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Big Butts On Bicycles

Studio: Pulse Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/24/12

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

ig Butts On Bicycles

Pulse Distribution/Lethal Hardcore/Celestial Productions

Genre: Gonzo, Large Ass

Director: Chucky Sleaze (DVD cover) or Stoney Curtis (movie credits)

Cast: Madison Rose, Jerry, Bambi Wolfe, Talon, Sara Jay, Christian XXX, Sammie Spades, Criss Strokes

Length: 98:08 minutes

Date of Production: 9/12/2012, 9/13/2012, 9/14/2012, 9/18/2012

Extras: The extras began with 7:59 minutes of deleted footage (BTS) and deleted material from the sex scene of Madison Rose. There were then trailers, a photogallery, some spam, and two bonus scenes; one from Big Oiled Up Asses 4 (on 2/22/2012) with Jessie Rogers lasting 25:50 minutes as she did Ralph Long and the other from Petite Chicks Stretched By Black Monster Dicks 2 shot on 9/6/2012 with Lea Lexis & Jon Jon that lasted 30:00 minutes.

Condoms: None

Lea Lexis with Jon in Bonus Scene

Jessie Rogers in the other bonus scene

Audio/Video Quality: Big Butts On Bicycles was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen as credited to director(s) Chucky Sleaze (DVD cover) or Stoney Curtis (movie credits) for Pulse Distribution. Whoever was the director, the visuals had a low budget, home camera feel to them. This is not necessarily a bad thing since you can rely more on enthusiastic performances with lots of energy than merely high end technical values alone, the folks at Lethal Hardcore no strangers to this approach over the years. The editing was a little rough at times but the overall technical aspects of the movie were okay, a light watermark seen on the lower right hand corner of the front cover. I liked the portions of the scenes that were shot outside on sunny days but this was not universal for the four scenes, the sex taking place inside on all of them. The aural components of the show were a mixed bag too, some wind noise heard outside and the indoor vocals echoing in the limited confines of the studio or home where the action took place.

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Body of Review: Stoney Curtis is a prolific director at Lethal Hardcore these days (a subsidiary of Celestial Productions I believe) distributed by Pulse. Rather than make a lot of artistic, pretentious porn as some of his peers do, he focuses on catering to market niches that the big boys overlook all too often. Such was the case with this week’s release of Big Butts On Bicycles, the movie providing four scenes where the genetically gifted ladies rode bicycles in one form or another before hooking up with a guy to have sex with. Of particular interest to me was cover gal Madison Rose though I have enjoyed a number of scenes with Sara Jay over the years. Balancing out the female cast was Sammie Spades and Bambi Wolfe, Sammie seen previously and Bambi having no credits on the IAFD at this writing. I like the way a lady’s ass sticks out when riding a bicycle so this seemed to be a good title to look at, the generic feel of the actual trysts admittedly on the modest side in terms of replay value. Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Madison Rose, the chunky babe seen featured on the front cover, was up first riding her bike outside. Like the other ladies in the movie, she was not built for those who prefer their ladies shaped like boys, my appreciation for her boobs and ass combining with a nod to her pretty face too. That said, she was stuck working with Jerry, a brief verbal exchange leading them back to a modest apartment (it looked like a cheap porn set more though). From there, they ended up kissing and feeling each other up, Madison slobbing his knob nicely enough before they vaginally fucked actively in a few positions. She tossed his salad all too briefly too, playfully licking his shaft as well before some more plowing led him to gobbling her gash. The ending wad of genetic juice was thrust onto her face, Madison kneeling to take his offering and giving some post coital head, the scene cutting out early as she looked at the camera.

Scene Two: Bambi Wolfe, a newcomer with long black hair and a few pounds that made her a candidate for the show (although she was far from a “fat ass” as the cover spoke of the ladies), rode around a public park in a shirt and pink shorts when she was hit on by Talon. He jogged along side of her and used the old “would you like to be a model?” line on her, Bambi receptive to the offer so she went back to his place. He took some pictures of her topless and admired her ass as much as I did from home, the guy oiling her up before fingering her in the living room. She dropped to her knees to blow him, squatting to showcase her sweet ass even better as she applied some hand to gland action during the hummer. He dug into her snatch and she was soon impaling herself on his rod, my biggest issue being how she kept looking at the camera instead of her partner. They banged until he beat his meat to unleash his population pudding on her face, the look on her face appearing distressed more than anything else.

Scene Three: Sara Jay, the best known lady of the cast for all sorts of reasons, was up next in a living room with Christian XXX as he fixed her bicycle to allow her to get used to it inside. The camera focused on her boobs and ass, the red tank top not covering her much and her pants so tight that I could make out every nook and cranny. She was unhappy with her ass and he pointed out it was just fine, his hands showing her how much he appreciated her tasty ass (in real life, I believe he paid her many compliments on his blog and twitter account too), the guy rimming her and gobbling her gash to motivate her. Sara blew him briefly with a wink to the camera, some boob play leading to a moderately active doggy on the brown couch. Sara gave him more head between positions, her cowgirl variations proving to be more active than anyone else in the show. Her shaven snatch drained his balls dry of spunk by the time they were finished, Sara kneeling down to take his ball batter with another quick edit truncating the action’s end.

Scene Four: Sammie Spades, a very cute blond wearing a tiny white tank top and tight pink booty shorts, was up last as she exercised in a parking lot. She was being watched by Criss Strokes, the man hailing her down to chat, which led to her going back to a modest living room. She was still bent over on her bike when he started pawing her, stuffing his face between her ass cheeks and spending some time working over her tits in a variety of oral pleasuring. Sammie seemed to enjoy his and she was also clean of pubic hair, the gal giving an enthusiastic blowjob and titty fuck before he tapped that sweet pussy of hers (kissing her as they continued). Sammie focused most of her attention on him too, the eye contact elevating the moment, her ass looking fabulous when she was crunched up on the couch. He played with her perfect pucker briefly and she sat on his face, Sammie slapping her own ass as they banged vaginally quite rapidly. This soon caused him to lose his load of semen, the splooge landing mainly on her chest and face.

Summary: Big Butts On Bicycles by director Stoney Curtis for release by Pulse Distribution might not be the best big butt movie I have seen of late but it had some strokability to it. The two unrelated bonus scenes lasted almost an hour together and this helped flesh out the modest running time of the movie itself, the technical qualities fair enough and the ladies offering some bounce for the ounce even if the replay value was not among the best the company had to offer. I rated it as a Rent It though true aficionados of fluffy gals riding bicycles might get some extra bang for the buck, feel free to adjust your rating as need to accommodate. In short then, Big Butts On Bicycles starred Madison Rose, Sara Jay, Sammie Spades, and Bambi Wolfe, all of them fleshy enough to qualify for the titular action even if the chemistry they had with the males provided was on the weak side. I would have been more generous had the advertised action of public fucking took place (it did not) and the advertised running time did not include the bonus scenes but it was not terrible.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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