Cast: Liza Del Sierra, Mr. Marcus, Jessie Volt, Chad Alva, Mark Zane, Sasha Sweet, Mr. Pete, Kimberly Kane, Tim Von Swine, Cassandra Cruz

Length: 181:27 minutes

Liza Del Sierra

Date of Production: 7/7/2011

Extras: There were six trailers, a popshot recap, a photogallery, websites, a cast list too, and a BTS lasting 33:50 minutes. The BTS was mostly a series of sex scenes mixed in with the attendant photoshoots, Tim and Mike adding comments along the way (definitely adding some fun) including some “tips and tricks” for those that care.

Condoms: None

Jesse Volt

Audio/Video Quality: Mike John’s Elastic Assholes 9 was presented in an appealingly clear 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen color as shot by director Mike John for Jules Jordan Video as presented in the MPEG-2 format so common to standard definition titles (with 480 resolution). The lighting was consistently solid, generally limiting the grain and other visual flaws in the open settings of the house, no scenes going far outside the box in terms of centering on dark rooms this time. There were no compression artifacts (the bitrate hovering in the 4.5 Mbps range most of the time I paid any attention to it) and the fleshtones were nearly perfect, making this one visually solid for my finicky tastes. As expected, Tim Von Swine assisted on the production and the entire movie was the better for it, Tim having learned enough from Mike to hold the camera steady while tapping some sweet ass on a level few of their peers are able to do these days. The 2.0 Dolby Digital English audio (in 192 Kbps with a 48 kHz sampling rate) was a bit more basic with no separation or major dynamic range but I could always hear what was said and the music didn't interfere with my viewing pleasure. The music dominated during the tease sequences and fans may find this a marked change for the director from most of his works to date.

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Sasha Sweet

Body of Review: Mike John is currently one of the directors distributed by Jules Jordan Video. He has long been a presence in the industry at a wide variety of companies but his POV gonzo work has always seemed to be an upgrade from many of the generic producers available, the man settling in to provide niche material these days to appreciative fans. His latest title to make it my way is called Mike John’s Elastic Assholes 9, a set of five scenes in which ladies like cover girl Liza Del Sierra, Kimberly Kane, Jessie Volt, Sasha Sweet, and Cassandra Cruz each gave up their ass for a solid bit of action. Having watched several volumes of the series in the past, I knew that the anal action included would likely be enthusiastic and passionate, the casting always trying to find just the right gals to partake in the elasticity clause of the project. Here’s a very brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that obviously no condoms were used for those still interested:

Kimberly Kane

Scene One: Liza Del Sierra, the curvaceous babe featured on the right side of the front cover (for good reason!), was up first with Mr. Marcus in an interracial romp, her mouth, pussy, and ass all working towards the goal of milking his nuts dry of genetic juice. She’s been around porn for awhile now and gathered some fine reviews over the years but she has been standing out of late as many producers see what some of us have been talking about. She teased in her red bikini by the pool after getting her makeup done, Marcus giving her a little loving in the process, her smile and positive attitude enhancing her appealing figure nicely. She played with her boobs and moved inside to disrobe further, Marcus enjoying her sweet oral aptitude as she inhaled his pecker soundly. It took him a bit to get excited and erect but her devotion to duty worked wonders for him, Liza soon pumping her ass up and down as he porked her pussy senseless. Liza clearly enjoyed his black rod pounding her too, the gal not given to generic porn moaning as so many of her peers have taken to doing of late. It ended when he tossed out a round of population pudding to her mouth and face, Liza gleefully slobbing his knob one last time in a post coital tribute.

