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Mall Ratz

Studio: Pleasure Dynasty » Review by Jack Sesh » Review Date: 1/18/12

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Genre:   Gonzo, New Girls

Director:  Dirty Sanchez


  • Jamie Valentine
  • Missi Daniels
  • Grace Carter
  • Tristan Berrimore
  • Vivian Versace
  • Levi
  • Guido #1
  • Guido #2

Length:  3 hrs. 5 min.

Extras:  None

Audio/Video Quality:  Stereo/Widescreen

Overview:  Creeper Dirty Sanchez trawls the mall looking for young chicks to film fucking.

Condoms:  None

Scene One:

We start off with Dirty Sanchez filming Levi pissing in a urinal.  They make the requisite gay jokes and then go out to the department store to find Jamie Valentine shopping for bedding.  She looks young and hot with a huge rack in a tube top and short denim skirt.  She has a gut but her legs are long and sexy.  Her face is evocative of Alyssa Milano.  They approach her and give her a line of bullshit (what do you expect from the creator of Bang Bus).  When Jamie comes outside to meet the boys there is an ominous thunderclap, which is probably God’s way of saying GET ON WITH THE FUCKING ALREADY. 

Jamie Valentine's ass is big brown & round.

They agree to take her back with them so she can see how she’s going to be “represented” online.  They shoot the shit and shoot some pool and they finally get her nice big tits out.  Levi pulls up her skirt and her big ass is brown and round.  Levi eats ass and pussy and then fucks her on the pool table.  There seems to be some issues with camera focus.  Jamie drops to her knees and sucks cock well with lots of tongue and stroking.  She rides his cock hard in a chair and vocalizes loudly.  Her fat ass looks great in cowgirl; this spicy Latina was born to fuck.  They have an intense doggy fuck with more great ass footage and Levi gives her a huge cum blast to the face.

Scene Two:

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Dirty is walking through the mall and spots Missi Daniels.  She’s a cute innocent brunette with a big pouty mouth similar to Jennifer White.  She’s wearing a pink tank top and tight daisy dukes which highlight her great legs and ass. He picks her up by asking where he can find the T-Mobile.  Nice line.  She agrees to come over and drink some beers with him.  When she gets back to the house they talk about sex and she takes her perfect natural tits out.  She agrees to fuck him and when Dirty goes to bum a rubber off his roommate he returns to find Levi cock blocking him.  Levi yanks off Missi’s shorts and panties and eats her tiny pink asshole. 

Missi Daniels gets a one way trip to Pound Town.

When it’s time to suck cock he pulls out his floppy wang but Missi sucks it to full mast in no time.  She’s not the cock hound that Jamie is but her supposed inexperience only adds to her innocent appeal.   When she blows Levi on all fours we get a disturbing view of how bent his cock is.  She rides him in reverse cowgirl and her tits bounce nicely but she seems uncomfortable, possibly because she’s impaled on a cock shaped like a boomerang.  Things go smoother when she turns around to face him. She shows she can really ride a dick and Levi gives her a good reaming.  He slams her in doggy next and really takes her to pound town.  After a round of missionary he drains his balls onto her face.

Scene Three:

Dirty and his guido friend are in the mall when they spot hotty Tristan Berrimore at the food court.  She looks young and fresh and a little like that chick from Felicity.  Guido makes a move on her and she joins their table for some Sbarro slices.  They suggest going back to their place for a swim and she agrees.  She decides to change into her new bikini right in front of them so we get a good view of her body.  She has smallish natural 70s porn tits and a white girl ass.  Tristan and Guido get in the pool for some foreplay. 

Tristan Berrimore's best angle is doggy style.

They move poolside so she can suck his wiener.  She gives it the old community college try but she seems a little inexperienced.  She gets on her back for some mish and she looks hot getting fucked.  .  Unfortunately the camera goes in and out of focus and there is too much man ass.  It’s better when she rides him but still feels a little uninspired.    Things really pick up when he gives her a nice long doggy fuck.  Her moans of “fuck me harder” are unconvincing but damn does she look good on all fours.  Guido finishes her off with a spunk facial.

Scene Four:

Now Dirty is out at the movie theater with yet another guido friend.  While they are deciding what to see they are approached by cute nerdy Grace Carter and slim pretty Vivian Versace.  There is a longish boring dialog to get the girls to come home with Dirty and Guido instead of watching a movie but they eventually do.  Skip ahead and Guido #1 from the last scene is hanging out with Grace on the bed.  They’re talking and blah blah blah and what we need is less talk more fuck.  Grace finally gets her tits out and they’re a nice set of natural B’s.  She ditches her jeans and pulls her panties to the side to fingerblast herself. 

Amazing Grace takes a glazing on the face.

Guido takes this opportunity to stick his semi-hard dick in her mouth and she sucks it like a good girl.  There’s a few too many close ups of her pussy for my taste because I believe pussies should be felt and not seen.  Give me tits and ass any day but I don’t need to watch a gyno exam.  Grace gets on her knees for a gaggy throat fuck.  Her trepidation is palpable.  She straddles Guido and lets him hammer her from below.  She seems a little more comfortable in missionary but this girl is clearly a beginner.  She finally takes a hard pounding doggy fuck and we get a nice angle on her young body.  Guido blasts his babies onto her face.

Scene Five:

Dirty is looking around for Vivian Versace.  He asks some random dude by the pool where she is and he says she’s with Guido #2 from the beginning of scene four.  He finds Guido in a nearby room making out with Vivian.  Vivian looks a little scrawny for my taste but she’s pretty in the face.  When Guido pulls down her pants she actually has a surprisingly chubby ass. 

Viviane Versace should keep her day job.

She drops to her knees and sucks his cock long and slow.  She rides him in cowgirl but doesn’t show much enthusiasm and neither does he.    He bangs her in doggy, spoon, etc but there is just no chemistry whatsoever.  He squirts his goo on her face to put this scene out of its misery.

Final Thoughts:

 This disc started out like a big girthy boner and slowly degraded into a watery, dribbly cumshot.  Jamie Valentine is a thick sex pig who fucks like a wild animal.  Missi Daniels is a cute rookie but can really take a pounding.  Tristan Berrimore is another innocent newbie and while her scene isn’t as intense as Missi’s she still looks great taking dick from behind.  Grace Carter is an attractive nerdy girl but has much to learn in the art of fuck.  And Vivian Versace’s scene is a waste of time.  The picture is out of focus on several occasions and this disc may hold more value for someone into young inexperienced girls (I’m not) so I have to rate Mallratz as Rent It.

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