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How To Pick Up A Teen

Studio: Hustler Video » Review by John Boy » Review Date: 2/23/14

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Feature Running Time:  2 hours 37 minutes

Date of Production: December 2013

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Genre:  Teen, gonzo

Condoms:   No

Director: Bud Fox

Cast: Tristan Berrimore, Averi Brooks, Cali Hayes, Kim Blossom, Zoey Foxx, TJ Cummings, Alex Gonz, Alec Knight, Bill Bailey, Tommy Pistol

Bonus Scenes:  No

Extras: Slide show, trailers, sex talk, Hustler.com, Hustler Hollywood      


How to Pick Up a Teen is a mostly POV film showcasing how TJ, Alex, Alec, Bill and Tommy work their magic to pick up young, fresh teen girls. There are a few hot spots in this film, but we really miss out on some of the action because of the camera angles and the perspective. The girls are ripe and voluptuous and they’ll definitely get you going, but I was left wanting to see more action and more heat from the scenes. I say rent this one. Zoey Foxx does manage to heat up the screen in the first scene of the flick. She and Bill Baily develop great chemistry and Zoey is a complete turn on as she sucks and fucks Bill. I think the rest of the scenes don’t quite get to the top of the heat-o-meter.   

Scene 1: Zoey Foxx and Bill Bailey 

Bill opens the scene talking directly to the camera with some tips on how to pick up a girl and fuck her the first time you meet her. He’s got lots of key points and decides to go out on the street to put his tips to the test. He walks down the street and runs into Zoey on the sidewalk. They chat for a bit and she’s curious about the camera because she’s actually always wanted to be an actress. Bill invites her over to hang out at the pool. She’s hesitant at first but decides to go with him. 

They get comfortable on the couch and Zoey is getting more and more OK with the camera as she unzips Bill’s pants.  She takes out his hard dick and starts sucking on it, looking directly up into the camera with her big eyes. 

Zoey decides to strip for the camera, taking her time and posing.

She continues the cock sucking, slurping and ball licking on Billy who is now seated. We’ve got a POV perspective. 

Billy puts her in doggy position on the couch and rubs his dick back and forth between her ass cheeks before sticking it in her pussy. 

He fucks her doggy style, slapping and grabbing her ass.

She gets into missionary position on the couch and Billy continues the pussy penetration. 

Zoey licks his dick clean then gets into cowgirl position taking Billy’s dick.

She quickly moves to reverse cowgirl as Billy fingers her clit, driving her crazy.

He licks her pussy then spoon fucks her. Zoey is cumming. She gets on her knees and jerks him off until her cums directly into her wide open mouth. 


Scene 2: Kim Blossom and Alec Knight

Alec Knight shares his tips and tricks for picking up young teen girls. He’s pulling the old lost dog trick. He walks up on Kim on the sidewalk and asks if she’s seen his dog. She hasn’t, but is really concerned. She walks around with him trying to find the dog. In fact, she follows him home to help him post an online ad about the missing dog. She turns on his laptop and porn’s on the screen. She tells him she actually likes porn too.

Kim is turned on by what she sees online and turns around to Alec wanting to suck his dick. She takes it out and gags on it, looking up at him. 

She wastes on time getting undressed for Alec’s camera and she can barely get comfortable on the couch missionary style before Alec is stuffing his cock up her cunt. 

She licks his balls before turning over on all fours in doggy position to get fucked some more.

She deep throats him now before getting spoon fucked, but Alec discovers that the battery on the camera has died. So, he reboots and tells Kim that they need to start fucking all over again.

She swallows his cock in long strokes, spitting on it to keep it lubed. Alec moves her into doggy position on the bed and pounds her from behind until quickly pulling out and cumming in her mouth. 


Scene 3:  Averi Brooks and TJ Cummings

TJ believes the only thing a man needs in order to pick up a woman is a camera and he’s out to prove it. He runs into Averi on the street and sure enough, she’s really curious about what TJ is doing with a camera. She follows him back home to learn more about what TJ is doing. She’s a little shy about having her picture taken, but TJ starts to convince her that she should give in to the camera. 

