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Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody Review


Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 3/29/12


XCritic's Advice: XCritic Pick

click for trailer

Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody

Vivid Entertainment/Axel Braun Entertainment

Genre: Parody

The Sex (click for teaser trailer)

Director: Axel Braun

Cast: Allie Haze, Lexington Steele, Jennifer White, Tom Byron, Kimberly Kane, Aiden Ashley, Rihanna Rimes, Gia DiMarco, Derrick Pierce, Danny Wylde, Brandy Aniston, Eve Laurence, Dick Chibbles, Rocco Reed, Seth Gamble
Non-sex roles: Kylie Ireland, Rylie Richman, Jennifer Dark, Lizzy London, Lily Cade, Brynn Pryor, Marcus London, Shylar Cobi, Tommy Gunn, Kyle Stone, J. Champ, Andy Appleton, Belial, Benjamin Airey, Brian Street Team, Chi Chi LaRue, Joe Spewgemante, Kris Kelvin, Kris Slater, Nick Danger, Peter O’Tool, Ryan Driller, Ryan McLane, Tommy Pistol

Length: 151:52 minutes

click for interview with Axel Braun

Date of Production: 5/20/2011 (box cover); 5/16/2011 to 6/3/2011 (credits)

Extras: All the extras were included on the second disc, starting off with a 33:22 minute long Behind the Scenes feature. There was a nice balance between cast interviews, snippets of the creative team at work, and some extra sex. There was then a non-sex version of the movie lasting 56:03 minutes, at least a few parts of this version definitely reminding me more of the mainstream parody of the original called “Spaceballs” (a Mel Brooks) thanks to Chi Chi’s C3PO (other elements standing out like the Dr. Who Dalek, MST2K’s Tom Servo, and the robot from TV’s “Lost In Space”). Then came a photogallery, some trailers, some spam, and a Vivid “special offer” if you have a smart phone, but another really decent extra was the 29:01 minute Audition Reel, certain notables not getting dibs on specific roles they really wanted.

Condoms: None


Audio/Video Quality: Star Wars XXX was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Axel Braun for distribution by Vivid Entertainment. There was a huge creative team this time, many who would be recognized from previous high end efforts, and even a casual glance at the BTS or credits will answer a lot of questions as to whom the “go to” people in the industry happen to be right now. The visuals looked great with a lot of care given the green screen effects and the general art direction, the amount of computer generated graphics among the most extensive to date for a porno (though, like the rest of the movie, there was no real attempt to emulate George Lucas’ vision of dirt/grime, and sets/props that gave a “used” look to them. The audio was presented in a basic 2.0 Dolby Digital with a 48 kHz sampling rate and 192 Kbps aural bitrate, the vocals clearly heard regardless of the situation. The musical interludes sounded much like the score from the original trilogy too, another decent attempt at providing a better aural experience than is typically the case in adult flicks. Overall, it was a very talented blending of audio and visual elements to stand above Axel’s previous works, the “feel” of the movie much like that of the original movies, albeit, pornified.

Special Effects

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Body of Review: Axel Braun is currently the big dog in the parody market for porn, the economy doing quite a number to reduce the ranks and limit how much is spent on porn parodies of late. Carrying on with his distribution deal with Vivid Entertainment, he brought in a crack team of professionals including none other than Eli Cross for his most ambitious parody to date with Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parodyearlier this year. As a fan of the George Lucas series since it all began in 1977, earlier in fact as an avid reader of all things science fiction going back to the 1960’s and 70’s, this was perhaps the one project I was looking to check out since casting calls went out last year and the movie was announced. Over the months, I thought there would be a million ways to completely fuck it up and relatively few ways to get it right. Knowing some of the team personally, I knew that they signed on to make this a winner and frankly, I think they did a fine fucking job of it too.

