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Porn Stars Love Facials


Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Spook Central » Review Date: 10/25/12



XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

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Porn Stars Love Facials is a Hustler two-hour compilation DVD centering on the theme of facial cumshots. Interestingly, all scenes on this disc come from parody films. The disc opens with 3:04 of anti-piracy PSA (the humorous Charlie Laine spot), legal screens, phone sex commercials, and Hustler commercials. These ads can be easily bypassed by pressing the Menu button on your remote. YAY! So we get to the main menu, and ironically it's in 4:3 Fullscreen, even though the main feature is 16:9 Widescreen. Oh well, as long as it gets the job done. The program identifies all stars and the originating movies for the scenes. The main program is not time-coded, but the individual scenes in the Select A Star section are. There are multiple chapter marks placed in each scene.

SPECIFICATIONS
• Date Of Compilation: 2010
• Runtime (h:m:s): 1:54:08
• Number Of Scenes: 5
• Aspect Ratio: 16:9 Widescreen


SCENE INDEX

 

SCENE #1
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Movie: This Ain't Star Trek XXX 2: The Butterfly Effect (2010)
Stars: Alexis Texas, Johnny Castle
Length: 24:35
Condoms: No
Images: Pic 2, Pic 3.
SCENE #2
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Movie: This Ain't Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX (2010)
Stars: Bobbi Starr, Otto Bauer
Length: 18:11
Condoms: No
Images: Pic 2, Pic 3, Pic 4, Pic 5, Pic 6, Pic 7,
Pic 8, Pic 9, Pic 10.
SCENE #3
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Movie: This Ain't Charmed XXX (2010)
Stars: Sadie West, Alex Knight
Length: 21:04
Condoms: No
Images: Pic 2, Pic 3, Pic 4.
SCENE #4
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Movie: This Ain't Cheaters XXX (2010)
Stars: Madison Ivy, Otto Bauer
Length: 20:24
Condoms: No
Images: Pic 2, Pic 3, Pic 4, Pic 5, Pic 6, Pic 7,
Pic 8, Pic 9.
SCENE #5
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Movie: This Ain't Happy Days XXX (2009)
Stars: Tori Black, Codi Carmichael, Tommy Gunn
Length: 28:06
Condoms: No
Images: Pic 2, Pic 3, Pic 4.
 

 

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Bobbi Starr Loves Balls

BONUS FEATURES


Select A Star
Not really a bonus feature, per se, but this feature allows you to view the five individual scenes by themselves, skipping directly to various sex acts in each scene.

Slide Show (4:05)
The slideshow consists of 49 still photos, which are all shown full screen (some are pillarboxed or letterboxed to fit the screen). A chapter mark is placed at the start of every photo, easily allowing you to skip to the next photo, or go back to the previous ones. There is no text or watermarks over the photos, so you can view them all unobstructed. Although, for the most part, the photos are grouped by scenes, there are a bunch of photos that are out of order.

Hustler Trailers (7:17)
Trailers for the following movies (presented in 16:9 Widescreen): This Ain't Charmed XXX (2010), This Ain't Cheaters XXX (2010), This Ain't Dancing With The Stars XXX (2010), Barely Legal Innocence #10 (2010), Barely Legal POV #7 (2010), and Barely Legal: It Barely Fits (2010).

Sex Talk (0:54)
Two phone sex commercials, presented in 16:9 Widescreen.

Hustler.com (0:55)
A commercial for the website, presented in 4:3 fullscreen (partially 4:3 Letterbox).

Hustler Hollywood (0:26)
A commercial for the store in Hollywood, presented in 4:3 fullscreen.


FINAL THOUGHTS


Overall, this is a fantastic compilation, but two scenes prevent it from being perfect to me, and that's primarily due to the parody nature of the originating films. Scene #1, which comes from a Star Trek parody, oddly enough, features Alexis Texas as Marilyn Monroe and Johnny Castle as John F. Kennedy screwing in the White House. Although I think Alexis Texas is ten shades of cute, I find her offputting as Marilyn Monroe. Mind you, I think the real Marilyn Monroe was quite a beauty, it's just that Alexis as Marilyn looks like one of those Las Vegas impersonators, and I have yet to see a Marilyn Monroe impersonator that I find sexy.

Scene #5 features Tori Black and Codi Carmichael as two 1950s sock-hoppers (no problem there) taking on Tommy Gunn as Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli from the Happy Days television series. The scene takes place in the bathroom at Arnold's Drive-In, with the rest of the Happy Days gang standing around in the background looking on. Having grown up watching Happy Days, it's a little unsettling picturing Henry Winkler (Fonzie on the real television series) having sex; it's downright disturbing to have Richie, Potsie, and Ralph Malph standing around in the background watching the whole sordid affair. It's like some sort of bad dream after watching way too much Nick At Nite.

The other three scenes don't play as parodies, for the most part, which is why they work better out of context than the other two scenes. The adorably beautiful Bobbi Starr makes Scene #2 worth watching (especially her excellent ball-sucking blowjob), even though you have to ignore the fact that the 35-year-old Otto Bauer has dyed gray hair (he's playing the 53-year-old Larry David in a Curb Your Enthusiasm parody). The gorgeous raven-haired Sadie West makes Scene #3 a highlight, though Alex Knight (whom I'm always gonna see as Ray Stantz from This Ain't Ghostbusters XXX) gives a very impressive money shot at the end. Pretty, blue-eyed, DVD covergirl Madison Ivy's sloppy gobbling of Otto Bauer's cock makes Scene #4 stand out from the rest. For some reason, every time I watch this scene, I keep expecting it to have anal in it, but it doesn't. It's one of those scenes where anal feels appropriate.

Were it not for two scenes, I would give this my highest recommendation (an Xcritic Pick). As it stands, I'm still going to highly recommend this DVD, even though it's only five scenes and about two hours long (I prefer 4-hour compilations with around 20 scenes).



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