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Them's Some Sexy Titties


Studio: New Sensations » Review by Dean Isis » Review Date: 12/2/11



XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Genre: Straight

Director: Compilation

Cast: Adriana Luna, Danny Mountain, Sara Stone, Domenic Kane, Brooke Banner, Michael Stefano, Halie James, Brandy Talore, Mark Wood, Tasha Reign, Mike Adriano, Sophia Lomeli, Manuel Ferrara, Alexia Rae, Ramon Nomar, Domino, Kamil Klein, Angelica Raven, Cameron Carter, Tony De Sergio

Length: 4:50:00

Date of Production: Various

Extras: Trailers, Photo Gallery, and “Pick your pleasure”, which allows you to select a compilation section of sex acts, most notably positions and popshots. The PYP is well done, running through all the options on the disc (though it's unfortunate that the content is split between discs), but the trailers are indicative of the DVD’s biggest issue, a tremendous lockdown on user control.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: New Sensations is certainly reliable in the technical department. The shots are always clear, though occasionally an overly soft filter is used. There’s never any audio interference, and the music is inoffensive. It’s almost enough to make you think they’ve spent the money for a proper soundstage. The video is (as best I can tell) presented at a 16:9 aspect ratio.

Overview: Just in case the title doesn’t give it away, Them’s Some Sexy Titties is a big tits feature. TSST is a long compilation from ten films, adding one original at the start of the two disc set with Adriana Luna and Danny Mountain, though Tasha Reign is given the star spot on the cover.

Scene 1: Original-Adriana Luna, Danny Mountain

-- sponsored by --

Being the only original scene in the compilation (likely rescued from the cutting room floor), the first scene deserves some extra recognition. It deserves it, but it hasn’t earned it. Adriana Luna constantly moans, poorly feigning ecstasy at all times, apparently reaching orgasm just by Danny Mountain cumming on her tits, touching her nipples, and being in her general presence.

It’s so painfully awkward as to function as an anaphrodisiac. No wonder the only original scene didn’t get the cover spot.

Scene 2: Ashlynn & Friends #8-Sara Stone, Domenic Kane

Scene 3: Super Naturals #8-Brooke Banner, Michael Stefano

Scene 4: Perfect Natural Tits-Halie James, Danny Mountain

Scene 5: Ashlynn Brooke’s All-Star Slits-Brandy Talore, Mark Wood

Scene 6: Sweet Tits-Tasha Reign, Mike Adriano

Tasha takes the aforementioned cover spot, though she’s been airbrushed so much and the contrast levels dialed up so high as to be rendered unrecognizable. There’s certainly no reason for it, and if I were her I’d be insulted. She’s not perfect, but she’s certainly cute, particularly with the subtle pink highlights she has in her scene. Tasha’s nice to look at, and this is one of the better scenes, but that’s just damning the DVD with faint praise.

Scene 7: Manuel Ferrara is a MILF Whore-Sophia Lomeli, Manuel Ferrara

The first scene of disc two is likely the best on the compilation, though the ones after are distinctly lacking as the best content is definitely loaded up front. Normally that wouldn’t really matter, but thanks to the unskippable PSA it’s a real irritation.

 Behind that annoywall, however, is a decent scene. Sophia Lomeli isn’t the hottest girl on the disc, she isn’t the one with the best tits or the prettiest face or the best body. She’s certainly nice to look at, but she’s the only one I could see actually enjoying herself. In a DVD set full of porn pout, Sophia has a few moments of real fun shine through between the occasionally forced “Oh look, I came!” moments.

Scene 8: My Little Panties #2-Alexia Rae, Ramon Nomar

Scene 9: Big Natural Breasts #12-Domino, Kamil Klein

Scene 10: Big Beautiful Boobs-Angelica Raven, Mike Adriano

Scene 11: Super Naturals #10-Cameron Carter, Tony De Sergio

Final Thoughts: Them’s Some Sexy Titties is a case of quantity over quality. Sure it’s 5 hours long, but no more than an hour of it is worth watching. The porn itself is met with a resounding “meh!”; it’s less “best of” and more “Here’s what was lying around.” The women are all easy on the eyes, a few are truly stunning. Alexa Rae is smoking hot, and Tasha Reign really is very cute, but the sex is always unbelievable if not boring.

Even if the content was good, the DVDs are among the most obstinate I’ve ever encountered. A guilt-laden PSA, an extra-long copyright warning, and trailers which can only be played, paused, and stopped end up in tremendous frustration. Want to verify you saw someone in the trailer? Watch the whole thing again. Want to get a better look at someone? Try to pause at the right time. Put in the wrong disc? You’ll now spend five minutes just waiting to get to what you’re after as you’re told that torrent and tube sites are bad. It’s annoying the first time, but for those who purchase the discs or just dare to change from one to another, it’s time that adds up fast.

FreeSpeechCoalition, please take note. When you accuse paying customers of being terrible people and punish them for someone else’s crimes, they’re not going to want to be paying customers anymore. Thank them for supporting the work, and move on.

Everyone else, with 11 scenes and 5 hours there’s a reasonable chance of finding a scene or two to enjoy. For people who care about a big rack and nothing else, the DVD is perfectly serviceable, but the replay value is universally low thanks to the hassles implemented.



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