Cassandra Cruz

Scene Two: Jessie Volt, the cute blond on the lower middle of the front cover was up next with both Chad Alva and Mark Zane, the lady returning from France to get Tim’s motor running. While on the lean side, her ass looked great and her perfect pucker drove the scene director crazy, the two mopes used indicative of modern day porn budgets weakening a scene. There was some oral by the guys and Jessie worked their cocks over nicely enough, trying to form a love connection given the minimal amounts of chemistry generated between them. As small as she was, this made the men look “bigger” and she enjoyed the tryst as exercise if nothing else, the men taking turns on her pussy and mouth until it came time to do some modestly passive anal. That led to a DP (double penetration) but she was even more passive for that so while this was perhaps the weakest scene of the bunch, it was okay as stroke fodder to see the lovely gal push her limits (and after she warmed up, her anal penetration positions did improve). The scene ended when the men rubbed out wads of spunk to her face, her post coital head while looking at the camera almost daring Tim to show the men how to do her right.

Scene Three: Sasha Sweet, the brunette seen on the upper left hand corner of the front cover, was up next with Mr. Pete, the curvy young lady easy on the eyes and imagination. She posed by the pool as Mike made her more comfortable, her skimpy blue jean skirt and bikini top barely holding her assets in. Sasha had a girl next door appeal to her and seemed to enjoy masturbating in the daylight, her shapely ass beckoning to be hammered by Pete once she went inside. He toyed with her tits and ate her out, a short but playful blowjob leading to some very active riding by the woman. I liked her tits bouncing and her fleshy ass rippling when later pounded, the pubic patch just enough to give fans of pubes something to think about. She did not do as much anal here as expected but she was an active ride there too, diddling herself silly as she impaled herself on his cock in her ass and soon taking the facial of splooge to swallow.

Scene Four: Kimberly Kane, the fetching brunette featured on the upper middle of the front cover, was up next as she again proved that she is not just a feature porn performer but can fuck with the best of them as well. I was not an early adopter of hers but the strength of her performances over time won me over, her red bikini undies sheer enough to see all her parts as Tim Von Swine bantered with her. He fingered her perfect pucker and the POV scene proceeded without a hitch, Kimberly throating him in sloppy fashion as he restrained himself from unleashing his load early. She then opened up her legs for him and he took her in hearty fashion, first nailing her pussy and then her ass as she reeled with enjoyment. Her eye contact was superb and she used a dildo to get a technical DP, orgasming easily when a wand vibrator was added to the mix. Tim then rubbed one out on her anal gape, his sticking semen flying all over the place as she farted some out of her ass.

Scene Five: Cassandra Cruz, the Latina spitfire seen on the lower left hand corner of the front cover, was up last with Mark Zane. She began with an interview by Tim in her purple bikini and platform shoes, Tim and her reminiscing about her first stint in porn before her more recent comeback. She was cleanly shaven and frisky as could be, Cassandra showing a surprising degree of a connection with Mark as he ate her out and offered up his pecker for play. Normally, his work is such that it is easy to dismiss and the productions he is in suffer but on occasion he does just fine and that appeared to be the case here. The two were active vaginal riders but she was also just as solid an anal performer here too, throwing herself into the action and getting off as her fleshy ass rippled delightfully well. After repeatedly going balls deep inside her ass, Mark beat off a round of spew into her open mouth and she appeared to swallow it, ending the show on almost as high a note as it began.

Summary: Mike John’s Elastic Assholes 9 by director Mike John for Jules Jordan Video was another strokable venture by the director, the replay value and quality of the action again adding up to a rating of Highly Recommended or better. I have a newfound appreciation for some of the cast thanks to this release and some of the buzz regarding a couple of them being superstar material is surely proving true so gonzo fans will want a copy for themselves. In short then, Mike John’s Elastic Assholes 9 was again full of the fun factor that makes the director’s movies so appreciated, his ability to showcase sexually skilled hotties in a fuck flick a testament to his ability to enhance the performances of his excellent casting. If you want “pretty porn”, something to enjoy with a new girlfriend not yet acclimated to hardcore smut, or full of straight for pay men doing disinterested women, look elsewhere but if you want some powerful pecker wrangling, give this one some love.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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