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Clerks XXX: A Porn Parody


Studio: Vivid » Review by Sean DPS » Review Date: 2/14/13



XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

Clerks XXX A Porn Parody
Vivid Entertainment
Directed by B Skow
Written by David Stanley
Date of Production:
Running Time: 2:24:43

Starring:

Allie Haze-Dante
Lexi Swallow-Randall
Chastity Lynn- Jay
Jayden Lee
Mark Davis
Brian Street Team
Seth Gamble
Barry Scott
Evan Stone
Kelly Divine-Silent Bob

Special Features:

Shot in High Definition
Chapter Search
Cum Shot Recap
Behind the Scenes: 6:35
Bloopers/Outtakes: 24:06
Photo Gallery
Previews: 4
Non-Sex Version of the film in Black and White (35:56 cut of movie)

Technical Stats:

Audio: Dolby Digital 2 Channel at 48 kHz and 256 kbps

Video: Mpeg-2 at around 2-5 Mbps

Overall Thoughts:

Dana is unhappy with her station in life..and her job as a smut-jockey in a porno store. She’s juggling with an ex who cheats and a new boyfriend who’s sexuality is bit more than she can handle. Now she’s working on her one day off, dealing with smart ass co-worker Randi, a riot of anti-condom crusaders, some customers who can’t resist coming all over the peep booths, a gerbil loving customer, and a guy who eats his own cum…and lets you know it. Will she make it through the day, or finally make a change.

Before we get to the review, let me state a few things. First, I am a huge Kevin Smith fan, and at first seeing this movie coming out, was a little worried at first, but after thinking about the movie, figured they had lots of fun things to work with. So I am intrigued by this one. Second, this is another movie that one of my fellow reviewers, Don already checked out, and he gave it a highly recommended rating. But we shall see how it stacks up for me.

And I can say that pretty much 5 minutes in, I could see I was going to enjoy this one. Plenty of nods to the original and that is what you like to see in a parody, of course some great sex too. And for you fellow Allie fans, you get to see her in three scenes. And you can’t go wrong with the great three some with Evan, Chastity and Kelly. It’s early in the year, but I have to say that this is going to be in the running for a few awards this season, granted I think this is the only parody I have reviewed this year, but they stick to the original and the changes they made, don’t ruin the movie. Throw in about an hour of special features, although that does include the non-sex version, in black and white no doubt, but still a decent amount of special features if you throw that out. And so I can say that I agree with Don, and also give this one a HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Allie/Seth

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They talk about wondering if anyone can see them, and I guess not, so it’s sexy time on the floor behind the counter. Some heavy kissing, as he slides off his pants and she begins to bob on his cock, keeping it nice and wet, while jerking him off. She does some nice deep throating, as he reaches over and tries to tease her pussy a little. She slides off her panties and takes a seat on his cock for some cowgirl, as they really try and sell the whole trying not to be seen. Being heard on the other hand is not a concern apparently, as we get plenty of ball slapping and moaning from Allie. And lucky for us, that means the camera is going to focus on her booty, that wonderful booty, as she hops on him. She hops off and jerks him off a bit before bending over for some doggy action. He pulls out and she ends up on her back, legs spread as he is back inside her pussy, while also giving it some extra attention with his fingers. Just a shot in the dark, this was filmed after the halt in production I am guessing. They continue with some spoon as he gives her some moments of energy until he can’t hold it in anymore and cums on her pussy. But he is not done, as he slides back inside her pussy for some more before they call it.

Chastity/Mark

If the van is a rocking don’t come a knocking, and Chastity is really going to town on his cock. She gags and swallows him whole, while he struggles to hold back his cum. He jerks himself off until he cums in mouth, as she keeps up the oral workout.  She doesn’t want to stop.

