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Jurassic Cock 5


Studio: Pulse Distribution » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 8/29/12



XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand


Jurassic Cock 5

Pulse/Porn Pros

Genre: Gonzo, Web-to-DVD, Young Females with Old Men

Director: Brother Love

Cast: Jessie Andrews, Ron Jeremy, Jynx Maze, Adam Wood, Loni Evans, Rod Fontana, Parker Page

Length: 137:29 minutes

Dates of Production: 11/27/2011, no idea, 11/7/2011, 12/12/2011 (in order, per release date on the website)


Extras: The only extras included a photogallery, some trailers, and a 3:13 minute long pop shot compilation from the show.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Jurassic Cock 5 was offered up in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen as shot by Brother Love for Porn Pros to be distributed by Pulse. It is my understanding that the scenes were originally shot for the web and are now coming to DVD, the box cover making it seem like they would look as low budget as many of their peers in the web-to-DVD industry. While not exactly Daniel’s best work, I found the technical values to be conducive to the overall theme, the hasty editing perhaps my biggest complaint, the grainy nature of certain portions coming in a close second. The audio was again offered up in 2.0 Dolby Digital English, the vocals easier to hear in some cases than others but a general lack of music and ambient sounds suggesting that the aural qualities were confined to the very basics.

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Body of Review: Pulse is an umbrella distributor for a number of companies, one of them that caught my eye of late being Porn Pros. Seeing as how they employ director Brother Love, I know they are ahead of the curve on camera work and other technical matters, his past work speaking for itself. The latest title of his I’m reviewing for Xcritic is called Jurassic Cock 5and I picked it primarily because it had Jynx Maze, and Jessie Andrews in scenes though Loni Evans and Parker Page merit some consideration too. The technical matters were decently handled and the trysts showed the attractive ladies getting tapped by some of the crustiest old geezers you will find in porn, a colleague reminding me that I’m closing in on being eligible for this type of thing myself. The company website describes the series like this: “Welcome to Jurassic Cock, where fresh young teens hook up with dirty old men. These little whores love to feel old wrinkled balls slapping against their chins when sucking on those huge, old dinosaur cocks!” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:


Scene One: Girl Next Door Loves Creep: Jessie Andrews, the hotty blond featured on the center of the cover, was up first with the infamous Ron Jeremy, the two sharing some food in the shitty apartment. She wore a blue tank top and killer blue jean shorts, her friendly demeanor seeing them and her bikini undies discarded as Ron gobbled her gash. I know he would do well to spend some time getting neatened up (extensive waxing, a haircut, shave, etc.) but it made him look even older so the series dynamic was maintained, his fingers juicing her up before some active vaginal riding led to a blowjob. She slobbed his knob well enough but there was no discernible chemistry, her active riding leading to a nut of genetic juice plastered all over her chest. The company website described the scene like this: “All American girl Jessie Andrews just got take out and on her way back home she ran into her old geezer neighbor. He seems hungry too, but not for food. He wants to eat some pink taco and stuff his man meat one last time before his ticker gives...” 11/27/2011


Scene Two: Jynx Maze, the sexy babe seen on the lower left hand corner of the cover, was up next with Adam Wood. She rode in a car and discussed her career with the director, the scene itself not found with my limited access to “Jurassic Cock” on the Porn Pros website. Adam looked a lot like a nice reviewer I know called “Bobo One” (or something like that), the man picked up at a local café after Jynx teased in the SUV driving down the roadway. Her tasty snatch was shaven and she had the usual rings on each finger, green nail polish with sparkles, and her usual amused demeanor. The public nudity aside, they continued the tease until they got to the small apartment, Jynx using an enema in preparation of her anal sex she was set to offer him. Her colorful blue top and garish skirt hid her white thong, the thin material stuffed up her ass to excite the audience even more. She had him rim her and go down on her, the scrawny guy boning her pussy before she slobbed his knob and fucked her in the ass. While his pecker was on the small side in terms of length and girth, Jynx had a lot of class in convincing him he was better than he was, the mark of a true professional. It ended when he jerked out a wad of population pudding to her mouth, Jynx not swallowing the ball batter but smiling as she provided some post coital head.


Scene Three: Loni’s Geezer Fest: Loni Evans, a lean brunette with great boobs, was up next as she contacted plumber Rod Fontana to assist her with a stopped up sink in the kitchen. They chatted and she hung around him wearing her stripped top and white shorts, revealing her work as a stripper which opened the door to sexual discourse, Loni showing her breasts before she blew him. He asked her to ring his bell (throating him while using her tongue on his balls), some direct ball licking and oral leading to him reciprocating as she spread her legs on the counter top. They then engaged in various vaginal positions, moving to the bathroom where she was most active when she was on top of him. The intermittent oral by her eventually led to a titty pop, the spunk glazing her boob as she talked about her appreciation. The company website described the scene like this: “Loni has some very strange fetishes. She wants to fuck this old geezer she has been eyeing for some time. An old stinky wrinkly cock gets Loni's super tight vagina wet. The old dude was able to give her a good last fuck with a smile.” 11/7/2011


Scene Four: Sweet Parker Does Geezer: Parker Page, a cute blond wearing skimpy street clothing, was up last with Ron Jeremy by a modest home pool. They were going to go skinny dipping, her bikini lingerie a lot sexier than his old man pajama pants. She dropped down to slob his spongy knob, Ron continually holding it to maintain his erection. They kissed from there and he vaginally fucked her, moving from pussy to mouth with an attempt to finger her ass ending when it tickled her. She was not an active rider here but she was cute, most of the penetration positions done in doggy style before the missionary drained his balls of splooge all over her crotch. The company website described the scene like this: “Check the man, the legend, the geezer bone sweet adorable Parker Page by the pool. He's going to get it up and stuff her tight pussy with his monster cock. Parker looks sooo cute and fresh while she fingers herself to get Ron hard...” 12/12/2011

Summary: Jurassic Cock 5 by Brother Love for Pulse was a better than I thought it would be based on the cover, the Jynx Maze and Jessie Andrews indeed earning it some street credibility. The technical values were okay and the casting of youthful ladies (regardless of their actual age) made this one worthy of a Rent It rating or better, the amounts of strokable fuck for the buck and replay value enough to add to your spank bank. In short, Jurassic Cock 5 was the first in the series for me to review but I suspect that I will appreciate future volumes (maybe even past volumes some day) given some of their listed cast members. In all then, if you are interested in youthful ladies having some fun with ancient dudes, you should find this one worth picking up, other titles from Porn Pros probably pretty good too.


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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon



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