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America's Favorite Commercials Gone Porn


Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 10/18/11
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Audio
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XCritic's Advice: Recommended




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America’s Favorite Commercials Gone Porn

Hustler Video

Genre: Parody

The Ladies

Director: Otto Bauer

Cast: Chloe Reese Ryder, Mark Wood, Daisy Cruz, Jazy Berlin, Dale DaBone, Taylor Wayne, Jenner, Lizz Tayler, Billy Glide, Nicole Aniston, Otto Bauer
Non-sex roles: Anajanette Astoria, Kiara Mia, Lucy Blaze, Emow, Barrett Blade

Length: 112:36 minutes

Chloe Reese Ryder with Mark

Date of Production: 2011

Extras: The extras were light this time and included some spam, a FSC anti-piracy commercial, a photogallery, some trailers, and more spam.

Condoms: None

Jazy Berlin and Daisy Cruz with Dale

Audio/Video Quality: America’s Favorite Commercials Gone Porn was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Otto Bauer for Hustler Video. Otto’s well known sense of dark humor permeated each parody of a commercial but no writing credits or nod to who came up with the musical ditties (where appropriate) was listed in the credits so whether it was Otto, Roger Krypton, or the infamous Drew that was responsible for each, they scored more often than not here. The visuals were all shot well enough thanks to decent, flat lighting and the editing appeared to be smooth enough to work, the idea of spoofing five short commercials rather than a full fledged television show or movie certainly working better for Hustler sized budgets than most of their works in recent years. The video bitrate was all over the place too but did not appear to be a major factor here, the show looking decent for this kind of thing. The 2.0 Dolby Digital audio was offered in a 48 kHz sampling rate using 224 Kbps audio bitrate, the music related to the commercials themselves was a lot of fun with the vocals plainly heard. There was ample room for improvement should the company make this a series but it was surprisingly strong given the nature of the product.

Taylor Wayne with Jenner

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Body of Review: Otto Bauer has long had a reputation for performing in and directing some very hardcore titles over the years, his love of rough stuff in his movies well documented. Now that he directs for Hustler Video, his edge seems to be polished off a bit, the company well known for catering to a broader cross section of porn fandom and couples than the kind of production he used to make. Still, anyone that has ever met the guy knows he has a sharp mind and keen sense of humor, making his directing of America’s Favorite Commercials Gone Porna far wiser choice than any of the usual mopes associated with parodies over there. Rather than beat a single source to death, the movie spoofs five annoying commercials from the Subway ad to beer commercials to gum and insurance bits, even taking a stab at the routinely bothersome free credit report service that plays at all times of day and night. With a cast of babes including Lizz Tayler, Nicole Aniston, Chloe Reese Ryder, and others worthy of your seed and merriment, the production was definitely a step or two up from some of the extremely bland parodies populating the market. Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Lizz Tayler

Scene One: Aggressive Insurance: Chloe Reese Ryder, a curvy brunette portraying one of the most annoying of characters in modern commercials, was up first offering various discounts to Mark Wood, in her nod to the insurance business (Progressive Insurance). She wasn’t offering him much by way of policies until he began feeling her boobs, at which point in time the discount maven started ringing them up in droves so she was undressed and had a cock placed in her mouth. She slobbed his knob with a degree of skill, some hand to gland combat enhancing the moment for him as she gleefully worked his package into her mouth. Mark then boned her snatch like he owned it, Chloe becoming more active a rider as she warmed up to his modest member. He did some oral on her but she was much more into providing head, the fleshy babe earning her wad of spunk all over her face by his hand.

Nicole Aniston with Otto

Scene Two: Most Interesting Man: Daisy Cruz and Jazy Berlin were up next as they serviced Dale DaBone, the man playing the well versed legend for the beer commercial (Dos Equi beer). Okay, he looked goofy in the fake beard but the slutty blond and brunette appeared to be just right for their roles, kissing him and each other before stripping to grant him greater access to their fleshy chests. The ladies then double teamed his pecker orally and with some handjob action, his stream of dirty talk unneeded as they did what they do best in life, their lengthy experience with a cock in the mouth switching to him starting to vaginal drill blond Jazy before brunette Daisy slowly. Jazy was the more active of the two gals but neither seemed willing to assist the other very much, some taste testing leading to Daisy taking the facial along with Jazy’s boobs.

Scene Three: Whorebitz Gum: Taylor Wayne, the buxom blond fixture in porn for all these years, was up next as the fountain of positive energy hawking some crappy gum, the three judges including Jenner who thought it tasted like crap (Orbitz Gum). Every time they would taste a piece, she would interject a positive word on top of their more realistic choice, soon suggesting he stuff his dick in her mouth to shut her up. The other two judges started making out in the background but it was of little consequence, Jenner satisfying Taylor’s usual energetic oral leanings by doing as she asked of him before he went down on her shaven snatch. He pounded her pussy while she fingered her own ass, her over the top yelling diminishing the stroke value for me and replay value but it wasn’t a terrible scene overall. It finished up when he plastered her mouth with population pudding, quickly leading to the next commercial.

Scene Four: $3 Footschlong: Lizz Tayler, the attractive young lady gracing the front cover, was up next as she went crazy listening to the slightly modified sandwich shop commercial along with Billy Glide (Subway). She wanted her $3 “foot schlong” rather than the more common $5 foot long sandwich, the two stripping and Lizz engulfing his large pecker orally in a very passionate manner. This led to some titty fucking where she maintained lots of eye contact, even applying both hands to his rod to get him rock hard for a series of active vaginal penetrations. Lizz was an active rider and liked taste testing, finishing him off in no time at all using her hand and mouth in synchronization to drain his balls of spunk.

Scene Five: Freecreditwhore,com: Nicole Aniston, a lean babe with beautiful eyes, was up next as she worked over lip synching musician Otto Bauer, his current girlfriend not living up to expectations (Free Credit Report). She dropped to her knees to slob his knob gingerly, a far cry from the sloppy and passionate hummers his wife always gives, Otto licking her briefly before they vaginally screwed. She was too passive for my tastes, that angle of her implants totally distracting though her pussy looked perfectly trimmed and glistening with juices. She actually looked a lot like Jenny McCarthy went bent over the shitty dining room table, the gal showing more enthusiasm when she was on top of his lap. In any case, she tossed out his modest load of spew to her face, the ending credits showing how quickly this was tossed together (misspelling the title).

Summary: America’s Favorite Commercials Gone Porn by director Otto Bauer for Hustler Video did not dwell too heavily on the feature aspects of the five commercials being punked out here and the sex was always pretty solid, making this one earn a rating of Recommended or better depending on just how annoyed you might be watching the originals so many times. In that sense, the entertainment value of the clips was enough to make me want to see a few of them repeatedly, the physical trysts much in line with how I would have imagined them given the innuendos involved. In short then, America’s Favorite Commercials Gone Porn could be the basis for a successful series of amusing parodies if given the chance, this initial outing certainly benefiting from the participation of Otto Bauer and cast of attractive women, even the extras seemingly picked with the commercials in mind so check it out.


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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon





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