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Men In Black: A Hardcore Parody

Studio: Wicked Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 7/29/12

XCritic's Advice: XCritic Pick

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Men In Black: A Hardcore Parody

Wicked Pictures

Genre: Feature, Parody

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Director: Brad Armstrong

Cast: India Summer, Ethan Hunt, Mia Lelani, Nicole Aniston, Brad Armstrong, Alektra Blue, Xander Corvus, Kaylani Lei, Randy Spears, Misty Stone, Isis Taylor, Tommy Pistol, Jessica Drake, Eric Masterson, Jack Vegas, Marco Rivera, Tommy Gunn
Non sex roles: Brandy Aniston, James Bartholet, Dick Chibbles, Prince Yahshua, Darby, Romeo Price, Wolf Hudson, DJ High-Me, Pon Star, others uncredited

Length: 131:07 minutes

Headquarters (click for Jessica's makeup session)

Date of Production: 2012

Extras: The double disc case came inside a large book format holder (like the one from “Fallen” and other major company projects) with scenes from the show. The first disc had a trailer for the movie, “Busty Invaders From Mars”, and one for “Countdown” but most the extras were on the awesome second disc. The first extra on the second disc was a 14:37 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Lee Snijders. It had a lot of short clips of the cast & crew making the movie, Brad all decked out in a black suit introducing some of the effects and work needed to make the show look as good as it did. The special effects section was comprised of two parts; an 8:17 minute extra on the makeup  (click to see it) and a 3:23 minute section on the other special effects by Mark Nicholson with Brad discussing some of the more obvious effects. There was then a 4:07 minute long look at the ladies (a montage of photoshoot material called “Girls of the Galaxy”), a 15:35 minute long look at the sex scenes being shot, a 10:14 minute “Table Read” where the cast went over the script line by line together, 3 bonus scenes (the 13:08 minute long orgy from “Craving 2”, 12:55 minute of Kaylani Lei and Marco Rivera from “Asian Anal Assassins”, and a 10:11 minute scene from the forthcoming “Countdown” between Misty Stone and Michael Vegas). The second section had a 4:32 minute photogallery, 6 trailers, a 1:01 minute company Promo Reel, a 2:11 minute long Blooper Reel, a digital copy of the movie to download to your portable player, and the usual spam for phone sex. I did not check extensively for Easter Egg bonuses this time, those generally being reserved for Jonathan Morgan’s releases but I’ll check if asked.

Condoms: Yes


India Summer

Audio/Video Quality: Men In Black: A Hardcore Parody was presented in the usual anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Brad Armstrong for Wicked Pictures. The show was edited by Scott Allen, Chauncey Baker was the one in charge of makeup crew and special effects teams, Francois Clousot was the director of photography (Brad handling the art direction and overall directing duties, Barrett Blade picking up the second camera), and half the cast assisted in one form or fashion. As expected for one of the few big budget company release of the year, the technical aspects were well above average, the lighting, special effects, camerawork, and editing as good as you will find; mimicking many of the aspects of the original MIB series really well. The sex was on the short side but in keeping with making this a blend of sex and feature elements, care was taken to spice up the mainstream elements with sex but not extend the sex into gonzo length territory by any means. The audio was on the well developed side too, the aural elements capturing the same feel of portions of the original without copying it, the score, audio effects, and vocals all easily heard.

Nicole Aniston and Mia Lelani

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: Brad Armstrong has won so many awards over the years that I’ve lost count, his works for Wicked Pictures always interesting whether or not they are big or small. Seeing as how September is right around the corner, his block buster titles are coming out, the first of which is Men In Black: A Hardcore Parody. The original series stars Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, a couple of intergalactic lawmen trying to keep aliens in check on planet earth. As with the original trio, this version plays off many of the common elements folks find amusing, the pornification process adding the requisite sex though still heavy on the laughs too. Unlike some of the jerks out there, I’m not going to spoil the fun by providing a line by line description of every joke or verbal exchange, preferring to give a general overview along with a feel for the sexual trysts instead. The back cover described the movie like this: “Join aliens and government personnel for an intergalactic adventure sure to tickle more than your funny bone. Ride along as Agents track down evil aliens and make the world a safer and sexier place. So, put your black suit and shades on and get ready to help save the universe. An all-star cast, amazing special effects, scorchingly hot sex, and laugh-out-loud humor make Men In Black: A Hardcore Parody an instant classic. Sci-fi and blockbuster movie fans, don't miss out! Get your copy of the best new adult movie this side of the Milky Way!!!” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that condoms were used for those still interested:

Alektra Blue

Scene One: India Summer, a fetching brunette MILF of some note, was up first as the doctor girlfriend of Ethan “Agent Jay” Hunt, the junior lead in both porn and mainstream releases. They were in her medical haunts looking at stiffs when he had something stiff to offer her instead, his stiff cock, India kneeling down to slob his knob with plenty of hand to gland action tossed in. India also provided great eye contact, Ethan pounding away at her pussy with his condom clad pecker, the doggy position showcasing her sweet ass really well before they went missionary and cowgirl; some intermittent head given by both before she finished him off with a powerful handjob to unleash his population pudding into her mouth.

