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MILFs Illustrated

Studio: Jules Jordan Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 10/24/13

XCritic's Advice: Recommended


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MILFs Illustrated

Jules Jordan Video/Lisa Ann Productions

Genre: Interracial, MILF

-- sponsored by --

Director/Producer: Lisa Ann

Cast: Devon, Johnny Sins, Lisa Ann, Manuel Ferrara, Houston, Erik Everhard, Mellanie Monroe, Toni Ribas, Veronica Avluv

Length: 148:29 minutes

Date of Production: 9/30/2013


Extras: The best extra was the extensive, 54:08 minute long Behind the Scenes feature. It was primarily a series of cast interviews but each of the ladies provided some detailed information about themselves. There was a pop shot recap from the scenes, a lengthy photogallery, five trailers to company flicks, and some websites as well though a cast list would have been nice too.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: MILFs Illustrated was shot in anamorphic widescreen as credited to director Lisa Ann for Jules Jordan Video. The camera work was handled very nicely by Chris Streams and the editing nicely done by R. Patrick, capable Tony Flush assisting as needed throughout the production of the movie. Lisa gave broad directions on how she wanted things handled so she wasn’t a director in name only as so many ladies in porn have been over the years, the gal wisely allowing Chris and crew to handle the solid lighting and other technical aspects as they saw fit to make the ladies look their very best. For the record, there was no continuous company watermark shown on the lower right corner of the screen (or anywhere else for that matter), something the fans occasionally take exception to seeing. The aural aspects of the movie were handled in stereo English using the standard bitrates, all the vocals easily heard and the music only around for the tease or credit portions of the flick.


Body of Review: Lisa Ann has been a popular performer for years now, her occasional turn at directing for companies like Jules Jordan Video showing she knows what her fans want to see. As such, her latest movie for the company is called MILFs Illustrated, a veritable who’s who of experienced, thicker women that one would easily consider the stereotypical MILF. Of special note was the inclusion of Devon on her most recent comeback tour and Houston (no relation), also back for some action, as well as Lisa herself, sexy Veronica Avluv, and delicious Texan Mellanie Monroe. If you like curvy women as much as I do, there was something here for everyone, my personal favorites being Lisa Ann (of course) and Mellanie Monroe as she climbs up the ladder of the porn pantheon increasingly higher. Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:


Scene One: Devon, the blond bombshell featured on the lower left hand corner of the front cover, was up first with Johnny Sins. Given this attractive young lady was a contract employee for several major companies, her appeal was widespread and that makes her latest comeback all the more special given she has embraced her inner self to enjoy sex a lot more than she used to. Her lean figure was dressed in a metallic purple bikini as she teased around the pool, Devon showing her stripper moves as she caressed her oiled up form, the gal sporting a small pubic patch. Once the tease was finished, she walked over to the shaded area where Johnny was waiting for her, the couple kissing before she knelt in front of him to slob his knob. He was looking buffer than ever and I think it excited her, the lady taking a few inches of his turgid pecker into her mouth while holding the shaft and applying some hand to gland friction. He then gobbled her gash and ass though she looked at the camera when giving some generic comments with a deadpan face, Johnny boning her vaginally for a bit before she actively participated. This continued until he whipped it out to launch his genetic juice all over her neck and face, Devon swallowing a little of it as the baby batter ran down her face.


Scene Two: Lisa Ann, the gorgeous brunette standing on the right side of the front cover, was up next in a tiny metallic red bikini out by the pool. She spent a decent amount of time showing off her curvy figure to full effect with the upbeat music playing, her juicy ass as yummy as ever and a lot of pubic hair above her dripping pussy. She continued the tease in the house by crawling onto a large platform bed of sorts, playing with herself until Manuel Ferrara came over to share the scene with her. He devoured her pussy and ass, the man adoring her tits too as he began to power pound her pussy. Once he was juiced up, Lisa slobbed his knob and gave him a titty fuck, actively riding him vaginally while keeping solid eye contact with him. Unlike the previous scene, they showed a deeper connection, trying different penetrative positions to get each other off before he gave her the facial of population pudding she desired, Manuel missing her open mouth too often but getting enough inside to give her a taste of semen all the same.


Scene Three: Houston, the tight hard body MILF seen on the upper right hand corner of the front cover, was up next and I admit that I have never found her overly appealing since she had so many plastic surgeries. Still, she was in better shape than she ever was in the 90’s and reportedly a good lay so I pressed onward, her pool side tease in a bright blue bikini resulting in her working with Erik Everhard in the shaded area outside on a lounging chair. He dove right into her snatch to pleasure her bald beaver, Houston verbally appreciating his oral before giving him a throating experience I admit few of her peers seems able to do as well these days, Erik diddling her as she inhaled his cock soundly. From there they vaginally fucked in various positions, almost like a grudge fuck rather than a romantic or chemistry filled tryst, additional oral by Erik punctuating some of the positions as he boned her like he owned her. While her face was too angular for me, she did go back down on him well enough and took the facial finish of spunk like a seasoned professional, looking up at him as he juices glazed her mug.


Scene Four: Mellanie Monroe, the sexy hot blond babe in the upper left background of the front cover, was up next in a golden metallic bikini both in and around the pool as she shook that delicious looking money maker to best effect. She also gave her big wet tits some love too and then knelt to showcase her perfectly heart shaped ass. Toni Ribas than joined her to rim and kiss her, Mellanie playful about enjoying his growing package, stroking and sucking him with plenty of eye contact before they moved to the shaded bungalow area. She laid on her stomach while he took her vaginally from behind, driving her crazy as he went balls deep inside and she licked her lips. She then impaled herself aggressively on his turgid pecker, a stream of dirty talk enhancing the moment as she appeared to get off yet again, her tits shaking as her bald beaver was plowed so powerfully. Their chemistry or lust connection was the strongest since the second scene, the penetrative positions leading to more oral and fun factor fucking, Toni teasing her perfect pucker but denying her until he blew his load all over her welcoming face, the splooge running down her face as she smiled at the camera coyly.


Scene Five: Veronica Avluv, the lean brunette featured on the entire left side of the front cover, was up last and looking like a million bucks in her metallic silver bikini and stripper shoes, the gal scoring Manuel Ferrara as a partner once her poolside tease was over. The resolution of the camera was good enough to allow me to see her light tan line but also the very fine hairs of her body before she left the sunlight for the shaded area to masturbate. She had a small pubic patch and the tease was sadly cut short when unshaven Manuel came over to her, the couple kissing as they warmed each other up using their hands. Veronica dropped down to blow him and took half his length in her mouth, jerking him off and rubbing his balls before they moved into the house where he ate her pussy and ass while she overacted. He went straight into her ass as she passively laid there, the couple moving around the room and going at it in a standing position while she cried out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. She let loose her juices and then jerked him off, his ball batter spurting forth all over her face and his lap as she cleaned him up.

Summary: MILFs Illustrated by director Lisa Ann for Jules Jordan Video was a solid showcase title for experienced, thicker ladies enjoying sex, each one of them commanding a legion of fans. I’ll be up front that I did not find Houston all that appealing in her current state, her frequent flyer miles at the plastic surgeon taking more of a toll on her than time itself, and Veronica Avluv gave a decent but underwhelming performance compared to some of her other recent work, but Lisa and Mellanie came through as expected, Devon offering up a pretty decent tryst herself so the movie earned a rating of Recommended from me, others may want to adjust that according to their own rating scale. In short, MILFs Illustrated provided five big “names” worth checking out here, Lisa Ann certainly pulling a rabbit out of her proverbial hat to give a lot of fans a look at a variety of MILFish ladies, two of them hardly in porn for years (Devon, Houston) while the other three are still growing in popularity (Lisa, Mellanie, Veronica) so check this one out if you like women built for comfort over speed.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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