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Badass School Girls 5

Studio: Adam & Eve » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 9/21/11

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Badass School Girls 5

Adam & Eve

Genre: Vignette

Director: David Lord

Cast: Nicole Aniston, Derrick Pierce, Britney Amber, Mr. Pete, Victoria White, Seth Gamble, Ash Hollywood, Rocco Reed, Teagan Presley, Kortney Kane; Alanah Rae & Chris Johnson in bonus scene only)

Length: 100:51 minutes

Alanah Rae (bonus scene only)

Date of Production: 2011

Extras: The extras started out with an 18:52 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Barrett Blade, the footage blending a mixture of interviews, photoshoots, and portions of the movie being shot. There was then a series of interviews (presumably, the BTS used short portions of these) lasting a combined total of 21:26 minutes, 3:52 minutes of Bloopers, a short 2:52 minute clip of Victoria White and her clothing bag (she merited a rating of 4.5 on David’s scale), some trailers, spam, a photogallery, and a bonus scene lasting 24:35 minutes from Kayden’s College Tails (as described below).

Condoms: None


Audio/Video Quality: Badass School Girls 5 was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen as shot by director David Lord for Adam & Eve. The standard definition version had a decent bitrate but the lighting was spotty, and the editing by Shadow Bradley was what I typically call “choppy” as it bounced around too much, too quickly. The camerawork by David and Ren Savant appeared to be pretty good (no surprise there considering their years of skillful releases) but I had the impression that only one camera shot any particular scene at a given time in most (if not all) cases, the amount of close ups not as weak as a competitor’s product but sporting far less resolution as well. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital using a 224 Kbps bitrate and the normal 48 kHz sampling rate, the vocals fair (some hollowness but not readily apparent looping) but hardly the type I associate with the director given his bigger hits of recent years.

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Nicole Aniston

Body of Review: David Lord and his work at Adam & Eve over the past few years has been very well received by the critics I’m acquainted with, most of us agreeing his parodies have become some of the “must see” flicks in the industry. Of late, his shot at an interactive drama won some welcome acclaim (the hopefully soon-to-be-award-winning Killer Bodies) but as great as these big budget flicks are many know David for his multitude of niche titles like the recent Badass School Girls 5. Not having reviewed any of the previous volumes in the series, I can only take the word of fellow critics that they were not up to David’s usual set of standards but given the title itself, I expected the women to be youthful, display some attitude, and be set in various school settings. The quick version of what I found is that the latter two aspects were handled well enough but none of the ladies was exactly close to the age/look I thought was reasonable. This is no slight on their part and lends itself more to the selection by the producer but it did weaken the value of the title for me even though it had hotty Teagan Presley, Nicole Aniston, and Kortney Kane (among others) in scenes. Here’s a very brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Britney Amber with Pete

Scene One: Nicole Aniston, the fetching young babe featured on the front cover (with the beautiful eyes), was up first selling terrible tasting cookies to grumpy Derrick Pierce, the humor of the scene adding some fun to it. They got on the couch and her skimpy black skirt rode up her ass, her tiny white top covering up her boobs well enough until she began slobbing his knob. She concentrated on his head and abruptly started bouncing actively on his pecker vaginally, gyrating her hips as she impaled herself on his rod. The implants did not lend themselves to a school age gal and their modest love connection left me wanting but she showed some potential even as he beat out a round of spunk to her abdomen.

Victoria White with Seth

Scene Two: Britney Amber, a cute blonde with a nice smile, was up next in a plaid skirt and white crop top as she rescued Mr. Pete from a locker. His size impressed her so she dropped down to blow him, neither of them looking school age either as they began boning vaginally on the locker room bench. Pete did most of the work drilling her snatch and took awhile before giving her a few licks to the perfect pucker she sported, her vocals giving me a headache due to their repetition. It ended with Britney getting a facial of population pudding as she looked up to him, no connection established between them.

Ash Hollywood with Rocco

Scene Three: Victoria White, a tall and very lean blond wearing the standard outfit (same as Britney), was up next in a classroom with moper Seth Gamble, stripping for him when he caught her cheating. I prefer more meat on the bones than she had but she looked to be in her mid twenties too, at least her enthusiasm for blowing the guy indicative of a youthful zeal. There was some POV footage here but he appeared to have erection issues until she started bouncing vaginally on his cock, her cowgirl positions certainly showing her worth as an active rider. There was some taste testing and it ended too soon when Seth jerked out a round of genetic juice to her face, her semen goatee cute enough as she looked up at him with admiration.

Kortney Kane and Teagan Presley

Scene Four: Ash Hollywood, a pale blonde babe with a tattoo inconsistent for the age range expected, was up next with Rocco Reed, the two of them making out in the classroom after very little verbal banter. The thumping music seemed out of place but at least he went down on her like he wanted to do so, juicing her up for the following blowjob and vaginal plowing. I liked her glasses and overall physical appeal here, had more care been taken with her neck tattoo she might have arguably looked the part better though. In any case, the manner in which she savored his cock even more than he loved her pussy was a nice touch, the lack of active vaginal riding on the desk top on the negative side. She knelt for the facial of splooge and looked up as he tossed off into her open mouth, some post coital head giving it a nice ending.

Scene Five: Teagan Presley, my biggest reason for wanting to check out the movie as a whole, was up last with cute Kortney Kane, both of them raiding the dean’s office to have a lesbian tryst as part of an initiation process. While I’ve probably been in more such offices than most in porn combined, I didn’t worry about how cheap the set look thanks to the tiny little thongs adorning the nether regions of the ladies. Their skirts were just short enough to hint at some prime ass and even lacking the proper age credentials, Teagan’s aggressive lesbian actions helped give the scene some legs in terms of replay value. Granted, her own extensive set of tattoos precluded her from being seriously taken as part of the themed action but I freely admit that I give her a pass since her scenes are so relatively uncommon these days (I just wish she was still doing men). In any case, they playfully massaged each other and gave some head, fingering and rubbing snatches together before the credits rolled all too soon.

Bonus Scene: Kayden’s College Tails: Alanah and Chris : Alanah complains about being bored at school and her reputation of being a bitch. She goes to smoke by herself and is picked up Chris, who brings her to a quiet place in the school. As she strips for him, she gets on her knees to do oral on the guy, clearly pleasing him. She then mounts him for some cowgirl fucking, then is taken from behind by him. Her moans and pleads for him to be harder do not go unanswered, as he pounds into her. She then gets back on top reverse cowgirl before taking him in her mouth. They then go back to fucking, this time missionary, before he shoots his load on her face. Not as hot as the previous scene, but hot nonetheless. (review by Joey Dee)

Summary: Badass School Girls 5 by director David Lord for Adam & Eve had attractive women but a flawed premise since their looks/ages just did not jibe with the stated theme. The director has done some fine work of late and the ladies have all offered much better (this is my recollection off the top of my head), the technical aspects okay but nothing special in what amounted to a disposable little romp made for couples new to porn. As such, I figured to be generous and suggest it as a Rent It but your mileage will surely vary depending on your tastes and degree of expectations so don’t eliminate Badass School Girls 5 from your considerations altogether, just do not expect a whole lot lest you find it wanting.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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