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How To Make A Cheap Porno


Studio: Third Degree Films » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 5/30/12



XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand


How To Make A Cheap Porno

Third Degree Films

Genre: Instructional, Feature-Lite


Director: Mike Quasar

Cast: Lexi Belle, Anthony Rosano, Adrianna Luna, Michael Vegas, Liv Aguilera, Danny Wylde, Alyssa Branch, Mark Wood, Victoria Lawson, Tommy Pistol
Non-sex role: Mike Quasar (scene two)

Length: 113:35 minutes

Lexi Belle with Anthony

Date of Production: 2012

Extras: There were some trailers, a photogallery, a cumshot compilation from the scenes and a slip cover for the DVD case but that is it.

Condoms: None

Adrianna Luna with Michael

Audio/Video Quality: How To Make A Cheap Porno was offered up in anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Mike Quasar for Third Degree Films. The specific aspect ratio appeared to be 1.78:1 and the lighting was as clear as the editing was well done. Mike was in charge of writing, directing, editing, and presumably working the camera so like the title suggests, this was just as good as any of his other budget escapades. The audio was basic too, the vocals all clearly heard and the introductory music added in during post production, nothing major out of place as far as I could hear or see.

Liv Aguilera with Danny

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Body of Review: Mike Quasar has been directing porn for generations now, his ability to handle the technical aspects of a movie as renowned as his wit and drinking abilities. Most of his work comes from a small group of companies including Third Degree Films, their attention to the marketplace such that it came as no surprise they released a cutely named movie called How To Make A Cheap Pornorecently. The five scenes this time were tied together using Tommy Pistol as a shady director using a variety of tricks to save money, the title able to become a series should Mike make a few bucks this time. The ladies were all attractive and well worth your attention, gals like Lexi Belle, Adrianna Luna, Alyssa Branch, Victoria Lawson, and Liv Aguilera, each offering a decent little ride (the scenes were oral and vaginal only). Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Alyssa Branch with Mark

Scene One: Lexi Belle, the cover cutie wearing a purple top and blue jean shorts, was up first as she jumped the bones of Anthony Rosano on a seedy looking couch. They kissed and caressed each other, Anthony looking stranger than usual thanks to a weird haircut. He played with her tiny boobs and she made delightful little squeals of pleasure, his gash gobbling leading to her slobbing his knob like a seasoned champion. There was more oral along the way but the active vaginal fucking completed the deal, Lexi looking better than ever as she took his meat and drained him dry of ball batter in a load that went to her mouth.

Victoria Lawson with Tommy

Scene Two: Adrianna Luna, a sexy Latina babe showing a lot of potential, was up next with Michael Vegas on a green couch. The tryst was already underway (it was related to the threadbare plot) as they made out in front of Mike Quasar, a lot of necking leading to him removing her panties to access her wonderful ass with his tongue. The oral led to a few positions of moderately passive vaginal sex where Adrianna then sucked him off. Her oral skills were top notch and after that point, she threw herself into riding him much better (more actively). Like the other scenes though, the personal chemistry between the couple was minimal at best, a few more positions leading to him beating off a wad of genetic juice to her chest.

Scene Three: Liv Aguilera, another attractive Latina with a lean figure, was up next as she engaged moper Danny Wylde on a bed. He helped remove her clothing and her ass looked awesome both with and without her thong on, the man fingering her to prepare her for more fun with his pecker. She left her knee high boots on and sucked his modest member with relative ease, the cutie crawling over to him for some pounding pleasure in doggy before they tried several other positions. She looked great in doggy and rode great in the cowgirl variations, the mug full of population pudding gracing her on the minimal side as she knelt before him with an open mouth.

Scene Four: Alyssa Branch, a sweet gal with light hair and an all natural figure, was up next on a puke green couch with Mark Wood once she looked at the bogus check. She wore traditional pink lingerie and white stockings, the gal looking like she could use a few burgers but having those pretty eyes I’ve mentioned about her to balance things out. They went right to business and she dove after his cock, focusing mainly on the head as her hand worked the shaft but both of them deploying some hand to gland combat until she was ready to ride. Alyssa was an active vaginal rider and seemed to love impaling herself on his penis, the gal gaining a nod for her enthusiasm and energy compared to most of her peers this time. After several positions, he unleashed his spunk all over her face but she did not swallow either.

Scene Five: Victoria Lawson, a gal with long brown hair and a patriotic outfit (red & white striped shirt with blue skirt), was up next with Tommy Pistol on an older style couch in the living room. She had an all natural body and decent face, this “audition” showing she had ample ability to suffer fools lightly on the road to riches. I liked her ass best of all, Tommy paying it some tribute as she climbed into his lap. Much of his foreplay involved using his hands and fingers though he did provide her some oral loving too. Her oral was fair at best but she jumped on his cock for some vaginal penetration quickly, the abundance of vocals going way over the top in an annoying manner yet indicative of low budget porn too. She had a shaven snatch and her tits bounced around a lot, the two ending the boning portion on an almost grudge fuck manner before he rubbed out a nut of splooge all over her face and she gave some post coital head to close it up.

Summary: How To Make A Cheap Porno by director Mike Quasar for Third Degree Films was direct, well shot, and to the point. The stroke fodder was decent enough yet not really anything out of the ordinary sexually, the oral and vaginal trysts showing no special niches covered or fetishes explored, but the witty dialogue espoused by Tommy (written by Mike Quasar) was great. As a whole, if you are a fan of the cast you will want to add a few points to my rating of Rent It but it terms of the basics being covered well enough to suit most that don’t watch a lot of porn, you will probably appreciate it. In short, How To Make A Cheap Porno came across as just what the title suggested but it did so in such a manner that this might be one of those times when you will want to leave the remote control alone (Mike’s adage about “fast forward fodder” dismissed this time), all of the ladies looking just right for their roles and strokable as a result.


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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon



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