Cast: Sandy, Bambi, Cayenne, Kyra Black, Simony, Vica Ryder, Katya Nobili, Leanna Sweet, Cindy Hope, Sophie Moone, Eve Angel, Zafira, Bridgette, Clara G., Bruno SX, Zoliboy, Kid Jamaica, Zenzah Raggi, Ram, James Brossman, Frank Gun, Nick Lang, Bob Terminator, Sabee
Date of Production: 2008
Extras: Trailers for several other features. Chapter stops for specific acts at every scene, though the chapter stops are generally a few seconds after the specified act starts. It’s a common porn complaint of mine, but it’s better to put a chapter stop a few seconds early, I think, rather than a few seconds late. No chapter stops for the movie’s introductory or ending scenes.
Audio/Video Quality: Footage shot in 1440 x 1080i, scenes in cars were shot on a shakeycam. Audio and video are both clear, though there are some awkward angles and lighting issues are common since most scenes are shot in dark areas. The soundtrack provided by Dogz is notably terrible. The dialog is available in English, Spanish, Italian, French, and German.
Overview: Sandy is a flight attendant, catching a cab after she lands and being robbed. The cabbie dumps her by some hookers who she asks for help, and they are distinctly unhelpful. Sandy ends up wandering through a strange back alley that manages to combine a dreamlike scape of industrial towers, alleyways, back rooms, and group showers, along with burning barrels for light and girls sitting on pipes.
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Scene 1: James Brossman, Cayenne, Kyra Black. As soon as the bad acting is over and Sandy heads off, it seems her husband calls a pair of hookers over for some nice, safe, unprotected sex. There’s a revolving blue light in the room which serves as a visual distraction, but it seems to fade out. This is by far the most normal scene in the movie. I would dare say the only one, in fact. It’s not very good either, but the three do make an effort. The three just get too loud in an attempt to sell us on the scene. They’re like a friend telling you over and over how great the meal is. “No really, it’s great, really! No, it’s great, really! Why would I lie to you? I, uh, can’t wait for you to make another. Yeah.”
Scene 2: Vica Ryder, Cindy Hope, 3 dicks behind a wall. Vica is in a sort of gothish ensemble, tight leather, in a big open graffiti covered room with three holes in the wall. Guess what comes through them?
Vica travels between the glory holes, sucking away on each cock but leaving them mostly hard, with a notable exception of the second actor who can’t keep his erection. It seems more like a plate spinning act than anything resembling sex. Given that Vica is credited as “Magic hole girl”, maybe that was the idea. Once Vica’s finished her three off, Cindy walks in to jerk one more off as Sandy just walks on out onto an industrial lot.
Scene 3: Simony, Frank Gun, Nick Lang, Bob Terminator, Sabee. Simony is dancing on the railing of a smoke stack for some reason while a large crowd watches. Deciding she’s had enough of teasing, she climbs down, wanders over and starts masturbating on a box. Most of the crowd leaves at this point, but four guys stay around to fuck her while Sandy hides behind some palettes. Taken on its own, some credit is due for being a reasonable gangbang scene, but certainly nothing exciting.
Scene 4: Sophie Moone, Eve Angel, Zafira, Bridgette, Clara G., and Sandy star in a lesbian shower orgy. Five women in a shower, dubbed the “shower sirens”, see Sandy watching them and beckon her over. Sandy is stripped, licked, groped. The gang’s attention switches to Sophie Moone at one point as well, there’s a daisy chain, and things go back to Sandy, who cums and begins to freak out, scrambling to get away from her new best friends.
Scene 5: Leanna Sweet, Bruno SX. A crazy bum is wheeling down an alley in his chair when he stops to threaten Sandy, who reacts predictably be crying and clinging to the wall. The bum moves on, finding a “schoolgirl” who apparently decides she’d love a bit of that, and apparently has a vagina so good, so magical, that he can walk again. Really. It’s perhaps the strangest scene in the movie, which is certainly saying something. In the interest of managing one positive comment, Leanna does have beautiful breasts - perfectly proportioned to her body, not too big, not too small, rounded and perky. She also has a disturbingly high voice in the scene that makes her look twenty-seven and sound twelve.
Scene 6: Katya Nobili, Zenzah Raggi, Ram. Zenzah and Ram play pimps. Not believable European pimps, they’re playing what may be the most racist characters I’ve seen since Transformers 2 pulling up in a Cadillac and jive talkin’. These are Mudflap and Skidz, full on. Two European guys with leopard skin jackets playing pimps forcing themselves on a girl, trying to sound like Katt Williams. I guess I could mention that it’s a DP scene. I could also mention it’s so impossibly bad as to be utterly unarousing, despite the lovely appearance of the starlet playing, as she’s credited, the “Gangxsta’s bitch.”
Scene 7: Sandy, Bambi, Kid Jamaica. Finally this whole thing comes to an end as Sandy is fleeing the pimps and ends up stopped by the police, who ask what in the hell is going on, as viewers have been for an hour.
The man-woman police team starts questioning her, forcing her over the car. The male cop decides he doesn’t believe her story about being robbed and dumped by a taxi driver, while the woman sexually assaults her. Sandy protests at first, but then decides she really likes it, and they all start fucking for a while. Once the man gets off, he lifts Sandy up and tells her to get the fuck out.
Final Thoughts: Did Private hire Eli Roth and never tell us? That’s the easiest thing I can think of to put this movie in perspective. It’s strikingly reminiscent of Hostel in its visual style and tone, and certainly not erotic. A woman is dumped in a bad neighborhood, psychologically tormented and sexually assaulted as she tries to escape, with the movie ending on her being preyed upon by the police. The final scene is Sandy crying as she looks in the mirror on the wall of an abandoned building, laughing, and crying again.
If this is really a porno, it’s both unappealing and actively deplorable. If this is a German horror film, it uses cheap hooks and tropes to create a sense of unease in the viewer and pads the story with cheap sex.
In either case, it’s a failure and to be entirely avoided by anyone who didn't think "The Warriors is a movie that would have been much better with more anal sex."