Allie Haze (click for casting clip)

 

Jennifer White with Tom

“Star Wars” is a tale about many things, the original trilogy reaching cult status very quickly, but initially focusing on how a small group of rebels defeated a galactic empire, the political allegories, subplots of personal redemption, and threads of destiny itself all combining to make legions of fans obsess over minute details, this version of the tale sticking to the first released chapter of the epic saga (though re-titling it “A New Hole” and starting off right away setting the tone of the parody as just that, a parody, rather than stick too obsessively with mimicking the original and adding sex as so many of Axel’s peers do all the time. My original concern that the whole thing would have a solemn tone to it cast aside, I sat back to enjoy this XXX version that seemed to mine elements from a mainstream Star Wars parody, “Spaceballs”, but not go quite so far overboard in the process. Even the casting showed an attempt to get a good crew in, not just pick popular performers that can’t act worth a shit, a decided departure for the genre in a field where no one knows who will make it past the first day when something bigger, better, flashier, or a more immediate source of cash comes along to distract those in the industry.

The Cantina Band

 

Kimberly Kane and Aiden Ashley

That said, the pornified version does follow the basic story and expands on it in places with some sexual trysts, a few of which might conceptually bother those too uptight. The opening interracial scene would bother a few given the story’s parental lineage angle, as would the ending scene’s ménage a trios, heck, some might take exception with the other scenes in terms of inter-species sex but let’s be real and remember that these are performers and are all human, old enough to fuck on camera, and are not related. Whatever the budget really was, the amount of effort going into the production was nice to see in a declining era of porn, the resulting movie clearly pre-nominated for just about everything under the sun when all the usual award shows start up at the end of the season. I’ll keep the spoilers to a minimum but for reference purposes, you can also check out a review by none other than the publisher of Xcritic’s take on this one too, his focus different than mine even if our conclusion was the same at Chris Thorne’s Star Wars Review. Axel and crew had fun with this one and it showed throughout the movie, the sexual encounters all enjoyable and the meat of the parody elements far from tacked on, even some witty quips tossed towards Lucas that fans might truly appreciate.

Gia DeMarco and Rihanna Rimes with Danny and Derrick

 

More Special Effects

 

Hyperdrive

The back cover described the show like this: “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Award-winning director Axel Braun teamed up with adult powerhouse Vivid Entertainment to film the most expensive porn parody ever made. Will Leia succumb to the dark side of the force? Will Han shoot first? Will Chewy get lucky? Get all the answers, and much more in the most anticipated adult movie event of the year, STAR WARS XXX: A PORN PARODY. May the farce be with you!” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

 

Brandy Aniston and Eve Laurence with Dick


Light Saber Duels

Scene One: Allie Haze, as the fierce Princess Leia, was up first in her detainment cell facing Lexington Steele as Darth Vader. Okay, throw away the character ties between the two that the world learned about back in the “Empire Strikes Back” because the horny little hotty looked good rubbing one out as he walked in on her with his turgid pecker. Her nipples could be seen through the material (no tape on them as in the mainstream flick), her fingers caressing her nipples and pussy with increased tempo as his heavy breathing stayed on in the background. Once given the chance, she slobbed his knob aggressively and worked him over with her hand to gland combat style, milking him dry of genetic juice before he ever had a chance to tap that sweet ass of hers, the willingness to offer a wider range of sexual trysts instead of a preprogrammed list of acts certainly appreciated though. Darth’s voice was about as off as Chi Chi’s C3PO but his penis and costume were top notch.

Space Battles


The Rebel War Room

Scene Two: Jennifer White, a sexy little brunette with an all natural body, was up next as a marauding Tusken Raider, Tom Byron scaring off her associates but partaking in her shaven body just fine. He played the pivotal role of Obi-Wan Kenobi, his wizened years assisting him nicely as did his hermit attire and facial hair. He ate her box, plugged her pussy, and pounded her perfect pucker in heated fashion, the gal relying only on moans to convey her physical desires. The scene ended when she knelt before him and he beat off a round of population pudding to her face, the gal running off as Tom made an amusing remark that should have fans in stitches.

Explosions!