He convinces her to start taking her top off and before long he’s taking her panties off.

TJ moves in and starts licking Averi’s cunt, making her moan. 

Soon, Averi is on her back and taking TJ dick missionary style. TJ is still holding the camera and we’ve got a POV perspective on Averi’s cunt being fucked. 

She rides him reverse cowgirl and then turns on her back for a full on missionary fuck. TJ beats her cunt with his cock before sticking it in. He pounds her hard. 

They get into doggy position where Averi takes more dick.

We’ve got a front view perspective now of Averi’s face as TJ pounds her from behind. 

She rides him cowgirl style again then stops to suck his cock. She jerks and sucks him off until he shoots cum all over her mouth and cheeks, leaving her with dribbling cum down her chin. 


Scene 4:  Tristan Berrimore and Tommy Pistol

Tommy believes that if you put a girl in a scary situation and then tell her it’s all a joke, she gets really wet and turned on, making it easy to have sex with her.  He decides to put his theory to the test. He runs into Tristan and tells her there’s an emergency back at his house. His friend is dying and he needs CPR right away. Tristan rushes over and starts running up Tommy’s stairs only to learn that there is no emergency at all.

Tommy apologizes and says that he’s been watching her for a long time and thinks she’s really hot. Tristan listens to his story and soon starts playing with herself right in front of him. She rubs on her pussy and takes her top off. Tommy grabs hold of her tits. 

They kiss passionately then Tristan starts sucking Tommy’s cock. She’s dribbling and spitting all over it, leaving spit strings hanging from his dick. 

We’ve got a POV as Tristan posing her pussy right in front of the camera. 

Tommy licks and sucks on her clit, drying her crazy. They fuck standing doggy style on the stairs with Tristan looking back over her shoulder at Tommy as he fucks her. 

They move into a reverse cowgirl on the floor where Tristan grinds around and around on Tommy’s meat. 

They love standing doggy and get back into that position, slamming their bodies into each other. Tommy pulls out and Tristan jerks his dick until he cums in her mouth. 


Scene 5: Cali Hayes and Alex Gonz

Alex says the way he picks up girls is just to look at them, talk to them and try to convince them to come back to the house.  He walks up on Cali who is hanging out in the back yard. He tells her she’s looking cute and invites her back into the house.

Cali is a quick study and moves right into cock sucking, wasting no time. Alex tells her she’s got too much clothes on, so she strips down and continues the blow job. 

We’ve got a POV perspective as Alex puts her in cowgirl position. She’s facing the camera as Alex’s dick slips in and out of her wet pussy. 

She turns around into reverse cowgirl on the floor and keeps riding up and down on Alex’s prick.

He puts her on all fours on the couch and pounds her pussy from behind with his balls slapping up against her ass. She’s screaming now, holding her ass cheeks open.

Alex puts her back into cowgirl position, but Cali wants more dick in her mouth. So, she blows him off again, keeping her big eyes peeled on the camera.

Alex licks her clit, keeping her wet and fucks her missionary style on the couch. She’s rubbing her clit while Alex fucks her. 

He pulls out and shoots cum all over her pussy and stomach. 


Final Thoughts

You should rent How to Pick Up a Teen.  It presents a mostly POV perspective on how our lucky guys, Bill Bailey, Alec Knight, TJ Cummings, Tommy Pistol and Alex Gonz work their magic and seduce the young, ripe and voluptuous Zoey Foxx, Kim Blossom, Aver Brooks, Tristan Berrimore and Cali Hayes. The premise is good but the scenes don’t bring the heat that I think most viewers want from a flick like this. There are a few hot spots, namely Zoey Foxx’s fuck fest with Bill Bailey in the first scene of the movie, but the rest of the film was really hit or miss on the heat-o-meter. 

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