Jayden/Barry

They want to spend some together time in the booth as they watch porn. He goes right for her tits, and slides his hand down her pants, as she is doing the same to him. She is down to her panties as he teases and plays with her pussy, before sliding them aside so his tongue can work it’s magic. He spreads her pussy wide, as he even gives her ass some tongue love. But the clothes are off and she is crouched on the couch, swallowing and gagging, as she deep throats him. Once again, it seems that all ladies involved so far, are pretty good when it comes to oral skills. And after they get lubed up, she is on top for some cowgirl, as he keeps up the pace, going deep and hard. And of course the finger play in the ass continues too. She lays on her side as he continues to penetrate her and also get a little rough, with some grabbing and slapping. Seems like he is doing his best to keep her pussy wet, lots of spit. As she climbs on, it seems that it’s time for some anal. She is not nearly as intense as him, but he is doing his best. His scene with Liza in Peep Show was way better. They ass play continues in some spoon on the couch, and throw in some hair pulling. She falls to her knees and is back to swallowing him, sucking and licking the taste off his cock, with no lack of spit on her part. She bends over, as she leans up against the couch and waits for him to slide back into her pussy. He pulls out and leans some cum on the TV screen and tells her to lick it off.

Chastity/Kelly/Evan (SPOTLIGHT SCENE)

It’s time to make sure she isn’t holding, as he has his tongue down her throat and Kelly is face deep in her ass, giving it a nice tongue lashing. He has his cock out and Chastity is stroking him off while her ass is getting fingered. He throws Chastity down on the bed and then bends Kelly over and dives into her big ass, before sliding his cock deep in her cheeks and into her ass. The girls are very playful as they share his cock, and once again Chastity is really into it, as Kelly gives his balls some love. These two are giving his cock and balls plenty of attention,  leaving no inch untouched. He face fucks Chastity, while Kelly is deep in her ass, before she helps her bob on his cock. Chastity climbs forward and climbs on his cock, as he penetrates her ass, as she hops and smiles while she rides him. His cock may be deep in her ass, but that doesn’t stop Kelly from sucking on his balls. But don’t worry Kelly and her big ass get their turn, as she hops on his cock, while he gets devoured by her tits in his face, followed by Chastity sitting on his face. They are back to double teaming his cock before Chastity is back on for some more anal play, reverse cowgirl style, while Kelly is licking her pussy, some very nice team work. Butt it’s back to Kelly as the ass play continues and he goes back and forth between the girls, with lots of anal. He leaves them both with a nice cum shot and they keep the sharing going.

Allie/Brian

As the hot kissing gets going, he has his hands down her shorts, and soon enough we are getting a nice look at her bush. And she is quick to fall to her knees and offer some oral love, before she ends up leaning against the shelf, as he dives into her pussy for some oral love followed by his cock. Can I just point out the fact that I love she has kept the socks on, very sexy in my book. After a long doggy session, she sucks the taste off his cock and then back to some standing doggy. They end up on the floor for some spoon action, followed by some more oral from Allie, and then she climbs on and we are once again given a great view of her ass, as she hops and grinds on him. But that is short lived, as they are back to some missionary and then pulls out and sprays her pussy with cum, and then she tells him to slide it back inside her for a few more minutes.

Allie/Lexi

And it’s time to unleash all of that sexual tension between these two. Lexi wastes no time licking and fondling Allie, before the intense kissing follows, as they make their way to the couch. Allie pops out one of her boobs, licking and sucking her nipple, while teasing her pussy a little. And as the heated kisses continue, they both finger and tease each other’s pussy, and then Allie busts out a toy and uses it to get her nice and wet, before she goes in and uses her tongue and fingers on her very pink pussy. More tongue wrestling and then Lexi slides off Allie’s panties and begins to return the favor as she spreads her legs wide for her. And as the camera moves in, I think I can see her liver. And as the tops come off, Allie can’t help but spend some time in her tits, before sliding off her panties and enjoying her ass, before busting out the toy again, as she plays with her pussy. It seems that Allie gets two toys as they both please her pussy and Lexi licks her ass. And as the toys keep buzzing, the girls are in a 69, licking and sucking each other. And then they toy up once again, this time playing with themselves as they watch each other climax.



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The Inner Machinations of My Mind Are an Enigma
 


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