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Ass Worship 13
Advice: XCritic Pick
Ass Worship 13: Special Edition
Jules Jordan Video
Director: Jules Jordan
Cast: Kristina Rose, Jada Stevens, Nacho Vidal, Franceska Jaimes, James Deen, Criss Strokes, Jynx Maze, Jules Jordan, Phoenix Marie, Mark Wood, Krissy Lynn, Jordan Ash, Kelly Divine
Length: 235:54 minutes (119:46 minutes & 116:08 minutes)
Kristina Rose and Jada Stevens
Date of Production: 8/29/2011
Extras: The boilerplate extras were kind of generic, the 15:06 minute Behind the Scenes feature offering more sex, the six trailers, the photogallery, the usual pop shot recap, helpful cast list, and director biography all welcome.
Audio/Video Quality: Ass Worship 13 was presented in an anamorphically enhanced 1.78:1 widescreen color the movie was shot in by director Jules Jordan for Jules Jordan Videoin the MPEG-2 codec used for standard definition releases (in 480 resolution). There was some variation in the lighting that added additional grain but I saw a few other issues as the camera kept an active stance at providing the best angles to showcase the ladies. The editing helped in this endeavor too with a movie as long as this one needing extra care to make sure that there is enough tease but also heated sexual antics, my initial impression being that this was a well rounded romp where virtually all the cast had a lot of fun. The bitrate was typically around the 5.3 Mbps mark, solid enough there were few compression artifacts, the aliasing minimal and given the length of the double disc offering, fans of ass inspired scenes should be very pleased. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English (at 192 Kbps with a 48 kHz sampling rate) offering that really didn't use any separation in terms of the vocals (there was some potential to do so here too). The dynamic range was also kind of generic, an area that seemed slightly better than previous efforts and an area that Jules could easily improve to make best use of the great many home theaters in the hands of porn fans everywhere.
Body of Review: Jules Jordan is literally world renowned for his gonzo porn productions, Jules Jordan Video one of the last bastions of reliably awesome gonzo no matter which director you care for. His legion of fans appreciate that he includes a lot of tease, skimpy attire, and high end casting of the best available talent, his most recent release being the wonderfully strokable Ass Worship 13: Special Edition. As expected, the six scenes on the two discs took plenty of time to showcase the ladies like Jules has long favored, babes like Jynx Maze, Phoenix Marie, Kelly Divine, Kristina Rose, and others providing the kind of quality stroke material for your spank banks that amounted to about four hours of wonderfully sexy footage. Knowing that this has been one of Jules’ flagship titles for years now, I went into the almost four hour set with full knowledge that the “all anal” title was going to be exactly what was advertised, the fleshy rumps displayed on the front cover beckoning me to check them out (and yes, I cleared my day to do this one after all other screeners were out of the way to enjoy it completely). Here’s a very brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:
Jynx Maze's Ass!
Scene One: Kristina Rose and Jada Stevens, the lovely duo spotted on the upper left hand corner of the front cover, were up first bathing in a large tub full of soap suds. They allowed their curvaceous asses to bounce up and down in the water, twisting them to stir the water as much as my loins, smiling for the camera as they masturbated on the edge. Nacho Vidal met them and gave each a kiss before they kissed each other, their sloppy blowjobs as they double teamed his pecker looking awesome (and seemingly caught from at least two angles; a growing rarity in this day & age of cost cutting). The ladies worked together and assisted during the vaginal sex, the taste testing continuing once the anal began. Both ladies rode very actively as able too, the lighting changing when they moved to the living room (the tint was more yellowish and saturated). While Nacho is not as perfect for them as Manuel might be, Kristina again gave an excellent scene here with Jada trying to keep up, the chemistry involved such that the scene truly stood out as one to go back to again and again and again. Nacho did not skimp on eating them out either, inhaling the essence of the women when they presented themselves to him, the ladies reciprocating nicely along the way too. It ended when the ladies knelt before him to receive his genetic juice orally, cumswapping it while Nacho gave some additional pounding to Jada in doggy for a second, albeit small, load of spunk.
Scene Two: Franceska Jaimes, the bountiful booty babe featured on the lower left hand corner of the front cover (and former wife of Nacho by the way), was up next out by the pool as she teased using her ass in a neon pink mesh outfit. She was toned and tanned, Jules pointing out just how perfect her ass was as she gyrated and spread her cheeks to reveal her perfect pucker. She had implants and a very flat stomach, maybe even too flat, but she delightfully oiled up to showcase her beauty before moving inside to meet James Deen and Criss Strokes. They were already hard in anticipation of the bounty they were about to receive, their hands all over her form just as hers teasingly touched them. James couldn’t resist stuffing his face up her ass either, Francesca soon alternating between them as she slobbed their knobs in preparation of the penetrative acts. She was an active rider and looked great during the standing pounding she took, the vaginal leading to a DP (double penetration) once they moved downstairs to a large ottoman. She demanded they slap her ass harder and they complied, the thrusting peckers drilling her endlessly on a variety of positions (with lots of taste testing) before she swallowed James’ wad of population pudding and then allowed Criss’ to ooze down her front. Their level of chemistry wasn’t as high as the first scene but there was definitely a connection between the trio.
