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Nights At The Museum

Studio: Bluebird Films » Review by Sean DPS » Review Date: 1/29/12

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Nights at the Museum
Bluebird Films/Gotha
Directed by Paul Chaplin
Running Time: 2:23:32


Anna Lovato
Paige Ashley
Jasmine Black
Aletta Ocean
Leila Bee
Tarra White
Black Angelika
Valery Summer
Lou Lou
Amanda Black
Mark Sloane
Tony James
Demetri XXX
Jamie Barry
Paul Chaplin

Special Features:

Scene Selection
Pop Shots
Trailers: 5:19 trailer reel

Technical Stats:

Audio: Dolby Digital 2 Channel at 48 kHz and 192 kbps

Video: Mpeg-2 at around 3-4 Mbps

Overall Thoughts:

I am back from AEE and I had a nice stack of movies waiting for me to review, and this current batch seems to include a lot of Bluebird Films movies. I am going to try and give a few movies that I wouldn’t normally watch, a shot. Cause you never know when a movie is going to come along and surprise you. But unfortunately this is not that movie.

I am really hoping that this was just a sub par movie from them, and that the rest of their movies I have to review, are going to be much, much better. Some sub par numbers when it comes to the technical stuff, and plenty of audio and video issues that pop up throughout the movie. But even if you are not a huge tech person, the sex was nothing to cheer about, except for the last two scenes. If it wasn’t for Black and Anna, this would have easily been one I would have suggested you stay away from. But I think with their scenes, it’s now worth at least a RENT IT rating. You can at least check out their scenes, and move on. No real special features are included in this movie, other than a short trailer reel.

Fingers crossed that the next few movies, are better than this one.

Scene One: Amanda, Aletta

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I am guessing a few people are not very good at playing statue. Anyways as we get a girl snooping around, and just as she is about to touch one of the statues (Aletta), a very worried man shows up and then we get to witness as the statues come to life. And it seems that they demand a sacrifice, so he lays her on the table and it seems that they are pleased with her. They pull down her top to unleash her big boobs, and then the Spartan heads to her pussy. And even our scared man, goes in and gets in on the action, as he licks and sucks on her tits. The Spartan thrusts a few fingers in her pussy, as our over cheesy dude, sticks his cock in her mouth, as her head leans over the side of the table. The Spartan has moved on to Aletta, as he dives in her pussy, while Amanda gets fucked. Camera is not doing a very good job of showcasing both groups at the moment, but luckily we get to see all of Aletta at least. Although it seems the Spartan can’t seem to keep it in her pussy, as he keep slipping out. Holy hairy legs, Batman! Anyhow, Aletta ends up on her knees working over the Spartan with her mouth, and Amanda goes for some cowgirl action. Aletta is always nice to see, great body and I am so-so on Amanda at the moment. The action keeps up as they change up their positions, but unfortunately nothing really stands out, pretty basic action. It’s one of those rare occasions when I am not really into a scene, even when a favorite girl is involved. Not really sure why Amanda is straddling the velvet rope, hopefully she won’t get any rope burns. Amanda is first to receive a money shot on the side of her face, followed by Aletta on her stomach, with a decent load. And after that they return to statue state.

Scene Two: Tarra, Jasmine

So it seems that Tarra is lose in the museum and our guy is there to stop her, but they come to life and our cheesy guy throws her on the table, as the mummy and pharaoh take no time playing with her pussy and letting her jerk him off, although once again, we are blocked from seeing most of the action. Cheesy guy has once again found himself in the action, as Jasmine is giving him a blowjob. It seems that the statues really like Tarra as they seems to focus on her the most, although there is usually always two guys on Tarra. Sorry got distracted by the giant boobs flopping around in the background. Tarra seems to really be working for me in this scene, but I am not sure the guys involved are anything the ladies will be that happy to see. Although if you are a fan of the big ole butts and tits, Jasmine is here to keep you up. Both girls get some double team love, but once again, nothing that really stands out, maybe we will get a DP or something to spice it up a little. Just realized that the box says this is in High Definition, 1080p, I beg to differ on that statement. Tarra gives us a little finger in her ass action, but we shall see if that turns into anything more. And speaking of bad, the audio quality is really nothing to brag about either, hard to hear some of the dialogue. Wait a sec, is our cheesy guy, is that the same guy who plays the joker in the Dark Knight and Katwoman XXX movies? The girls end up on the floor as they give their money shots to them.

Scene Three: Paige

Paige is using one of the Spartans as a model for her drawing, but after she touches him, he comes to life and she lifts up his uniform and seems to be impressed with what she sees, although I am thinking she is also a pretty good liar too. Paige seems to fill that black dress pretty well, and it barely keeps her tits from falling out. Seems that the Spartan is finally coming to life, as she coughs and gags on his cock. He bends her over and slides her panties to the side, as he licks and fingers her pussy. I can say this, none of these girls are lacking in the boob area that is for sure. And during some doggy action, we can see that the booty is not slacking either. Another blah scene ends, doggy position was a highlight at least (and boy is there a lot of it), as he gives her a money shot in the mouth and chest.

Scene Four: Black, Britney, Valery

We have moved on to the medieval section and our cheesy guy has brought his lovely date (Black) this time. And he lifts up her skirt to give us a brief glimpse of her ass. Someone has sneaked into the museum and got to close to one of the statues, and they come to life of course. His date jumps in and convinces them that they shouldn’t fight, and maybe they could have some sexy time. As they are all paired up, it’s not long before each of the girls has a cock in their mouths. And in this scene, I have to say my interest is in the two dark haired beauties, Black and Valery. So there is some potential for this scene, with two, the odds have to be better. Although it seems that they are not really showing too much of Valery for some reason, hopefully they will fix that, although Black is doing a pretty good job keeping my attention. And she keeps that attention as her and cheesy guy get some standing 69 action going. And as she makes her way between the guys, I can say that she is making it worth my time to watch this. Consider her name officially on my radar. She takes a money shot in the mouth, and soon followed by Britney who gets a nice load in the face. And Valery is last as she gets a pretty week shot on the face, and then the girls tag team cheesy guy’s cock.

Scene Five: Anna, Lou, Leila

And we know have moved on to the wild west wing. Anna is here to visit, while Lou and Leila are our statues who are waiting to come to life. He explains to Anna how it works at the museum, and I have to say that I am liking the blonde hair and the sexy accent. Anna says the magic word and the statues come to life. Anna ends up on the couch, and the girl attack her and pretty soon the boobs are out and ready. So apparently this movie is all about being patient, sit through some bad scenes and you will get rewarded with two better scenes. Cheesy guy finally joins in, as his pants are off, and he has a cock just waiting for the girls. Anna is first up, as the other two look on and help each other out of their costumes. Anna leans over the couch, with her long legs spread, as he slides his cock in her pussy. And so as the scene continues, I think it is also safe to say that Anna will also be one I will be on the lookout for in the future. She may not have as big as tits as the rest, but she really seems to give a lot of energy off in her scenes. It seems that our main dude has finally shaved his legs. The other two girls seem to be out of the picture, as the camera focuses on Anna and our male talent. And Anna shows off some more, as she is bent over, leaning up against the wall, for some doggy action, as he gives her ass a few slaps. I think she is going to try and kill him, he seems to be struggling as she seems to show no signs of slowing down. So why even have those two other girls, they really aren’t doing anything. But Anna is working up a sweat. She ends up on her back, giving him some more oral love, as she jerks him off until he cums in her mouth.


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