Kaylani Lei

Scene Two: Mia Lelani and Nicole Aniston, a couple of very curvy babes dressed up to look slightly like humanoid insects, were up next as they made out and sucked each other’s tits. This oral loving was being captured by Brad Armstrong, the man dressed up somewhat close to what a few of his detractors suggest he looks like in person (heavy makeup making him look like the deteriorating “Edgar” from the first MIB movie). Brad was great in the role of interstellar pornographer but the ladies were swell as fuck bunnies too, some fingering and dildo penetration combining with gash gobbling to make their preliminary exploits stand out. Once warmed up, the ladies shared his cock orally, slowly going down on him as various comments were made. The ladies kept at it until he bust loose a wad of genetic juice on their tits, some licking up of the seed ending too quickly.

More special effects (click for even more)

Scene Three: Alektra Blue, the attractive brunette contract cutie, was up next as a universal class dominatrix, preparing to “beat the shit out of” Xander Corvus as the two headed freak begged for mercy. Her booty shorts enhanced her shapely ass and her matching black corset framed her well, the man released from the stockade to put his other head away in order to better service her. He knelt before her to eat her shaven snatch, her brandishing of a whip serving as a major motivator too. He fingered her juice pussy and she traded places with him, some knob slobbing and titty fucking leading to him pounding her asshole with some active anal riding. This proved to be too much for him and he ended up rubbing out a nut of spunk all over her crotch, Alektra tasting his ball batter with a satisfied smile.

Misty Stone

Scene Four: Kaylani Lei, the company’s exotic contract star, was up next in a cornfield with Randy “Agent Kay” Spears, the special effects giving her an extra breast for him to play with. He nuzzled her boobs and she responded well, Kaylani inhaling his pecker briefly before some titty rubbing and aggressive vaginal fucking in cowgirl led to spooning. Randy then beat off a round of splooge to her chest but she teleported away and the scene cut away to headquarters where more hijinks ensued.

Isis Love with Tommy

Scene Five: Misty Stone, the wonderfully sexy black gal featured on the front cover, was up next in a heated masturbation scene. I won’t ruin the joke but suffice it to say that Misty was hilarious as the newly transformed agent, the gun storage room serving as the focal point of her solo scene. I’ll admit that I’m a fan of hers and she looked great coming out of the transformation chamber but the way she was diddling herself with the memory device was smoking hot. She gyrated her hips and rubbed herself silly on the gray couch, her dirty talk enhancing it for me though the pecker puppets quickly had me bust out laughing at the truncated solo outing.

More effects

Scene Six: Isis Taylor, a cutie built for speed over comfort, was up next in the pawn shop with Tommy Pistol. She wore a skin tight outfit that hugged every curve of hers, his demands for a trade involving the usual nasty stuff. She unfastened his fly and looked up at him while seductively inhaling his cock orally, her eye contact another fine example of how a performer should act in a scene. She rubbed and massaged his balls too, his slight titty sucking moving quickly to his porking of her pussy by the counter. Her awesome ass rippled as he plowed in deep, a few more positions leading to the expected facial of spew all over her face and upper torso.

The Orgy

Scene Seven: Jessica Drake, Misty Stone, Alektra Blue, Kaylani Lei, Eric Masterson, Jack Vegas, Marco Rivera, Tommy Gunn, and Randy Spears, were up last in an orgy. The ladies all wore sexy out space slut outfits and the men all wore the standard uniforms, the men going down on the women and the ladies blowing the men for the most part. This part was brief though as the whole crew wanted to fuck, each picking up a different position and the editing bouncing between them as the sweaty tryst continued. Misty looked great and Jessica is always a highlight for me, the active vaginal riding leading to a bunch of facials, an ass pop, and Misty taking a crotch pop.

Randy and Misty Stone

Brandy Aniston multiplied (yum)

Summary: Men In Black: A Hardcore Parody by director Brad Armstrong for Wicked Pictures had a lot going for it and as a comedy, it was actually funnier than the recent third volume of the mainstream series. The sexual trysts were short on average but lengthy enough to get one in the mood to mingle, making it a great couples fuck flick with mainstream aspirations (the effects and sets reminded me of late night cable, impressive considering the differences in budgets) so once again I have to give a nod to Brad for hitting a homerun. The second disc of extras was great, the casting of babes like Misty Stone, Jessica Drake, India Summer, and others really helped make the sex work for me and the acting leads of Randy Spears, Ethan Hunt, and Misty Stone really need some attention paid to them when award voting time arrives (it should be noted that James Bartholet did a fine job in his role as well; stealing nearly every scene he was in). As far as rating are concerned, I felt this one merited a rating of Xcritic Pick for everything it had going for it, the only other title generating as much buzz for the company being the upcoming “Countdown”, though some of the smaller releases have really stepped it up of late too. In short, Men In Black: A Hardcore Parody had outstanding technical aspects, a great cast, superb extras, and blended the sex with feature elements in a way only Wicked Pictures continually excels at so check this one out.

Disc 2 extras (part one)

Disc 2 extras (part two)

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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