Scene Three: Jynx Maze, the fantastic Latina featured on the lower right corner of the front cover, was up next as the last scene on the first disc, the gal a repeat player in the series and partnered up with Jules Jordan himself here. She teased in the hot tub attached to the pool, her neon pink cover outfit so small that I doubt it would qualify as an eye patch in most places. Her sweet ass enveloped the string riding up her ass crack and her tits fell out as though nothing had ever held them in, her playful demeanor adding strokability as much as her positive attitude did. As far as firm, heart shaped asses are concerned, Jynx is definitely blessed with one of the firmest working in porn right now, the gal elevating every scene she has been in without question. Quite the contrast to the scrawny 90 pound girls that so often populate porn, her strong legs and cleanly shaven snatch were better suited to the rigors of intense fucking, her nipple piercings played with a bit before she continued to delight with some light bouncing. Jynx used an anal plug to warm up her pucker, tasting it a few times in the shaded area before Jules replaced it with his turgid member. The asshole winking led to her orally pleasing the guy and him giving a lick before they began banging aggressively in pussy and ass. From there, they moved into the house where both gave more head and threw themselves into the action, the chemistry again undeniable and her love of cock was just profound. The amount of ATM was a bit much but she finished him off using that sweet mouth of hers in conjunction with some hand to gland combat, her eye contact perfect until he glazed her face thoroughly with a big round of splooge. Wow!
Scene Four: Phoenix Marie, the gonzo extreme queen so happily placed at the center of the front cover (bending over in a black outfit that had scores of well placed holes in it), was up next as the first scene on the second disc. Given that the first set of three scenes was so perfectly put together, I went into the second disc figuring it was all gravy from this point on but it continued to surprise me in terms of offering up more great boning. Phoenix was nicely made up and wearing the best dress ever, as in the one she needs to wear when she takes me out to dinner, and bouncing around, the gal wearing some fetish boots on her feet as she walked around during the tease. Her goal here was to take on Mark Wood, Jules Jordan, and Criss Strokes, in all three of her holes, the look in her eyes making it absolutely certain that she wanted everything they had and would do anything to get it. Once the formal tease was finished, all three men pawed her and tapped her with their peckers, stroking on her meaty ass and otherwise preparing her to give a wonderful performance. They oiled her up and teased her a bit too, fingering her ass and using some toys as she’d blow the others in rotation. The men then started taking full advantage of her willingness to please, her pussy and ass joining her mouth in actively milking the guys to the point where she even went airtight. The scene finished up when all three guys dropped wads of spunk into her ass, the triple anal creampie a lot braver for the last of them than it was for the first. There was a connection between Phoenix and the lads too but what made this scene standout was her driving love of sexual satisfaction, both giving and receiving it.
Scene Five: Krissy Lynn, the fetching young blonde seen on the middle of the right side of the cover, was up next and given how painted on her tight shorts and pink top looked, I knew she’d offer a complete package to partners Jordan Ash and James Deen. Her ass was already half hanging out of her shorts but giving the appearance of being fleshy but firm, the ever so slow tease such that she looked her best in the sunny pool area as she followed Jules’ directions. Her curves were exceptional and she removed her attire at a glacial pace (as directed), slowly walking up the stairs and offered herself up to the men, the men massaging her before she spread her legs to grant them access to fingering her pussy and ass. They moved inside and she became extra frisky, slobbing their knobs with a lot of skill as they impatiently competed for her attentions. They then began working her mouth and pussy, the ass following until she even did a DP. James got a bit rough with her, slapping her perfect ass and leaving marks, Krissy occasionally looking away from them towards Jules as if to try and get him involved in boning her as well. The connection between Krissy and the men was not as clear as in the previous scenes but it was there, the degree of performance the scene became still very solid on all physical levels just the same. She was an active rider who never let up on the enjoyment of the sex, the repeated taste testing and anal leading to the men rubbing out loads of semen into her mouth for swallowing (which she did with a smile as she said “This was the best day of my life!”).
Scene Six: Kelly Divine, the hotty redhead with the admittedly ample sample of an ass seen on the upper right hand corner of the cover, was another making her debut in the series (this was her first time in the series even though she kind of specializes in big booty shows much of the time). She wore a short white dress with small holes in it, the outline of her fleshy rump unmistakable as she walked up to the door to speak with the director. Jules loved her “big old titties” as much as her fine ass, her pink G-string only visible to me when she completely took off the dress and lounged by the swimming pool while oiling herself up. While not as muscularly tight looking as some of the other ladies in the show, her bulbous buttocks and strong legs were perfectly suited for the show, Kelly’s innate sense of tease such that it was as mesmerizing as any of the others during the prolonged tease portion of the scene. She eventually made her way to the shaded area to finger her ass but saved the real deal for when she went inside to confront Criss Strokes. He was already hard when she started rubbing her ass on his pecker, the man reclining with a lot more restraint than most men would show under similar circumstances. She sat on his face to smother him, titty fucked him a bit, and slobbed his knob aggressively before he used her ass cheeks to masturbate with. They then began vaginal fucking with him slapping her ass (and Kelly farting) and a lot of taste testing, Kelly moving into anal with practiced ease as she literally impaled herself on his rod. They tried numerous positions and she finished him off by blowing him while jerking him off, the splooge glazing her face and Kelly sucking him clean as she playfully laughed.
Summary: Ass Worship 13 by director Jules Jordan for Jules Jordan Video has again displayed why so many fans are devoted followers of the series, Jules selecting the best women, giving them plenty of time to be showcased in a manner befitting their wonderful assets, and then offers up a few “firsts” for the series (it's tough to believe that not all of these ladies have graced the series in the past). The replay value, strokability, and technical qualities all lived up to previous efforts, the title meriting a rating of Xcritic Pick, though your personal tastes might dictate your own rating. In short, Ass Worship 13: Special Edition has been one of the most awaited titles of the year for me (and many others), again serving as the best ass related title you are likely to find. Jynx Maze was amazing, Krissy Lynn the kind of ass you’d kill for, Kelly Divine’s bubble butt beckoning for a boning, and Kristina Rose & Jada Stevens double teaming none other than Nacho Vidal himself to merit a tremendous amount of replay value.
You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon