XCritc.com Adult DVD Reviews
Popular Searches:
Porn Reviews » Adult Movie Reviews » Game of Bones

Game of Bones

Studio: Zero Tolerance » Review by Vincent Pierce » Review Date: 3/18/14

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

GENRE: Spoof, Parody

DIRECTOR: Lee Roy Myers


LENGTH: 1 hr 50 mins 35 secs (DISC 1)


AUDIO/VIDEO: Zero Tolerance, and their designated director 'Lee Roy Myers' went all out to make this feature presentation a proper parody tribute to the original source material. Everything from the CG intro to the props, costumes, and sets were done in a fashion that definitely reflected the appearance of the hit television series. As far as costumes go they were the most intricately detailed outfits that I've seen in a porn parody. Wigs, and hair styles were also applied to make the outfitted performers look the part of the characters they were portraying. You, as a fan of the "Game of Thrones" will no doubt be able to recognize each character despite the performer's physical appearance that lies somewhat hidden underneath the facade. When it comes to sets the director did good to incorporate a fantasy/medieval look fitting of the theme that the original series had incorporated. While some scenes show a more makeshift set, and props it still does good to reflect the source material. Even the actual main throne looks as if it were taken from the set of the "Game of Thrones".

The screen size in this particular parody maintains a widescreen ratio throughout. The specifics of the screen size is not given though. As far as the visuals are concerned they are HD in nature, but are not specified as being HD on the dvd's cover. The sound on the other hand is equally as high in quality as the visuals, and carries with a digital/HD soundtrack filled with clear vocals, and added music fitting of the theme that was explored.

CAST: Bailey Blue, Dana Dearmond, April O'Neil, Anikka Albrite, Claire Robbins, Aaliyah Love, Tanya Tate, Anthony Rosano, Tommy Pistol, Aaron Wilcoxxx, James Deen




Through altered appearances, and applied over-the-top humor director 'Lee Roy Myers' leads a cast of performers to do the unthinkable in regards to a well known hit televison series. In his porn parody of the "Game of Thrones", appropriately named "Game of Bones" he not only twists the title with his own brand of perversion, but also has his onscreen actors, and actresses fuck it up royally (I mean that in the most positive manner possible). Like most porn parodies you'll find that this famous fantasy adventure takes on an entirely new light with pornographic engagments involving some of the most well-liked, and well-known characters from the original plot. The names are kept the same as to not stray from common understanding, and the likeness of each individual involved, though often times warped are kept alike as well. If you are expecting a pure tribute you will not find it here. All that exists within the two discs is a humorous yet sexy portrayal of characters you've grown to love.




SCENE 1 (Bailey Blue & Anthony Rosano):


Bailey Blue & Anthony Rosano


After an introductory skit making fun of the fact that this is indeed a porn parody 'Baily Blue' enters the scene as a prostitute alongside the pudgy 'Anthony Rosano' (who is playing the part of Podrick). Bailey drops hints about hearing rumors of Podrick's dick being as big as a dragon's tooth, and that it pleased all the whores so much that they would gladly work for free. Podrick doesn't deny this, but instead proposes to ask the lady whore some questions. She obliges the request by stating she'll answer him with sounds as she sucks his cock. Of course after this statement Bailey drops to her knees to give a decent blowjob that goes deep on occasion. Anthony who is playing the nervous Podrick maintains his character's geeky persona as Bailey slobs his knob. This oral sex encounter is short lived though and is switched up the moment Podrick asks to taste Bailey's "Lady Bits". For those of you who don't understand what this means, Anthony basically returns the favor with some proper pussy eating.

In the way of position changes the fantasy couple did good to keep things interesting. Bailey got to ride in the reverse cowgirl position bouncing up, and down for a while allowing the camera to focus on her full frontal offerings. Anthony, the lucky man that he was got to face fuck, and doggie style Bailey while she was on all fours. This was accompanyed with some ass slaps, and pounding penetrations. Anthony, as geeky as he is in appearance gave one hell of a commanding performance. He slapped ass, tossed salad, pounded pussy hard, and even face fucked Bailey for a short while. The scene was definitely a good starting point for the parody, and while the characters that were chosen may have not been the best in comparison to other fan favorites the sex that was shown more than made up for it. In the end Anthony (aka, Podrick) shot his load on the face of Bailey shortly after pulling out from the missionary penetration they were both into.


SCENE 2 (Dana Dearmond & Tommy Pistol):


Dana Dearmond & Tommy Pistol

-- sponsored by --


In the world of "Game of Bones" nothing is wackier than this fictional encounter between the King of the North (Tommy Pistol), and Talisa Stark (Dana Dearmond). Tommy Pistol being the hilarious adult performer that he is adds an unsual portrayal of Robb (The King of the North) to the already unusual parody plot. When the scene began it focused solely upon him as a fantasized about winning a war with a mock battlefield model. His table top strategy guide was decorated with plastice medieval toys, and a couple of larger than life toy dogs. He seemed overly desperate to win, but hopelessely lost on the thought of losing. It wasn't until Talisa (Dana Dearmond) arrived with her sexy proposal though that his despair was forgotten. Upon greeting her king Talisa proposed to relieve him of his worries by "Going South". At first he didn't understand the slang statement, but Talisa helped him to do so through her oral sex actions.

A good portion of this scene was spent on Dana Dearmond (Talisa) as she maniacally, and intensly sucked the cock of her king. Obviously not reflecting the true nature of the original character this new Talisa came off as being bat shit crazy. She constantly made sounds as she sucked cock, and even made some wacky facial expressions in the process. Normally I'd be turned off by such tomfoolery but the oral sex was so damn sexy for some reason that I almost lost it watching the scene (if you know what I mean?). Dana Dearmond, as far as I'm concerned is a masterful oralist. She deepthroated like a pro, took both cock & balls into her mouth, and even allowed for some forceful face fucking. The foreplay alone made this scene worth a watch.

For those of you looking for actual position changes, and penetrations there wasn't much of that at all, but they did go "69" at one point. In the end, when it was all said and done Talisa (Dana Dearmond) jerked off King Robb (Tommy Pistol) until he shot his load all over her face. After that she commenced licking his cock, sucking it, and even tasting the gooey prize that was left. Hot damn it was a good scene!!!


SCENE 3 (Claire Robbins & James Deen & April O'Neil):


Claire Robbins & James Deen


This next scene was kind of odd in that it was a two-part event. After making their way to a secluded cave Ygritte (Claire Robbins), and Jon Snow (James Deen) stopped to have a talk about trust as well as the birds, and the bees. Before they could get their groove on though they were interrupted by a female version of the Game of Throne's nightwalker. This pale as a ghost "tightwalker" carried with her a staff topped with a an equally pale dildo. As you can probably imagine both Jon, and Ygritte were stunned as they looked onward. Hell I know I would have been. Anyways, this sexy abomination decides to put on a solo show for the hot blooded couple, and uses her dildo staff topper to aid her in her mesmerizing performance. Switching focus from Jon, and Ygritte the cameraman turns his devoted attention to this completely naked, and pale as a ghost figure.

April O'Neil, who plays the role of the "Tightwalker" gives a simple rubbing, fingering, a dildo penetrating performance that is so unusual in appearance that it's hard to get off too. I will give the makeup artist props though as the applied full body paint, and added rags made her look Hollywood worthy. Despite her fantasy appeal though April O'Neil's perfomance ended up feeling more like a time waster than a proper part of the ongoing porn parody saga. Thankfully though Ygritte (Claire Robbins) eventually has her fill of the the show, pulls out an arrow, and shoots it right into the sexy beast's gut. This in turn blasts the tightwalker into artic ice bits allowing Jon, and Ygritte to continue their own naughty engagement.

Once the scene regains focus on the two main performers we find them naked as the day they were born porking each other in an improvised spooning position upon the cavern floor. Claire is obviously enjoying the vaginal penetrations as it shows in her every expression, and vocalized reaction. James Deen (Jon Snow) being the more brutal type of adult performer that he is truly gives it to Claire throughout their encounter. Whether he's pounding her tight holes, or fucking her face he always applies manly pressure showing off his dominance with her. Even Claire tries to impress with the occasional deepthroating, and gagging. As such the sex between the two fictitious lovers come off as being genuinely sexy. This is one of those scenes that will no doubt be considered as fan service for the adult viewers of the original show.


SCENE 4 (Anikka Wilcoxx):


Anikka Wilcoxxx


Milf of the Dragons, Daenerys (Anikka Wilcoxxx) graces us with her mystical presence as she teams up with a nobleman to gather an army for her own purposes. Like the scene with 'Dana Dearmond', and 'Tommy Pistol' this performer's parody role places her in a strategy room filled with a miniature mock battlefield, and spoken plans about a great war. Daenerys who had previously consulted a bearded nobleman during a brief plot intermission earlier on dismisses him so that she can persuade a true man of arms to do her bidding. This new man who speaks on behalf of the freelance army consults with Daenerys on a sexual level. Like the scenes before Daenerys (Anikka W.) gets down on her knees to impress with an initial blowjob. Her oral skills, like those before her are impressive for the most part, and include some hands-on, and hands-free assistance. At one point later on in the fantasy fuck Daenerys/Anikka also allows her male partner to face fuck her outright.

The penetrations, and position changes of the scene take place in one of the more elabortely decorated onscreen sets. There's plenty of castle-like props, and decorations to amplify the fantasy nature of the acts taking place. It should also be noted that Anikka Wilcoxxx looks almost exactly like her Hollywood counterpart. Her hair is done up like the Daenerys' of the original series, and her costume, while more primitive in style still gives a hint of the same character. Watching this parody representation of Daenerys fuck was a true treat indeed, and will definitely strike a chord with Daenerys fans. The two lovers who commanded the lead roles with their performances ended up putting on a proper show for the audience by banging away in the reverse cowgirl, '69', and doggie positions during their encounter. In all of these position changes Anikka stayed true to her role vocally, and continued to look the part throughout. The only disappointing aspect of the performance was the ass cumshot that Anikka received after being fucked in doggie one final time. I'm not an ass cumshot fan, period.


SCENE 5 (Aaliyah Love & Tanya Tate):


Aaliyah Love & Tanya Tate


Queen Cersei (Tanya Tate), and the daughter of Lord Tyrell, Margaery (Aaliyah Love) have a highly unusual role in this epic porn parody flick. Instead of staying true to their character these two characters are portrayed as intermission comic relief, and a means to tie in the off-the-wall plot. They usually babble on about non-sense, and real world stuff that has nothing to do with the original series. At the end of it all though Margaery receives a message tied to a stuffed crow detailing all that has gone on in the kingdom. As she rattles off the list of raunchy deeds Cersei gets all hot & bothered, and begins rubbing her own clit. This of courses comes with the mentions of over-exaggerated squirting, and cumming. Margaery eventually takes notice of the Queens reactions, and joins her for a full-on bumping, and grinding lesbian encounter. Between the two they pull off some nipple sucking, pussy pleasuring via tongue & fingers as well as some intimate kissing.

Being the end all scene that it is this final lesbian encounter takes place in the throne room, and upon the throne itself. It is an all out sexual romp between a well known porn cougar (Tanya Tate), and a a porno kitten (Aaliyah Love). While they both look sexy doing their deeds I can't help, but think to myself that this was once again a time filler thrown in to extend the length of the presentation. Sure the passionate kissing between the ladies was sexy, and sure the leg/pussy grinding Aaliyah did was hot, but it seemed totally out of place in comparison to what else was offered in the five scene collection. Heck, it was strange to even end the film in such a way. Usually lesbian sex is shown midways into a porno, and not at the tail end of it. For that reason alone I found this conclusion to be one of the more forgettable scenes of the parody.




The Headless Version: Yes Zero Tolerance did go that route. Like other porn parodies this extra gives you a sex free version of the film. It's basically straight to the point plot material with little to no nudity added. While it's obviously void of sexual intercourse it still is far from being kid friendly. There are still naughty bits included. In all honesty though it's a waste of time to watch, and comes off as being merely a fun poke at the already humerous content of the film.

Behind the Scenes: In regards to this parody's "Behind-the-Scenes" featurette it comes off as being more of a bloopers reel than anything else. Sure there's some serious points showing off the actual directorial process, but a lot of the outtakes are humorous in nature. Tommy Pistol gets his momment to shine as does James Deen, April O'Neil, and other female cast members As such this is the most noteworthy of the extras that are offered. It's definitely worth a watch for the laugh, or two that it gives. Too bad it's not as long as the trailers extras though (sarcasm intended).

Photo Gallery: I've never been one to go gaga over photo stills ripped from a film. I'd rather whack off to actual onscreen action than have to imagine what's going on through a photo. With that being said though this nearly fullscreen collection does offer up some nice eye candy. The fact that it's HD in presentation makes the stills worth at least one look through.

Trailers: It's a sad day in porn when the "Trailer" extra is the longest extra included on the disc. There's no denying that it's nice to learn about new dvds, new websites, and new products, but Damn did the producer go overboard. I sat through 6 porno trailers including that of "The Valley", "Client List", "Young Girls Taking Big Dicks", "Mick Blue's Eye Candy", "Tweeters", and "Veronica Avluv: No Limits". They were nice in that they let me know about other porn releases, but when it started getting into vibrators, boob lube, and jack-aide I started questioning myself as to why the fuck I'm sitting through this long ass waste of time. Seriously Zero Tolerance you could have made the "Behind The Scenes" featurette worlds better by adding as much time in it as you did this pitiful excuse for an extra. Seriously.



After spending most of my day viewing, and reviewing this particular porn parody I left thinking that it was good, but not exceptionally good. Certain scenes, and female performers definitely had my undivided attention while others commanded less. The scene with Tommy Pistol, and Dana Dearmond for example was so over-the-top funny, and sexy that it impressed me to no end. Dana Dearmond's oral sex skills, and comedic acting blended together perfectly to make the most excellent whack off material EVER!!! It was one of those fan service scenes that would no doubt catch, and hold the attention of many male "Game of Thrones" enthusiasts. It's the type of scene that has a "5" point replay value. Other scenes like that of the lesbian encounter between Aaliyah Love, and Tanya Tate seemed so forced, and unnecessarily there though that it made me feel as if the director was grasping for something to fill that particular time slot with. I would say the same of the comedic intermissions with non-fucking actors/actresses, but they did alright by adding a nice level of humor, and plot advancement to the parody.

When it comes to the "Extras" I was thinking to myself "WTF!?". The whole additional disc didn't seem necessary at all after having viewed it's contents. The extras that were included are the type of things that are usually included in a single disc porn film anyways. The only extra that was even remotely worthwhile was the "Behind the Scenes" featurette. Watching Tommy Pistol goof off like he usually does was a treat. Seeing some laughable moments from other cast members was also a pleasant surprise. What was really bad about the whole thing though was that the "Trailers (aka, product pushing)" extra was longer than any of the extras before it. I get that Zero Tolerance needs to advertise somewhere, and that porn dvds serve as a PC virus-free option for this, but I swear they went overboard with the product pushing. It is a sad day in porn when the longest extra in a 2-Disc porno is the "Trailers".

As far as a recommendation goes I still think this dvd carries with it some significant replay value, and some proper fan service. If you are an adult who loves the "Game of Thrones" television series do not pass this bad boy up. It captures, and visually reflects the nature of each character shown, but in a wholly perverse manner. Anyone who has ever fantasized about any of the characters getting together, and fucking will no doubt love what this parody has to offer. For diehard porn fanatics who could care less about it's origins you'll be glad to know that it's just as enjoyable without prior knowledge of the original series as it is with said knowledge. The female performers in general give one hell of a show, and Dana Dearmond alone blows the competition away with her laughable oral sex attack. What does that mean you say? I'm simply saying it's worth a buy, and that it is "Recommended!!!" by yours truly! Whatever you choose to do though do not pass this one up!


VERDICT: "Recommended!!!"

"I'm the man who coined the phrase "Same Sex Different Dame". If you're gonna produce porn PLEASE go all out, and don't fall victim to retro ruination. Innovation is king!"

- Vincent Pierce 2014 A.D.

comments powered by Disqus
Popular Reviews

The Preacher's Daughter
Lisa Ann Back 4 More
Rotten To The Core
Big Wet Tits 17
Pirates 2 Stagnetti's Revenge
My Hotwife's Gangbang 4
I Love My Mom's Big Tits 5
Black & White Vol. 12
Abuse Me 1
Angela Volume Three

Featured Reviews

Get XCritic Via Email:

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner