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Barely Legal 137


Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Pete Pornopolis » Review Date: 12/9/13


XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Awwwh shucks - I seem to have run out of lube... that's OK, though, as Barely Legal #137 fails to generate much excitement at all.  Based on how poorly this DVD came off, this is officially the last Barely Legal release that I can handle without drugs being introduced...

Three of these girls have futures in this industry?  Can you spot them?

Scene 1: Emily Austin

A good choice for the covergirl, Emily is a sweet newcummer. After some banter with Billy Glide, she drops to her knees and tackles his monsterously-thick cock.  While she doesn't take much more than the head in her mouth at once, she gets props for opening her mouth that wide.  She jerks it with two hands, upping her intensity slowly...

She quivers with delight as Billy licks her pussy and teases her asshole. Missionary followed by cowgirl, then reverse cowgirl, then she gets her ass licked again before getting fucked hard from behind. He cums all up on her chest, giving us a glimpse of some fine titties and a tattoo of Texas.  This girl's got the body; if she has trouble with Billy Glide, though, how do you think she'd fare with Lex Steele?

S

Scene 2: Sierra Day

This chick reminded me of a groupie from Whitesnake who I used to date.  A nice body, but a face that had me wishing her name was Sierra Night, oral, doggie and reverse cowgirl describe the positions.  Then pussy licking, cowgirl and more doggie, Sierra takes a cumshot to the left titty.  This one of the weaker scenes I've seen recently.

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Scene 3: Aria Arial

Aria, who is a spicy little treat, opens with a nice blowjob on Cody; then Cody eats her out, the saliva still on Aria's mouth, glistening in the sun.  Missionary followed by doggie, Aria's moans were painful to my ears, but her body was so delicious that it offset my issues with the tone of her squeels. She closes with reverse cowgirl before swallowing his jizz.

With the exception of the cumshot, where Aria, when asking for the counselor's cum on her face, uses a voice reminiscent of Arnold from Different Strokes, this scene was spankable.  "Give it to me baby" could have just as well been dubbed over as "whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis" to me.  Story of my life: fuck a hot chick and right when I'm about to come all over her face, the face turns into Gary Coleman... some guys got all the luck...

Scene 4: Cali Carter

When shooting scenes outside, naturally you will be subject to Mother Nature.  The sound of the wind in the beginning of this scene is so obnoxious, so annoying, so bush-league, that it gives me a sense of hope that one day, I, Peter Alexander Pornopolis, may make my own adult pictures. Cali gets going quickly, pulling out the counselor's cock and giving it some good lovin', showcasing her skills... She then gets on her knees and starts rubbing herself, showing us her nice ass.  Reverse cowgirl into cowgirl, where Cali sparkled; grinding and moving like a seasoned professional, the counselor spreads her ass open for your viewing pleasure.  Cali has the future in the adult business; she might considering getting an insurance policy on that ass of hers... damn, it's fine. She flips over and bounces on the cock until he nuts on her stomach; then she rubs into her skin like suntain lotion, not caring at all that it was SPF 0. A good scene, which really hinges on the appearance of the girl, has this girl on my radar now...

Scene 5: Lara Brooks

The first scene, as mentioned, is by far the best scene on this DVD; this final scene, hands-down, is the worst scene on the DVD. Lara Brooks is hanging out in her tent, minding her own business, when Otto comes over and tries (spoiler alert: successfully!) to seduce Lara into some younger-girl / aging-man action.

Lara is a long-haired redhead, pale and slender... using her goosebumps as a reason to warm her up, Otto kisses & fondles until he scores a blowjob. She then rides him reverse cowgirl; then cowgirl, reverse spoon, then a brief bit of missionary before Otto sprays Lara's shaved pussy with a mess of cum; this girl's got no ass, pardon my French, and there's no need to apply to the big leagues unless you got one.

The sound of this DVD was straight horrible.

In the end, only the opening scene brought me true happiness. A ray of sunshine though it were, it's not enough to make this title worthy of renting, let alone purchasing.  Barely Legal - quickly falling from my grace, sliding down a slippery slope towards mediocrity; assuming he's not in a courtroom lobbying to save the life of the man who shot & paralyzed him for life, Larry is probably kicking himself about this one; chances are, he didn't screen it for quality. My advice is to give Otto Bauer a break from the director's chair; like myself, for different reasons, though, this DVD is not AVN Awards Show bound!



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