Scene Three: Kimberly Kane and Aiden Ashley were up next in the infamous cantina, a more likely scenario playing out between Luke and some lowlifes causing me to bust out laughing almost as much as a nod to the Kessle Run comment so many fanboys fuss about. The ladies were dressed in minimal black attire that showed their wares, their determination to do each other clearly putting on hold their likely role for sale as they gobbled gash and fingered aggressively, Kimberly taking the majority of the aggressor role this time. They wore funky wigs and Aiden’s shaven look contrasted heavily with Kimberly’s bushy pubes, both appearing to have some chemistry as they got off lesbian style. There was some kissing, rimming, and face sitting too, the scene cutting away to the following orgy nearby before seeming to complete the tryst.

Allie Haze with Seth and Rocco

Scene Four: Rihanna Rimes, Gia DiMarco, Derrick Pierce, and Danny Wylde, were up next in the cantina scene, pairing off to do all the usual acts regardless of who might be around them. Gia and Danny were human characters while Rihanna was a Twi-Lek (the double tentacle heads seen in the series at times), Derrick looking devilishly clear as a Devaronian. Danny took Rihanna while Derrick took Gia, the foursome doing oral and swapping partners with some very active vaginal pounding. Rihanna seemed to love getting hammered vaginally by Derrick and Gia took it from Danny with some taste testing before both ladies were adorned with facials of spunk, Derrick coating Rihanna’s upper torso like crazy; leading into a highlight moment between Han Solo and Greedo.

The Award Ceremony

Scene Five: Brandy Aniston and Eve Laurence were up next as female storm troopers searching the Millennium Falcon, Dick Chibbles playing a horny Chewbacca more than happy to comply with their need for seed. The ladies doffed their modified outfits (a nice touch by the way) and took turns slobbing his knob, Eve going crazy inhaling his pecker soundly. Brandy then upped the ante with an active vaginal and anal in doggy before impaling herself on his lap, Eve also showing some Wookie love as she bounced on his rod vaginally. The ending wad of splooge landed on the faces of both ladies as they knelt before him, the gals licking and kissing the extra semen off each other happily.

The Extras

Scene Six: Allie “Princess Leia” Haze, Rocco “Han Solo” Reed, and Seth “Luke Skywalker” Gamble, were up last as they gave fans what so many have read in fan fiction; a three way. The Death Star battle, from the rescue of Leia and the light saber battle between the archetypal characters (Ben versus Darth) to the dog fights and final battle, was surprisingly well done, the many little touches adding to the overall quality of the entertainment value. The guys had her in a small room, her flowing robes not stopping their hands from pawing her as she alternated between them with kisses. I liked that Allie looked a bit fleshier than usual, her sweet ass looking especially sexy when bent over taking Rocco’s cock and her lips were wrapped around Seth’s rod. They alternated positions and the music stopped, Rocco getting more gash then Seth but Seth getting more handjob action by comparison. In any case, she knelt before them at the end and slobbed their knobs one last time, both men dropping loads of semen to her face and chest before the award ceremony (some implied Wookie love left up to the imagination with a wink and shoulder shrug).

Summary: Star Wars XXX by director Axel Braun for Vivid Entertainment was yet another smash hit from the team, standing out as the frontrunner of the yearly parody market by a significant amount. Of particular note was Tom Byron’s acting and the varied roles of Eli Cross (under multiple aliases in varied categories) but as solid as the technical aspects were, the writing helped make this one of the most balanced parodies to date, the sexual trysts including enough stroke material to keep the fan boys and porn aficionados happy and then some. Rocco’s role as Han and Seth’s as Luke were entertaining, most others fitting their roles well above average too. I’m sure some might fuss about the liberties taken but as an actual parody, that is what it’s all about, not to mention the hot babes having some heated sexual encounters of course. So while I wish there had been a sock puppet theater version in the extras and Kylie Ireland leading a massive orgy celebration of the pilots once the Death Star was vanquished, the movie deserved every bit of a Xcritic Pick, with hopefully more to come. In that sense, I’d like to see a direct parody of some of the parodies of the mainstream movie (such as Spaceballs, Tripping The Rift, etc) but this was way better than expected so my hat is off to those involved. In short, Star Wars XXX A Porn Parody had all the requisite elements to make this work for fans and porn lovers alike, the increasing rarity of such an accomplishment in the porn parody genre not lost on this critic. Good Job!


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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon



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